right on

love turned over

Claude — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 06:32:00 GMT

"Love is not a relationship. Love is a state of being; it has nothing to do with anybody else. One is not in love, one is love. And of course when one is love, one is in love - but that is an outcome, a by-product, that is not the source. The source is that one is love. And who can be love? Certainly, if you are not aware of who you are, you cannot be love. You will be fear. Fear is just the opposite of love. Remember, hate is not the opposite of love, as people think. Hate is love standing upside down, it is not the opposite of love. The real opposite of love is fear. In love one expands, in fear one shrinks. In fear one becomes closed, in love one opens. In fear one doubts, in love one trusts. In fear one is left lonely. In love one disappears; hence there is no question of loneliness at all." ~Osho

healing and self-hatred

Claude — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 08:39:14 GMT

"The most epidemic health problem we have is self-hatred. I understand that this may sound outrageous, especially to someone who has not felt self-hatred or who is in denial. But whenever you get to know anyone more deeply, you find a kernel of self-hatred inside them that runs very deep. Rather than calling it self-hatred, we use the term ‘low self-esteem.’ inside each person is a constant struggle for self-esteem that covers the self-hatred. The struggle for self-esteem rarely stops. Everyone tries to be special in some way to prove their self-worth. It may not be conscious, but it shows in behavior, both underachieving and overachieving. There are those who try harder and those who don’t bother. We are in a vicious cycle. We try, or blatantly don’t try, to prove we are worthy by a set of standard we laid out for ourselves in childhood. Yet when we do attain the goals laid out in those standards, we simply disregard them and pursue different ones. We base our self-worth on what we expect of ourselves. We demand an impossible perfection from ourselves. Then we judge and reject ourselves when we do not achieve that perfection. We demand a never-ending list of accomplishments from ourselves. As we achieve each one, we ignore and devalue it. We immediately focus on the next hurdle to surmount. We don’t allow time for the accomplishment to sink in or to congratulate ourselves for what we have done or for what we have become through our effort and struggle. We do not give ourselves the gifts that we have achieved or have given to others. Just ask healers to compare the number of self-healings to the number of healings given to others. Ask musicians if they can listen to and enjoy their own music without being judgmental. No wonder there are people who don’t even try to achieve anything. They see the folly in the whole game, so they refuse to play. Unfortunately, they kill their creativity, spirit, life energy and sometimes their bodies in the process." excerpted from the amazing book "Light Emerging" by Barbara Ann Brennan pgs. 131-2

the yoga of relationship

Claude — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 20:58:26 GMT

Discovering the Source of Union Within by Amrit Desai A relationship is like a mirror. It reflects everything we have been avoiding. It has the power to reveal our divine potential as well as the darkest recesses of our shadow side. Loving, intimate relationship has a tendency to stir up all our old hurts, traumas, insecurities, fears, and control issues. Sooner or later, we must recognize and embrace the parts of ourselves and our loved ones that we've been avoiding, suppressing and denying. When we use a loving relationship as a mirror to see who we truly are and what we have been hiding from, we enter the process of Self-discovery that moves us toward internal integration. This promotes healing and release of all the blocks that separate us from our higher Self as well as from our loved ones. This is the part of a relationship that provides us with an opportunity to discover our true Self; this is the yoga of relationship. Only a relationship that is founded primarily on the intention to see yourself with greater objectivity and unbiased awareness will truly become an experience of the Self-discovery, unity and ecstasy of love. To be in relationship with another is really about being in relationship with yourself. Every obstacle you encounter in love that appears to be coming from the other is actually a reflection of what you unconsciously harbor within. If you do not face all these obstacles with integrative awareness, the integrative power of true love will turn into fear and resistance. It is the presence of mindful awareness that helps you overcome the obstacles of the separative ego that keep you from experiencing the unity of love. In the truly loving relationship, the process of Self-discovery progressively allows us to become free of ego-centered, separative walls and promotes deeper levels of divine love.

the lesson i'm holding onto today

Claude — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 16:39:34 GMT

"You are a man and like any man you deserve everything that is a man's lot — joy, pain, sadness and struggle. The nature of one's acts is unimportant as long as one acts as a warrior. If you really feel that your spirit is distorted you should simply fix it — purge it, make it perfect — because there is no other task in our entire lives which is more worthwhile. Not to fix the spirit is to seek death, and that is the same as to seek nothing, since death is going to overtake us regardless of anything. To seek the perfection of the warrior's spirit is the only task worthy of our manhood. No matter how much you like to feel sorry for yourself, you have to change that. It doesn't jibe with the life of a warrior. The hardest thing in the world is to assume the mood of a warrior. It is of no use to be sad and complain and feel justified in doing so, believing that someone is always doing something to us. Nobody is doing anything to anybody, much less to a warrior. You are here, with me, because you want to be here. You should have assumed full responsibility by now, so the idea that you are at the mercy of the wind would be inadmissible. Self-pity doesn't jibe with power. The mood of a warrior calls for control over himself and at the same time it calls for abandoning himself." –Carlos Castaneda, excerpted from "Journey to Ixtlan"

energy update

Claude — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 21:21:51 GMT

by Karen Bishop "The deep digging bulldozer is still working its way forward, as we excavate more and more of the parts of ourselves that need tweaking, releasing, and examining. Through all of this deep movement, there is a theme present, and a sure and certain purpose. We are being prepared for community living. And we are purging and releasing arrogance. So even though these times may be stressful, challenging, and stretch us to the maximum, they would not be occurring if community living was not on the very near horizon, and if we were not, as always, aligning more fully with Source. In order to live successfully in community, we must fit. The energies and vibrations of each and every one of us must be able to exist in harmony with a community lifestyle. We are being groomed and prepared for community living because so much of the old world and old systems will be falling away and will end in the very near future. In this way, we can now know that all is always in divine and perfect order, as we are always and most certainly being protected and guided through this amazing ascension process. Symptoms and manifestations? The squeezing is still present, as much that is not in harmony or a vibrational match for a higher way of living and being is being squeezed out and removed. In this way, we are being strongly encouraged to drop behavior patterns, tone down others, and adopt new ones. Community living means being able to exist in a group setting. So, much of anything that does not vibrate within this theme needs to go or be revised. For example, are you one who cares so much and is so responsible that you do most of everything…for yourself and everyone else? If this is the case, you will be asked to do less, to relax and enjoy yourself more, and to let others step up to the plate. Are you one who sits back and relaxes already? If this is so, you will be asked to contribute more and to let others relax more, and you are one who can show them how to do it! We will encounter situations and people in our lives who will illuminate strongly and beautifully where we need to tweak our own individual energies. These encounters will make us so miserable, that we will not be able to ignore them for long! They have wonderful messages for us, if we choose to examine them and to embrace the changes that we need to make within us. The areas where we are miserable are there to show us that a change needs to be made. We can ask ourselves, “What would feel really good for me right now?” “What am I craving?” And then give up, surrender, and allow it to come into our lives. More about this later on. If the “squeezing,” pressure, and feelings of overwhelm become too much to bear, here are some temporary remedies: When energy moves through us very strongly and intensely, it can greatly help to relax. This allows the energy a more easy flow. So then, we can do whatever works for us in regard to relaxing and letting go. We can sing, walk in nature, watch a good movie, hug a tree, take a few days off and get pampered, remove ourselves from the mainstream, get a massage, or simply do some yoga. We are all different with different solutions for relaxing, so just go with your favorite or ask for a new one. In addition, this squeezing is creating a natural detoxification within us as well. Body and muscle aches, headaches and sinus pressure, extreme fatigue and exhaustion, are but a few of the most common symptoms. For me, I feel as though there is a poison within me that is aching to get out. It literally hurts everywhere. We can then drink lots of water, eat light and healthy, move our bodies, and do whatever else we are familiar and comfortable with that supports a detox. None-the-less, we are still feeling this great transmutation within us, as many of our cells are literally reconfiguring. And after much progress has been made, we usually go into the exhaustion phase. It is a massive process and can really take a toll. But when most of this transmuting has been accomplished (for this particular phase!), we will find ourselves on new turf, in a new reality, and now more securely and harmoniously wired for our next adventure. Each of us is different, and therefore the timing for this process is different as well. We are releasing much now as we have arrived at a new and higher vibrating reality and must now match it as much as possible. This brings us to the arrogance. When we were residing in a lower dimension, we were not as connected to Source as we are now. In this way, we relied more and more on ourselves to make things happen, and to understand how things worked. Now that we are moving into higher vibrations, we begin to see things differently, and to process and exist differently. In the lower dimensions, we did much ourselves. If we wanted something to happen, it was up to us to make it happen. We did not know much about helping and assisting either. And we also perceived much and ran our energies much in a way that related to “us,” or our ego selves which was much more removed from the whole. Many of us “helped” without being asked. Our help was not needed. We did not know better. We took charge where we did not need to. And in this way, Source could not even find us, as we were somewhere else…we were not present…we were making things happen…we were not sitting still….we were moving our energy from an ego mind set. As we are now ascending and expanding in our spiritual awareness, we can see more clearly how our ego selves, or our arrogance, came into play, but no longer needs to. We may then, recently have had dreams relating to an arrogant situation within ourselves that left us feeling terrible guilt (many times we release through dreams), or may even feel self loathing or guilt in our everyday lives while we are processing and letting go of an arrogance we no longer need. We are purifying as always, and releasing the arrogance is part of our preparation for community living. In community living, the whole is vitally important. We cannot exist without the whole, and each and every one of us is vitally important to the success of the whole. So then, arrogance comes from things being our idea, and not as much an idea that stems from our connection to Source. When I recently moved to these new lands in New Mexico, I really got my rear end kicked. And it all came from the higher realms in preparation for community…not from any experience of becoming involved with community, as I have not gotten that far yet. My role needed to integrate harmoniously with the whole. I was not on my own. I needed to adjust my energies…the energies I had utilized in order to survive in the old reality. This is true for each of us now. We are being prepared. Our old patterns of survival are being tweaked and adjusted for community living. These lands where I now reside hover over a hidden power spot, ready to be released, as it is time, but it is not up to me to consciously open up this new (or ancient) energy. We are just here to enjoy ourselves. Allowing our gifts and passions to emerge in harmony with the whole. That is enough. This power spot will decide to do what it wants to all by itself. As the residents of our community continue to share their gifts and talents, connect with Source, and embody their joy and passion in a responsible way, these energies will merge with the great pyramid under our feet and it will open very naturally. One occurrence and evident reality of higher and community living? We need to be asked and invited. I wrote a section about this in Stepping Into the New Reality (it still is not out yet…pretty soon it will be, I imagine. Ugh!). So what does that mean? Phil and I were literally asked to move here. It was seemingly not our idea. Individuals we did not know literally came to Springerville and asked us to come, and they did not know us either. And then the energy really grew about being here. We really had to think about it, as we did not want to really move right then. A few days ago, I was on the Zuni reservation, and noticed that the energetic doors were closed there. Why? Because I had not been asked to be there yet. And even when we finally moved here, I still had to go through certain higher realms (or non-physical protocol) that involved integrating and being asked. So far, Phil and I have been asked to become involved in certain things here, and they are just coincidentally all about our own individual passions, gifts, and contributions. When I wrote my first book, people were asking me for it before I wrote it. There was a demand before it was written. These are situations of like energy attracting like energy. There will be a demand for who we are and what we have to offer, and it will culminate and meet up with the perfect creation, or our contribution. This is true for finding our community as well. Many are asking most recently now, where there are communities growing. They want to know where they belong. This is because it is finally time for the communities to begin, as we need to be safe, secure, and living fully when the old world crashes. All is in order. We intuitively know what is next, as our souls are guiding us. My 25 year old daughter Ari now lives in North Carolina. She and her family are hitting many roadblocks there now, although they have lived there for almost ten years. It is time for her to move. She likens it to a heart that is no longer receiving blood as its arteries are now clogged up. No supports, no energy, no success there for her right now. After struggling profusely with trying to find a new home, with no success, she finally decided something was up. And totaling her new car was another message for her as well. So this week-end we talked about it again. It is a big decision for her, as she has children and a husband who has lived there his entire life. She has now accepted the fact that it is time to move. But where? She did what she has always done…she wrote down what she wants in a new community….wrote it all down in great detail. Then she waited. She waited for the signs to arrive. She started seeing Arizona license plates everywhere. Then a man from Arizona State University kept calling her. She had inquired at one point about school there, but he was not calling her about school. He was simply inviting her to come to Arizona. She was being asked. All the pieces are not there for her yet, but in time, it will all become clear. Totally seemingly in the dark and not knowing where in the world they now belonged, the energy is slowly building in one direction. We cannot go where others are going because it sounds like a great place (even though sometimes it may just be the place, if we get more signs as well). This is because there is a really great place somewhere that is just for us…a perfect fit for who and where we are now vibrating. We attract to ourselves what we are in alignment with. When we ask for a “sign,” or allow Source to guide us, what we are really doing is guiding ourselves as we are indeed Source. When we let go and surrender, get out of the way, and just relax, then our connection to Source becomes ever so much greater. It is not Source that is guiding us…it is us. It is our soul and the higher version of us that is now being allowed through the gates…easily accessible now, as we attract to us who we are at the highest levels. Everything then, is actually our own idea, but this is not arrogance, this is the purified and true version of who we are. When we let go of the arrogance, or the pushy, make things happen, our ego idea part of ourselves, then our own idea really does arrive, only we do not have to do all the leg work, figure anything out, or hold tightly. And it is our own idea that is in alignment with our souls. It is then, our soul’s idea. We all have arrogance. We were supposed to. It kept us alive in the denser and lower vibrating energies. Becoming exhausted and too tired to do anything, greatly assists in allowing Source to enter more fully. Many of the times I moved, I never really knew why I was going where I was going. I was not that savvy or consciously connected at that level. Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter. We ended up in our new home because we were being evacuated from our homeland (as a cleansing was due to arrive), as were our Mogollon ancestors before us. All that really matters, I believe, is that we do what feels good to us…that we make decisions and take actions from a place of love and caring…and that we know that we are always guided and protected by our souls." Original post located at: http://www.whatsuponplanetearth.com/latest.htm (photo of spiral galaxy courtesy of NASA and the Hubble team)

hymn to the sacred body of the universe

Claude — Fri, 09 Nov 2007 05:20:11 GMT

by Drew Dellinger drewdellinger.org let's meet at the confluence where you flow into me and one breath swirls between our lungs let's meet at the confluence where you flow into me and one breath swirls between our lungs for one instant to dwell in the presence of the galaxies for one instant to live in the truth of the heart the poet says this entire traveling cosmos is "the secret One slowly growing a body" two eagles are mating— clasping each other's claws and turning cartwheels in the sky grasses are blooming grandfathers dying consciousness blinking on and off all of this is happening at once all of this, vibrating into existence out of nothingness every particle foaming into existence transcribing the ineffable arising and passing away arising and passing away 23 trillion times per second— when Buddha saw that, he smiled 16 million tons of rain are falling every second on the planet an ocean perpetually falling and every drop is your body every motion, every feather, every thought is your body time is your body, and the infinite curled inside like invisible rainbows folded into light every word of every tongue is love telling a story to her own ears let our lives be incense burning like a hymn to the sacred body of the universe my religion is rain my religion is stone my religion reveals itself to me in sweaty epiphanies every leaf, every river, every animal, your body every creature trapped in the gears of corporate nightmares every species made extinct was once your body 10 million people are dreaming that they're flying junipers and violets are blossoming stars exploding and being born god is having déjà vu I am one elaborate crush we cry petals as the void is singing you are the dark that holds the stars in intimate distance that spun the whirling, whirling, world into existence let's meet at the confluence where you flow into me and one breath swirls between our lungs

happy halloween

Claude — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 04:03:36 GMT

may your day be spooky and filled with spiderwebs, bats and bonbons!

feeling flexy

Claude — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 19:38:24 GMT

Remember, being good at yoga is not a function of how bendy you are. It's a matter of how attentive you are, and how willing you are to be guided from within. – Erich Schiffmann

*

Claude — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 07:35:40 GMT

The desire to know gives permission for the knowing to flow into you. – Erich Schiffmann

the nature of water

Claude — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 04:42:25 GMT

Italy, France, Malta, Greece, Montenegro, Croatia, Slovenia … For the past month my life has carried me all across water, boats, bays, oceans, shores, canals, ports, piers, rains, ships, rocking, tide, rivers, crying, washing, lakes, cleansing, flowing, floating, vessels, water, splashing. So many changes. Eye openings, chakra openings, heart openings, too. Who can ever tell in advance what lies at the end of an ocean or what treasures will be found along the way? Life happens. It just unfolds. All we need to do is stay present with it. Everything always goes exactly how we need it to, inevitably but also unexpectedly. The universe delivers places, people and experiences far more amazing than any we can imagine on our own. Who are we to ask why? Today I learned that water is the symbol of changeless change: rain, sleet, snow, iceberg, stream. All one thing. Maybe all my waterways mean this, too – that separate paths are really one, always joined and continuously unfolding. Even when they appear to bend apart, they always merge again beyond some rollercoaster curve. I also learned that water is the element that helps us communicate our emotions. And who could have guessed how long or far I’d have to flow downstream to reconnect with that path of my heart? I didn’t even know it had been missing. And now, with my heart chakra opening in wings and waves and currents, I’m so grateful to have found it again. And why? Well, who am I to ask? Who am I? I’ve spent a long time sitting with that today and finally came up with the only answer that makes perfect sense: It doesn’t really matter. I just need to be and keep living in the flow of my full and open heart.

still rollin'

Claude — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 14:48:55 GMT

"In America when the sun goes down and I sit on the old broken-down river pier watching the long, long skies over New Jersey and sense all that raw land that rolls in one unbelievable huge bulge over to the West Coast, and all that road going, all the people dreaming in the immensity of it ... and nobody, nobody knows what's going to happen." — Jack Kerouac It was on this day in 1957 that Jack Kerouac's book On the Road was published. His inspiration for the book came ten years earlier. He was living in New York City with his mother, trying to write his first novel, when he met a drifter named Neal Cassady, an ex-convict from Denver who had actually been born in a car, and who became a car thief when he was fourteen years old. By the time Kerouac met him, Cassady had stolen more than five hundred cars and had been arrested ten times. Kerouac later wrote, "All my other current friends were intellectuals ... [but Cassady] was a wild yea-saying overburst of American Joy." Kerouac and Cassady became close friends, but Cassady eventually had to move back to Denver. Kerouac wanted to follow him. He started reading histories of the great American migrations out west. He studied maps of the new highways that ran all the way from the East Cost to California. He was particularly attracted to Route 6, drawn in a red line on his map, which led from Cape Cod to Los Angeles. He made up his mind to follow it all the way to Denver, where he could meet up with Neal Cassady. He scraped up enough money for the journey and set out in July of 1947. Kerouac's journey did not start out well. He rode a trolley to the edge of Yonkers and then hoped to hitchhike the rest of the way across the country. But when he reached Route 6, at the border of Connecticut, he got caught in a rain storm and there were no cars to pick him up. He finally gave up, made his way back to New York, and used almost all his money to buy a bus ticket to Chicago. He had better luck hitchhiking once he got outside of Chicago. When he crossed the Mississippi River, he began to feel that he was really part of the American West. In Omaha, he was amazed to see his first real cowboy, a man in boots and a ten-gallon hat. He rode all the way from Nebraska to Wyoming on the back of a flatbed truck with a group of hobos. He saw the snowy peaks of the Rocky Mountains for the first time. When he finally made it to Denver, he met up with Cassady and his old friend Allen Ginsberg, and the three of them partied for weeks. Kerouac eventually moved on to San Francisco, where he worked odd jobs for a while. He finally took a bus back to New York City in October, and he was so broke that he had to panhandle for bus fare to get to his mom's house in Ozone Park. Kerouac knew he wanted to use the experience for a novel, but he struggled with various fictional plotlines: a man in search of his father, a convict in search of his runaway daughter, a young man in search of his lost love, and so forth. He finally figured out how to write the book after receiving a series rambling letters from Cassady, one of which was 40,000 words long. He realized the novel had to be written about Cassady and in Cassady's own voice, which Kerouac described as "all first person, fast, mad, confessional ... with spew and rush, without halt, all unified and molten flow; no boring moments, everything significant and interesting, sometimes breathtaking in speed and brilliance." So, in April of 1951, Kerouac sat down at his kitchen table, wound a continuous roll of paper into a typewriter, turned on an all-night Harlem jazz radio station, and in twenty days wrote the first draft of his new novel. The text was single-spaced, with no commas or paragraph breaks. Kerouac showed it to various publishers but they all turned him down. He spent the next several years working on other novels, but finally in 1957, he decided to revise his novel to make it more acceptable, with paragraph breaks and normal punctuation. He went through many different titles, including "Souls on the Road," "American Road Night," "Home and the Road," "Love on the Road," and "Along the Wild Road," until he finally chose the simplest title: On the Road. On the Road came out on this day in 1957, and a great review appeared in The New York Times. It became a best-seller at the time, and it still sells about 100,000 copies a year. (Article reprinted from the Writer's Almanac; photo (c) AP)

sun~moon~endings~beginnings

Claude — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 03:25:04 GMT

I received this today in my kundalini yoga newsletter: "Eclipses signal change. Lunar and Solar eclipses bring both endings and new beginnings. In particular, the Lunar eclipse earlier this week and the Solar eclipse next month are said to be able to bring an end to some suffering in your life if you are willing and able to stay connected to the Divine. During the partial solar eclipse on September 11th, energetic patterns will be balanced and karma can be dissolved. Solar eclipses can also signal major endings / beginnings / dramatic shifts that can catapult you to the next level. It is time to be honest with yourself and build your life on the foundation of your own truth. Evaluate, don't let your subconscious sabatoge you again and be consciously aware of how your actions and thoughts create your reality. This is not a time to control. This is a time to be attentive and to let go. The only thing you need to focus is your mind. A daily practice (no matter how small) of Yoga and Meditation during this time is most important to focus and integrate these changes into your life. Choose a ... yoga set or a meditation and commit to continuous ... practice to take you through the partial solar eclipse of September 11th." *Excerpted from New Millennnium Being, Issue #137. (Note from me: edited to be inclusive to all forms of yoga.)

the silver thread that links us

Claude — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 08:53:53 GMT

* reprinted from http://www.bigcatrescue.org/margay_photos.htm * Kahlua Female Margay Date of Birth: 6/6/82 Kahlua came to Big Cat Rescue on 6/6/93, with André, a male Margay. She was supposed to be six years old when we got her, but one of our volunteers had known her for at least twelve years when she lived at Savage Kingdom. She was already missing half her teeth when we got her, but she has always been a strong cat and this doesn’t seem to hamper her. She was too rough with André to leave them together except when she was in heat, which is only a few times a year, for a few days at a time. Sadly, Andre died of old age and Kahlua died in July of 1999 at the age of 17. She will be greatly missed by all of us here at Big Cat Rescue. She was the last of the Margays living at Big Cat Rescue. Even though they are gone now, they still speak to us in the wind that rustles through the trees that were their home. They understand that all that is, or was or will be is made up of energy. Some people describe God the same way; All that was, All that is and All that will be. Energy can never be created nor destroyed and it lives in all things and through all things as the silver thread that connects all of us. We are all a part of this energy and our thoughts are what shape the physical world. Humans only use 5% of their mind's amazing ability. The power of the mind is the last frontier and using it to your fullest capacity will teach you that there is nothing that you cannot do or be or have.

this centenarian rules

Claude — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 04:34:32 GMT

My Great Uncle Bill just turned 100! My family had a party for him today, and it was fun, deep and poignant, too. Lots of generations of Slovenian relatives and lots of wine, sausage, dumplings and kolackis, and polka music! Uncle Bill was one of seven brothers, my grandfather among them, and although most of them lived into their 90s, Uncle Bill is the last surviving brother. Most of them lived within a few blocks of each other for their entire lives, and they always did everything together. Some of my cousins made a DVD of pictures from the past 100 years and even older. There were pictures of the family's old town and farm in Slovenia, all the brothers across the decades, births, weddings, dances, Christmasses ... and a century of smiling faces, many of them now gone. Uncle Bill sobbed and buried his face in a handkerchief as dozens of pictures from his earliest years scrolled by. His grandparents, parents, brothers, old childhood dogs, games and playmates. We all cried with him, too, 175 people all feeling the same thing -- equal parts of overwhelming sadness and happiness like only the most beautiful, longest gone memories can conjure. It made me wonder how many memories one person has room to contain? Is there a point where we fill up? Or where we just break under their weight? I have days, even now, where memory can become at moments almost too much to bear ... 100 years! Hard to imagine. Today after they finished dancing a polka, Uncle Bill's wife, Aunt Fran, said to me, "I want some of what he's got!" (She's only in her 90s, after all). She said he never lets anything get to him. He never worries about life, and she has always admired that about him. He always says to her, "Well so what if this or that happens? Then it's happened. Big deal." I told her he was gifting his carefree nature to her every time he said that. He shares it with her. "I guess he does," she said, and then she smiled. Živijo, Uncle Bill! Happy century to you!

your own path

Claude — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 20:55:27 GMT

"Confusion comes from wondering if someone else's way is the right way. Better to know your own way." -Dhyani Ywahoo

dying is beautiful...

Claude — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 04:07:10 GMT

...at least this is what guidance reveals, and my personal experience, too. It is always a beautiful thing to pass over. That doesn't make it easier to suddenly lose a beautiful being whom you love. Little Mothra had a low, sexy meow, like Ella Fitzgerald. Her fur was fine and soft like the threads of a milkweed pod. She loved to hold hands and always purred loudest when her head was buried in the curled palm of my hand. We were separated once for nearly four years, and I was lucky enough to have her back for another three and a half years, until tonight, when I had to unexpectedly say goodbye. And so tonight, her soul is traveling. Safe journeys to you, Mothra. Thank you for all of the love. You were a great gift in my life, and I will miss you. Now is the time. Now is ALWAYS the time. Show the ones you love how much you love them. Live with no regrets. BE LOVE. It's all around you. Just let go, and love. This moment is everything.

last-day prophecy

Claude — Sat, 14 Jul 2007 05:23:17 GMT

Fortune cookies are a big deal to me. They’re like little baked oracles. Think about it. It’s not often that you get a prophecy delivered to you on a platter. So when it happens, it’s a good idea to pay attention. When something big is happening in my life, I almost always get a fortune that fits what’s going on, gives the perfect advice or an accurate prediction. Yesterday was my last day at my job. This exit has been in the works for six months, and I’m so happy to be reaching the light at the end of this long tunnel. To celebrate, my friend and coworker took me to lunch at a Chinese restaurant so I could get a fortune for my big change. And look what it said ^^^. Ahh, the perfect ending. Today is the first day of the rest of my life ... or something like that.

live your dream

Claude — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 19:09:12 GMT

This man from Oregon just flew 193 miles in a lawn chair tied to 105 helium balloons. "When you're a little kid and you're holding a helium balloon, it has to cross your mind," Kent Couch said. "When you're laying in the grass on a summer day, and you see the clouds, you wish you could jump on them. This is as close as you can come to jumping on them. It's just like that." He's right, you know. Who never had that dream as a kid of floating away with a balloon? He soared for nine whole hours and said the ride was peaceful and quiet. He could even hear cows and children playing down below. "It was beautiful. Beautiful," he said. ---------------------------------------- Read the full story here: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/07/10/flying.lawn.chair.ap/index.html photo (c)AP Wire

swami j on true happiness

Claude — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 16:15:07 GMT

This week, I've been busy learning and taking in the wise words of others. Here are some from Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati about "Money, Sex, Fame, Health, Self and Yoga": http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=11738834 [If anyone knows how to embed video into a blog post here, please message me. :-) ]

a wild passion

Claude — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 03:27:51 GMT

This is Mabel Stark, the most famous female tiger tamer in history. I discovered this photo while researching a work project and looked up her story: After being orphaned at age 11, Mabel ran away from her Kentucky relatives to study nursing but then became a circus performer instead. She moved into big-cat training when the circus' existing female trainer was killed on the job. Mabel called herself “the only woman in the world crazy enough to mess with tigers.” She was very popular during the 1910s and 20s, due in part to a dangerous fake-attack act with her most famous tiger, Rajah. What looked like an assault was really Rajah trying to copulate with her, and he often ejaculated on her during the act. Her trademark outfit was a white bodysuit, which hid his semen. In 1925, Mabel was replaced at Ringling Bros. by Clyde Beatty, and she found a job at a second-tier circus, where she was mauled nearly to death by several of her tigers, which had not been fed. Some people think this was really a suicide attempt. She later bragged about wanting to die by tigers. It took her nearly two years to recover. Afterward, she moved around over the years through smaller circuses and then took a job taking care of the big cats at JungleLand, a California amusement park where she worked until shortly before her death. During her 50 years of working with tigers, Mabel Stark was mauled more than 18 times, underwent dozens of operations to repair damage, received thousands of stitches and was covered in scars. She liked Hamm’s beer, hamburgers and Gilligan’s Island. She married five times, all of them to further her career except one, which lasted for a few short years when she was nearly retired. She once said, "I could find no pleasure or happiness anywhere except with the tigers." In 1968, JungleLand was sold, and Mabel was fired. Three months later she did commit suicide, though not by tiger claws, but by barbituates and carbon monoxide poisoning. She was either 74 or 80 years old. No one is sure. About tigers, Mabel wrote, "I have been clawed and slashed and chewed until there is hardly an inch of my body unscarred by tooth or nail. But I love these big cats as a mother loves her children, even when they are the most wayward. They are killers because they know their own strength. They can be subdued but never conquered, except by love. Tigers are like people -- no two are alike. Each has his own peculiarities of temperament and disposition, which the trainer must study and understand. Some must be coaxed and spanked. Others can be flattered into obeying with a word of praise. Like all of us they want praise. That word of approval is worth a dozen beatings. ... The animal hates a cruel master and bides its time ... And that is the secret of all successful animal training. I have learned it at the risk of my life…” And what's your true passion? Are you willing to risk your life for it? I guess nobody ever said that after you find the path with heart the rest is easy. Maybe walking that path is when the real work starts. Maybe it's not possible for dreams to come true without pain. But better to die in the ring trying than never having risked yourself for what you love. ~~~ (Side note: Mabel wrote an autobiography in 1938: “Hold That Tiger.” And recently Robert Hough wrote a novel based on her life: “The Final Confession of Mabel Stark.” The movie version will star Kate Winslet.)

my solstice yoga mala

Claude — Thu, 21 Jun 2007 22:31:15 GMT

108 sun salutations (suryanamaskar), one practiced for each of the things I'm grateful for this past six months: Mom, Dad, my brother Carl, Lisa for being there, Deb for solid friendship, Amer for reappearing across oceans, Jed for healing gifts and learning across oceans, Peter for kinship on our paths, all my pool team (Angie, Chris, Jeannine, Courtney, Megan, Megan and Megan) for support and friendship, all of the old friends I found recently that I didn’t realize I had, the zoo -- Lupe, Pho, Mischief, Mothra --, sick building syndrome, other blessings in disguise, construction next door, loss of things I no longer needed and things holding me back, all my plants inside and out for healing green, Josh for rescuing my house from an unfinished fate, uncovering my inner strength, Robert for healing, Pinckney for creative support, Fred for believing in my writing when I haven’t, Patrick for reawakening sleeping parts of me, Whistler and experiencing it, my bicycle and the sense of freedom riding it gives me, Mark for being my advocate, Shawn for always loving me no matter what, lightwork, yoga, my inner guru, avocados, giving unconditional love, receiving unconditional love, Judy for healing guidance, my good health, centeredness, the opening of the path of my heart, finding my intention, Jason for total rockness, Kevin for love, my home, champagne mangoes, kombucha, inner beauty and finding it, the world’s beauty, finding my inner heart, reconciling my past, Yogi Bhajan, Erich Schiffman, detachment, shrinking of my ego, growth of my dreams, releasing depression, Steve for lessons learned, forgiveness, finding happiness, the beauty of every moment, kundalini, Laika for love, Cerebus for wisdom, Trinokos for perception, my healed nose, sinuses, throat and lungs, my mended and opened heart, Andreas for saving my life the first time, Philipp for saving it the second, Chicago under blue skies, my beautiful pond and all its fish, unexpected gifts from the universe, bridges crossing, anam cara, honoring higher purpose, laughing with friends, learning, teaching, stories, MIS and Tribe friends and all their teachings, discovering true courage, sensing universal connection, honoring desire, Paulette’s cancer healing, my dad’s cancer healed, my mother’s memory mostly intact, my growing and healing senses, my subtle body’s wisdom, Moni for such hopeful cards, time circling back on itself, creativity emerging again, Eveli Sabati always for the gift of yoga, Shakta for lessons learned, the release of many judgements, growth of my acceptance, recognizing my inner worth, putting my foot down, setting limits with people and loving them too, finding infinite space inside myself, the winds of change, surprises, prophecies, plans, all of my deaths, all of my lives, all of my heartbreaks, all of my loves, eternal life – nothing ever truly dies, Infinite Mind

Dear Infinite Mind,

Claude — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 17:18:40 GMT

Namaste again. I guess what I should have made clear was, don’t let my team save me as the secret weapon for the final match just because I’m under-handicapped and shoot well under pressure. Since we lost earlier than the final round, I was unable to even play, which meant that I could not use my rockness and unbending intent to help us win a spot in Las Vegas, and consequently, could not benefit others in the universe from the contribution of potential blackjack winnings, randomly directed vibes of love to gamblers, etc. etc. My teammates tried and played their best. I know, too, there is always a larger plan -- The Plan -- and so I trust you must have something better in mind for me for the weekend of the APA National Billiard Championship in Las Vegas. I’m sure that this alternate path will kick ass, too (peacefully, of course). I want to add that I’m grateful to have attended the tournament. I saw some old friends, had my cue tip shaped, shot a lot of practice games, shared some great laughs, and flew high on the vibes of excitement and intense focus generated by a roomful of several hundred excellent pool players intent on winning. And since my team won two earlier tournaments to place into this event, we did get $200. (Be assured, IM, that I will still donate my small share to a worthy cause.) So what’s the lesson here? Even with unwavering intent, I cannot control other people’s actions or karma. I did not at all crack in my own focus or desire to win, and to that degree my actions were perfect. This is why I wasn’t very bummed about the loss. And so the second lesson is that in spite of how others’ actions may affect me, it’s most important to not waver in my own intentions. If I do that, I can live through “disappointments” with a clean heart and with something to be grateful for. And if the winds change, all I need to do is let them. Because winds can and do change … in fact, they’re changing right now ... ... can you feel it?

Dear Infinite Mind,

Claude — Sat, 16 Jun 2007 03:43:22 GMT

Namaste. As you know, Big Mind, my women's pool team has a tournament starting in twelve short hours. We've worked hard to get here, and this is the biggie, Citywide Playoffs. If we win, we go to Las Vegas to play in the national finals. I want very much to play at nationals, and so does the rest of my team. So, IM, I'm going to begin manifesting my intent right here, and I am grateful already for your help in making it possible. I want to win all of my matches this weekend. I will win because my intent, discipline and focus are unwavering. My form is perfect, my shoulders are open and loose, my stroke follows through perfectly, my bridge hand stands firm, and my aim is true. I am one with the cue ball. I will play the best games of my life this weekend. My mind is sharp, and I play great defensive shots and execute them precisely. I block my opponents from running out before I do. I take my time. I chalk Black Betty between every shot and think my way to the eight ball intelligently. I shoot with confidence. And accuracy. And I kick ass (peacefully, of course) on every game. And so do my teammates. My team will win all of our matches, and we will win the entire tournament, too. Why? Because we want to go to Las Vegas, and we are going to make it happen. Vegas will be a wonderful, worthwhile experience for all of us. I've only been to Las Vegas once before, and if you remember, IM, I had the flu, so I couldn't even eat at Patrick Swayze's famous all-you-can-eat gourmet buffet restaurant. This yogini will be most grateful, appreciative and thankful for your guidance and for wins throughout the tournament this weekend. When we get to Las Vegas, I will happily donate any and all of my blackjack winnings to charity. Now I am not judging other people's choices in saying so, IM, but I am pretty certain that most other pool players would not make a vow like this about Las Vegas. The place could benefit from a person like me, wandering about the casinos and covertly sending healing and loving vibes to many people who really could use it. So you see, not only does my team want this win. I want it also, for myself and for the greater good of the universe, too. Thank you for guiding me and my team to the win at Citywide. I am most grateful, IM. Humbly yours. Hari om tat sat! ~claude. (Image shamefully borrowed without permission from www.willemswebs.com/album/india/index.htm )

the eye of the beholder

Claude — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 17:51:10 GMT

Can't say I've ever looked at myself quite this way, but here I am - imagined in pencil by a dear old friend. I stumbled across the image in his online gallery, and had forgotten I've got the original right here propped up in a remote corner, waiting to be rehung after all my home construction. This and other strange reconnections today are showing me how seamlessly the Internet truly interweaves with the rest of life by helping us access more of it at once, if we're focused that is. And I am seeing how powerful "virtual" energy is -- and how it can propel "real" life elements to come full circle. Artwork (c) Shawn Eshelman

chaos, teachers and asking for what we need

Claude — Tue, 12 Jun 2007 21:26:04 GMT

For the past few months, I've been stuck in a serious writers block on my novel. What started out as a complex but seemingly orderly story has exploded, imploded, turned on its head and come back up breathing on its own, like a nine-headed monster that started out as a kitty cat. Wha? Where am I? Whose novel is this? This doesn't match my outline. Where the hell did that character come from? Chapter 5 is supposed to be about the son, not on the grandmother. Who the fuck IS she anyway? Why's she in my book? Terrifying experience. And all part of the novelist's path I'm learning. This fear's had me crippled for months and I've made no headway on breaking through it. Until today ... when it finally struck me. Ask for help. So I did, and my amazing, gun-loving, encouraging thesis reader, Pinckney Benedict, came to the rescue. He said, "The stage your work is in sounds - though chaotic and stressful - extremely fruitful to me, and just the moment for you to dive in with a whole heart. When the work begins to puzzle and surprise us, in the way that a person can - that means it's coming alive, and it's the best possible event." Wow did I need to hear that. Just like a person. I guess that's what happens with people when you chuck all expectations. They can truly come alive for who they really are, which is the most beautiful thing that can happen. So I don't need to steer the ship. I just need to hang on and go wherever the story wants to go on its own. Follow and listen. Let go. Allow. Ahhh. What a relief. The best part: I'm going to do a week-long novel workshop with him soon, and he's agreed to privately critique my entire manuscript after that! I feel like I'm back on track, or at least on my way to actually writing again. I'm grateful for that gift today and also the much-needed reminder: It's amazing what we receive when we simply ask. Illustration (c) Timothy Lang