I ham so glad zat Socker eez baxxx! I feareded shee had beeen maydeth eentou ze monkey. Zat darned Socker! Gotta fluff herr spunk.

He WILL speak his mind.
He WON'T kill your buzz on purpose.
He WILL stick with you through thick and thin as long as he can remember that's what he's doing at the moment.
He WON'T put up with not getting what he wants - just give him some rum and he may settle down if you're lucky.
He WILL love you with a heart of gold.
He WON'T ever remember his keys, which is why he has a doggie door wherever he crashes.
He WILL try any extreme sport at least 10 times.
He WON'T pay anybody for anything.
He WILL throw himself in front of a bus to save you if he's had enough to drink!