joined on 02/26/07
last updated 07/20/07
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about me
i'm a girl trying to have fun and make the world a better place. i am fiercely loyal to those that are close to me. i wouldn't hesitate to take down, you and your friends. i like little, pretty things, particularly if they are little boxes or functional things, are overlooked and lost, or are just made of pretty smoothness like ocean washed pieces of blue glass. i like the sharp sensation of pain that makes me know i'm still alive. i enjoy the sight of my blood. Passion and sensuality are the things that move and consume me. i can be savage and soft. i am a jungle queen like Julie in the outback. i was called a combat faerie for a reason.
i am [like] a cunt, i have layers upon layers.
Realizations
(blog entry)
1. My deepest, most driving desire is for companionship that lasts forever
2. When i have cut myself, in addition to the reasons i normally say, i have done it to cut out the part of me that desires beauty, that is beautiful, that wants any sor...
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Let me also say...
(blog entry)
that i think i might be something akin to bipolar. i've never been diagnosed and my bouts of therapy have largely been only semi-consensual and for wholly other things. i'm not sure what bearing this actually has on my life, but i thought it goo...
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My sister
(blog entry)
recently told me she thinks i am self-destructive. This was in response to me admitting feeling this dark desire to have someone who has STI's put their fingers inside themselves and then in me. i haven't deciphered all of why yet. At first i w...
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it’s been a long time, long time now, since i’ve seen you smile...
(blog entry)
My emotional life most closely resembles a roller coaster. Some moments i feel immensely happy and like i'm flying and others i feel drained of everything excepts dreams of razor blades. Listening to depressing music when i feel dreary is probab...
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Life lately...
(blog entry)
Is amazing in many ways that do not include this f-ing computer. i am so annoyed.
i have been trying to write a blog for an hour now. Twice it has been eaten by the computer. i give up.
The near future is a time of drawing in and witchy t...
read more
1. My deepest, most driving desire is for companionship that lasts forever
2. When i have cut myself, in addition to the reasons i normally say, i have done it to cut out the part of me that desires beauty, that is beautiful, that wants any sort of connection and closeness. i don't want to feel. i haven't wanted to feel my emotions and so that gets translated into physical pain which i can bear or at least flinch away from. Emotional pain becomes physical which i can control, which i ca...
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that i think i might be something akin to bipolar. i've never been diagnosed and my bouts of therapy have largely been only semi-consensual and for wholly other things. i'm not sure what bearing this actually has on my life, but i thought it good to note. That being said, life is grand and i am thrilled with most all of existance.
Sat, October 27, 2007 - 1:38 PM
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recently told me she thinks i am self-destructive. This was in response to me admitting feeling this dark desire to have someone who has STI's put their fingers inside themselves and then in me. i haven't deciphered all of why yet. At first i was hurt and offended, especially at the way she didn't even listen to me or help me think it through, but rather just telling me roughly that it is stupid and she would give me no support if i did get something that way. This in no way stops my desi...
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My emotional life most closely resembles a roller coaster. Some moments i feel immensely happy and like i'm flying and others i feel drained of everything excepts dreams of razor blades. Listening to depressing music when i feel dreary is probably not the best idea but fits the mood nicely. i don't really feel like giving my soul over to the internet when life is going swimmingly so you can guess how i feel currently. i guess it at least means that i have been doing wonderfully since last...
read more
Is amazing in many ways that do not include this f-ing computer. i am so annoyed.
i have been trying to write a blog for an hour now. Twice it has been eaten by the computer. i give up.
The near future is a time of drawing in and witchy things for me. Friends come find me and settle in and nest as the seasons turn darker and colder.
Soon i will be in Philly and Asheville. Let me know if you want to see me while i am out that way.
Sat, September 22, 2007 - 3:35 PM
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! Critical Grunge,
*queer poly*,
Bike Pirates,
Bohemian Carnival,
Church of Holy Strawberry,
CIRQUE BERZERK,
dumpster diving,
EarthFirst!,
EduKink - Eat N Beat - August 21,
Fire,
Gender Queer,
Gothic/Industrial Bellydance Sale/Swap,
Oakland Dykes and Queers,
Pansexual,
Poly radicals,
Primal - September 20,
screwup: BDSM for trans & queers,
SF Bay Women's BDSM Parties,
SF T-girls and Friends,
SFBay Girls Who Wanna Meet girls,
...
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