Life Lessons and Other Observations.....

Your religion?

Richard — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:55:30 GMT

1) Jews don't recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2)Protestants don''t recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3) Baptists don't recognize each other at the liquor store or Hooters.

lending money

Richard — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:42:36 GMT

If you lend someone $20 and you never see them again. It was probably worth it.

criticism..

Richard — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:36:35 GMT

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his or her shoes. That way, when you critcize them, you are a mile or so away and you have their shoes..

Snowmen......

Richard — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:29:57 GMT

.fall from heaven unnassembled....

nudists

Richard — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:22:05 GMT

Why is it that most nudists are the ones you don't want to see naked?

Vegetables...

Richard — Mon, 25 Dec 2006 07:14:20 GMT

If carrots are so good for the eyes....how come I see so many rabbits dead on the highway????

Another Record broken!!!!!!!!

Richard — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 03:04:30 GMT

Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I have stayed alive.

I am

Richard — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 02:56:06 GMT

I am a nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore I am perfect.

If life deals you...

Richard — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 02:46:16 GMT

If life deals you lemons...make lemonade. If it deals you tomatoes...make bloody marys. But if it deals you a truckload of hand grenades....now THAT'S a message!!!

Flying...

Richard — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 06:47:03 GMT

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Sometimes

Richard — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 06:37:52 GMT

I live in my own little world. But it's ok, because I know everybody there

Your Family...

Richard — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 06:35:33 GMT

...will not always be there for you. Of course, if you win the lottery, the hag, the philanderer, the screw up, the missing one, and the horse tooth girl will all be there for you.

Go easy...

Richard — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 17:09:23 GMT

You cannot force someone to love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

Be kind.

Richard — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 16:52:54 GMT

Be really nice to your friends. You never know when you will need them to empty your bedpan.

Blank Tape

Richard — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 16:41:53 GMT

I once played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went crazy!

Here to help?

Richard — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 16:35:20 GMT

If it's true that we are here to help other people...what are the others here for?

Our US Postal Service

Richard — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 06:31:10 GMT

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do...write to them? Why don't they put their pictures on the stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver?

Why Not?

Richard — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 06:21:55 GMT

If lawyers can be disbarred, and clergymen defrocked....doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

I am...I said

Richard — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 06:12:59 GMT

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. "I do" is the longest.

Pigs

Richard — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 06:07:40 GMT

If a pig loses its voice, it become disgruntled.

??????

Richard — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 06:01:17 GMT

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Whacked?

Richard — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 05:53:22 GMT

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

I am Polish, by the way

Richard — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 05:52:12 GMT

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?

diarrhea

Richard — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 03:31:24 GMT

If 4 out of 5 persons suffer from diarrhea...does that mean there is one person who enjoys it?

The hereafter

Richard — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 03:30:14 GMT

Sometimes I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter. I go somewhere to get something then spend time wondering what i am hereafter.