ak! I been tagged!

Random thoughts:

1.Trees are really cool. There is a pattern to their branches' spacing that allows them to breath the correct amount of oxygen for the size of tree.

2.I have recently become my own best friend.

3.I wonder if the person who invented ketchup ever thought that it would become a) as popular as it is, 2) according to some daycares; a food group, and p) a reason for fries to be invented.

4."They" aren't as smart as they think themselves.

5.The best form of zen meditation, in my opinion, is to pick a subject and study all the shapes that are in it, lights, darks, colours, lines.

6.Note to self: stop talking to yourself. Well, that might be OK, just don't talk back. OK, talk back but just don't argue, that's a sure sign of insanity....

because I said so, that's why...


no, YOU're dumb.

7.I am incrementally 1/18, 8/9 and 3/4 away from being an empty nester and it terrifies me.

8. I'm dangerously close to not caring about a lot of things.

9. I've recently been called a 'fence pacer'. I thought I was a fence walker (not sitter, you see, clever me, but no, this person disagrees, thinking...ok, knowing me better than that). I'm alright with this task, as I think it's necessary for some in this world to be able to see both sides of every story, and perhaps live a little of each. Besides, fence walking was one of my absolute favourite passtimes when I wasn't afraid to fall off.

10. Aqua.

I quite my job to become an artist

I'm finding that's the weirdest statement to ever have come out of my mouth. Who in their right mind would quit their regular paying job to become an artist? Anyway, it's done. The messy business of telling my employer, who's sweet and has always been there for me ( a little too much, at times) that I'd give him some time to find someone, and give him the name of one potential school bus driver, is all but over. I'm helping the new gal figure out my route, the kids and the paper work, and then?

Three things inspired me. One, that a friend, of 30 years passed away of cancer, in what I think of as the height of her life, last April. I've had such a strong sense of "life's too damned short" ever since the onset of her 1 1/2 yr sickness. It's sort of a tribute to her life, which albeit was too short, but very full.

Two, the job I had was a job. Some advise that one should not let your job define you. I agree with that, if one has a job that they don't necessarily like. I, personally would like to define my job, then allow it to showcase who I am. With the CSA, I've taken a fairly simply framework of a concept, and built exactly what I want in it. I couldn't do that with school bus driving. There were 3 things I was in control of, the wheel, the seating plan and what music we listened to. The rest is up to the students, parents, weather, dept of transportation and my boss.

Three, I really opened myself up for the past year to finding something else. All my adult life, I've had people say I should pursue art, I've wanted to, but really, it is a bit of a crap shoot, isn't it? I've been looking hard at each opportunity outside the art world (and there have been many in these 'good times') and throwing them out, knowing that I'd be unhappy again, I'd have settled. This summer, tho, I've had nothing but art ideas and offers thrown my way. They haven't dropped in my lap, by any means, but all I had to do was suggest, and boom! another chance produced itself.

Now, add to that, the fact that I've taken a true look at the $ I'm making driving and laugh to think that it mattered much. It won't be such a leap to think I could make at least that much with art.

So, the "then what?" question is answered. The list of possibilities is endless, really, but for now there's quite a wonderful array of things that came up. Whilst grocery shopping, I ran into the principal of the elementary school my kids went to. I asked if she was still going to be principal, and she asked if I was still driving. My answer was "Yes, I guess, until I'm not. I'd rather be teaching art", to which she replied "well! Then you should write up a proposal. What do you want to teach? Painting? Drawing? How much time would you need? ". Ha. That easy.

Then, there's the commission job that I simply asked if I could do, and was blessed with an affirmative answer. It's a mosaic back splash. A rooster.

The other things are murals in both a greenhouse bathroom and a gym, the creative end of a business with a friend who wants only occassional work now, of designing and building children's bedrooms, a consignment location, teaching workshops to the women out where I live, on things like mosaic stepping stones, drawing classes for kids, and workshops on maskmaking for teens.

Life is good.

I'm loopy.

That's what child # 3 says. She said it in that tone that says "but I still love you". I've been wondering if it was just me that thought I was going a bit soft. The summer schedule I run is absolutely nuts. I don't think that's what she was talking about, but perhaps it's what causes the rather bent mentality I run on of late. Good thing my family still loves me, grin.

Last week, I had a work party of 9 come out to do their weeding. I feel obligated to be out with them; in part because they might end up pulling a row of something useful, but also because it's my business. That was Fri night til 9 pm. On Sat morning, we had 5 am rondezvous with our friends to butcher our chicks, and a work party of 4 at 9 am to weed. Then on Sun another 5 am rondezvous to butcher chickens at the friends' house. It's been stinkin' hot, so we wanted to get the butchering done before the heat set in. I'm glad, too. We got 25 chickens/day done by 10:30 am.

That darling daughter of mine is a bit loopy herself. She LOVES butchering. We found that if one puts a bit of dawn in the dunking water, it destinkifies them a bit, so that eliminated the only thing she didn't like. She feels she's particularily good at getting the lungs out whole. I have to admit, there was a bit of pride in me when I saw her sneaking up to the squeemish girl with a chicken foot and placing it on her shoulder. She's got a bit of her mother in her. For some reason, the other girl didn't talk to her much for the rest of the day.

Today, the day after delivery day, is sort of my day off. I took some cold cuts. olive cheese bread, and tomatoes w/basil, garlic, olive oil and balsamic vinegar to my family, who're staying at the lake. left them all there after a nice chat with my Dad. Didn't sleep well, as it was hot and a 2 am thunderstorm and glorious rain (it's been dry) announced itself quite loudly til about 4:30. I found myself propped on the couch at about 6 this morning, water glass in hand. I guess I fell asleep watching the lightning show. So, today I just hung out. Went and watched the zucchini grow for a bit, tidied my kitchen, and read.

Sort of giggled a bit when I realized that the reading I'd done was bouncing between my new obsession, permaculture design book, and online info for what ails my tomatoes, to a common weed book of Alberta. Then, a friend called to ask if her garden was OK (I think I recognized the somewhat subdued excitement as she asked if the peas were ready, and if the squash was supposed to be on the vine already). It's all about growing things, even on my day off! Ah, I guess it gets in the blood.

Delivery, focus of intent and a paranoid mamma

The delivery went alright. As usual, adding new aspects always need the kinks worked out. Because of the increase in #s of shares and the fact that I'm still only one person (daym!) it took a lot longer to pick. To add to the rush, #1 son was finished his exam right in the middle of the picking so I had to interrupt to run and get him. Good news is that he and his buddy helped. Bad news is, it wasn't enough time even with the extra hands. Good news is (didn't we already do this part?) I got a spare driver. Bad news is (ahem) I forgot to pick the arugula. I haven't received any irate phone calls so I'm assuming I'm forgiven. Next week they'll get double the arugula. The borrowed trailer made me wish I could buy one. Alas, my little company can't afford it this year. The owner of the trailer is a great guy, and wants to let me use it whenever I want. Says he'd like a bag of carrots. Grin. I'll be paying it forward.

Focus of intent. This one's been big in my life of late. I've been asking myself "what, if anything, are you going to do about people in your life who're, well, toxic to you?" And, "What direction do you want to go with your work? You're not getting any younger, you know". That last one kinda bugs me, who the heck does that voice think it is, anyway?

So, intent. hmmm. I want to focus it on something, but am totally undecided in both the above aspects. Rush's 'Freewill' says "...if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice". Up until recently, I've chosen to stay in relationships that are costic for various reasons, not all selfish. Up until recently, I've toyed with finding other work, but none seems any better than the job I have. There's stuff I'd like to do, but don't think gallavanting around the world is conducive to raising a family, at least not in the way we've chosen.

I think what needs to happen is I need to focus on the outcome, and the focus itself becomes the intent. The outcome doesn't have to be so specific, as to dealing with individuals (after all, this sort of smacks of washing one's hands of someone), but perhaps the outcome I desire is to have peace and good people in my life. And the work; my outcome there could be that I follow the most perfect path for me, that I find, in small ways or big, where I will best benefit this world.

There's paranoia afoot. My # 2 son (most like me, I'm told), is a good kid. Active in extra curricular activities, good marks, mostly respectful, loving and nuturing. So, the other day, he asks me "How come you don't let me drink?" That got me reeling. I was glad to have been facing forward while driving. My answer was about 1/2 hour long (YAWN). Because I love him. Because he's at a tender age. Because I knew, personally, several people who were killed or badly hurt because of drinking. Because I want to give him other options. Poor kid. At least he's coming to me with this stuff. He wants to go to a party, where we all know they'll be drinking. So, what's my biggest, man? How come the prude in me comes out now? It wasn't there when I was his age. I don't know if he's asking me this to test to see what I'd do if he drank or if he doesn't want to and is looking for a scapegoat (he declined this and one other party on the pretense that I want some notification and he was asked last minute). If it's either, I'd better step up. We went to a movie instead, and I have other plans for future parties, (paintballing, swimming, golf, a party of his own), so hopefully I'm being a good paranoid mamma.

1st delivery! -chicken truck security- mac users

Tomorrow is the first delivery for '07. After equipping my truck with a hitch, buying 20 new totes, numbering them, and picking up a borrowed trailer today, I'm ready. First thing after am bus run tomorrow, I'll pick lettuce, radishes (provided they're not wormy), arugula, rhubarb, and bok choi. Rinse it all, seperate into shares and pop 'em into totes. By this time, C should be done his exam and I'll pick him and his friend up to help me pop the totes into the trailer and off we go. I hope the pick up processe was explained well enough. Oh, and I'll have to write an e-newsletter to send to all my members.


The rest of my 'in-between-time', between bus runs, was spent buying and trying to figure out the battery fencer (mostly with lots of @#$!) I'm using on the chicken truck. I'm not sure R attached it low enough, the Lily Dog pulled apart the bottom of the thing last year and he's got the electric wire about 1' off the ground. It makes a high pitched squeak every couple seconds, and I can't tell if she's driven mad by it, or if she's put off. she certainly doesn't want to go near it when I'm around. I'm going to have to monitor the wire on the bottom.

Hey, does anyone know how to put all the email addresses from one grouping in 'mail' on a mac into the bcc window? When I've done it in the past, some of the addresses, not all, don't transfer, just the names. So, I've been doing it one at a time, which is a royal pain.

Water and Lily and flowers

And I don't mean the type you'd find in a tranquil pond. This morning's mission was to count and wash out all the bins (23 shares X 2/share= 46 rubbermaid totes), set out all my barrels that were brought down from the barn loft and figure out where they and my 350 gal tank are going to go to catch what rain we get between now and dry season.

There are already 8 set up, with water flowing from one to the other on the south side of the house, 5 more sitting here and there amongst the gardens, and the remainder brought down, 6, I think, will go in the first garen plot (I really need to name them....the plots, not the barrels) and the 3rd. But for the time being, they'll sit beside my decrepit shed.

The bins will have to wait til after last bus run, I want to go buy goodies for my little kids on the bus, this will be their last day for this year. S'ok, tho, I'm all hot and sweaty from dragging the barrels and hoses around.

Now, for the matter of Lily. Otherwise known as the Lily Dog. She's 9, and so bordercollieish that she's just about lost her life several times to frustrated owners (us, I'm afraid, we've had her since birth). Dont get me wrong, she's part of the family and will always have a place, but dagnabit! (always wanted to say that but thought it might sound like I'm a toon) The girl gets herself into trouble! A couple weeks ago, I put the middle sized chicks (layers), out in the chicken truck. Lily stocked them. I know. she's just doing her job. But she's done it so well that she's ripped, with her teeth, mind you, the strong wire mesh around the chicken truck on three sides. She can actually get in there. This thing was built to be bullet proof (my dear husband), but not Lily Dog proof, I guess.

So, she's tied up. Not a dog line wise dog, is she. She manages to get looped, not once, but several times around anything left in the way. Yesterday, there was thunder and the poor dear shakes in her boots at this. When I finally realized it (she picks up on these things 2 hours before we do) and went out, she was so entangled in my two willow arbour walls (that have been sitting up against the barn wall for 3 yrs) that they fell on her and she was STU-Uck! I love my dog, I love my dog, I love my dog.

The flowers came from 3 sweet children on my bus who're moving. sniff.

"Red wigglies"

That's what the grade 5/6 teacher of our local elementary school called them when she phoned me and asked if I wanted their class project- a worm compost bin. I told her that I'd love the compost for my tomatoes, but already have a bin. After some begging I relented. We use lots of veggies and can use the compost. So, I offered to come in and show the kids how to seperate the worms from the compost, give them the full experience, from start to finish.

In I went, expecting a bin full of worms in the end, since they've had them the whole year. Shoulda known when teach said they'd been putting in their banana peels and using the finely shredded paper from the office (coloured). The few worms left were yellow and sickly looking.

But MAN! did they have fun. What a good project to do with boys. Actually, there wasn't a clean pair of hands on a boy or girl by the time we were done. We piled the soil on an opened garbage bag I brought in piles about 6" high. They were to skim the top layer off, handful by handful. By the time they were done, they were to have a pile of worms, because with each layer, the worms (who don't like light) crawl (slither? wiggle?) deeper into the pile. Mostly, the worms were sifted out by their fingers, cuz their priorities were differnt than mine. They wanted to find worms and eggs, I wanted them to have the delayed gratification of picking up a pile o worms.

The job got done in the end, and I'm babysitting the bin for the summer. Perhaps I can nurse the little guys back to health, or put some in there from my other bin if they don't survive. By fall, I will take it back to her class and gently suggest they not put poison laden fruit peels and dyes from paper.

Fun fun.

Green or not so green

So psychology interests me. I like those tests that tell you what type of person you are, whether it be super analytical, totally introverted, like to have your ducks in a row or chillaaaaaxed.

I've always thought myself an extrovert with a bit of intuitive. Today, after some discussion with someone who I know is intuitive, and at the very least, deep. He's a regional mgr of a mid-sized feed and fuel company, which sent him on a 1 month university course in Eastern Canada. The personality types was what they taught at the beginning of the executive something-or-other course.

We were talking not about this course, but about mosquitos. Everyone was giving me advice on how I could avoid being bitten whilst out in the garden. You know that email. No bananas. Yes dryer sheets. Yes deets.

"Pooh" says I. I eat a banana a day, don't do deets, nor dryer sheets and still don't get bitten. (I think someone should write a song based on that last sentence.) And all the people that were talking with us laughed, nodded and said "yeah, you're green", knowing full well that I'm a bit of an eco crusader (actually, they think I'm stark raving mad, with all my organics and save the trees nonsense) .

It took about 5 minutes for us to figure out that we (the first fellow and I) were talking about different subjects. He figures I'm a yellow. I rejected the idea, thinking he was saying that I've gone 1/2 dead (what self respecting green person would accept being called yellow, I ask you?).

Apparently, yellow means something along the line of Intuitive. Ha.

Blogging goooood.

K, so posting that I was feeling unmotivated motivated me. I just weeded 3 buckets full, and a quadrupal row of carrots. Fed it all to the layers.

ta da da dum!

Procrastin A-A-tion!

am bus run done (not late, as I was yesterday). Kids off to school, but not before E decided to leave my little chicken thief out (the Lily Dog), and so I waited the bus for a minute so that he could tie her up. Chickens fed (all 3 bunches of them: old layers in the coop, young layers in the chicken truck who're too small to put in with the older ones...next week, and the fat little meat birds who're eating me out of house and home). Dishes done. Water tomato babies (they're growing up) done.

That's it for productiveness, so far. Yesterday was good. I filled the gaps in the brassica crop rows with some I'd seeded into trays, and cut up all the toilet paper rolls I've saved (thinking of starting a SAVE THE TOILET PAPER ROLL! campagne, I need more) into 3rds and planted them around most of the brassicas to deter cut worms. Weeded the brassicas while I was at it. All this while it rained. But today, it's sunny and the birds are chirpy and I don't feel like going out there. What's up with that?

On the 'to do' list is counting the delivery bins for the CSA, going and buying what I need for bins, cashing a bunch of cheques that have finally come in (yay!), weeding, weeding, weeding, setting up the rest of my watering system, going over to a coworker's (another bus driver), who has a pup trailer for behind buses that he'll barter veggies with me for the use of it. I've even got my muddy pants on from yesterday.

Motivation is not the word of the day, I guess.