My Blog

The Power of Objects

Muldoon — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 03:22:32 GMT

I find myself, ever so slowly going through my "stuff", discarding things I've outgrown. I could say the same for the non-physical items I have no use for. Growing older has been hard, because memories aren't as easily kept neatly organized in a box. Even with photos, of treasured times, it is difficult to hang onto the year if it isn't put down in ink. I had this little round, silver keychain, with a can opener and knife, I had claimed from my grandfathers things. I kept it with me, but it went missing. Of course I don't need the object to remember all the walks and songs, etc: but it helped. Why are we so attached to objects? Are they markers for times of our life we wish to remember more than others. Souvenirs of our life and travels. It must be the reason we wear shirts from places, until they are falling apart. The reason we have trouble letting go of others or bad habits. Maybe we are all old dogs who have trouble learning new tricks. Maybe this very idea of becoming attached to objects, is the reason residual energies remain in places, long after life has gone on its way.

My baby is at the vet...again

Muldoon — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:31:41 GMT

Hannah got stopped up again the other day, not quite as bad, but noticeable. All the fussing she does when i hold her to get her to take the medicine has helped, least the meds were working, just not enough. I had one of the other vets today,she kept hannah and, my baby, is probably fussing alot. I have no idea how you give such a fussy feline an enema. I stopped on the way home to get some metamucil, I'll see if this helps, it seems to mix in well with the dry food. Switching or getting her to eat canned food has been impossible. I'm going to look for another dry food with higher fiber. Its weird not having hannah here right now, the vet could call before she leaves if hannah is ready or it might be a night without my baby.

Life and times of a travelling soul

Muldoon — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 05:35:44 GMT

I saw the Amway/Quixtar commercial again today, it serves as a reminder to me. Even though I walked away from the business, the ideas of the support system changed me forever. It was the catalyst of why i am still here, breathing, I mean that literally. I am not the same person I was in my late twenties, barely hanging on, guilt the only thing saving me from ending it. That is where this whole Plan B and peoples actions speak louder than their words, stems from. I found my pagan path because of the catalyst, because I was trying to get used to talking with strangers outside of customers from work. I stumbled into a metaphysical shop to try and do just that and found a whole new world. Here I am so many years beyond that, still looking at ways i can be prepared, never depending on the work place too much, keeping my debt down to a minimum and trying to grow a nest egg. I looked over the charts for oil a couple weeks ago and in conversation told a couple coworkers I thought oil prices would go down. They blew me off and went back to complaining, they do that alot. The petty two-faced rapport of my coworkers reminds me of every reason I keep most people at arms length. My life has been one change after another showing me paths most will never see, because they are afraid to walk alone, even if it could lead them to others of like mind.

Trip to the vet

Muldoon — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 15:09:09 GMT

Saturday evening, when I got home I, Hannah seemed constipated. I gave her a little goat milk and tried (tried to get her to eat some canned food). She loves the dry organic pet Promise, right now she has a mix of dry and wet. We just got back from the vet a few minutes ago, she all puffy from the fluids injected under her skin and i a tired father. Got some stuff i have to give her twice a day orally...not sure how miss fussy like that. The vet told me if that doesnt work we could go back in and give hannah an enema, that would mean a hospital stay. The vet told me hannah was not happy back where they had her and she was yowling, that's my girl.

Wanted

Muldoon — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 18:35:03 GMT

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=35145264 Here is the link to the new Wanted trailer. I didn't see it on YouTube so had to go with just this link.Enjoy.

Butterfly Shade

Muldoon — Wed, 21 May 2008 01:34:27 GMT

I thought I would post this publicly, go look, rate it and just enjoy it, like I did. http://picture.com/display.asp?ID=2268062

Walking the walk, not talking the talk

Muldoon — Sat, 17 May 2008 03:40:41 GMT

I'm all for, speaking your mind in situations in work place politics. I have talked about seeking another job if what you are doing doesn't suit you, this is more a perception of happiness. Back in my twenties, the work ethic and intiative were brought out of me, in the army. Lessons of growing into a man or maybe just a pride in my work, realizing early on my work reflects how I am percieved by others. Even if they don't find themselves calling me friend, they still respect me for my work. Why do I bring this up? It is a topic that among a small group at work, have been bringing up. We all agree that our work speaks for itself. If one complains about not getting something that others get, maybe looking at oneself would be much more the move they should take. Alas, we know this to be a dream world, for not many can see this. Perform and you shall be rewarded, not the other way around. I am very comfortable setting my self-worth, keeping myself out of the drama can be hard, but is possible with a little effort. I had a coworker, one I've mentioned in other blog entries, who told me tonight I should put my foot down. This came about today, one of the brand new people was in my "assigned" seat. I asked my supervisor about it, The new guy was sitting there to get training fomr the guy I sit next to, no top of that we are having classes for new software, so we are a little thin. I told the guy he could use my headset while he sat there, if he wanted and moved back into the other area (where i work in the venings). It wasn't a big deal. We use Nextels along with some texting to the guys in the field. There i was, all the programs i need open and I ended my night with four or five Nextels sitting around me. Do the job the best you can, walk the walk before you talk the talk. If all you have is the talk, well.... When a few are working away and the talkers are doing just that, talking, it makes me angry when ignorance comes to me and opens his or her mouth and tries to tell me what to do or what they percieve me to be.

Humbled

Muldoon — Mon, 05 May 2008 05:24:14 GMT

A week ago, I was told I had a new seat at work. I was pissed and calmly tried to get a reason from the powers that be. "How dare they move me!" Hindisght is 20/20...now, it wasn't a week ago. I had developed a chip on my shoulder and bought into the drama around me. Believe me there is quite of drama, driven by ego, around work. Outside i could tune it all out, but being inside, I got a little lost. I have tried not to suck up the energy of my environment, but as i develop along my path I catch myself sliding a bit. My humble, solitary outlook got murky from my surroundings. I can see the forest for the trees now, looking back at the past week. I was moved from a very drama, loud energy filled room to one of quiet, where I could do what I'm supposed to during the hours before lunch. The evenings I am back where i was before to cover the other part of my job. One of the people I am seated by has shown me a few new things in just the last week. I look at all the positive things from being moved and brought back down off my pedestal. It wasn't a slap in the face (like I had taken it ) but a needed change to help me strengthen my skills. Funny how some things are for the better, once we get over ourselves.

changes

Muldoon — Sat, 03 May 2008 04:45:59 GMT

I've gotten to a new point...again. I really haven't blogged much. Work is okay, but I think more and more about what I want my life's work to be. I'm not unhappy with what I'm doing right now...better than the eighteen years at the other position. I've had an account at one of the free dating sites, recently resurrected after Valentine's day...looking for an equal. I think I am ready to move on from that whole thing. if "she" is out there, I don't think she is there. I might not even find her in this lifetime, I'm okay with that. I look towards the future and find it easy to plan my life alone...as long as I don't have to live too long lol. I have that need to try and seek out local pagans, people I can relate to and not feel like I have to hold my tongue. I miss a sense of community only likeminds can bring to the table. Traveling across the country, must have stirred this up, standing on the rocky shor or Juneau, listening to the silence and looking out at the world. It was much simpler that the world of egos at work. Everyone gulping down air...all 73 mouths in out department... I drank some ale this week, but it feels almost like the last I will ever drink. All it did was make me feel tired and cloud my mind of potential experiences my senses might pick up. Besides a bottle of wine for cooking, I think I am done. I like the clarity i have and the potential it brings...even if it freaks other people out. I say this because i mentioned something that seemed so clear in my minds eye to a person i was communicating with. Even masking it a bit, it seemed like it was "one of those" odd "true" things that might freak the wrong person out. Oh, well.

A joke from Daniel

Muldoon — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 04:25:33 GMT

Daniel was an elderly man in a wheelchair I met, durning a day wandering downtown Juneau's streets. He had this big laminated card, I never got a chance to read it, but can imagine what it said. I am processing the experiences of my trip and little bits comes out and make me smile. This is one of those. i was meandering along the sidewalk, right by the Alaskan Hotel. Daniel stopped me and asked if i could spare some change. Now, normally, here at home i would have said no, but I was feeling a little generous (or just the expense of eating in such a place with high prices). I dug out some coins and was about to move on, when Daniel stopped me. "Want to hear a joke?" he asked. I said sure. "This fish swam into a wall. What did he say?" I grinned and asked,"What?" "Damn" said Daniel. I laughed so hard, with the double meanig and all. I knew I had to share this with others. Damn lmao

My Alaska Trip

Muldoon — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:13:09 GMT

I have learned somethign early on about taking the train, you can't set your watch by them. On the night/morning I was to leave on the first leg of my trip, the two hour delay was no surprise. I did do the math in my head, hoping I could get to Chicago O'Hare to catch my flight to Seattle. You might be wondering why I chose to take the trouble of going this way, it was cheaper, the other alternative was to make 100 stops just for a cheaper rate. I like the train so, train to plane was pretty easy. I got to the airport too let to check my bag, so had to say bye bye to my shampoo, I hadn't put it in a plastic bag, but hadn't planned on carrying it on. That sucks, but can't fight it. When I got on the planes I wondered if the seats hadn't gottenn smaller and spaced closer since the last time i had flown. From Seattle, we jumped from Ketchican to Sitka, to Juneau. I could feel the four hour difference by now, it was like 7pm when i got to Juneau, but 11pm in Ohio. Got my rental car, one of the last ones, of the four rental companies Avis had a couple left. During the travelling I chose not to try and stay at the Juneau hostel just because I was feeling tired. I would have to get up early (to them) and leave a bed i might not be ready to. The Juneau hostel closes during the day from 9 to 5. I had info on other hotels, first choise was full...I ended up in an overpriced but nice hotel downtown. Juneau is a nice place, quaint with this urban feel all its own. It is expensive to eat, I thought I would go broke just trying to keep my belly full. It is definitely tourist driven, until you get out of town and see some of the places we all have, the McDonalds, Home Depot and Walmart. My favorite parts of my trip to Juneau, were standing on the shore or out in the unpopulated areas, it was so quiet, no loud car stereos. The people were friendly everywhere I went. I only saw one person talking on a cellphone and that was way out at Fred Myers (its like walmart). The trip home, wasn't too bad. Flew back into Seattle. Caught the bus to downtown Seattle and walked the couple blocks to the Green Tortoise Hostel. My first ever hostel stay... I'm not sure how to describe it. Checked in got my keycard for my room, that I shared with seven other guys, bunkbeds. I had to ask a few questions, like, the bathrooms are across the ahll from the rooms right? Yes, three full bathrooms we got share between like 24people. One of my roomamtes was from japan, he introduced himself. I got there kind of late so locked up my stuff went down to Johny Rockets for a burger. Then I got myself to bed, pulled the curtain and slept pretty good, despite the snoring of someone in my room lol. In the morning I grabbed some fruit, checked out and headed to the wrong bus stop. I haven't ridden the bus much in my life, so thought I got off here I should be able to get on here...No. I had to go a block over, still got to the airport on time. Now I show how much i stumble around when i go to new cities. I got myself on the Blue line in Chicago to head back down to Union Station, but it helps to know what stop to get off on(on my way out i got spotty directions so took a taxi). i rode the blue line around and listened to the machine voice. I thought it had said Amtrack and regional transfers before so waited until i heard that again and got off. That was my trip in a nutshell, pictures alot more of the story.

Juneau bound

Muldoon — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 23:44:14 GMT

One week of work to go before i get to travel. I can hardly contain myself, that nervous excitement that comes from heading out to some new experience I have never done before. I tell people or they hear that I'm going. I've gotten alot of this question,"are you going with anyone?" uh, no, just little 'ole me. It seems odd to people when I tell them i'm not taking a cruise, because they also ask if I know anyone there...no, but I never dismiss the chance of meeting new people. For example, on my trip to Philly, I talked for a while with a couple people on the train. We humans are funny creatures of habit, with ideas of the sky and the end of the world. The sky isn't falling and there might be serpents at the edge of our flat world...but wouldn't be nice to see if the rumors are true?

Greatness comes to those who take it

Muldoon — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:49:08 GMT

Words to live by. Watched the trailer for the upcoming movie Mongol linkage http://www.mongolmovie.com/ Enjoy.

Just a bit of Poe for this late hour

Muldoon — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 05:01:27 GMT

But the raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing further then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered; Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before; On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." Then the bird said, "Nevermore." I find that we could all probably relate. I sit here with my tea, wasting time watching and listening to songs on YouTube, thinking more than I should but less then i did many years ago. Cheers!

Future travels

Muldoon — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 05:11:26 GMT

Got my reservations for the Juneau trip paid for. I find myself getting that nervous fluttering feeling I always get when I embark on some new journey. It keeps me off kilter enough to grow and take meout of my comfort zone I so easily slip into. New cities along the way, await my adventurous heart, Chicago, Seatle and of course Juneau. Mid-April, just before tourist season for Juneau. I worried about having enough to do, with finding some of the things i wanted to do won't yet be open, but as i go through everything that will be open and available, i will be busy. It all gives me a reason to return, at the very beginning of May for another adventure.

You've been disconnected.

Muldoon — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 20:05:48 GMT

I wish i didn't need a phone, but besides the internet, it provides a form of communication. The days like today where i called off of work, sinusy and tired. I went to bed and woke back up with bad hair, looked at the clock and realised, if I were working I would still have six hours to go. If i didn't need the phone to socialize with family and lady friends i would surely disconnect it. It might make me move out to the country grow a long beard and raise goats (Lisa ;) ) not like lias could grow a beard, but her goats can.

A poet's heart

Muldoon — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 04:29:49 GMT

Weakened wandering hearts lost in propogation, Filtered thru layers of alcohol, feelings are submitted, hoping for approval. Various song s are played back, reminders of the past, but tributes to times much simpler. Life is saturated with alcoholic dreams of lands we can only hope to visit. Memories are enemies, rattle us with thoughts of failure. A poet's heart is never settled, just put at bay a while., at least for the moments of peace that come and go.

Something Shiney

Muldoon — Sat, 15 Mar 2008 03:50:29 GMT

I've tried to slow my heart, the beats pound away in my chest. Many years ago I slowed my heart upon a lover's request. Life has aged me since then, love has been away for many years. If you were mine, I would become the jester to make you smile. Given the chance, I would be the crow and steal your heart, Surely it has a value equal to gold. You have no idea the power you have over my wicked heart, waiting for a simple touch.

Damn, Im fat!

Muldoon — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:36:05 GMT

After I cahnged jobs, most of you know I changed my diet to healthier choices. I have lost a little of my belly, but my scale battery was dead. I decided to order the Turbo Jam dvds, got them. I was measuring and weighing myself this morning. My weight was 177lbs, Geesh! If I lost some of my belly, what the hell did I weigh before? 39" waist, no, enough of this, it has to change.

Hello?

Muldoon — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 01:56:35 GMT

During my travels south, I stayed at an Econo Lodge. I don't always sleep well in other beds, with mine all worn out just right for me. I kept waking up, with one difference, I swear I heard a woman's voice calling out hello. THe first time the voice woke me and moved from the door to the foot of my bed. There were two other times where the voice woke me but don't remember it calling out as much. If it were a dream, I could explain it away after the first time, but three times? And what of the other times i woke up? Who knows.

The Dark Forever

Muldoon — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 03:43:31 GMT

Chastised hearts have forgotten how to beat. I keep mine under the bed in a shoebox with other items, things that I find little use for. My heart only brings me pain so it can stay in the dark forever. That never ending void of nothingness, that gobbles up anything I wish to forget. Misery, calls to me like a siren from the rocks, come closer she says. There is love here, come closer, but the water freezes my exposed heart. My heart is only safe in the warmth of the dark forever.

Hush

Muldoon — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 15:23:25 GMT

I wait, counting the hours Soon, I will be loose on the road, travelling These hours in between are difficult Knowing it is coming, that i will be free Even for a short time, is maddening. It is a wonder i ever set roots in one place for so long Home isn't always where the heart is, but where family gathers. My mind turns to strangers i'm smitten with Could i find room to fit them into my busy mind? I think about having an other, but don't ever dwell on it I might have gotten too comfortable in my skin.

Monolith

Muldoon — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 03:23:58 GMT

I'm coming to find myself in a different light. Dealing with the dynamics of human interactions, with everything others bring th these moments. I have this coworker who actually told me I wasn't wrapped too tight, during a conversation talkign about raising kids. Did it bother me a little? Yes. Does it now? No. i am pretty thick skinned and have a deeper understanding of people at my age. I suppose i am a bit of a monolith, one of flesh, blood and energy. This very person who told me I wasn't wrapped too tight, seems to carry a bit of baggage towards caucasions, the more time I have to deal with him, the more it sneaks out. When, I carry no assumptions on color but on the person themselves and what they have to offer a friendship or working relationship. Life is so interesting and frustrating all at the same time. Even with the day in day out monotony of life, I watch the world around me move about, struggling. Some people continue to blame others for failures or truths from actions they don't take to control their own lives. It burns me up a bit, to hear people expect a hnadout or respect for a lack of action on their part. I guess this how a tree, the great monoliths of our world might see humans. Seasons change, and life is what we make it.

http://ohmygods.co.uk/strips/2008-02-05

Muldoon — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 01:38:17 GMT

thought i would try and post the strip this way from the previous post but todays

Oh my Gods

Muldoon — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 03:00:32 GMT

A coworker, who, wouldn't ya know it is also pagan gave me this link. He showed me the weekly comic strip that is posted. Hilarious, well for those who get the humor of the subject matter. he told me the people at work who didnt get it, laughed nervously after reading the strip. Linkage below: http://ohmygods.co.uk/strips/2008-02-01