I know that there is something in life that gives all of us that feeling of connectedness, that something that makes us whole and fulfilled. I know this, because for few fleeting moments in my life, everything was right with the world and I was there. This formless something which I am chasing now, if you could call it a chase. I don’t know where to look, what it looks like, or how to approach it. I liken this to a unicorn, just with the opposing problem. Everybody can describe a unicorn, but they have never seen it. Of course what is ailing me is just the opposite. Nobody can describe it, but everyone knows what it is.

I know a lot of us are looking for it in relationships. And, yes few find it there, but what I usually encounter are people settling, because they have given up. They are tired of looking for it, the exact puzzle piece that would complete them. Instead they take the current piece and band-aid and have it cover the hole. I am not ready to settle.

Naturally the other option is also being explored. I call it: There is a certain quality in quantity. I assume that the right piece will satisfy, complete and make me whole, but since I can’t find the right piece many pieces cycled through will give an approximation of being whole. One of my better friends is currently exploring this option. I don’t think that he is finding the piece that makes him whole, but he sure has a shit load off pieces come through his bed room. I say good luck hunting.

Frustrating, depressing, turning me into one bitter old turkey, but thankfully we are not that close to thanks giving.