Seems i spent a lot of time in theaters this holiday season. Here is a run down on the two movies I have seen in the last week.

Avatar--This movie looked somewhat ridiculous to me in the trailers and previews. Southpark even spoofed it as "Dances with Smurfs" which I found to be hilarious. And frankly the story is not all that original...calling it "Dances with Smurfs" is pretty spot on. The ecological message and native american parallels are heavy handed and delivered with out subtlety or ambiguity. Also, there have been accusations Cameron lifted the story from a previous sci-fi novel(la?!) in which a man that is crippled telepathically inhabits a native aliens body. All this aside...go see this movie in 3D!! The CGI is in the next dimension. I was thoroughly enthralled with the visual scope of this film. It was truly like an immersion in an alien world. The 3D heightened the effect while not stooping to cheap gimmicks as 3D sometimes can tend to (please note the Piranha 3D trailer for examples of gimmicky 3D that reduced the audience to laughter at the cheesiness.)do. The film flowed smoothly from start to finish, and although long, I did not find myself glancing at my phone for the time. Many times I had to stop and remind myself that the CGI characters were not real actors. This is the level of immersion created by this film. For that reason alone,you need to see Avatar.



This is the future of visual media. Not too much longer we will be inhabiting Avatars in video games and online in worlds as immersive as this one, and even more so. Real life will come to mean two different things. Already World of Warcraft, Second Life and similar MMORPG's have persons addicted to them and the scope of realism is not on the scale of Avatar. It is easy to see how recreation will move toward this type of visual and tactile experience(D-box seating). You may Experience any adventure in the safety of your home. Its an exciting and frightening thought.

Whereas Avatar was thought provoking and exciting on a variety of levels, I went into Nine having heard the music, but not really all too familiar with the original show. I am a self confessed lover of the spectacle of musical theater, tho by no means do i think it is all amazing. Nine, piecemeal is a collection of incredibly staged musical and dance numbers, interrupted by an unfocused film.

Although I found the music on the soundtrack to be engaging, the film cut up some of the songs with pointless dialogue thus destroying any impact the music could have had. The performances were well turned in, Day-Lewis, Cotilard and Cruz were particularly excellent...(Fergie in a non-speaking role, had the right look and attitude for the village whore Seraghina) Unfortunately they were not given a real opportunity to engage the audience with the full power of their performance, every time I was connecting with them emotionally the movie would switch to a musical number, or away from one.

Taken in pieces, the movie had the opportunity to be an emotional journey with a man learning to grow up as all his childlike dreams, passions and appetites explode in his face before the realities of a world that does not have room for adult children. Instead, like all people he must learn that to grow up, one has to discover what is truly important and live his life for those things.

Instead I kept looking at my phone for the time, the musical numbers distracted from the movie and vice versa. Overall, despite the hype, it was not a phenomenal entry into the movie musical genre. Buy and enjoy the soundtrack, skip the movie.

Well, Christmas was here and gone sooo quickly. It is amazing how exhausting the whole thing is, once you are past it. I am so happy to be able to sleep in today. I need it, but it kinda makes one more prone to lethargy. There is soo much that I really need to do. Like, laundry. LOL.

I am getting way burned out at work. Really feel so much of it is bullshit, but that could stem from the fact that I am emotionally drained by it. I have to rummage in my reserves to make it to that bright chipper person that I used to be at work.

I called the fam on christmas, I really do miss them. I will see them soon. Just a long way to drive for my one day off for christmas. Luckily Aric, and Anderson have been my de facto family, as they always are. We had a very relaxing holiday, opened gifts, etc.

Well, mostly relaxing. I started the day with drama. Woken up by it, in fact. I have come to a point in my life where I strive to minimize drama in any situation. Sooo, long story short...my trust was betrayed by one of my best friends. It was shocking and made me sick. I spent the morning sorting out a mess. Left me pretty emotionally exhausted for the rest of the day, and I am still feeling the effects.

I have to work through some things myself. I know that sometimes people think they are helping by being proactive, and they think they have your best interests at heart. Mix in an alcoholic haze and the best judgment calls are not necessarily made.

I have been so lazy this week, only two days at the gym. And, all the food...LOL. Back to sweating it out on Monday. Can't fall to far out of routine or iwill get really lazy.

On a personal note:

Its more a dull ache these days. It will never go away. But, its amazing how far you can come, with a little effort and discipline. I need to get more resolved and disciplined. If I have learned anything the last couple of days, it's that nothing is really free. You have to pay for everything you get. Its all about measuring the cost.

Well, I have to say that Thanksgiving at home was a nice bit of relaxation. It was just stress free to be with my family and cook and not worry about much of anything but making a great meal. I was reluctant to come back to Austin for a change. It says something when going hoem to see my family is considered a break in my world. It means I am dangerously close to a burn out. So, I am determined to get out of town very soon and just have a vacation of one sort or another. Back to Thanksgiving, brined and cooked the hell out of a Turkey, stuffing, taters, pies, green beans, etc. It was all very very tasty....love love love to cook. I got to see my grandmother, who is doing as well as can be expected. I still look at her and worry about the time left, but its out of my hands. So, I am trying to enjoy every second I can, that I get with her.

My birthday came and went. I am not feeling all that much older. It was a nice low key birthday. The only really notable thing that happened is that I had to fire a partner. That sucked. But, sometimes your hands are tied. I think the big lesson i am getting reminded of lately is that soo many thing are out of my power.

Some things are in other peoples courts. I cannot make others choices for them. I am learning to surrender. If I can't really affect things then why worry about them?

I can be miserable or happy, sometimes it really is a choice we get to make. I can let things get to me or I can shrug them off. So much of what we obsess about and worry over is all a matter of attitude. I refuse to be miserable. I will instead focus on the positive things, what and who I do have in my life.

I worry about John, he is having a rough time of it. For some, the holidays can remind them of family in all the wrong ways. With his grandmother ailing, and his family far away he is feeling a bit alone. I wish I could give him better answers. All i can do is trya nd be there for him.

Aric, Anderson and Natalie are all concerned with the job market at the moment. Either looking for a change or a job. Anderson finished his internships with two extreme experiences and just finished his huge senior project. Aric is interviewing to find a change. Natalie has had a lot of miserable luck and hopefully things turn around soon.

Lately have been having Seasonal fun, shopping for myself and others for Xmas. I also love that I got to go Ice skating recently. Its felt like such a cheery holiday. Horns are even in the National Championship!!!

I have not seen much of SP lately. He is busy with work and home life. He recently had interviews to obtain a permanent position, and hoping he gets it. He needs the job security and the extra money wouldn't hurt.

All in all thats life to now. I am a bit obsessed with Twitter at the moment and where once I was tweeting maybe once a month i can't go about an hour with out an update. LOL.

I am hoping to get to a live music show soon, am considering going to see Owl City this thursday. I need a lil acting out. Also can't wait for all the presents I got myself to arrive...YAY!!!!

Today was soo busy. Trying to get everything in order for the holiday. So much to settle before I get going home for Thanksgiving. I went almost all day just working, then a good workout...I will be missing the next couple of days because I will be home. I will try and get a jog in, but who knows if I will get there. Its been such a tough week, Work has been a bit unrelenting and I am feeling burnt out. Its been too long since I had a vacation. I also have my birthday next week. 29 again, how tragic to be stuck at that age year after year.



I got to go to the UT game which was incredible. I am soo hoping we get to the National Championships and Win it again!!! I wanna see the Tower lit up again!!! I also got to see the movie Precious. It was amazing. A breakthrough performance for most of the actors. Amazing stuff, and it ends on a pretty uplifting note.



I had a lot of time to think over the weekend...And I have some questions that i need answers to. I am really trying soo hard to not expect so much. It is just hard when I am stressed in other areas of my life to not have it run over into all areas of my life. I can get a little dramatic when I start to get stressed and anxious. I am trying to rein it in. I hate not being able to take things back. As careful as I am to control what comes out of my mouth most of the time, I can be cryptic and melodramatic at the worst times. I think sometimes its better that then saying things I will definitely regret. I don't know...things are so complicated. I wish I could just let it go, let it be what it is, let things be simple and as natural as I can. I keep trying. But, before I can go back to that simple place I do need to ask the questions. If it changes things, it changes things. I want it to change, and yet I don't. So afraid that I will lose everything I have gained in the last couple of months because I need to know for my piece of mind.



But I have been reminded today that things get better eventually. I keep trying and keep hoping.

I was going to write today, but I can't. Other people have said it better, so here is the sum of it, put exquisitely by Robert Frost





Ah, when to the heart of man

Was it ever less than a treason

To go with the drift of things,

To yield with a grace to reason,

And bow and accept the end

Of a love or a season?



—from "Reluctance" by Robert Frost