Hey all... not much to say... still alive so far. Every time I go back to a social site I havent been to in awhile,its always melancholy due to its never the same as it was...things are always changing. There are times of brightness and activity and then they go away and then it seems that the connections all decayed away and it seems hollow.Fri, June 10, 2011 - 3:17 AM permalink - 1 comment
hiya all, Im still alive. nothing much to say really. same ol' same ol'.Wed, December 22, 2010 - 12:30 PM permalink - 1 comment
Yeah,...college....Wed, September 9, 2009 - 3:34 AM permalink - 1 comment
I think I'm just going to drop all my classes. I feel rather unproductive at this time.
I can't keep up with the pace at which the Algebra curriculum is moving and the only other class left in my program is Intro to Paralegal.
I dropped the Eng.Comp class into the second week,after I seriously screwedup an assignment. I wont elaborate,it involved NOT remembering particular bits of info. needed to remind myself what all I needed to accomplish over a weekend period.
I ... read more
Slowly but steadily...took awhile to process them. I'll add more tomorrow.Sun, July 5, 2009 - 3:30 PM permalink - 5 comments
I'm fairly happy with them though. Some are a tad blurry.
I'm not sure if I will leave these on here for a long time.
Tomorrow the embarrassment will begin seeping in and I'll take them down hastily.
Yeah,I just changed some things around and rewrote some stuff basically.Sun, July 5, 2009 - 11:44 AM permalink - 1 comment
It is self explanatory.
I dont have much to say at this time here
.......I've been writing furiously among several of my groups that I havent been to in months.HAHA
I have a lot of photos to add. Update my personal pics and add some new sky and pet photos.
Some of the stuff I had written before just sounds so pretentious and vain now.
Well,okay I am very vain,I admit that.
geez,I was embarrassed about much of it.
So,I removed it. It was rather distasteful sounding to me.
I'm not really into spirituality things as intently for awhile now....or the way I go about spirituality has changed a bit,I should say.
All that just got shoved down the list of "Important Life Stuff" once I got obsessing about my gender expression and what i was going to do about it. It's rather all-consuming.
I just got rather bitter about why I am the way I am and why I have to be so screwedup.
What the hell did I do in my past life to deserve this hellish limbo life?
Or,why did I perhaps choose to be this way this time around? HAHA
I must be an insane entity or it was a reeeeeally serious and lucrative wager I made with someone to go into the material world and be like this. lol
Since starting the hormone (hrt) program,I've had some slight changes to the way I think.
Mostly the changes are related to sexuality and who I am attracted to.
I think the hormone therapy helps with feeling more confident in behavior and mannerisms.
It seems the HRT has only emphasized and strengthened traits and thought patterns I already had.
Overall,changing my hormone profile about,has basically trashed my libido.
Too bad,I kinda liked it. Ohhh well.
One good thing about that is I won't be wasting too much precious time musing about sex and eroticism.haha
I'm gay,bisexual,pansexual,..whatever I am. lol
I have had interests in metaphysics and ESP and the occult and "supernatural"and reincarnation concepts since I was young.
I always had problems dealing with "authority" and being one to follow unconventional ways.Non conformism was my guiding principle for a long time.
I would say that I did have some difficulties in dealing with my body;but,I felt like I was kinda "floating" inbetween gender mostly.
I didnt really ID with being male,and friends didnt understand me too well exactly.
I was too repressed to really understand what the deal was with me.
I have a ...uhm lets say "mashup" of sexual/gender traits physically, and also an androgynous mind/spirit state feeling mostly female.Its complicated.
I give this info. for the benefit of interested people so that they have some idea of what my motivations are, "where Im coming from" so to speak.
I like to try helping people when I can. I have concern for others and am fairly empathic to some extent.
Not practicing any certain spirituality. Abhor religiosity and ritual fairly much.
>Im a gemini(forgetting to get an entire chart done),
I am a Vata dosha,in Ayurveda and that seems fairly like the major percentage of how I am in respect to Ayurveda. It's much better to be more Kapha,methinks.
Things for people to do:
>Go and watch fireflies in the summer
>Go to a stand of flowers and listen to the bees
>Go out in the evening and watch bats flying
>Go listen to the frogs calling in the Spring
>Go out to the country at night and look at the grand galaxy and universe above.
>Stop and listen to the leaves of the trees in autumn,and notice all the different scents at that time of the year.
>Listen to the wind on a hilltop
>Go visit a real cavern system if you can.
>Go to the mountains and walk a trail up as high as you can go.
>Go out in a wheat field near harvest and listen to the seed heads whisper together
>Go out and listen to the rain falling in a storm,listen closely to the thunder and watch the lightning.
>Get quiet and close enough to butterflies so that you can see how amazing they are and hear their wings flutter when they fly.
>Go visit a big waterfall somewhere and concentrate on the sound of the water falling.
Feel the vibration of the force through the ground and into your body.
>Go visit a stand of old growth forest and see how big trees can really be.
>Go visit an American Bison range if possible and experience these great animals.
>Go visit a good Japanese gardens
You are not connected to Davi >*<Leelynwant to grow your network?
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