Mistakes are made

Wondering how to separate the wheat from the chaff. I met someone and he seemed to be gold... I was fooled again. All that glitters is not gold.

Reality Check

A friend sent me this today and I wanted to think aloud about it. First is what they sent me and below that is my rambling...

Real Men don't slap her around a few times and teach her a lesson...
Real Men don't say she's dumb, bitch or slut.
Real Men know she's a human being, a girl that deserves to be loved and respected. Not used and thrown out like a piece of trash.
A "man" should NEVER hit a woman.
And should never force his girl to have sex with him,
that's not something you do to the person you supposedly love.

Real men will love unconditionally, and want to keep that love forever.
Real men are proud to be with their woman in any situation, public or private.
Real men will be there when she has needs, and only you can comfort her.
Real men care more about their woman than about themselves.
Real men will support their women in all they do, share their dream, and revel in their accomplishments

And Real love is what Men and Women should want.

And now here is my random thoughts...

Somewhere I lost my way. I have repeatedly accepted men (and women) who do not respect me. Is my self-esteem really that low that I blindly take what people dish out? Why do I do this? I fall for those who talk a good game but to not act with the same intent. Words are beginning to have no meaning. Obviously this (male) friend wanted to show me not all men are like what I have experienced. I know this. I would have given up long ago if I didn't.

I also know I am not perfect and have made more than a few mistakes of my own. Do I set my expectations too low because I feel like damaged goods? More than likely. I accept too much crap and I forgive too easily. Where does one draw the line? When does it become too much? How do I figure this out? When do my mistakes make theirs acceptable?

My mom said I always see the diamond in the rough. Is this optimism or a flaw? I excel at seeing the good in people. Seeing the best side blinds me to the worst. At which point does the balance point tip? When does the bad outweigh the good? My line in the sand is not clear enough. How do people decide what is forgivable and what isn't? Is that part of what is broken with me? Yes it is.

I loved my parents and they did NOT set a good example for me. I set out on my own too young with little guidance and have been trying to figure out things ever since. I make terrible choices based on hope. I believe in people. I trust people. In return I get hurt. How does a person get hurt without becoming jaded? How do I keep my faith in people?

Some of what my friend sent is good reminders of what is not acceptable. Some seems like it is unattainable.

Fresh Start

Re-entering the dating scene again. Getting used to all the different online choices. This is all so different than it used to be. Used to be you had to get to know someone fairly well before seeing all they had to offer. I am not a prude by any means but a little mystery goes a long way to build desire.

Personality waa personality!

Result for The LONG Scientific Personality Test ...
ENTP - The Inventor

You scored 64% I to E, 42% N to S, 52% F to T, and 74% J to P!
The single word that describes your type is "inventor", and you belong to the larger group called rationals. You love to tinker with things and come up with new ideas. You are outgoing and curious with an insatiable appetite for knowledge. You have no real desire to lead, only doing so if there is no other way. 2% of the population share your personality type.
You are a flirtatious and energetic romantic partner, fun and engaging, always looking for something unusual to try. In your enthusiasm, you may make promises you can't keep. Your competitive nature and need to be perceived as an expert can be daunting to a romantic partner at times. You so enjoy the tug of a good debate that sometimes you act as if you don't take anything seriously. You are usually very supportive and helpful to your mate, but somewhat scattered and unable to devote your full attention there. You feel most appreciated for your great ideas, unusual perceptiveness, and ability to understand and communicate with people. You feel most appreciated when your partner understands your need for lots of social contact and your need to live life as spontaneously as possible.
Your group summary: rationals (NT)
Your type summary: ENTP

Compared to other takers

* 69/100 You scored 64% on I to E, higher than 69% of your peers.
* 48/100 You scored 42% on N to S, higher than 48% of your peers.
* 65/100 You scored 52% on F to T, higher than 65% of your peers.
* 88/100 You scored 74% on J to P, higher than 88% of your peers.

www.helloquizzy.com/tests/th...lity-test

Been on Vacation

Went camping for a week with close to 1500 of my friends... Had a pretty good time overall. I didn't overspend my budget, didn't get overly tipsy, and didn't cause any drama. Just had a laid back experience, only wish I had gotten out and had more fun.

My Birthday

I am going into New Orleans to wander the French Quarter today. I love old buildings and odd shops.

Addition: drinking on Bourbon Street... something called a hand grenade?

Traveling Again

Going to Mississippi for a week, next spend a few days in New Orleans to see some friends and celebrate my birthday, then to Arkansas to work for a friend for a few days and finally spend the weekend in SW Missouri before heading home.

Breaking the destination codes... Off to Gulf Wars, next spend time with the folks who own Odyssey Coffee, then help Drx organize his back stock of Calontir Trim, the Coronation of Belle and Anton.

Isn't the SCA grand?

Random Test results...

You Are a Blue Flower
A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance.
At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower.
And at other times, you are wise like an iris.
And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

www.blogthings.com/whatcolo...eyouquiz/

and...

What Your Favorite Color Purple Says About You:
Intuitive --- Seeking --- Creative
Kind --- Self-Sacrificing --- Growth Oriented
Strong --- Very Wise --- Rare

www.blogthings.com/whatdoes...tyouquiz/

and...

the bubble blower pose
Bubble Blowers live in a constant state of reinvention. They thrive on trying new things — foods, countries, careers — and their look is always changing (from mod to soup dragon to robot chic). This endless string of transformations would be disorienting if it weren't for the one constant in their lives: the reconnection they find night after night in The Bubble Blowers pose. The Bubble Blower is a Sea pose. Other Sea poses a Bubble Blower might explore: Cliffhanger and The Colon. The Bubble Blower is a classic Sea pose, meaning its focus is on symmetry and synchronicity. To deepen the experience of the pose, try playing the Mirror Game (sit knee-to-knee and maintain eye contact as slowly you move your hands, heads, necks, and midriffs in concert) in the hour before bedtime.

www.evany.com/sleeptest/

A friend in need is a friend indeed

So one of my closest friends is having a personal tragedy. Her father passed this holiday season. I met him a few times and he was a really nice guy. My friend is REALLY upset. I am rushing down to the OKC area to help her family through this time. The funeral is set for January 2nd. A hell of a way to ring in the new year.

When my dad died I was cut off from my friends and family. I was in a bad relationship and only had sporadic contact with my mom. Also the way my dad died there was no closure. There was no funeral, no wake and no services. Just he was around and then he wasn't. But knowing my childhood that isn't surprising how things ended for him.

I hope I can be the right kind of support.

Away for the holidays

Have a great holiday season and celebrate however you choose! Try not to get overly stressed. Enjoy the people around you. I know I will have to work at both...

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