So, I gave up...

being right about that.. and about a lot of things I thought I was cemented to..

What is showing up is the freedom to be loved and loving and the capacity to grant others permission to find me sexy.. :)

I had revoked that permission from the world a long time before I ever gained weight.. and I had made that mean so so much..

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I noticed I no longer have some impulse to stick my finger in that eye.. and people now get to see what they see..

What's Next

So it's still the first week of 2007 and I had a great e-convo with my friend kikiluv.. about the my occurring that the kinds of boys I like, don't seem to be plentiful or be attracted to me.. or both..

Right away there's a seeming to collage and give over to the gods.. I supposed I could tell the truth about that the way the world occurs to me in that regard makes my angry.. like it clearly shouldn't be that way.. it's wrong and I'm being punished..

bleck.. when is detention over..