I remembered something the other day. It occurs to me from time to time at random intervals.
And no, I did not win the lottery.

I want to write this not because someone pointed anything out, or because anything in particular happened.
It is just that from time to time I am blessed enough to remember that I am blessed.
I was considering the postings that I have put up and I realized that most of the consistent content has been
that of sadness and disappointment. I guess I feel the need to gripe.....

And that brings me to my point.

All things considered, I do not have a single thing to gripe about. What I have is fear. And that can be handled and
even changed. I would like to take a moment to express the blessings that have been bestowed up upon me.
These reasons are not necessarily in order.

I am blessed because I have met so you (either in person or on line.)
I am blessed to have had some super wonderful conversations with some of you.
I am blessed because I have been given the opportunity to have a second family. (all of you)
I am blessed because the people I have met here have treated me with kindness and love. (you accept my silly side)
I am blessed because I know if I was EVER in serious need, I would have a place to turn.
I am blessed because I have been in a position to return that need.
I am blessed because I have a home, a car, a computer, a phone, etc. All of which help me keep in contact with my family.
I am blessed because Sadie was my cat and Mark was my brother.
I am blessed that my parents are who they are, and even if we don't get along, without them, I wouldn't be who I am now.
I am blessed that I have been imparted with passion and enthusiasm.
I am blessed with (for the the most part,) good health, intelligence and clear skin.
I am blessed because I will always land on my feet.
I am blessed because I have the ability to speak my mind, even if at times I lack finesse.
I am blessed because I can read and write.
I am blessed because I have the ability to convey these thoughts to you all.

This list could continue. I just wanted share the basics.

I thought it was time to write something cheerful. I really do have to admit to myself (when things look down), that my "down" isn't
even anywhere NEAR the problems that a lot of people suffer though. Technically,.... I have it made.

If I really take all this in, and really look at "My problems", "MY issues", "MY fears".
I need to admit to myself that I really, honestly, don't have any. And that the Ideas
I carry around with me... Well, those aren't really mine.

What I am atempting to convey is this:

No matter how bad things seem, You are not as close to the edge as you might think.
You are stronger than that. Don't be a chicken. Fight for what is important to you.
Remember that you are not the only person who has had bummer thoughts. (on any level)

We are all in a much better place than what we give ourselves credit for.


Own it.

Hugs,


NudeL












I am blessed because I have the ability to realize these things. And even though I know this every single day, sometimes my blessings
just seem to stand out a little more.

I could keep writing

Thank you all for

I just found out last night that an old friend of mine was murdered. I was watching the news and the blip about the fire chief 's bail came on. Then the name "Jennifer Teresa Flores" and her photo came on.
OH MY GOD! IT CAN'T BE!
Yes it can. I found out this morning.

cbs2.com/topstories/lo...257194130.html

Jennifer was one of my best friends. Unfortuately, she let the drugs rule her instead of the other way around. I made the decision to stop hanging with her because of the drama and sneakiness that was starting to swirl around her. That swirl was was sendings wisps my way. I didn't want any part of it. That was 4 years ago.

So one day I had a telephone conversation with Jennifer letting her know of of my decision to stay away. She balked at first. But then backed down when she realized I was firm in my choosing. We parted ways amicably.

I feel very confused right now. I chose to remove myself from her life.....But it doesn't mean I wanted her life removed from this earth.

Jennifer, I hope you are in a better place now. I know you had a lot of hurt in your life, with your Dad and brother etc. You just wanted to be loved, yet it always seemed to elude you. It is my hope that all of your anguish is gone for good. Several times you showed me a box filled to the brim with lavender. It was your favorite posession. I will put some out and remember you.
Sleep well my old friend,
I miss us.

Love,

Lisa D.