joined on 06/18/08
last updated 10/27/09
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about me
Reaper, 3rd Class
Studied at Underworld University 432 B.C. - 428 B.C.
• Major: Scythe Management
• Senior Thesis: Techniques in Ebola Research and Disbursal - Viral Marketing Applied to Human Suffering
• Internship with The Grim Reaper 426 B.C. - 421 B.C.
• Managed Royal Leech Nursery 335 B.C. - 300 B.C. Senior V.P.
• Reaper 4th Class 712 A.D. - 1981 A.D.
• Reaper 3rd Class 1982 A.D. - Present
Accomplishments in Evil
• The Great Plague (1348-1349 A.D.)
• Invented Olestra (1987 AD)
• Invented "Reality" TV (1994 AD)
• Author: Cooking Light with Badger Spleens (Simon and Schuster, 1972)
• Author: I Ate Your Grandma's Soul (Humor: Underworld Press, 1987)
• Author: 100 Things to Do with a Severed Head (Underworld Press, 1994)
• Author: How to Cure Happiness in 10 Days (Self-Help: Dark Night Books, 1997)
• Co-Author: Reaping for Dummies (Underworld Press, 2001)
Today I cut off all my fingers. Those motherfuckers were starting to really piss me off, typing "adn" instead of "and" all the time and making me look like an idiot in Instant Messages.
Little fuckers keep forgetting how to play the guitar worth a damn too, so I said, "Fuck this" and got out my:
• chainsaw and pulled the starter, laid my hands down on a stump and hacked those little digits off. Note to self: It is profoundly difficult to use a chainsaw with a hand that has no fingers. T...
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My finger's a twitchin, thinkin of dumping Tribe once and for all....why do I even come and check it anymore?
There are barely any posts anymore. I hate Facebook but at least something's happening....
Sat, July 4, 2009 - 9:42 AM
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A HAIKU OF REMEMBRANCE
Indigo swam slowly through
his cubicle tank
In glorious Purple style
Say goodbye to the fishy
He was a good friend
and he was really purple...
In his little office space
he greeted me here,
now he swims into the sky...
(feel free to add your own)
Tue, June 16, 2009 - 5:39 PM
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After a whirlwind Portland weekend, it seems I have a hundred things to blog about, but limited time to remember it all, and limited time to express it all, so I'm just gonna have to be random about it, and not worry about my writing, or it'll never get out there.
The Portland World Naked Bike Ride was amaaaaazing, and reaffirms my faith in humanity. For the daytime ride, we had about 100 people, and some great costumes. I especially liked the couple riding a tandem bike, and they were pai...
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Meet "Glisan," the Purple Globule that lives in my lava lamp.
Unlike other lava lamps, mine has reached a ripe old age, and is no longer a cheeky community of ever-colliding globules, but has solidified into one cranky old purple globule that does nothing more than hover there menacingly....suspended in his liquid environment, probably plotting an eventual escape, and/or my death.
I can see it happening people.....you will start to notice......where are Craw's updates?
What happened t...
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Shameless Self-Promotion: Coraline!
(events » arts)
Friday, February 6, 2009 - 12:00 PM
Well Everybody,
I've spent the last three years working at LAIKA, a Portland-based animation studio, and we are finally seeing the rewards of our long efforts. This Feb 6th, LAIKA releases Coraline, an amazing stop-motion film, shot in stereoscopic 3D, from the novel by Neil Gaiman.
The look of the film is fantastic, and it's a wonderful, engaging story for both adults and children. I'd love to see everyone in Portland come out and support their local business (and especially my job, LOL) by checking out Coraline when it opens. It's pretty damned amazing!!!
Starring Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, Ian McShane
Director Henry Selick
Theatrical Release Feb. 6th!
Official Site Coraline: www.coraline.com
Behind-the-Scenes: www.mtv.com/photos/
More info:
www.mtv.com/movies/movie...viemain.jhtml
<end shameless selfPromotion>
cheers
-The Craw
**ENVIRONMENTAL NUDE PHOTOGRAPHY**,
Backpackers,
Beautiful People from the Future,
Bicycle Commuting,
Blonde & Loving It,
Blue Eyed Tribe,
cheese,
Compost Compulsion,
Crushaholics,
ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY,
Erotic Fiction,
Food Geeks,
Keep Portland Weird,
LA Burners,
Mac Girls,
Maya,
PDX,
PHOTOSHOP,
Porcupine Tree Tribe,
Portland Burners,
Portland, OR,
Reconstructed Clothing,
Shake,
SkinnyDippers,
Solovox,
...
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