I took Joe to my High School winter formal. We went to the Fairmont in San Francisco for dinner before the dance, and Joe patiently guided my friend Rachel and I through the perilous waters of bourgeois dining rituals (no, the Shirley Temple refills are not free). Don't let the sarcasm and apathy fool you. Underneath it all, Joe's an idealistic, bleeding heart yuppie in training. If life fails to produce an acceptable partner for him, I'm forcing Joe to breed with me. Kisses on your pink parts, dear.

don't be gay.

I enjoy a good horror film. I always seem to laugh at the most inappropriate moments, like when a main character dies by shooting a hole through her head with a revolver she pulls out of her private area, which is soaked in blood from an obviously severe and naughty trauma she's sustained.

Everyone else in the film is crying and screaming, everyone in attendence at the movie is gasping and trying to hold down their supper, and here I am laughing hysterically, thoroughly enjoying the gag.

As the audience dies down, and the scene moves on, I notice someone else convulsing with laughter. Joe's body rumbles as he blasts the kids in front of us with his howling. As he clears his snot bubbles away and cackles one last time, i realize something... Joe and i have a marvelous future of condescension ahead of us.

The old aesthete continues his trolly race to effeteness [manicures, spin-art, cases of wine, doilies on the arm rests, muslin shears behind the curtains and lemon balm tea, bearing grudges a year after apologies have been proffered] with a sudden and alarming interest in crochet. Sweet vermouth and seltzer took the edge off of him breaking my glasses by trying to shove a tampon in my mouth.

< madcow > joe is so normal or a big man! or exactly what Beavis would be as a grownup.

Joe is my darling.
Much love for this one.