I made two attempts to drop this blog entry and got Stoned by time out protocols and balky password tags, so I am gonna give it one more push and if I get no love... then it's Spanish Inquision time Mother Fucker!!!!
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I have been working on a job offer for most of the last two months and we are getting to the (apply inert, timeless, vacuous cliche' here) end of the proscess now that I have pissed in a cup, with help of course. If the results come in as they should, I ought to be a Public/Para-Transportaion Service evaluator by the end of the week. And that brings us to the point.

IRONY is my favourite recreational substance. The basic idea of getting a job ordinarily doesn't qualify as Mark Twain territory, until I hip ya to some RICH detail; This last twenty months or so have been bleak at best for my physical self. It prolly begins much earlier than I am willing to acknowledge, and that is just plain stupid if you, gentle reader, begin to apprehend the general drift here that I'm a thirty-five yr/old guy with a Progressing genetic disorder, and yet am boringly healthy (yeah, except the OBVIOUS stuff.); So there was a great deal of... genuine surprise when I spent Memorial Day in hospital with freakin' PNUMONIA!!! When I tell the story, stealth is the Qualifer used, because the whole thing was, well... fuck if I knew it was a Blob of Bacteria poluting my lung. But after a 2x chest film and my first ever C.T. scan, there was the 'Attending' asking me how long i'd been feeling it. "Um... I handn't yet?" I mean the first indication something was going off the rails was the 145 b.p.m. heart rate, the 150/110 b.p. and the sudden pick axe through the left side "am I having a CORONARY?" pain. Three days and a couple bags of I.V. antibiotics later, home to rest, and my body would never be the same...

I went back to work and did My usuall livin' stuff, (finally got to see Ministry in a small venue! Well I dug it.) then winter hit and... it all just shut down. My body made me completely aware just how much it wasn't going to function anymore, and hope to get some back when spring hit was all there was for me. Then a motor on my power chair fried, and it'd be a week for the part to come in. So in the middle of this darkish little season, the IRONY hit.

The phone rang, and it was a proccesser from Social Security who "Had a few questions for you, Mr. Wallace". I will always have a serious issue with 'Official Paperwork', it's irrational fear and prolly angst left-over from high school (IknowIknow! get over it you howl, gentle reader.), but in the back of my head it's all I can do not to lose it 'causeificockuppartorall ofitsomeweaselisgonnayankmyhealthcareandAAAHHH!!! Point being, this shit more often than... fills me with TOTAL dread and I can barely stand to deal with it, but it's a yearly heaping pile o'steaming poo. (Much to discuss about THIS comming soon, no doubt) Then the wierd hit.

She ended the conversation by telling me that the higher income would hit next month. !!!! UHHMM. K. So the deal was my bio-dad retired the previous summer and it triggered... something amongst the paper fondlers who reevaluated my file and decided to DOUBLE my monthly income. THEN a few months later, some wacko offered me a job, riding buses, and then reporting on ease of use issues, and safety observations, driver interactions and the like. In other words; Use the skill set I had developed during the last four years doing customer service/consumer product-professional service/product telephone research interviews... for 50% MORE money? All over the country? K. I can't type in a work environment, but i was gonna ride the bus to get someplace anyway, so PAY me for that? Well why the fuck not, baby. So one minute i'm quiting my job because I simply can't do the work anymore, then pretty much out of the ASS of a yety, I own a relativly new car, have a real job in the offing and here is me telling you, gentle reader, on my very own 'pewter, thus walling my status as THE LAST CRIPPLED MAN IN THE U.S. WITHOUT ONE. K.

Irony keeps me young, and full of fun observations. Talk to ya soon.