Climb Every Mountain!

The climb up Brokeback Mountain is gaining altitude as the superb movie earned the most Golden Globe nominations of any film this year. Its seven nods include best dramatic film, best director and best actor (Heath Ledger). Its other nominations for Michelle Williams as supporting actress, for her portrayal of Ledger's wife, and nods for best screenplay, score and song. I attended the sneak preview of Brokeback Mountain this past Monday, which was the 12th of December. It was very powerful, very moving, and as close to the topic matter as it can get without cramming the subject manner down the audiences throats. Brokeback Mountain is based on Annie Prolix's short story about Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist. Two Wyoming Cowboys who fall in love during a 1963 summer job herding sheep in the isolated altitudes on Brokeback Mountain. Her tragic short story seemed prescient when in 1998, 21 year-old Gay college student Matthew Shepard was tortured and murdered outside Laramie, Wyoming, near Prouix's home in Centennial. (Ms. Proulix was called for jury duty in the trail, but did not serve.) In Brokeback Mountain Jack and Ennis have a hot night in their tent. It's not explicit, it's suggested without the realism. The following morning, Ennis Del Mar and Jack Twist deny they're "Queer" to one another. After their summer together, the two part ways and go on to live separate lives - complete with wives, careers, and denials. Later, they would begin a clandestine romance, which would last for 20 years. Throughout the years the two proclaim their love to each other, but they never admit their sexuality to each other. Their secret life is keep well guarded from their wives or so the two think. Later in the film, Jack Twist asks Ennis to come live on a ranch with him. Ennis declines. Why? Because in Ennis's mind this is what Queers do and, if he accepted Jack's offer, he'd be Queer too. Upon hearing of Ennis's divorce, Jack puts Ennis's reason about him not running off with him to the test. Ennis declines again with another goof-ball reason that enrages Jack. The reality is that Ennis doesn't want to be a big part of life and never will. All hell breaks loose from the deep-rooted self-homophobia, guilt, and shame that Ennis has about his fling with Jack. To Ennis it's just sexual and nothing else - despite the emotions, feelings, and all of the elements of love that he shares with Jack. Admitting to this would mean that he is Gay, a fact about himself that he'll never admit to anyone including him. This isn't the Cowboy's way of loving someone in a cold cruel society. It's out of fear, denial, and the fact that people might recognize him for what he really is. Violence becomes a part of their relationship whenever the topic of their forbidden love comes up. In a flashback to his youth, we see the cold hard fact about why Ennis won't commit to Jack or make a commitment with him. The intense high drama exits off into the sunset with an ending that left me emotionally charged and drained at the same time. The reality of art being true life to those in the community who aren't true to themselves. It's a life lesson learned well to most of the majority of us in the Gay Community. Brokeback Mountain is a superb movie that you can identify and relate to because it's true. The timing is perfect! It's what the doctor ordered for an intense culture climax society where the religious-wrong, red states, anti-Gay bills, anti-Gay Marriage ballot measures, and homophobia rules. Of course, the thought of two Cowboys being in love will mess with the heads of Mr. & Mrs. America when they go to see Brokeback Mountain out of curiosity, word of mouth or both! The media (The Seattle Times is one of them) is penned the headline: "Gay Cowboys: Will audiences accept this Wyoming love story?" Why? Because they're not the familiar stereotypes that they've grown to accustom of seeing in movies, television, plays, passed walking down the street or while out and about in public or work. The characters in Brokeback Mountain aren't the type of men whom they'd yell, "FAGS!" at. Nor do Jack and Ennis resemble or act like the catch phrase, "You're so Gay." They're not anything like the "limp wristed, loud, obnoxious" Nellie queen, whose "light in the loafers," or a throwback to the 70's mentality of "Queer Ass Folks." "Frasier" had a reoccurring masculine Gay male character who didn't last long, because the idea of Gay man looking, acting, and conducting himself as one the good old boys club didn't wash. At the same time, they don't have a problem with straight actors playing Gay roles, but they get pissed beyond belief when a Gay person plays a Gay or straight role. Why? Because it's not a threat when a straight actor plays a Gay role - especially a loaded stereotype while denying the fact that we're like everyone else. And they don't have a clue of who's who, which scares the hell out of them. A woman playwright from Wyoming was quoted in the press saying she never met a Gay cowboy and thought that the movie was damaging to the cowboy image. Those that know real cowboys will say it's all hogwash. She's in for a rude awakening when she learns that she has met more Gay people than she is capable of counting, especially when it comes to the rugged, manly men, such as Cowboys, Athletes, Construction workers, Blue Collar workers. She fails to realize that their are those who don't have effeminate or Gay characteristics, mannerisms or telltale signs. Woman are scared crapless about the fact that there "dream stud" could be living a secret life. Oh, the horror of it all. In a nutshell we are the person next door, co-worker, parishioner, or family member. They have no clue about whom we do and what we do behind closed doors. Which is good, because society needs to mind their own business and stay out of ours. On the whole, we all need to be proud of who and what we are. We need to introduce ourselves to the person inside trying to break free. The scripture: "To thy self be free." It is a true statement to those living in denial and fear. Once you know the truth about yourself, you'll care less about what people think or say about you. Once you develop a sense of self, self-worth, and self-esteem; you got it going on. You're your own individual and have no problem being your own person. By the grace of your higher power, you're able to love yourself, God, others, and will have no problem loving someone else in a relationship. When you do meet that "special" person, only you and that person will know that something is definitely there. If you care about a person, you must be sincere, honest and monogamous while working on the relationship. Establish a line of communication between one another and develop a mutual trust for each other. Temptation is everywhere, but how can you say that you love someone while you're out sleeping with someone else? Face it; let's get real here. There's no excuse for playing a whore. If a relationship is based on sex, what's left after the love is gone? Was there time for a friendship? Can the friendship continue after the lust is gone? Was it a "special friend" where the two of you have sex without any strings attached because you're "JUST FRIENDS?" Then, there's the ever popular: "We're moving too fast let's slow down." Let's see other people. Emotions are something that shouldn't be played with. A person shouldn't be hurt, used, or abused because you're lonely and need a body. There are all kinds of relationships; get into one that fits you best. Be the winner in you! Ang Lee (director of Brokeback Mountain ) speaks: "To me, it's a story about the illusion of love. That transcends being Gay and being a cowboy and all that. Because they don't know what love is, they spend the next 20 years trying to catch it. My character is very afraid of offending or hurting anyone. It's my first nature, probably to avoid confrontation. But, I do like to challenge, to examine conflict. Inner conflict, particularly. You have to go there to examine humanity. Otherwise, we cover ourselves up." Lee sees his movie as a unifying rather than dividing. Several States have Gay rodeo associations, and Brokeback Mountain is receiving support from a pair of country music icons. Willie Nelson and Steve Dearle provide new recordings for the soundtrack. "It legitimizes us a little bit," said Ang Lee.

HIV/AIDS on the rise in minority communities

I strongly advice Black Church Leaders to offer love, compassion, and care to their parish members who are infected with this deadly virus that still has no cure. Blacks aren't getting the medical treatment that they need, since they're going to their family practice physician instead of a infectious disease control doctor. Women of color account for 80 percent of all women estimated to be living with AIDS, with Black women making up 64 percent of that total alone. Women across racial/ethnic groups most commonly report heterosexual contact or injection drug use as their primary modes of exposure to HIV. Black and Hispanic women accounted for 81 percent of new AIDS diagnoses in 2004. HIV/AIDS was the leading cause of death among African American women ages 25-34 and the third leading cause for ages 35-44 in 2002. HIV/AIDS was also the fourth leading cause of death for Hispanic women ages 35-44. African Americans account for 40 percent of the total estimated AIDS diagnoses through 2004, though they make up only 12.2 percent of the population. They also represent an estimated 50 percent of persons newly diagnosed with HIV/AIDS in 2004. Hispanics account for 19 percent of total estimated AIDS diagnoses through 2004, though they make up only 14.2 percent of the population. The number of Asian/Pacific Islanders and American Indian/Alaska Natives living with AIDS continues to rise, with an approximately 10 percent increase each year over the past five years. March 5th through March 11th marks the 17th Annual Black Church Week of Pray for the Heal of AIDS. This is a powerful week of prayer and education that engages Black congregations to take action towards stop the spread of HIV/AIDS in Black communities worldwide. Episcopalians care! Okay, so what if they're up in a tizzy about the appointment of a Gay Bishop. Big Woop! They had a problem with Blacks, in spite of the fact that Absalom Jones was the first Black Minister and Bishop for Episcopalians. And he is now a Saint in the Episcopal faith. The same folks foamed at the mouths and showed their true colors about Women becoming Vicars and Bishops with the Rt. Rev. Nedi Rivera being the newly appointed Bishop in Washington. During a recent talk with Rivera, she suggested that I should make AIDS my ministry, which I totally agreed with. The Episcopalian Diocese published a booklet with resources for those inflicted with AIDS/HIV. They do their part in giving to those in need the help that they need. Along with the love, compassion, and support that one seeks when suffering from an illness with no cure. We are often alienated from families, friends, and so-called church families. Episcopalians are here to help, serve, comfort, and administer healing with the power of prayer Amen! This is how you express the love of God towards other.

Pity! What goes around comes around! Let's send them a $20.00 donation in three dollar Queer bills.



Sincerely,

Nevin Jefferson

Ski Trip : Tag along with this talented cast

By Nevin Jefferson - SGN Contributing Writer My movie of choice for this year's Gay and Lesbian Film Festival was the Ski Trip, which is written, directed and starring, Maurice Jamal. The Ski Trip is the an outstanding movie in this year's film festival. It's superbly written, directed, and has the 'talent' that Jamal was casting for when he set out to create a stellar cast. He was seeking an "OUT" Black Gay man who knows the perils of hell that goes on in Hollywierd. He asked the typical Gay questions during auditions that only a Gay man would know. He wasn't out to discriminate against others because he doesn't like to be discriminated against himself. He ended up with a 50/50 split of Gay and straight. The movie opens with close-ups of Corey's close friends as they leave their joyful and cute birthday messages for the, now, 30-year-old Corey. One caller is a man who got Corey's phone number off the bathroom wall. Corey awakens recently dumped, unemployed, and riddled with guilt about not going to the gym for a year. The story is narrated by Corey as he leads us into his world. Terry (Daren Fleming) calls Cory to bring him into the first day of making 30 along with the snide remarks and cute comments that only a true drag queen can say. Corey tries to escape the from the 'dish' by hanging up on Terry. Terry, an over the top part-time drag queen who performs under the name of "Grenadine Ross" - full of aspiration - continues to call back. This leads the audience into the first stint of comedy after Cory's mother calls with Cory thinking that the call was from the persistence Terry. He quickly finds out that it's his mother! The voices of Corey's mother and her boyfriend (who's called Uncle by Corey) are done in the sounds of "blah-blah" and horn sounds (i.e. like in the Charlie Brown cartoons). The next person we meet is Nikki (Cassandra Cruz), an on the prowl for the 'Drawers' Butch Lesbian who's one of the boys. Her mouth motions and mannerisms along with Lesbian commentary will thrill the Lesbian audience. We quickly learn that Corey, Nikki, and Terry go way back to the 90's when they were straight. This is why they're able to come over whenever the mood strikes them because, they have key's to Corey's apartment. Upon seeing the broken framed picture of Marcus (William Blagrove), Corey's ex on the floor of the apartment, Terry and Nikki begin their plans to cheer Corey up. It's the friend in need who gets the help indeed. Terry comes up with the idea of a party at their favorite bar, then begins calling people to invite them. We get an introduction to the cast as they're called by Terry who invites them to the celebration. Byron (Nathan Hale), is a Bitchy Queen with a serious attitude. When he finds out that Corey and Nikki are listening to the conversation on a speaker phone he calls Terry a "Bitch" for doing this ploy. The three in return call him a "Bitch" after the call ends in a hang up by all parties. Later on in the day, we meet Omar (John Rankin) who has a oblivious crush big time on Corey, who could care less about Omar. Not only does Omar come over to Corey's small apartment with a cake, he gives Corey a action figure of one of the cartoon characters in Corey's comic book. The one that Corey has given up on. At the bar we meet Carlos (Emanuel Xavier) where he's a bartender with high hopes of becoming a music producer. Carlos serves 'cocktails' in the bathroom to the hot numbers he scores - complete with condoms. This is how he became friends with Terry, Corey, and Byron, whom he had sex with after being called a "HO" by Terry and Corey. Carlos defends himself by confessing to being a slut which, he says, is different. Every bar has it's sexy and muscular studs with looks that stop time and start lustful fantasies from those looking on. Tyson (Haaz) is this same described Stud who blows everyone in the bar away. One scene becomes hilarious after Terry lures Tyson over to Corey, then, he bails out on the two. Corey says and behaves in a way you're not supposed to when trying to make an impression. Byron ends up stealing Tyson away from Corey by doing the 'booty' dance. Corey explodes from humiliation - after becoming a human bomb - while attempting to score the man of his and everyone else's dream. The Ski Trip takes off after Nikki suggests that they go on a ski trip to get away. For entertainment, Terry is prepared to do a Talent Show as Cassandra Cruz who spends most of the time cruising. The Ski Trip delivers from the setup of characters who go on a road trip that becomes one adventure after another. Terry Fed-Ex's his clothes to the house where they're staying for the weekend after learning that there's no room in the trunk of the very small compact car that Omar rents as their transportation. Most Blacks and Hispanics don't ski because putting two sticks on your feet, then, sliding down hills isn't something that they desire to do in their lives. Neither do these characters who we observe packing, driving, lodging, dressing, drinking, and having a snowball fight. We see Terry going into a masculine mannerism after getting hit with a snowball. This gives commentary to the fact that Black LGBT ski weekends draw as many non-skiers as skiers. The avalanche falls on the webs weaved by the characters as they play 'tell a story, then, drink.' The claws come out with fur flying as secrets are exposed center stage and placed in the spotlight. I'm not going to spoil it by telling you how the 'snow' hit the fan - complete with a Blizzard that traps them for a couple of more days. The friend in need adage blow's up in the faces of Corey, Terry, and Nikki after learning that Cory's love affair reality is really a lonely Gay man's fantasy . The Ski Trip does have a happy ending. This is a combination of comedy and drama; with drama being in bold print. Ski Trip tells the tale about a Black and Latino community that explores our relationships for what they really are, rather than what we would fantasize them to be. As well as how Blacks and Latinos are real and true to themselves without being a stereo-type. The Ski Trip was the winner of the "Best New Feature Film" award at the 2004 Oakland Black Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. Jamal worked in advertising and is currently the writer, director, and star in the Don Chappelle Show. The end production is a extremely well packaged film complete with fantastic editing, directing, and acting. The Ski Trip was made on a budget of $10 thousand smack-a-roos that screens like a $100,000 dollar production. The soundtrack of the movies is simply the best. Ski Trip has been picked up by Logo, the new Gay station on Direct TV and Comcast. His next production will be on a bigger budget with Loretta Divine and Sherly Lee Ralph starring. After the preview, Jamal spoke to the audience where he shared his woes with the movie, because most festivals had a hard time with a Black movie with Gay characters. Black Festivals, who had a hard time with a Gay movie that stars a Black cast. With gifted talent like his, Jamal has nothing to worry about. The Ski Trip is a delight to watch and a must for your DVD collection.

The miseducation of our folks in office

by Nevin Jefferson - SGN Contributing Writer Wednesday February 21st, in the zipping year thus far of 2007, is AIDS Awareness and Action Day. This is the day that yours truly gets to go to Olympia to un-wash the sugar coated and white washed B.S. that's wrapped around the brains of the folks that make up our Legislature. The headlines heralding the latest hula-dup-ya is the know-it-all comment from the mouths of our elected friends and foes. Last year, it was: "AIDS isn't a problem anymore since there's medication that keeps us going." This year it's: "People are living longer, up to 24 years, with the medication that's available." Oh joy, I get to ride an oversized, motorized, tricycle in my elder years. I'm simply thrilled that -- along with others for the next 24 years --our bodies will host dementia, peripheral neuropathy (the one where your white blood cells eat the receptors of your nerve endings), diarrhea, nausea, skin liaisons, and all of the other life changing events from this bitch of a virus! Like clockwork, I'm going with the gang from Chicken Soup Brigade (Life Long AIDS Alliance) on the CSB Bus. It'll like a school trip complete with a brown bag lunch. Yummy! "People are living longer". But, they're getting sicker because they're living longer. Not to mention the adverse illnesses from medications. Many are dying from other ailments. A doctor confided in me that nine of the patients he tended to are all dying from something else. Treatment is being given for other ailments and not the HIV. A growing number of POZ Gay men are losing their eyesight in their left eye. People who I know have disappeared and reappeared in perfect health. One POZ male spent two years in chemotherapy for K.S. and is now cancer free with a high t-cell count and un-detectable viral load (no trace of the virus in the body). One POZ male suffers from the double whammy of HIV and HEP-C -- all from the poor choices and bad decision-making he made in his life. Several men have gone through chemo and radiation for Lymphoma and are improving each time I meet and greet them. A dear friend of mine passed away last year from Lymphoma. Another friend from un-natural causes because the autopsy found not one of the leading causes of death. Diabetes is the latest nightmare in healthcare for POZ folks. I should know because I was just diagnosed with it! This was the good news in my life that's a comedy of errors, perils, weird, and extremely strange. In the throws of my life, I get to deal with the Big D! I'm also suffering from high blood pressure (higher than a commune of hippies!) that also makes me a candidate for strokes. And just think gang, I have 24 years to deal with the latest of medicines for all of my ailments in my medicine cabinets (Yes, cabinets. In both bathrooms!). I'm living longer. But am I living better? In the major cities there are numerous HIV/AIDS people who are homeless due to slashes in Federal funds. Temporary housing is no more; vouchers for motels and hotels aren't available anymore if you're sick and recovering outside. You have to be on a list with a firm move-in no longer than 2 weeks to get the vouchers. It's the only way to qualify, period! Once upon a time, if one had broken bones or was recovering from pneumonia one could get setup for two weeks. A man who I know whose homeless had pneumonia and a broken jaw and couldn't get a voucher because the rules had changes. The same ailling man -- during the coldest part of winter -- couldn't get admission into Bailey-Boushay. He recovered while outside in the cold, in the rain, and behind a dumpster, which he ate from. For all of the sick, suffering, and homeless, I pray for the Grace of God to see us all through. People are living longer with the power of prayer that brings love, compassion, comfort, and healing to all of God's Children in their time of need. The news headlines can give credit to the pharmacy companies who are getting rich. But those in the know, give the thanks, praise, and glory to God! So, when one of the Legislators or Congress-people quotes the headline to the Black Gay man with HIV/AIDS like it's more exciting than the Hula Hoop and even better than sliced bread. They're going to get an education that they'll never forget. The one thing that I'd like to see happen is for the funds and programs slashed and bagged to be reinstated for all of the people in need. I'd also like the Ryan White Fund to be without the protocols and procedures that deny needed help to those who really, deeply, and truly are in dying need. The AIDS Clinical Trail Unit has just undergone a 70% cut in their budget, with staffing changes that left a group of amazing, dynamic, medical professionals unemployed. I'm in a new medication study because I'm resistance with mutation. Yes, folks, I'm a walking Sci-Fi movie. Where am I to go if it doesn't work? In a box in a field, pushing up the daisies with my group of famous peers who've gone before me

The Saga Continues....



A 2nd Chance!



By Nevin Jefferson





Researchers at the Veterans Healthcare System in Cincinnati, Ohio were baffled by a response from HIV+ people in a study. In the study 32% of participants said that their “life was better” after receiving their diagnosis. “We don’t know for sure why this is.” Dr. Joel Tsevat, Lead Investigator, Veterans Healthcare System. Of course, Tsevat, colleagues, and co-investigators picked this finding apart to make more sense of a true statement that wasn’t the norm according to their standards. The team dug up correlations between improved quality of life after receiving a diagnosis of HIV infection, that included various spirituality factors, fewer financial worries, fewer disclosure worries, and increased optimism related to treatment outcome. In the study, Tsevat and colleagues interviewed 449 patients at various stages of HIV infection between February 2002 and February 2003. After being asked to compare their quality of life before and after receiving an HIV+ diagnosis, about a third (32%) of participants reported that their life was better after diagnosis and 26% said that their life was “about the same” with 29% thinking that their life was worse after diagnosis. After HIV diagnosis, patients were more likely to participate in non-organized religious activities such as mediation or prayer noted by Tsevat. “With the increase in spiritually, participants expressed sentiments such as they felt they were here for a reason or that they had a purpose in life.” Tsevat. “An improvement in clinical status after diagnosis and the initiation of highly active antiretroviral therapy (HARRT) is certainly important. But, we don’t know if their specific symptoms correlated with their feelings. They may have been given a better hope for survival and there is also a decrease in the number of opportunistic infections.” Tsevat. Tsevat and colleagues presented their survey findings at the annual meeting of the Society of General Internal Medicine in Vancouver. When your Doctor stamps an expiration date on your years to come in life. Life as you knew it changes suddenly with shock, disbelief, rage, anger, and a sense of power to overcome any obstacle that gets on the roadway of life. You either can become road kill on the highway of life or make it a strength while overcoming it to help others in the process. Things take on a new meaning and you appreciate each and everything while seeing things in a totally different view. Life is too short for bullsh**t and your main goal is to keep things in a positive prospective. It’s like getting a 2nd chance in life, one that’s like a personal reprieve and a Blessing in itself. You learn how to prepare and eat healthy balanced meals, sleep 8 or more hours, walk, which is the best exercise recommended by Health authorities, exercise, stress management, spirituality, going to the Doctor for regular checkups from 1 to every 3 months depending on your condition, getting on and keeping up a medicine regime, and safe and safer sex. One finds that they’re taking better care of themselves like they should have been prior to their diagnosis. Life’s problems don’t bother you because they’re not that deep nor is it earth shattering. You see people as they are not as they appear to be learning how to deal with them on a personal and loving nature. You see the beauty in things and hear the tone beyond what’s being said which puts you in the truth of the manner. Yesterday is gone, now is what’s important this second, this moment. Spiritually brings you into a new light that defines and renews your soul with a close, personal, relationship with God giving you a spiritual awakening. You realize that you’re here on God’s green earth for a reason and a purpose with every intention of seeing God’s will through. Each and every day if a gift from God that’s treasured and cherished. It’s no longer about you! You become more loving, caring, giving, forgiving, joyous, helpful towards others, prosperous, healing, cleansing, and find inner peace, inner strength, and happiness. You know that you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing and doing it exactly at that time. Everything is for the good of God and all things started by God’s hand for the cause of good will be completed for that good. You give thanks and praise to God while testifying to others along the paths of your spiritual journey that God is real with the good that he has done for you. You learn that you’re a child of God, created in his image and likeness while seeing the face of God in friends, acquaintances, and your enemies. You learn to seek the wisdom and guidance of Divine Intelligence through prayer. The light shines before you in everything that you do. Divine Intelligence will reveal all that you need to know, what you need to do and how to go about doing it. You step out on faith, knowing they you are following the divine plan for your life. You have the God-given potential to achieve success, whether taking a test, seeking a career change or looking for employment. In this springtime of your soul, you are refreshed. Your hope is made new. If you find yourself feeling anxious or stressful while you seek this change in status, you keep your mind focused on God and find him a stress reliever. This allows you to concentrate on using your skills and abilities. You have strong faith in God that you can develop the potential He has invested in you. You expect to achieve success and you do. The scripture reading; “I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me” will have new meaning and gets stronger with each saying. Praying and mediating each day and throughout each day puts you in contact with God while seeing him in your presence. Good or bad, God is always there. It’s up to you to believe this and live out your life doing God’s work and carrying out his plan. You see the splendor of God’s artsy in everything you look at with road trips, hiking, communing with nature becoming a masterpiece to the eyes. You know that you’re loved and that you’re special which makes life much more for the living. If you can’t say Amen to this, say ouch! With Sars and other virus going around these days, opportunistic infections are taking on a new twist. Colds, flu, fatigue, and other health obstacles are becoming harder to fight off by HIV+/PWA, but they’re doing it! It’s part of the phrase that one goes through while dealing with this infection that has no cure. It’s back to the drawing board for Tsevat, colleagues, and co-investigators who are going to dig deep into the two-thirds of participants who did not report an improved quality of life. “They may need better treatment, better coping skills, clergy interventions. It certainly won’t be a one size-fits-all approach. We plan to re-interview these patients over the next 12 to 18 months to find out if their opinions have changed about their quality of life and if so, why they changed.” Tsevat. In all things you learn to go against the grain while slicing the best of things to come. Getting bogged down by the problem at hand and giving up is defeat in itself. Defeating the purpose is a no-no while conquering the odds and learning life lessons that move you along your journey is the best positive in the situation. Tsevat, co-investigators, and colleagues should have picked the two-thirds first for personal and private study. This is where the problem lays because this group is going in the opposite direction. Country-music star Clay Walker quotes; “Having MS has changed the way I look at every person in the world. But, I never let it stop me from performing. Developing multiple sclerosis motivated Clay Walker to live more fully. He’s helping others with the disease to fulfill their own dreams. So, you read, its not just with HIV+/Aids its with any life threatening illness and other issues that occur in life. It’s all about attitude. Well, with this it’s back to the drawing board for Dr. Joel Tsevat, colleagues, and co-investigators. Not to mention being totally baffled by it all.







© Nevin Jefferson, All Rights Reserved

The Saga Continues…

We are One!

By Nevin Jefferson



People love to bounce topics and strong subject manners to me to be heard while forming a consensus about their life issues. The latest bummer in the Gay community according to the ones who spoke their peace and never to be quiet again in life. Is that there’s no love, compassion, good will, support, or a sense of family in the Gay community. The Gay community is quick to zap your self-worth and self-esteem leaving you with a sense of nothing.Idt's ironic that with extreme prejudice,discrimination,and in-fighting,and bigotry in the gay community. They ban together for Gay Rights!Huh? Key word here gang,"UNITITY" The million dollar question among the gay rank is that “Why can’t Gays and Lesbians be more loving towards one another?” You can love a person without sleeping with them. The runner up question is “Why can’t Gays and Lesbians make a change in themselves for the better?” There’s a strong notion that some Gays and Lesbians see the people they meet as a new screw, conquest, boyfriend/girlfriend material or husband/wife package. There’s a strong need for something young and cute to keep things generating in a pretentious world. The next bummer issue was that people aren’t friendly and that its hard to meet people in the Gay community. So there you have it! Okay, we have the problem. What do we do for a solution? For starters, it all begins within each and every one of us to turn things around for the better. Meet people as the individual that they are not who you want them to be according to your mindset. For those who need it or don’t need it, get into therapy, which will help you develop a keen sense of self. You learn to deal with the dark truth about yourself and changing for the good of yourself and your fellowman. All it takes is one to keep the good flowing while making the world a better place in their own right. Like attracts like. Let’s start attracting the good that’s due to us. Don’t let bitter, discontent, Emotional Vampires bring you down. Transform the negative feelings and emotions to a positive that builds you up stronger inside. Nobody and no one is going to ruin the good times and emotions that you’re expressing. It’s all in the essence of things while hoping for the best and getting the best. A friend of mine told me that negative people and Emotional Vampires need to TTATC (Take Their Ass To Church) and turn their life around. If the politics of Organized Religion are too much for your nerves open your heart to Jesus and his love will see you through. This Gay Pride week and everyday afterwards should be reaching out to others and helping those in need. Being a friend to one who needs companion and a guiding light. It’s not about being self-center, self-absorbed, or uncaring towards other. It’s all about sharing the love of God and be one with your fellowman. You can be a spiritual being without being a Religious frantic about it. You get in tune with yourself while becoming the person God meant for you to be. It’s all for the good of God and for the common good among your fellow Queens, Kings, and Nobleperson. Spiritually brings you into a new light that defines and renews your soul with a close, personal, relationship with God giving you a spiritual awakening. You realize that you’re here on God’s green earth for a reason and a purpose with every intention of seeing God’s will through. Each and every day is a gift from God that’s treasured and cherished. It’s no longer about you! You become more loving, caring, giving, forgiving, joyous, helpful towards others, prosperous, healing, cleansing, and find inner peace, inner strength, and happiness. You know that you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing and doing it exactly at that time. Everything is for the good of God and all things started by God’s hand for the cause of good will be completed for that good. You give thanks and praise to God while testifying to others along the paths of your spiritual journey that God is real with the good that he has done for you. You learn that you’re a child of God, created in his image and likeness while seeing the face of God in friends, acquaintances, and your enemies. You learn to seek the wisdom and guidance of Divine Intelligence through prayer. The light shines before you in everything that you do. Divine Intelligence will reveal all that you need to know, what you need to do and how to go about doing it. You step out on faith, knowing they you are following the divine plan for your life. You have the God-given potential to achieve success, whether taking a test, seeking a career change or looking for employment. In this springtime of your soul, you are refreshed. Your hope is made new. If you find yourself feeling anxious or stressful while you seek this change in status, you keep your mind focused on God and find him a stress reliever. This allows you to concentrate on using your skills and abilities. You have strong faith in God that you can develop the potential He has invested in you. You expect to achieve success and you do. The scripture reading; “I can do all things through Christ who strengthen me” will have new meaning and gets stronger with each saying. Praying and mediating each day and throughout each day puts you in contact with God while seeing him in your presence. Good or bad, God is always there. It’s up to you to believe this and live out your life doing God’s work and carrying out his plan. You see the splendor of God’s artsy in everything you look at with road trips, hiking, communing with nature becoming a masterpiece to the eyes. You know that you’re loved and that you’re special which makes life much more for the living. If you can’t say Amen to this, say ouch! My ancestors were raped and ravaged by drunken Vikings, The lust of the Irish, Mad Englishmen, Invaded by Germans, Italian Bandits, Thrill seeking Frenchmen, and every tribe of the Native American Indians. This was on my Father's side! My Mother's side came straight off of the boat from Africa. They were sold into slavery and were raped by the Bible belt Southern crowd. The battle between light and dark skinned Blacks still continues with a vengeance. Upon learning this, I chopped down my Family Tree and burned it. I'm Black with a twist. History does repeat itself; You and I are living proof of this. If anyone should have a feeling of the Black experience, it's the gay community. True, you can hide the fact of being gay, but you can't hide the color of your skin. With the exception of Michael and LaToya Jackson who need to leave that bleaching cream alone! Now we have the non straight acting versus the flamboyant, Leather versus non leather, Out versus the In, The Blacks who feel left out of the gay community and want to become a part of it versus those who rather leave well enough alone keeping to themselves. And then we have those who want to be a part of society and those who don’t. We also have those who feel like they don’t have anything in common with the gay community as a whole. We also have those who feel that being sexual and being gay are two different things. The thing needed here to bridge this gap is unity. This and respecting each other’s personal choices and preferences. We are one, we are family! Like it or not. We entered the 21st century going from civil rights to gay rights. Being Black doesn't make me any less of a human being, nor does being gay. I've got two for the price of one. It's the same for a woman who's Black and gay or a woman who's gay and is facing the same double whammy. We go forth proving to the world that we're no different, only better. Being whom and what we are shouldn't take away from what we can or will be. We should strive to be respected individuals who are very diverse in culture with our own offering to the world. True, the days of going through back doors are out. Coming out of closets are in. Fighting for recognition as a person and holding your head up proudly, not being ashamed of yourself. Should be at the top of our agenda and a common goal to achieve. It’s fighting the stereotypes placed on us by society. From "How do you act around or treat a Black person? To "How do you act around or treat a gay person?" From pimps and welfare mothers to hairdressers and interior decorators. From not going to the back of the bus to not going to the back room of bars. From strong positive Black figures to strong positive gay figures. From "I don't want my child to date or marry a Black" to "I don't want my child to be gay or be friends with them." From being called a "nigger" to being called a “fag". Facing bigotry every day and the constant battle not to strangle someone for cruel and demeaning remarks is getting harder each day. From token Black to token gay. From "my best friend is Black to "my best friend is gay". Then there are gays not being in the military with the same excuses used against Blacks. It’s okay to die for a country where you don’t have the freedom or rights that’s being fought for. The idea of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” rule being dropped during the war with the possibility of charges being bought up against you afterwards is just as lame as the idiots who enforced this rule. It’s the same crap in a different era with the gay heroes on September 11th being overlooked. This should prove that gays are a big part of this country and carry the same pride and respect for their nation. Now America has gone to hanging American flags from hanging Blacks. The gay bashing and hatred towards us continues just as strongly with an American flag in the background. Now, where’s the patriotism in that one? We still have the Southern Baptist Bible belt crowd still breathing down our necks with hatred laced with Bible quotes. The problem isn't what's in the Bible, it's the interpretation perceived by these brain dead idiots. To go on television and blame gays, pro-lifers, and people not lost in the dark like they are for World tragedies shows the lack of intelligence that left a vortex inside their head. In the midst of a crisis instead of giving compassion, they're giving malice laced with ignorance, bigotry, and hatred all in the name of God. Where's the Christian love in this one gang? And why the media break their neck to broadcast this bogus crap baffles me to no end. Anything anti-gay is newsworthy and is treated as the standard norm. Most people believe what they see on television and read in the newspapers. The fact that these Hate Worshippers have their own television station is frightening. Over a million minds corrupted daily with the count climbing higher than McDonald’s hamburger sales. Like the Blacks, we have to start fighting back, but first we have to stop fighting among ourselves. Division belongs in math! It’s time to start crashing affairs and funerals just like they’re doing to us. It’s time to put an end to this nonsense once and for all, true it won’t happen overnight. If we start standing up to these bozos they will back down and find a weaker target. If someone gets in your face with their screwed up beliefs get them out of it with the truth that you believe in yourselves. Give them a fight; challenge them at their own game using every wit in your being to win. It’s time for the media to start taking us seriously and not heed the warnings of counteractions that we have in store. We all know that it’s going to be real cute, well done, and entertaining at the same time. Things take time, energy, and creative involvement with everyone adding their ingredients to the mix to complete the recipe. Large syndications have bought out a majority of gay publications dictating to the editors what to write. Like what? Negativity in the worst degree, like bare backing, stopping the use of condoms that is irresponsibility being handed out on a silver platter for some. A half page column on a gay actor who’s out can’t get work followed by a three to four photo spread on a straight actor excited about taking on a gay role. Not to mention writers who majored in contempt and malice with a minor in self-hatred. They’re wolves in sheep’s clothing deceiving us with meaningless words to keep us down. They’re writing against our cause instead of for our cause, which knocks us back to square one. Where’s the provocative, ground breaking, thought propounding journalism and positive exposure that the gay community needs as a whole? It’s getting the door slammed in our faces. The time is more than now to kick it open, storm in and take our places while refusing to be moved. Just like Rosa Parks did to do her part in the Black History among others who refused to back down. Dr. King’s Dream included us too, if you don’t believe me, ask Mrs. King and her children who expressed the rights for gays freely. Of course, they had a family member oppose them, but where is she now? Among the other homophobic idiots who try to take us on and lose.









© Nevin Jefferson, All Rights Reserved

The Saga Continues....



Bravo or Boo?



By Nevin Jefferson



Coming through the airwaves in July from the Bravo Network is a reality show about stereotype gay men teaching wannabe straight boys how to be like us. The goal of the show is to “build a better straight man” with the assistance of five gay consultants in fashion, grooming, interior design, etiquette and culture in the hopes of helping “stylistically challenged” straight boys. Ingenious or insulting? One of the two producers is gay and sees this show about “guys helping guys”. “Gay or straight, we all want to look good, feel good and have great shoes, of course.” David Collins gay executive producer of “The Queer Eye for the Straight Guy”. Yes gang, we have the hair, clothes, nice homes, pretty things, fabulous cars, and career to make it all possible. Straight America is trying to embark on our good qualities for the sole purpose of being better than us. According to straight standards, gay men also get laid 24/7 while living in elegant splendor. Our essence of style is under a microscope and is being dissected for political correct standards to be applied to straight men. As if they’re not copying us left, right, and sideways in a failed attempt to dress us their ignorance. In a nutshell we have the basic slob straight boys versus the nice and neat gay guys. Personal grooming and appearance is simply that, personal! Remember the personal hygiene course that you had in school? You were taught that your body was changing and you had to bathe daily and follow up with personal grooming. You learned the importance of deodorant, hair products, and after-shave. You learned to look your best when out in the public and to dress neatly in clean clothes. Remember spending two weeks in Home Economics where you learned how to cook, clean, sew, and do basic household chores? Remember how the girls giggled at the boys who were clumsy and awkward with kitchen gadgets and simple household tasks? Me? I already had it down to a science at the young age of 8. To this day, I can still iron out pleats and put a crease in pants without breaking into a sweat from the steam iron. I can thread a needle without blinking an eye. I washed clothes in a bathtub on a washboard with lye soap. To this day, I still think that the washing machine is a gift from God. I learned how to take care of myself and not to depend on anyone. I’m a better person for it. Yippee! I’m sorry, but you can’t teach personality and the goal to succeed to people, this is something that you have to work on by yourself. A sense of style comes from a sense of self that glows on the inside and shines outward. Cleaning up behind yourself is one of the things in life that you do because this was expected of you in the younger years. When you grow up in a ghetto where the odds for a Black man to be either dead or in jail by 21. The desire, drive, motivation, and determination give you the need to succeed in this world. You can’t teach personal power! Nor can you teach personal pride and respect for one’s self. All of a sudden, there’s a fascination in straight America about Gay U.S of A. that’s to the point of extreme envy. What’s wrong with having a good job, dressing nice, and having a “boss” home to kick back and relax in? What’s wrong with wanting to have a pretty car to drive your fine ass around in? Let’s face it gang, until you can afford one, you’re your own live-in maid! Some of us have it while others don’t. So, what’s the big deal? Like it or not, we’re still a threat to straight society who are stealing big time from our gay culture. For the most part, the straight boys are going to act like being responsible for yourself is a joke. With Nellie queens running the show the joke is going to become more visible. The love for one’s self is acquired and applied to daily living. For the sake of ratings, I strongly suggest that the straight guys learn how to dress in drag and go about their daily routine. Of course, every Drag Queen dreams of taking their act to the stage which would provide the show with variety entertainment. If the Network Execs had their heads screwed on right they would go for a more positive concept. If you really want to knock Edna and Herbert off of their living room couch hit them with gay guys who appear to be straighter than the straight boys. As the show progresses you get to know who’s who among the ranks. Through the eye of the camera you’ll see you’re average guy going off to work where he becomes the best in what he’s doing. You’re see the person come home from work, do housework, putter around the yard, and get together with friends. For some strange reason the American public gets off on watching the emotional pain and suffering of others. So, throw in the person waiting for the phone to ring from a guy who said; “I’ll call you!” and doesn’t follow through. The agony, pain, and rejection are enough emotion to cause the dear viewer to shed a tear. Throw in the insults and public ridicule that’s a part of our life along with coming to terms with your sexuality and you’ll have a winning show. If they play it right, Edna and Herbert will be out protesting for Gay Rights. Straight America would learn that the only difference between us is that gay men like their tits and ass on a man. Oh, to be gay! We have the charm, class, and debonair along with personal success stories. We created a look that’s packaged just right for delivery. This is the package that today’s straight society wants delivered into their dull, dreary lives. Of course, this beautiful package doesn’t include equal rights to live in the land of the free and the home of the brave. We have to deal with a society that doesn’t understand us as the gifted individuals that we are. We have to face discrimination in the workplace, hate crimes, and are denied the privilege marry and enjoy wedded bliss. Or the privilege to come out, move on and continue forward, form fellowships and enjoy companionship with one another. You can’t meet your fellow gay when the majority are still closeted and keep to themselves. What we have among us is personal success, inner peace, inner strength, and the determination to make it in today’s world. There are those who will tell you that the gay community is a very lonely place to be and can tear you down if you let it. There are those of us who make the most of what they have while making the best out of every situation and rise above troubled waters. This along can be a show in itself and generate both ratings and commercial revenue. The trials and tribulations of today’s gay man will not only make a hit show. It’ll spin off into a tear jerking, comical, emotional packed soap opera which will be more realistic than any other show on daytime television. A bitter, despondent, discontent, vengeful seeking queen will knock Erica Kane off of her soapbox any day. A strong positive, inspiring, and self motivated gay guy will become a model to live by. You know that you’re doing something right when people want what you have. They say that life imitates art, which goes to prove that we’re a masterpiece!







© Nevin Jefferson, All Rights Reserved

The Saga Continues…

Mom, Dad, I’m Doomed!

By Nevin Jefferson



For those parents who are worried about their daughter fondling Barbie or their son doing nipple torture on GI Joe. There’s a dupe book from the dim reality of reorientation therapy and the prevention of homosexuality. To further mess with our heads Psychology Today ran an ad for “A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality” by Dr. Joseph Nicolosi. Dr. Epstein, editor of Psychology Today defended reorientation therapy. Dr. Nicolosi is the male Dr. Laura and is headed for the same bout of trauma and emotional hell that Dr. Laura suffered from with constant relapses. No sponsors, no Dr. Laura shows! I love a happy ending! Preventing a child from being gay is like trying to prevent a thrill seeking atheist from wearing gasoline drawers to hell. “A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality” is false hope to something that’s destined to be. You know who you are, what you are, what you like to do, and how you like to have it done. You know, what you know, what you know. You know? Dr. Nicolosi is now doing the talk show tour giving Mr. & Mrs. John Q. Public the perfect gift for family and friends who have peculiar children. They’ll act shocked, offended, and appalled beyond comparison when they receive it as gift. This is also going to add fuel to the fire in protecting your children from everything including their sexuality. “One of my main points for appearing on these programs is to make parents aware that there is much they can do to maximize the likelihood of their child growing up straight.” Dr. Nicolosi. Clutch your pearls, it’s going to get interesting in a lot of households across America. Media brain washing and latest sensation to stir things up while pissing off the gay community is about to commence upon us. Some parents blame themselves when their child comes out to them. They think that it’s something that they did wrong and blame themselves for being bad parents. At the same time, they’re embarrassed and ashamed by the news and want you to keep it “our” little secret. And by all means, don’t tell Grandma because this news would kill her. I strongly suggest that Grandma should hear the news at the dinner gathering where she loses her dentures and falls face first into the mashed potatoes. I also suggest that you tell Grandpa to see if his heart condition really is bad or if he’s been being faking it for attention over the years. Some parents don’t deal with the news of their child being gay too well at all, they can’t deal with it and they refuse to cope with this issue. To them it’s a horror to the child out of question and who’s now into the truth with a strong sense of relief. Some parents know that they child is gay and take precautions to defuse the gay bomb that’s going to explode into a sexual awakening. My mother bought me Playboy magazines when I was 12 years old, I read the articles! My Dad fixed me up with every “HO” whose name his saw written on the bathroom walls. Some parents take the simple approach and push their kids into sports and other activities they help groom manly qualities and lady like behavior. There are groups for these parents who refuse to go because they don’t want people to know that their kid is the freshest fruit on the produce stand. They would go to their Priest, but with all of the latest scandals they’re afraid that the Priest would ask their son out. Instead, they refuse to accept a true fact about their child and a part of their child’s life. Pity! Some parents along with siblings try to force a person who’s struggling with their sexual identity to stay on the road of straight. This makes a person feel that they’d lose the love of their family if they dared to come out. Fear, low self-worth, self-esteem, takes away from the power of who you are. You feel like you don’t belong in the surroundings that you’re in and you’re uncomfortable around people because you’re being something that you’re not. The song “The Great Pretender” is the song playing in the background of life. Suppressing a private, emotional, and mental part of your personal being has disastrous results. Some straight men who have problems with gay men are Queens waiting to happen! The latest topics on talk shows and questions being written to Dear Abby and the late Ann Landers whose daughter took over the column. Is about women finding out that their husbands are gay and have being had sexual relations with other men. Some of these men are close friends and were the Best men at their wedding. The same realization is being found out about wives. Shocker! Shocker! For those of you who do the park and rest stop scene, check out how many child car seats there are in the cars parked there. Also check out the hands of some of these men who sit in their cars looking petrified and paranoid about being found out then exposed. Some of the gay bashers are gay themselves with their taking out their self-hatred on innocent victims who are free in themselves. Then there’s the old adage that people who talk against gays the most, are gay themselves. My parents forced me to get married at the young age of 21 with it being my duty to be the better example for my four younger brothers. I was married for 2 ½ years that I refer to as my lesbian years! Yes, I know all there is to know about “Da Spot” and then some! Yes, I know how to spoon! I took my marriage vows very seriously, I did stand before God and said; “I Do!” I also said; “I don’t!” to men. During this time, I wasn’t happy and I felt that I was living a lie and it was up to me to face the truth about myself and expose my dark side into the light. It was during this time that I began drinking like it was going out of style and using drugs for that extra kick into total escape. I was too f**ked up to care about the strong hidden desire fighting to come without from within or how to deal with a wife and family who kept forcing the issue. An issue that was killing me spiritually, mentally, and physically! After my divorce, I traded in the book the Woman’s Erotica Zone for the Complete Man’s Erotica Zone. It came to the point where I had to ask myself; “who do you love more? Them or yourself?” To this day my Dad doesn’t believe that I’m gay, I’m confused and don’t know what I want out of life. To this day my siblings keep their comments to themselves with it being known that they really don’t care for my lifestyle. If people are uncomfortable being around me and really don’t care for me, I don’t go around them. I had to cut the family ties that were binding and drowning me in a sea of mass hell! Painful? Yes! But, at the same time I started coming into myself and living out the purpose and plan that’s intended for me on God’s Green Earth. Smokey can’t prevent forest fires and Parents can’t prevent their kids from being gay. Brush fires are a force of nature with sexual nature being a force that’s not to be reckoned with.







© Nevin Jefferson, All Rights Reserved

The Saga Continues...



Huh?



By Nevin Jefferson



The Saga Continues…. Huh?! By Nevin Jefferson

With some, the light bulb flickers as the thought process generates the brain. With others, it blows out the thought process leaving the thinker in the dark. With the rest, it sparks just enough light to give a dim view of the topic at hand. The un-experts at the International Aids Convention in Barcelona are at it again. Talk about your idiots in the dark! Their latest research findings or insult to one’s intelligence. Is that it would be just genius to wait for a person’s immune system to deteriorate to hell before starting HIV therapy. Not only would this be grand, it would be cheaper. At who’s expense? Not one dime is coming out of their pockets, so why should they concern themselves with cost? Duh? Isn’t this why we have preventive maintenance to begin with? For the sole purpose of prolonging one’s life not ending it at a rapid rate. They also conclude that early HIV treatment is the reason for people living longer which should be a good thing. They also concluded that it costs $34,000+ year plus for medication treatment for people with Aids/HIV. We’re back to costs again, gang! I’ll ask again, at whose expense? The patient? Or to save Medicare and Insurance companies money? It would be much cheaper to insure a person short-term instead of long-term. This study is based on a one conducted of 25 people versus the countless thousands who live with it. The French tossed in their findings as an effort to make it sounder. It still falls on deaf ears! These findings should have stayed lost without hope of every being found. Do you think that I’m going to believe a group of people from a Country where they use city streets as a public bathrooms, are rude, and eat strange food that moves on the plate? No way! There are different reasons for taking a “Drug Holiday” ones that make more sense than the nonsense being presented to us. One is that some people can’t tolerate the anti-viral drugs that make them sicker than the virus would in the future. Yes gang, there are people who are better off not doing an impersonation of a medicine cabinet. For this group, the drugs make them look sicker in appearance and they feel like they’re at death’s door with a broken doorbell. Their body never comes out of the body trauma that these meds cause when first used. This is when their light bulb comes on giving them a clear view of the situation that they’re dealing with. Why take medications that are causing more harm than good? Old adage has it that the Aids medications will either cure you or kill you! This hold true for the above mentioned who either go on alternative medications, Herbal viral mediations (that Medicare and some Insurance companies don’t cover due to cost.), or make peace with themselves and God and take it from there. There are a few people who refuse to get on a drug regime period, just for the general principal and not wanting to go through what they’re seeing. With them, its why prolong the agony? Not that I can blame them, but still, everything has its price. The cost is too great for their own personal reasons and logic with my respecting their decision to do such. Hey, to each his or her own. My sexy friend is talking herself blue in the face to her best friend who’s Full Blown who’s taking this route. The key factor in her taking the meds is that the woman has two kids and children need their mother. Mommy’s sick! Kids can deal with this better than Mommy upped and died on us without trying to do anything about it. The person in question does let the light bulb come on and goes on the medications until she can’t stand it any longer. My sexy friend is trying to convince her friend that Mother’s make sacrifices for their children and this is one of them. Like it or not! If you see two Black women going at it in the street, chances are that its them! There are others who take a “Drug Holiday” to cleanse their bodies from the toxics in the medications. I used to wear a tee-shirt that read; “Toxic Waste” for grins and giggles and to make people aware of the reality that I was living. You’re advised to drink tons and tons of water with the meds and throughout the day. Do some of us suffer from water bloat age? Yes! Do the most majority of Aids Viral medications have adverse effects to medications to stop water bloat age? Yes they do! Do your feet and ankles swell due to this? Yes, they do! So, do I drink tons and tons of water? No, I don’t! Does my Doctor know? Well, after reading this, he will now! There are most of us who take a “Drug Holiday” to stop the side effects caused by the toxics in the medications. My best friend who’s a long-term survivor is going through the hells of lypodystrophy and can’t take any protease inhibitors or a good number of the viral medications. He has fat pockets around his ears, no neck, and a giant buffalo hump on his back. He’s not the Leather stud that I met 16 years ago with the use of a cane not helping his ego any. He’s in total discomfort with his constantly chanting; “Lord take me now!“ He’s on the waiting list go undergo the extensive surgery needed to rid his body of this hideous deformation of obesity. The fat is embedded in his spine, which is going to add difficulty to this procedure. Of course, Medicare didn’t want to foot the bill for this until they got a life or death situation letter from my friend’s Doctor and colleagues who are leading experts in this field. A letter writing campaign followed this up from a Activist who has been there, suffered that, and still has the tension headaches from it also helped his case. I just hope that the waiting list isn’t as long as the Wall of China. Another reason for a “Drug Holiday” is when your body goes into resistance and the virus goes into mutation. Yes, this is when you become a walking SCI-FI movie. This topic has yet to come up at the Conference and since it’s a issue that merits attention, it probably won’t. When you’ve gone through every drug on the market with them all batting zero, what’s the point in taking them? Why take something that’s making you sicker than a dog to begin with when you don’t have to? Made perfectly good sense to me! Did my health improve without HIV therapy? No! My CD4 count plunged to three which I promptly named after the Three Stooges. When my health started deteriorating due to my not taking any medications did it help when my Doctor put me on a regime to keep the virus from ravishing my body? Yes and No! My CD4 count jumped up to a lucky 13 which I named after the 13 Colonies. Think quick, name them! Did the Drug Holiday help the people whom I’ve come into contact with? Not really, their CD4 counts took the plunge as well with one person naming his after the 50 States. Backwards! Think quick, recite them! So, is waiting for a person’s immune system to deteriorate before starting treatment something to celebrate about or to get shot at dawn about? Think quick, pick one! They don’t think that this will impose any serious danger towards people with AIDS/HIV. They need to conduct their research with more than 25 people, then and only then will they get a clue. Oh, these idiots do advise that you consult your Doctor before taking a “Drug Holiday”. They’re smart enough not to be held libel for any of this misinformation. The light bulb was on for that one, gang! Me? I don’t won’t my CD4 count dropping like the stock market or putting my health in jeopardy. And so what if it costs $34,000 + a year for HIV therapy, it’s going towards a million dollar ass!







© Nevin Jefferson, All Rights Reserved