...and offers some interesting insights into why online groups fail (or succeed).

shirky.com/writings/group_enemy.html

...has done or in all probablity wants to do:

1) Written a drug-crazed poem to God... which actually still made sense when I came down.
2) Put a musical setting to Yeats' "Second Coming".
3) Fought an actual duel at dawn over a sonnet I'd written to a young woman.

Don’t ever think that I am unaware,
Though by my wounds I seem both mad and blind:
I see the wheel I’ve re-invented’s square.

Though every scar my pride would scorn to share,
My skin will tear at a contrary wind:
Don’t ever think that I am unaware.

And even when my pain makes rage to flare,
I’m less malignant than I’m self-maligned:
I see the wheel I’ve re-invented’s square.

I hate to say the game’s somehow unfair.
I need to call the fates sometimes unkind.
Don’t ever think that I am unaware.

The whole thing’s mangled now, beyond repair:
This really isn’t what I had in mind:
I see the wheel I’ve re-invented’s square.

I lurk now in the cage I've made my lair.
Life’s gone and done another double-bind.
I see the wheel I’ve re-invented’s square;
Don’t ever think that I am unaware.


Easter07/April08

1. You find yourself attracted to a handsome business acquaintance who unfortunately doesn’t seem to know you’re alive. You break the ice by
a) Asking a friend to arrange a blind date
b) Teasing him with anonymous e-mail
c) Surprising him with an oversized plush toy
d) Introducing yourself over a thermos of ice-cold Daiquiris.

2. Good news. He’s taken the bait. But he’s left it to you to arrange the first rendezvous. Hoping to impress him with your sense of adventure, you invite him to join you
a) For dinner at your favourite tapas restaurant
b) Horseback riding along the coast
c) For drinks at a charming airport bar
d) To a picnic on the grave of your former husband.

3. So far, so good. You’ve been dating for three weeks now. The only problem is that he seems a bit slow when it comes to picking up the check. You respond by
a) Paying for everything: “My treat”
b) Offering to split the bill: “Dutch treat”
c) Asking if he has any financial problems you should know about
d) Causing a distraction and running out before the bill arrives.

4. Your first fight. Ten days and he still hasn’t called. Taking matters into your own hands, you
a) Write him a heartfelt letter
b) Try dating women
c) Call him and ask to meet on neutral territory
d) Sleep with his best friend.

5. You and your lover are back on track - or so you thought. Following a romantic getaway weekend he snuggles close and demands to keep a stash of “borrowed” tape decks in the trunk of your car. Your first instinct should be to
a) Remove the jack and spare tire to make room for the tape decks
b) Call the police
c) Concentrate on your career and trust that the issue will soon be forgotten
d) Say “O.K.” and then arrange to have the tape decks stored in your landlady’s basement.


6. Nobody’s perfect - you found that out a long time ago. Still, it bothers you when Mr. Right threatens your landlady with a plastic bat. The first few times, you shrug it off, but enough is enough. You
a) Suggest counselling
b) Break it off until he learns to control his temper
c) Move the tape decks to a more secure spot
d) Threaten his landlady with a wooden bat.

7. You thought the two of you were moving in together, but at the last minute he calls with a bad case of cold feet. You react by
a) Breaking it off for once and for all
b) Taking a second job to pay the exorbitant rent
c) Threatening legal action
d) Moving in with your wealthy paralyzed cousin.

8. Perhaps it’s best that you don’t live together - not yet, anyway. Your cousin makes a fine companion, but it bothers you when your boyfriend insists on wheeling her around on all your dates. The green-eyed monster takes hold, and you
a) Confront both your lover and you wealthy paralyzed cousin
b) Move yourself into an affordable studio apartment
c) Send your cousin on a cruise to Belizé
d) Arrange to have her killed.

9. After your cousin’s funeral, you decide to clear some brush from the back yard. Your lover agrees to help, and through no fault of your own, you disembowel him with a chain saw. As he’s dying in your arms, a call comes in on the cell phone - from his wife. You tell her
a) That you never realised he was married
b) To call an ambulance
c) That on the inside he was a very nice person
d) That the relationship is definitely over.


Scoring: If you answered (d) to Question No. 1. or (c) to Question No. 2, you have the symptoms of a potentially dangerous drinking problem and may want to seek professional help.