::::ENTRANCES::::

ironic

sheisherself — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 23:08:47 GMT

so why does this stuff get produced anyways? the instructions are clear do not use

it is so thin

sheisherself — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 23:06:59 GMT

lift the veil

frontyard

sheisherself — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 23:05:04 GMT

dripping

appreciating attachment

sheisherself — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 05:20:55 GMT

oh come love, come sit in a circle. oh come love, come take a stand. oh come. come love, come.

explicit

sheisherself — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:11:48 GMT

if you want to co-opt this mo-fo, go the freak ahead ready? i'll spell it out for you and your "marketing campaign".... (nice language right? it's all about the key phrases....) : breathe cultivate awareness love kindness is all open to the gentleness of forgiveness yield to grace be before you do ... the way of blind(ignorant) self-absorbed consumption is over get ahead get ahead get ahead....of what....? jeepers ... meet you when you're ready to let go into the dedication of merit

personal

sheisherself — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:20:17 GMT

it all just kindof became personal all these crap decisions and weird illogistical configurations the state of affairs the freakin' status quo freakin' war and bullsh*t ignorant consumption lack of foresight dumb sumptin' like nothin' else... what a load of bs dontchou be messin with my family you big horn whatever f u k. whatta loada ... look out awake in me is the strongest fire of fierce determination uncompromising compassion and ridiculous hooplah woompgrrrrrrrraAAAAAAAAAAaaaaooww grrr hmph .

cellular

sheisherself — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:13:44 GMT

bath in it swoosh in it cradled in it ocillation pendulum swoosh ocillation pendulum swoosh ooh ooooosh

this is...

sheisherself — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:43:37 GMT

this is naomi reporting live on the state of the nation i have seen that the wilderness is encroaching. -i find this encouraging i have seen that the service is enthusiastic -thanks for the support i have seen highways and by ways trees cut down maps to broken down places buckshot gun wounds and othersuch like that my head is in a tizz -sobering (right robinraven?) i have committed for a month to remember in the ready for the telling

hmmmm

sheisherself — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 05:51:52 GMT

http://www.koreus.com/video/telephone-portable-mais-popcorn.html and eaten too... woo

okay fine

sheisherself — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:58:17 GMT

one more... just for the joy of adding one more notch to our collective belt ----> thanks for joining the flow my friend, thank you for catching the drift, in the deepest of its currents http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229 *

sheisherself — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:33:51 GMT

seems i am on a listening kick ----> here is one of the reasons i follow the way of storytelling -----> empathizing my way into someone else's experience in order to spring into uncompromising, determined action. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIbTqNrxSV0

(solid)

sheisherself — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 19:45:38 GMT

take a moment to view this eh...can't hurt http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/279

a work in progress

sheisherself — Sat, 31 May 2008 19:09:00 GMT

How do you survive? How do you sustain your practice? Who is your audience? How do you define community? What matters to you as an artist? What are your criteria for successful work? -These questions are the ones we can't get around. They are awkward and difficult and absolutely necessary questions. . . . . -These answers are, for now, present in my self With Grace With Care Your listening heart Reciprocal Heart doing, feeling being Time

riding the rails

sheisherself — Tue, 27 May 2008 18:15:51 GMT

a great teacher and inspiration from him i learned that if i cannot dictate the conditions of my labour i will cease to work with him i sat at the table and laughed at absurd zen freaking minimalist freaking JOKES oh....wait...stories... c'mon thanks utah - - safe journeys onwards what a memory .

www.fromgaza.blogspot.com

sheisherself — Mon, 12 May 2008 00:45:25 GMT

Love and resistance in Gaza Strip -Tuesday April22nd2008 In an apparent softening of its position, Hamas has said it will accept a partial truce covering the Gaza Strip. But the lack of water, fuel and medicine has taken its toll and Palestinians continue to die of malnutrition and lack of medical resources. Mona el-Farra is a doctor and human rights activist working with the Palestinian Red Crescent Society. She is also the author of From Gaza With Love, a blog through which she keeps the world abreast of conditions under the Israeli occupation Tuesday April 22nd 2008 Doctor Mona el-Farra: I started writing in 2000 when my parents’ home was demolished by the Israeli occupation army at the beginning of this intifada. I felt strongly that I should tell people abroad about my personal experience and about what’s happening in Gaza under occupation. As a doctor working in the field and living in Gaza I witnessed so many human rights violations and I wanted people to know about it. About two years ago some friends and supporters of the Palestinian cause in Britain encouraged me to start a blog because they thought that my message was strong, but I didn’t expect the reaction – the response was overwhelming. So I continued.Gaza at the moment is a big prison, a very dire situation. Like all the community, most of the time I feel isolated, but by writing I feel that I am not alone. Other people in the world react to my writing, and I can see I am not alone – it is a sort of therapy for me.Let me describe this morning for you. For more than four weeks now we haven’t had fuel in Gaza. I have completely run out and I walk to work. I walk about 6km – or more than that because I don’t only walk to work, I have other meetings and activities that I get to by walking. I have to wake up much earlier to get there on time. While walking to work today I saw many children, women and students. Everyone was walking and there were few cars on the street. It reminded me of the curfew. The Israelis are not inside Gaza now, they are outside, but they are still controlling us. The streets are quiet, just people walking silently with grim faces. My walk is not safe or pleasant because the drones and fighters are in the sky and I can hear bombing and shelling. I don’t enjoy the walk – I feel danger. I feel for the patients who cannot reach the hospital. Many doctors, nurses and health workers come from areas outside the city – to them 6km is nothing. They cannot get to work and it is paralysing our life.Gaza is a traumatised community. Of course there is hope for peace, but people cannot see any horizon. Most people are not working. In such situations, peace becomes more valuable to people. We hope that we can live with dignity and have normal lives like other people in the world, but we are exhausted and frustrated, and spend one day to the next not knowing what will happen. But we know very realistically that our life is difficult, that we are leading a very difficult life in Gaza.Power is regular at the moment and Israel has announced it will allow fuel into the area, to the power station. But it is not enough. We are always under the threat that the power will cut off, and the generator is not enough to meet the needs of our regular routine work. Power cuts affect the patients, like those on renal dialysis, as well as our daily routine in the operating room. Much of our high-tech equipment is out of order before its time, the CT machine has been ruined and the laboratory equipment’s results are not reliable. This is the case for all the health systems in Gaza. You cannot depend on them because of lack of resources and power cuts. Because we don’t have a functioning health system we have to refer patients to other hospitals outside Gaza – children who need surgery, for example, or cancer patients who need chemotherapy and radiotherapy. The process of their referral is terribly difficult. Most of them don’t get permission to leave. Even if the hospital accepts my patient the army says: "No, this patient is allowed, that one is not allowed."It makes me angry and frustrated, but it doesn't stop my enthusiasm to keep working. I’m not allowed to collapse: I’m an activist and I should continue supporting my people, my community, my patients, so it puts an extra burden on me. I feel the burden and sometimes I am tired – but not collapsed. I believe it is my duty to do it. What keeps me going is that I feel all the time that people need me, or need my efforts. For example, I am trying to arrange for a new paediatric general surgeon to come to Gaza to carry out operations on children who cannot leave but are in urgent need of surgical intervention. If I succeed, many patients’ lives will be saved. It is the cause, the health cause, the humanitarian cause, that keeps me going. I also coordinate work in cultural centres for children in refugee camps in the Gaza Strip. I believe very strongly that these centres are important because they support children’s psychology through entertainment. Playing, dancing, painting, reading – these are important needs. OK, people are hungry in Gaza, but their psychology has collapsed; we need to help the minds of children through these activities. At least 65% of Palestinian children suffer from post-traumatic stress syndrome from living in war conditions.Support from other parts of the world is very important – some people give, but it is not enough. However, if it comes directly to the children of Gaza, to the patients of Gaza, it is going to do a lot. On another level, it would help if people wrote to their members of parliament because nothing will change dramatically unless the politics are changed.• Mona el-Farra is still looking for a paediatric surgeon. She can be contacted through her blog, fromgaza.blogspot.com. She was interviewed by Charlotte Baxter.

what we know

sheisherself — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:33:44 GMT

my heart knows the world is full of wondrous creatures and willfull ways

joy

sheisherself — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 20:25:25 GMT

we give ourselves to each other just for now

Mama I am much obliged - Thank you for your medicine

sheisherself — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:45:36 GMT

I swing from the vine of my soul mind cracked - rooted in fertile soil when i slough off the extraneous I am left with simply being : Then : Heart Broken Wide Open Now : A blank page Now and Then : Love ......

what time is it?

sheisherself — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 18:26:08 GMT

Today in the Jerusalem post office I bought: 2 stamps for Europe 1 stamp for North America 1 stamp for Israel 1 stamp for Ramallah … “Ramallah…where is this?” Asked the teller. “Ramallah. You know, Palestine? Occupied Territories? West Bank…?” She looked at me. She looked at the computer. “No – it’s not in the computer” she said. She called one of her co-workers. He also shrugged, and when she went to ask the manager what to do, he looked me in the eyes and said sincerely “We just want peace for all. Really…even if we can’t send this. Really – peace for all is all we want. Really…” he repeated himself so very earnestly. When she came back she said, “Can I ask you a question?” I said “Of course”. She asked, “Do you think Palestine is part of Israel?” I said, “No, do you?” She said “No – of course not”. She asked what it is I want to do – I explained that I want to send a thank you note to someone who helped me find a story through his book ‘Speak Bird Speak Again’. She said, “It is not possible”. She looked me in the eyes and said angrily “They are our enemy”. I want to send a post card to Dr. Sharif Kanaana in Ramallah. This postcard has an image of a green mosaic bird on the front. I want to say thank you for the story ‘The Chief of the Birds’ which I told last Wednesday as part of the ‘Two Sisters’ storytelling evening in Jerusalem. I want to tell him that the evening went well. That it was a full house. That people had shining, smiling eyes and were full of questions. That I told six stories and that his story was a bit of a bumpy ride but I did my best and hope that the bird was able to speak through me. I want to tell Sharif and Pat Kanaana that after 1.5 hours of storytelling, I finally arrived in a place where, at long last, I felt my heart open and I could speak out the enormous gratitude I had for every individual’s presence. I want to tell them that I am sorry I cannot visit, and I am sorry that I cannot share stories in Pat’s classes at Birzeit University. “People are simply too angry right now” Pat told me. I want to tell them that more than being sorry, I am frustrated (does ‘frustrated’ capture the enormous stifling quality of helpless sorrow I feel?) by humanity’s heaviness and propensity to violence and ignorance. I admit I am grateful for the incredible privilege into which I have been born; the privilege that allows me such freedom of movement – both in my body and spirit. I get to choose to say goodbye to this place. I get to choose my battles. I get to dictate the conditions of my labor. I know this privilege is not something I can take for granted. I know that all systems are fragile (on the verge of collapse), and that we humans are so delicately balanced between our innate capacity for destructive greed and apathy and our capacity for creative beauty and delight… While I am glad to be leaving this place, my heart is also broken because I have fallen in love. I have fallen even more deeply in love with Amal and Mariam Abu Regayak and their family- this tribe of strong women who gather every evening around the fire, and who go everyday to their permaculture farm to work (despite the scorn of their father, and the disbelief of the community at large). Last year I struck a deal with Mariam Abu Regayak. She told me many beautiful Bedouin stories, which I knew would be woven into the core of the storytelling event I would develop, so I said, “listen…I want to give you 18% of all the money I make during these upcoming storytelling events -18 is the Jewish number symbolizing life”. We shook hands on the deal, and I took the business seriously; my word is my honor, our stories are all we have – our words which weave reality are our greatest tool as we tell ourselves back to sanity and regain perspective on our life. (‘If people break their word, why should the stars above keep their promises not to fall?’- Ramayana). So this year, back on the farm, I presented Mariam with an envelope containing some Canadian, Swiss and American bills. She looked at me and said, “You’re joking”. I said “No”. She said, “No really, you’re joking”. I said, “No, I follow through on what I say I will do”. She said, “This is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me”. The following week I was back at the farm – weeding, moving garbage, clearing space, reading Bedouin warrior poetry, telling stories, laughing with Mariam about how really, secretly we would much rather be treated like queens… brought food, be massaged, be softly loved, be held in the arms of delight… Mariam and her sister Amal are so beautiful and strong and inspiring to me. Together we help ourselves remember. Together we know that the dream is alive - She, the Spirit, is doing well in our Presence, and we will keep telling her to life. When I left the farm, my heart hurt. Will I see these people again? Last night we were joking that the only reason the Israeli government could possibly be inspecting each of its citizen’s gas masks is cuz there is some big war move about to occur…we laughed. It’s no joke. … I write peace I be peace Breathing peace Postage stamp or no, Peace is sent around the world with every breath. …

Sickness That Comes From The Petrification Of Liquid Grief Tears (2.37 minutes of martin prechtel)

sheisherself — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 10:52:47 GMT

whew good thing i'm drinking lots of water.... thanks martin! n

open

sheisherself — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 09:43:59 GMT

. (thank you dragonfly thank you tru) all is love i remember now

The Thorn in the World’s side

sheisherself — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 10:03:10 GMT

The Thorn in the World’s side Where I have been there is no light From any Sun; we have no Moon nor Stars, No lightnings like these, much less any of this Fire. There I must light up all around me. By my sight all is illumined (Ramayana, William Buck’s version) … At night, walking to the bus stand in Ramallah, The ground beneath my feet shifted and undulated Like a giant fish was swimming below the crust of the earth (Below the cracked concrete A giant fish rubs and scratches her scales Helping to shift all perspectives) The eyes that sit on the top-side of the same concrete Appear full of boredom and anger Seem to be waiting for any excuse to close To close shut – allowing the bodies they inhabit to lash out with pent up frustration and Rage I know you know we know The blindness of the body Is nothing, Nothing When compared to the blindness of the heart. Earlier that evening, at the Friends International Center in Ramallah, I learned that by the age of three, every Palestinian child is given a sense of pride and place – can name where their village was, and what the main crops used to be… This is most wonderful I said. How important to have roots from which to draw nourishment…and I also had to ask: What is there in the school curriculum to balance the drive of Nationalism? (we could consider that the seeds of two states were planted in 1948) What is there to remind of the constant flow of change? (ie life) What is there which does not foster Attachment to a past that is irrevocably gone? (neither a statement of good or bad, as my father said : why try to count how many angels used to dance on the head of a pin? … how much more useful to learn how to stitch our pieces together …) I know you know we know The blindness of the body Is nothing, Nothing When compared to the blindness of the heart.

day 1.5

sheisherself — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 13:09:32 GMT

This made me laugh as I slog through the density of info researching and prepping to tell stories, first in Ramallah then in Jerusalem, then for my cousin's bar mitzvah, then in the Negev : from WAWA Blog March 2, 2008 (http://www.wearewideawake.org) :: "Jesus was a social justice, radical revolutionary Palestinian devout Jewish road warrior who rose up and challenged the job security of the Temple authorities by teaching the people they did NOT need to pay the priests for ritual baths or sacrificing livestock to be OK with God; for God already LOVED them just as they were: Sinners, poor, diseased, outcasts, widows, orphans, refugees and prisoners all living under Roman Military Occupation." This made me laugh less : "I was astounded to learn that in Anata, Jerusalem's refugee camp The Wall is butted up to the boy’s high school. The ‘playground’ where 780 adolescents gather is in reality a slab of cement ground about the square footage of a basket ball court. There is no view as it is walled in on all four sides by the high school, The Concrete Wall and two smaller cement walls. .. A few miles from the refugee camp, one enters into an Orwellian Disney Land of lush green grounds in the illegal colony of the Pizgatzeev settlement. I was sick at heart and in my gut when we drove less than a mile into the illegal colony for I counted three playgrounds and a swimming pool. I still wonder how many USA tax dollars helped to build them, and why the same was not done for the refugees." .... my determination waxes every moment i will not make change i am change when neither despair nor hope are possible we remain with simply this direct awake activated embodiement the spirit she is strong and the temple we have built for her is a refuge a sanctuary beyond beyond into and through and through light just to be

aha !!

sheisherself — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 00:44:21 GMT

This morning, bird songs sunshine in the angles the habit of frost, loosing its grip

an accounting

sheisherself — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 09:30:34 GMT

in two weeks plus a day i fly to tel aviv. because of a tired computer i lost my flight information (holy jeepers) but...no worries i'm gonna go anyways cuz i have several dates to honour my hightest honour i give to: my cousin on the occasion of his barmitzva daila for holding space in jerusalem for me to tell stories mariam for her courage in suggesting i facilitate a workshop for the girls of her community and... and...and.... plus and anyways i gotta go cuz i gotsa date with the wpf in basel to tell a tale or two and an encounter with our grandmother in the home of my heart, sheltered within the yurt i and adrian built deepening balm ... i'll be back in a flash to settle back in for a while - you can be guaranteed of that too....vanheedledeedledee we not be done yet and anyways i've got two more weeks here, steady on in the home front...delving deep into roots breathing like two hearts joined as one breathing breathing