For the most part, the past two days aside, life has been pretty swell, (yes, swell.)

I still have the awesome job, which I now make commission at so it's more like making $12/hr most days. I have a checking account, groceries in my house, fixing up the holes in the walls and doing other household repair, I have a savings account with $150 in it, Mike and I have been together for over 9 months, and we're planning on moving out sometime in the next six months.

The past two days have con... read more

So I have health insurance, a decent job, and soon, some money.

Life is looking up, I suppose.

Although I'm struggling with the incompetent idiots at Saratoga Mental Health Care who seem to be less in reality than myself , to try to get my medication straightened out once more. I'm really hoping that they can get it together enough to organize a psychiatrist for me and just get me back on medication.

I'm back on the "starvation diet" just due to lack of food or money temporarily. ... read more

I never come on this site anymore, I am a complete LJ whore to my very center unfortunately.

But to those who only go on tribe, or really, rarely go anywhere else, an update from Ani, not much of one, but something.

I've found happiness with a human being, true, loving happiness. We work in the strangest, polar opposite of ways, but we work. He kisses me and holds my cigarette while wearing his shirt with the "no smoking" sign on it and the caption, "There are cooler ways to die" un... read more

I am at war with my hair right now. It is naturally blonde and I am fighting to get it back that way!!!

On a more serious note, lots of bad news lately that having me yet again, searching for peace of mind and understanding of self. I realize that the human mind is one that is never a finished process, yet I constantly find myself looking for resolution, for completion. But the day that I'm complete is the day I'll want to die. It's a strange double standard.

I want to dance outside... read more

Sometimes, I can't believe the way that things work out. This applies to the good and the bad of my life. My relationship is phenomenal right now. We've had some great conversations about the future between the two of us and everything looks really great. I'm learning more and more about him and finding more and more to love. I'm learning how to handle our differences better (which are mostly extrovert/introvert based.)

Another thing is lately I've been discussing the random things that my... read more