personal happenings of i....

On the mend, Saturday's Laddingford Summer Fair, The party on the beach, Sundays party of 9 12 year old girls...and

Sharna Rose — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 23:37:19 GMT

....Jay's last day at School, Laddingford School and a lesson about Money. The photo was taken on my beautiful new phone/camera LGU990 (no excuses now for updating the website :-) it is the old bridge at the bottom of my quaint Southern English village. I'm finally on the mend...although my teeth, ear and head are still painful. I don't know whether I have tooth ache, ear ache, another sinus infection or if It is still the cold :-( Still I'm less tired and if tonights Hoop Session in the village Hall was anything to go by I am well and truly on the mend. I love dancing. On Saturday 19th I ran a hoop workshop for 3 hours. This was unpaid and all profits went to Laddingford School, the next village along. I charged £1 for a name badge which enabled the wearer to hoop as long and as often as they would like. I had no adult takers unfortunately but 10 willing little girls who all hooped with me in the display that I put on later on in the day. It was very quiet and I did not sell any hoops, I also had my angel Lilu with me, very helpful (she spent lots of money buying all sorts of rubbish that one accumulates at Summer Fairs :-) Still I had a good day even though I only raised £10 for the School. I got invited back by the Head Teacher to do three hours teaching on Wednesday the 23rd so that was good :-) In the evening Tola, Janice and I went to a beach party near Bexhill on Sea. This is where Phil grew up. It was on a pebbly beach, that's what our beaches are like in the Uk, mostly. I had a super dance, despite the fact that I was tired, we did not get there until midnight. I danced all night long until the sun came up. I love dancing. I drove home quite tired and got two hours sleep. Then after my little bit of sleep I partly decorated 10 hoops and took them to a girls party in the village. despite the fact that I was tired I had a very good time with the girls. They finished decorating their hoops and then i taught them all sorts of things. They were the perfect age and they played until the very end...there is always one who complains so I gave them a wide range of activity and they were all happy, bruised but happy. On Tuesday the 22nd Jay spent his last day at Primary School...and I'm definitely starting to feel old:-) I remember my last day at Primary School. He is off to a local comprehensive in August, end of. He got straight 5 level for his SAT's despite the teachers predicting 3's and 4's. He is going to be the type of person who can pull the rabbit out of the bag when necessary...lucky young Jay. I do so love my handsome son...and my daughter because she can read now and is nearly computer literate (how times change eh?) On Wednesday the 23rd (yesterday in fact) I spend nearly three hours teaching different kids from the entity of Laddingford School. This was very demanding... but fun :-0 I counted my training hoops, I have 62 including the very very very big one. These hoops have proved invaluable time and time again because the children who are a bit hyper can just find another hoop when they get bored with the one they have been playing with. It was very hot and I played games with them as well as just plain hooping. I had a lot of complainers...It was their last day and all the children are very tired. It was a success though. My lesson about Money... :-( I'm always asking the universe for money, I've never had it you see. I received a phone call from a gentleman offering me some work. I ask him how much money he has to pay me and he offers me £300 for the day and free tickets for the family (it is a children's festival...I love childrens fesitvals because my children are happy and the parents also get to play hooping too). So what do I say? Mrs, I got lots of money says "Oh, lets make it £200" Phil was livid with me "You have to decide whether this is a hobby or a job Sharna , that is £100 you have just thrown away" So I learn't my lesson and I now know that I should charge £300 for a days work at this sort of event :-) Life's tough lessons eh? I'm busy making tons of hoops for the summer, my forearm is starting to play up again...whinge whinge whinge :-)

poor me :-(

Sharna Rose — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 15:39:33 GMT

I feel terrible, poor me :-( My vegetables from the back garden are super full of vitamins though :-) Beetroot, Mangetouts, French Beans and Broad Beans, yummy :-) I had a strange dream last night. I've been having strange dream since I downloaded the free thing from wishforlove.com as recommended by the wonderful Kara, aka Mandala Hoops. I dreamt that I was at a festival with Skully and she had a shop, i had a shop, there were lots of hoopers and great music. I was semi awake all night cause I've got a bit of a funny tummy as well as flu like cold and horrid sore throat. Amazing thing that picture, healing crisis though, really!!! If you have not looked at the website I recommend it also. Phil sleeps with one under his pillow too.

6 year old Childrens Party, Secondary School child day and I've got a bloody cold :-(

Sharna Rose — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 19:12:04 GMT

:-( ;-( :-( poor me, I'm drinking whisky lemon laced with paracetamol, my throat feels like it has been sandpapered and I'm so very very very exhausted. I had a brilliant day today though :-) Tola and I did a day long workshop with 30 11-14 year olds. They were split into two groups in the morning, one with us, one away and then they swapped over. Tola and I did a little performance together, we did a hoop off dance to "It's like that" by Jason Nevern ? and Run DMC and they loved it! Then they choose a assembled hoop (choice of 20 mm and 25 mm) with two layers of glitter as a guide and then they put their own electrical tape on. This keeps the cost down to £6 per hoop (the holo tape I have a surpluses left over from the heart order - the red holo I used came in a packet with three other colours) To add gaffa would be a waste of expensive tape since they wreck them quickly anyway by doing roll backs on the floor. Then we taught some basic moves and watched them as they inspired us with their creative play...amazing. In the afternoon we showed them some hooping performance from the States, I did check that the Nipple tassles in the Grove hoop demo reel from 2005 was ok, the teacher said that she was not sure on the nipple tassle policy but if it was quite quick then that was ok. They then choose some music and went off to work on a short routine, an emphasis on telling a kind of story with grand opening, thrilling middle and definite end. I was so impressed with their skills, they had only been hooping today and they were fantastic, their routines were very good. At the end of the week they get to keep the hoops but they are going to make a Chinese dragon with them to do a opening ceremony for the Olympics for the parents on Friday. The boy hoopers were great fun to work with, really excited and so were the teachers, it was great fun for all involved and i would love to do this sort of thing again one day...they'll all be bruised tomorrow mind! Yesterday, Sunday the 13th July, Tola and I did a childrens party for 20 6 year olds. This was considerably harder and less well paid but it was good experience and loved by the children. They were a little to young really but still the mother was happy and may hire us for and adult party, this would be right up my alley way I tell you. Hula hoop games come into their own in a party for 6 year olds. Right I'm off to bed, I'm feeling a bit squiffy really, my throat still hurts mind but I care less now :-)

Tonight I am Karen Carpenter, A Confession and Glastonbury update.

Sharna Rose — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:40:19 GMT

Tonight I went to the Pre-school 70's/80's disco in the village hall :-) Even though my children are no longer at pre-school (Jay is going to secondary in September) I am still on the committee, and I help them whenever I can and attend events that they put on. I went as Karen Carpenter (I would have photo's but all my techno stuff does not no longer work :-( even Phil's £300 camera has kaput). So to give a better picture as you have no reference, I wore a cow print catsuit, real 70's rodeo stylee: tight and flared at the bottoms, the cowboy boots that I wore in Las Vegas for my sisters wedding in 2005 and the fake fancy dress cowboy stetson hat worn on the same occasion. I have had my hair cut with layers and I looked pretty good (this is not something that I say about myself often...in fact I rarely say I look good, Phil nearly feel over when I uttered those words, he then asked if many men would be going (not a chance, and even if they were I'm a look at the floor type of gal anyway...cause I only have eyes for my honey :-) The music really took me back to being at school. Funny that these tunes are now the oldies. When I was younger it was the 60's and 70's that were the oldies! My how I've grown :-) My confession is that I have been drinking beer again. I know that it is no good for me but occasionally I have been indulging. I guess I feel left out when I'm totally clean and I don't really indulge all that much...I don't know why I am trying to explain myself, I am an adult, 35 years old y'know. Still I really want to be clean as I feel that indulging in extra's makes me lose my connection somehow, not in the short term, as it can connect but rather in the long term. Do you know what I mean or am I talking rubbish. It's all relative I guess, our experiences are our own but I welcome input? So the best part about tonight was the hooping...oh how shallow I am, how addicted!!!! I did some hooping in the middle but at the end the dj put on some love songs and at this point I slow danced with my hoop :-) It was f**king wicked. No toes stomped on, no hot sweaty man breathing down my neck, no erection dangerously pointed at my hip, no suction on my neck, just me and my unlit psi hoop in this awesome dance of pure bliss :-) :-) :-) Then as an after thought the dj put on one last song, "just like a prayer" by Madonna....well on went the lights and I had the most beautiful semi intoxicated dance that I have ever had :-) I love my hoop, I love this dance partner that has no expectation and leads me into the most beautiful experiences possible :-) So back to Glastonbury.... it seems like such a long time ago now. I worked hard but I did learn some important lessons. I must routine my acts... I must stop resisting it...What am I resisting I wonder?, why wont I do it? I have such issues about ego, about being an elevated performer, about being unreal, doing something over and over again that is perfectly executed but not in the moment...God it's difficult. I know I must do it though. Funny that I got that feedback before I left and it made me resist more but actually in context it was very relevant. Who are you performing for, for the audience or for the other performers? My act is as yet unclassified, and new so I guess that stands in my favor, it's what makes me different, I'm not a circus act, I'm not a stand up, not a unicycle act, nor a juggling act, nor a clown act, nor an ariel act, I am a hoop dancer and this is new, this is different. So why do I feel like I am shit? Well those issues are a whole different discussion for another day...it's late now :-) I must just shout out to the vast talent that is the creative force made manifest in man and presented to me at Glastonbury festival. The music, the sculpture, the creative intelligence, the acts the whole great wonderful show. Mankind can be just amazing and at times I am so glad to be part of it :-) This picture should be viewed the other way and is part of a collection called "snaps from the life of a hula hoop addict"

Getting ready for Glastonbury

Sharna Rose — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 09:24:59 GMT

Well here we are again, last minute Sharna. One day I'm going to be super organized and be ready with routines that are super slick and perfectly timed to the music, all my body parts will be actively engaged and I'll look like a dancer off MTV or one of those shows :-) Actually I'm being a bit sarcastic, really! I would like to be more together, but I don't know if I ever will, I am the way I am and at 35 years old you know yourself more than any other time in your life. I know that I have the power to change this patterning, this resistive element, I do work on it :-) As for the body part jibe that is my response to a bit of constructive criticism that I received in my Inbox regarding the inactive and sloppy use of my body, my stumbling and falling :-) The feedback was very valid for someone who truly cares what they look like in terms of being analyzed by an audience. I never think about these things because I'm too busy with being present when I hoop, to come back to the visual of the body would seem like sacrilege, but perhaps I'm too far up my spiritual sphincter. I am grateful for the feedback and it has given me something to think about and it has helped me to define myself even further. I think all things come at the right time, my toes and hands will become active at the correct time :-) I think if I focus on the external I will lose my sense of play of discovery and that is what gives me joy not looking smooth in terms of being a dancer in the visceral world in which we live. When I'm dancing, without a hoop, I really know how to ride a beat though and I don't give a s**t whether someone else thinks I look like a puppet . When you are on the dance floor having fun, feeling the beat do you try to look like your dancing on a show? So here we are, no routines, one bit of music, one costume....nail biting and stress :-) For some reason I become compelled to clean the house from top to bottom when I go away. I can turn into a raging nightmare but I am calm. That 15 min miracle is marvellous :-) Just in case anyone from the Uk reads this and might be going to Glastonbury, I am 'performing' (Ha! Dancing sloppily I'll have you know!) 1.25 and 4.40 everyday on the Outside Circus Stage and this is followed by a workshop. If it rains :-) then I'm going to go to sleep. Phil and I shared our 6th wedding anniversary on the 21st. We has a wicked night, I love him so much, I am so lucky :-) We are going to Glastonbury together without kids this time.

The end of the plateau (yeah!), The Global Rhythms Festival and a rant about Ketamine.

Sharna Rose — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 09:32:22 GMT

The picture is one of my mothers works of art. Well I appear to be nearing the end of my plateau, which is truly welcome. Since I went to Morocco I have felt stunted and backward in my hooping connection and the time spent in the Vippassana really made me question my motives about ego. I have been listening to Eckhart Tolle and the audio version of "The power of now", which is truly fantastic car listening and the positive brainwashing far surpasses that of the continual playing of pop music from the radio. I have really been working on my consciousness and now I am coming out the other end of this work feeling really ping. Infact it is music that really was the key in shifting me, particularly the Highlight Tribe and System, I seem to relate to trance music very well, it contains a lot of information somehow :-) The Global Rhythm Festival om the 7th June, was amazing. On facebook you can see pictures and read feedback from the day at this link http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=24707160659 . Here is a short bit of video taken on the day of Tola and I dancing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3h_wUBZLD3s and me holding a cup, after demonstrating Caroleena's cup way of learning to pick up the hoop from the front or from the back http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=fwNWXKA5KQ4 . It was a great clean wholesome day of connection and good energy. Hooping in drum circle is just outright amazing experience, daunting if you are not a natural performer though. I'm not going to go on about Ketamine that much, because I don't want to give it that much energy. I feel second place sometimes in my relationships with my friends who are always looking for the easy way to get conscious and to numb the pain of life (the cost of addiction just lurking because the demons of the unconscious ego always looking for that element for completeness). I'm not saying that I feel superior in any way it's just that I've gone beyond that, the serious heavy chemical bliss, it is no longer an option. I feel closer to nature and my highs come from listening to music these days, or sitting in the sun on the grass listening to the birds, being in my hoop with my bare feet on the ground. I feel that plant teachers give closer to source results in more gentler ways, they are not recreational though and involve deep work. However I do believe that any experience that separates the mind body connection will open you up and allow your consciousness to expand, but caution is necessary with this dictatorial ego that manages this dimension. Heavy duty stuff to discuss on this Wednesday morning...please Universe, provide for me some friends who can connect in the same way as me (oh god there goes my ego again :-)

Camden Green Fair, Sinus infection and honouring myself.

Sharna Rose — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 23:14:59 GMT

On Sunday the 1st of June (where did those past 5 months go?) I took all my hoops to the Camden Green Fair in Regents Park, London. I was not paid for my long day (7am - 9pm) but was able to sell my hoops, this covered my expenses and left me with some money to put back in my overdrawn business account (in the past money management has not been one of my strong points but I am seriously working on it...thanks to the 15 minute miracle and the marvelous Miss Rosie for sending it in my direction :-) ) It was a wonderful day and despite losing several workshop hoops many new connections were made. I also connected with Alex from the synergy spinners and the lovely Silvia (whom I had a go at double hooping with :-)) The next day I spent 14 hours in bed. This is not normal for me, even with all the hard work the day before. I awoke to discover the funny pain in my teeth that I suspected of being an infection was indeed a sinus infection and I felt like s**t. I was going to unpack the car but I was useless in fact and did nothing really that day. The next day I was a right state. I was totally exhausted and spent a lot of it crying with self pity and with snot running down my tear streaked face. I was in such a poor me state. It is near on impossible to get a dr's appointment around these parts so I opted for the drop in surgery (this is always touch and go too). Today I got an appointment. I was in and out in 2 min's. I then spent 1 hr waiting for the prescription. I knew that they had forgotten about me but I kept looking at the sign "we will call you when your prescription is ready". I worked myself up into a state waiting... not moving...not saying "Here I am...you have forgotten me". When I left the surgery I had a very cathartic moment and cried a lot. The episode really relates totally to my life and the way that I sit back and get forgotten, waiting for life to bring my prescription (tee hee). I have learn't lots from this happening, I have to stand up more often and say "Here I am life" "Don't forget me". Seriously though, I know that Life cant possibly forget me, at least while I am alive, but I do need to define myself in order for Life to know what to give me. So its all good again. Phil is such a Zen master though, whilst I'm sobbing my heart out to him on the phone he says "only yesterday you complained that you never get to sit down and relax, and look...you got a whole hour today" I just want to clarify something about my friend Tola. I love Tola dearly, she is one of my oldest friends and greatest teachers. She is also a wonderful hoop dancer who is unique in her own way, as different in her style as we are in personality. I may have upset her recently by coming home to myself and this was not my intent at all. She has had a tough time in the past 12 years and has emerged, mostly thanks to the hoop, clearer, wiser and more defined. By coming home to myself I guess I had withdrawn a bit and I think she felt that I was upset with her. I had made remarks about her abilities as a performer at our hoop club and had said that I was not like this, I put myself down but somehow I managed to make her feel put down, this again was not my intent. We had an honest discussion on the phone tonight about honoring ourselves and staying true to who we are. I think that it is wonderful that I can be honest with my friends and that they can be honest with me. So it is midnight, I'm taking my anti-biotics and co-codamol, I should be in bed but I have tons to do. Why is there never enough time? I love my children but this hoop business is so much tougher when you have a family. How can you travel everywhere and perform and sell, make hoops and clean your home? How? I'm like superwoman sometimes....and then sometimes I'm supersad woman. Tonight I'm just cruising my jobs....I should have made the most of that hour... never happy me :-) ps. The picture is a little sculpted model made by Angie (of hulahooper.com i.e that fatboy slim video winner :-) )

15 Minute Miracle, Spring Small World 2008, Spell Weaver and Other Opportunites that are opening up.

Sharna Rose — Thu, 29 May 2008 02:20:19 GMT

So I've nearly completed the first 21 days of my 15 minute miracle and I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that my life is changing in so many positive ways. I am much more positive and balanced about my life and the 'problems' that occur. One day early on I was doing it in my garden and my friend Tola came over she scathingly said "is it working yet?" She had received a text from a man she had met a month or so earlier inviting her to the "funky delhi love lounge". I told her to reply and she did, saying that we could do hoop dance. From that it seems that we have now got paid work to dance at the launch of the man who is operating under the name Spellweaver. Me met him and were unsure, as we could not find him on the internet but whilst being at the small world we came across a flyer (it is for real <jumping for joy>). Other things that have manifested are childrens parties, older childrens parties. Lots of them all over the place. I may have sold myself short on the price but this is something I am working on in myself right now, value, so its all good. The Small world was great. I'm going to be honest here and I feel safe expressing myself, that I do not feel open and exposed. It is my blog and documenting it helps, the written word is so powerful, even if it is in the public domain. I had my usual healing crisis that I have there but out of it I found myself clearer and more defined, it was definitely a butterfly emerging kind of moment, or a child taking a first real step (not a faltering one). I'm thankful for the festival space created by all the people present, a space for you to heal, or have fun or just connect. I was a good good good girl, only drinking in a negative way on the Sat night. While my friends participated in various activities that I can no longer engage in, for both physical and spiritual reasons, I turned to the booze in some desperate attempt to fit in. However it was instantly depletive and it left me feeling out of my power but as the drink was one of the ingredients that led me to the cathartic moment I must be grateful for the experience. On the Sunday Morning I awoke depressed and feeling very depleted. The day before had been hot and I had been giving my ususal amonunt of hoop love and joy to whomever came to play with my lovely hoops. My assistant, my friend Tola, was unable to arrive until later on in the day, so I guess I was shattered. Cat, someone who I introduced to hooping at a previous Small World was camped next to me. She had a fire hoop and I had two so we all, Tola included, decided that we would join in with the daunting fire show all together making a female trinity in an otherwise masculine event. I think I worked myself up into a frenzy about it, a large audience used to very interactive characters, something I'm not. We were all fairly nervous but it went down a treat with everyone. Tola is definitely a natural performer as well as a great teacher, she is a people person, she loves to be the center of attention, she has always been this way and I am not the only person to acknowledge this. I am not a natural performer, in fact the hoop is healing me on many levels and teaching me to accept that people are going to look at me when I hoop, I've kind of been gently nudged by life into a lifestyle that was not really me, I guess it is now. I naturally find it hard to talk to people, obviously if it is about hooping (and now the 15 Minute Miracle) and about how it has spiritually changed my life then I can waffle for eternity. Not everyone wants to hear this, some people want to talk about the visual aspect, the sexiness of the performance and in these cases I feel extremely out of place and then it is all to easy to want to be like someone else, someone who appears to have everything you don't in relation to these aspects. Later on in the evening we were in the white dome and I suggested lighting up the hoops and playing with them (we have 8 all together now!). We attracted Chopper into the crazyness of the dome, he runs another festival and was really keen to have the light hoops there. He loved the atmosphere, the weirded outness of it. This is when my crisis started. I felt pushed to the side and very wobbly. I felt a poor communicator, I felt useless and rubbish, crap, terrible, powerless and unimportant. Despite having the wicked idea and attracting the man I was not sure if all this was what I wanted. Chopper liked the madness, something that I was not part of, he liked the performance of it all, the crazy crazy direct nature...I did not belong here...so I went to bed. I cried on waking up. I mean I really sobbed and sobbed my little heart out. I bumped into my friends who had been up all night, they were radiating pleasure. I felt out of place with them, in a big big way. I could not connect with them fully at all, all day. They were unable or unwilling to help me with the workshops so yet again I had another day without an assistant. So at this point I fished out my 15 minute miracle and worked on the pre set miracle for liking and loving yourself. My goodness me, what a change occurred, it was not so much 15 minute miracles but instant miracles. All day people praised me for my goodness and my shiny soul, children hugged me and thanked me, adults smiled and I felt so loved by the universe. I don't call the concept God as this name but oh my god did I feel differently. I realised that I may not be a performer naturally but I so like to share, so openly and freely and this is in my mind very very important. I also came to decisions that I give myself away too often, I will always put myself in second place and this is dangerous, some people will take and take....but only because 'I' give. It is me that gives my power away. No one is too blame. Life is all just a set of lessons and as far as I can see we need to learn these lessons quick, for time appears to have sped up we need to process this and change our programming in time with this shift. Sunday evening they all went to bed, everyone that I knew really well. Phil had gone back home, Lizz, my mother had left also. I was so nearly going to bed, a bit huffy because I was feeling lots of love but had no playmates, when a sweet angel tripped over a log by my feet and invited me into the "full circle" tent. He told me that there were 500 paying punters at the small world and 500 performers, making a 1 on 1 ratio, one performer for each paying person. His mate Brie was singing and playing the guitar, she was talented poet singer who really made me laugh. I left the full circle and nearly went to bed but then thought I'll go back and have a cup of chai before doing so...I'm a big girl I can handle being by myself. What happened next was nothing short of a miracle. The next act was just amazing and I know in reality that she was not just for me but oh my goodness it felt like it. I was sitting in a perfect line in the tent, very central and pointed directly in line with her on the center of the stage. Circles and lines, powerful things in my mind!!! Teresa Gabriel was her name and every song just resonated with me on a tremendous scale, she literally sang about all the things that had gone through my mind in the day and her answers were direct from the miracle manual. She is a talented young angel who is so evolved for her age and I recommend her music....perhaps you needed to be there though in the live music environment in this beautiful circular space to truly feel it like I felt it that night. The Monday was wet and damp. Tola got up in the morning and went home, she took Lilu with her, which I truly appreciated. I did not really get the hoops out until the afternoon and I left them quite free range. I was doing my miracle in the full circle again. In one section you ask for help and I wrote, Give me a sign or something like that. As I dotted the sentence the lead singer of the band "opaque" shouted out "Its a bloody Miracle" and this day also turned out to be full of wonderful things with gratitude just flying all over the place. The people left at this stage of a festival want to be there for the atmosphere despite the wet, muddy and damp environment. I really appreciated the Small World this time, much more than many other times. The music was spectacular, the musicians were fantastic, you don't need to be out of your head to have a good time. It's what you make of it, and for me my realizations have been extremely transformative. I know I am on the right path, I must stay true to my own essence and only give when I want to give, not just because it is a habit left over from my childhood, I am different now, those old dated patterns no longer apply, i have evolved and I have grown....you know what? I really really really really love life and all it has to offer. post script: Things to work on: Why don't I smile when I hoop? I love to hoop, it gives me great joy, so where is my smile? Instead of being so inner I need to allow myself to receive from the outside when I hoop. This is not about ________________________pretending to be someone I'm not this is about allowing myself to accept who I am and to shine brightly. Must fix video camera as I use it as a mirror and I have been feeling uninspired without it.

Ecstatic Dance and the Primary School fair.

Sharna Rose — Tue, 20 May 2008 22:58:29 GMT

Last Friday I went to a dynamic drum circle and then danced at a ecstatic dance. What a pokey old night energy wise. On the journey there I was reading my 15 minute miracle and looking in the section about compliments, I thought that I would like a compliment to put in it, shut the book and a lady on the train said "you look lovely dear with your beautiful clothes and lovely hoops. :-) Well that was the start of the night. At the dynamic drum circle I got to hoop inside the circle for 5 mins. I was using a store brought hoop which I have not really played with yet, so light but quite uncontrollable, a bit like a small bubbly child...but wow what energy, I was sweating buckets at the end of it. The dance was Amoda style. I have never shook for a whole 10 mins before. Lots of sweat and animalistic dance. After doing a version of breath of fire I became quite feline. I ached so much after wards on the train home but what a night. Shivani is my great new friend and a good input to my life...she was the lady I met at the very end of the last ever synergy party, the one Tola and I ended up at by accident (?) On Sunday I did my bit for the local school that my children attend by running a hoop workshop type thingy. It went down very well, Phil told me early on that when I turned you could see my knickers so I was a bit uncomfortable. He always jokes about me being a MILF, cheeky sod. I do love him and I am so grateful for him being in my life. The picture is from my new business card. I love Photoshop. I love Phil, I love having acess to website and I love life, I freaking love it. kisses.

30 second fame, that's me

Sharna Rose — Sun, 18 May 2008 10:30:03 GMT

I'm right at the beginning, oh no what a lemon http://www.yourkenttv.co.uk/community/tvpopupnew.aspx?aid=9119&vid=3302

The Gay Club, Radio 1's Big Weekend in Maidstone and my new tattoo.

Sharna Rose — Tue, 13 May 2008 02:07:19 GMT

On Friday night Tola and I went to Coyotes in Chatham to dance with our hoops. It was a very quiet night but that was good because we got the small dance floor all to ourselves - for a while until the few people there wanted to dance. A Dj from a club in Brighton came with a friend of his who is going to make a video for his new song and he just happened to be interested in our hooping. So fingers crossed, I think that the tide is turning, Thank you Miss Rosie for your wonderful input of positivity into my life. The Radio 1 Big Weekend, i went on Saturday, was great. My son did not want to stay long, bless him, the tickets were like gold dust and I could have taken any of my friends...got to love your little darling children no matter what they do. I blame Usher myself, since we were sat outside the main stage waiting for the Hoosiers, who Jay loves. I hooped to Usher but I'm a bit of a hoop slut I guess, cause I'll hoop to anything. Jay however was not feeling Usher but was feeling the roasting hot sun. When the Hoosiers came on he was a bit disappointed "They don't sound like they do on the radio Mum!" So he went home. Luckily my mate Jenny was there with her boyfriend so I hung out with them. I did a shed load of hooping and when I was not hooping I was dancing. For the first time ever at a event in Maidstone I got positive feedback from everyday people, girls particularly. One horrid man told me that I would look better in a leotard....yeukkk! My skirt was getting in the way but it was pretty and I'll never ever ever ever ever wear a leotard, not even as a costume, it would look shocking horrid if I did. I did not get spotted however. I did get my photo taken a few times, by Radio 1 official photographer, photographer for the Kent Messenger, a video for kent on Sunday (or something like that) on line, lots of people on their mobile phones (I found this really bizarre - I guess they are going to show their friends). Back stage in the vip area the female dj's had a hula hoop and were having a competition - oh the irony, the sweet sweet irony. I guess that this just was not the right time. I did have great day though and enjoyed watching Madonna from a distance ( I dont like being crammed into tents). I'm paid for the Hoop Girl level 2 training....yipee! Today I had my tattoo done. It is beautiful.

Bank Holiday Family Holiday

Sharna Rose — Mon, 05 May 2008 21:45:38 GMT

Just come back from a three day camping holiday in Wiltshire with the family. We had such a wicked fantastic time, everything was perfect. The weather (it only rained at night, the fishing for the men (from the river outside the tent door), the kids play area in the garden of the pub we were camped outside and the company. We were camping with good friends of ours, who have small children, one the same age as Lilu and the other is three. We did lots of fishing and I caught my first ever trout, it will probably be my last because I felt so guilty. The day I left to go camping I received a package from America, from MissRosie Love. She had sent me a 15 Minute Miracle kit and givingcoin (www.thegivingcoin.org ). The giving coin is an amazing idea and I already have someone in mind to receive it next. The 15 Minute Miracle is brilliant. I read lots of it on the way to our camping experience and everything went really well. We did not get stuck in traffic and it was not raining when we arrived at the campsite. In fact the whole little holiday was just perfect, all the adults and the children agreed that the holiday was a miraculous success. Together we created a beautiful time and we had lots of luck from nature as well. Thank you Miss Rosie. The other thing I liked is the North Star icon thingy used by the 15 minute Miracle book. I have been looking for a tattoo to go on my right hand to signify love, to twin the gratitude symbol on my left hand. I really think that I have found it now. The photo is a mobile camera point and hope for the best, sabotaged by son jay making me grimace like a insane jester. But...it shows my happy family, something that I really am grateful for. I love them all so much and they bring me such joy. I'm so in love with them. I am so lucky.

just call me iron foot

Sharna Rose — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 21:44:18 GMT

Last night we had a few people around for dinner. My dad brought around "i am legend" and we decided to watch it. I am very sensitive to films, especially scary solo men in towering streets, and I found it very tense...even though not a lot was happening. Everyone else was bored by it. As I was getting more and more scared...making excuses to make everyone coffee and getting drinks..everyone else was getting more and more fed up with the lack of actual activity. My friend mentioned how loud the sound was and did this keep the kids up so I went to the sound system to turn it down but I overlooked my other friends glass on the floor. I swear i only touched it with my food, i did not kick it but it shattered all over the room..it literally exploded. That was how much I did not want to watch the horrid rage zombie infected people of the future film. Serious chi. We were all gob smaked. Everyone thought it was more exciting than the film. We had to hover the house this morning and move all the furniture. I went to the spinners again this Friday...guess what? There was a party on so it was cancelled. I did manage to stay and hoop for a bit, Silvia did come too so I did get to meet her. She was lovely. If I was not on my own I might have stayed at the party but its not so good when you are 35 and on your own with lots of 20 somethings. I made a website for my mother this past week www.ilovestickybackplastic.com (made with iweb) Any feedback is more than welcome. My web site is now in my hands and due to be put on another server, we just have to do something with pointers (?). I am going to up date and change the whole thing. I'm also working on another website called www.sheephurstshowjumps.com (a free template from the web). I've also got a new outside hoop space http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=OzWK4-AYQhM Hooping was so interrupted by Lilu that it 'aint all that but the space is marvelous.

Divine Timing

Sharna Rose — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 11:00:48 GMT

Card Meaning: Pay attention to doors that are opening and shutting fro you right now. Walk through doors that open, and learn from the doors that are shut. Your prayers are being answered; there is no doubt about that. However, everything operates according to the Universal Laws of Divine Timing. This means that certain peices of the puzzle must first fall into place so that other parts can come into fruition. If you try to skip or rush certain pieces or parts, the whole plan will lack a solid foundation. Dont try to force open any doors that appear closed to you. Instead, ask your angels for guidance to see if th edoor closed beacause of negative expectations or if it's simply a sign of Divine Timing. Look for other doors that do open, and walk through them with faith and gratitude. I pulled this card out of my angel healing pack before I left to go out yesterday at 1700 hrs. I assimilated the info on the way up to London, Tola and myself decided go to the synergy spinners event, held a the synergy center http://www.thesynergycentre.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=61&Itemid=111 It was going to cost us £18.30 for entrance and train fair, which is a quite expensive for a hoop but it looked good and we wanted to meet up with other hoopers. The class teacher is Silvia http://uk.youtube.com/user/stregai or you can dance freely downstairs. I had some funny feelings about the spinners this week because the synergy project were putting on another party in the SE1 club http://www.thesynergyproject.org/content/view/250/ but the email that I send did not go and therefore we just winged it. I noticed on the platform that my psi hoop was not charged up.....Boo Hoo! When we got off the train at London Bridge we saw some girls with hoops we giggled to each other but got the tube and headed to the synergy center, arriving at 1900 hours. It was empty, there was no workshop happening and no spinners event. Everyone had gone to the SE1 club on London Bridge. So off we trapsed back to London Bridge arriving 2000hrs, we had decided that we would go to the Synergy project event with our hoops, £15.30 train ticked, £20 ticket in, £12 train ticket back this morning, £10 on the cloakroom and £10 on bottled water - phew that was a steep hike up on the original £18.30, expensive hoop!!!!!!!!!!!!!We also had to wait around till 2200 hrs pm to get in. Well the divine timing was perfect. My psi hoop would have been perfect in it's beautiful smallness in the club but oh well. I played with my 32 inch hoop with fluro pink tape but is was still a bit invisible. We got about 1 hour, if that, of hooping in. In the toilet I met Jessie who trained with Christabel last year, she was up from Bornmouth with her friends and they had the most amazing lyra costumes on. jessie did not recognise me....I guess I look different with shoulder length black hair and without my glasses. I did have the most wicked hoop to a collection of young musicans who played gypsy romanianian music that was so fast. We had to stop so that the other people could dance in the space we used up. I have not been to bed yet and this is all totally natural....I have such energy and dancing really fills me with something special. I know I am on the right path by not drinking or indulging in man made chemicals. Do you know what I can dance my little socks off like all those youngsters full of mdma, cocaine and other drugs. I get so high just by being in the energy of this collective of energy. I was rushing to the trance music, really feeling those mental running on a treadmill kind of beats. Dancing to rock and roll, which by the way I believe to be the perfect hoop music. Then at the very end we had a hoop with this wicked woman who gave me a flyer to an event, an ecstatic tance dance event!!! There was a link on this to the Osla Leela group in Gillingham. I am going to contact them to see if we can have a monthly hoop dance meet, like a hoop disco. Last weekend Tola had a party, this was another night of being up all night, again totally natural :-) I'm so proud of myself. It was a burlesque night and our Friend Ron DJ'd. It was a fantastic party. Tola won the Hyperloops competiton with her move and I came second, we were the only ones to enter and only one other person other than Tola and I voted....this is what I mean about us British Hoopers, why did no one else enter as there are lots of us out there...I don't understand. We all do different things we are all unique. I don't understand how that so many of the hoopers at the synergy did not know about Tribe and youtube for films? I guess I feel that if you are truly addicted to something you access the internet to find out more..perhaps these youngsters are not net savvy.it is interesting how the hooping thing is going in this country. It certainly is spreading in the alternative community. I did two kids parties recently and I dont really like them much. I am not an assertive person and I think that kids can see right through me. Little boys are little buggers, and little girls are really quite sweet and actually interested. Still I feel it needs serious organisation if it was to work using me. Ok better get off this before Phil comes in and tells me off. Love love love I'm sorry I missed you know the peace...i really wanted to come to your set at 4 am...but i was dancing, dancing, dancing.

Stillness

Sharna Rose — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 21:27:48 GMT

Well finally getting around to documenting my Vipassana experience. I can only but recommend this technique to everyone but I am aware that it is not for all people. My second course was really rather special. It was hard, one can not doubt that but I worked very hard and did not skimp any of the sessions. I really did meditate for 100 hours. I came to many realizations whilst under the illusion of being alone, many to do with who I am now in relation to the hoop. I am not going to post so many video's on line anymore...I feel that I am waisting too much time on line in general. So a more organized, calm, centered Sharna has emerged, one who is more equanamous with her life, her very small life. I'll still check in tribe but perhaps once or twice a week rather than everyday. I'm still mediating now, not for as long but I try to do 2 hours a day. I am not following in any sect and I am still going to Yoga....todays session on the heart was phenomenal. I've been to the club once since my return, I felt rather ill that night so we did not stay long. My hooping is different, my connection to my hoop has not returned yet.. it will, I'll just be patient. I've just started taking the MMs again but my diet has been terrible..time to get it back into check. I started using wheatgrass before I went on the course but I think I didnt really like it, perhaps I'll try again. gratitude, joy, peace and happiness Sharna

Well then...

Sharna Rose — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:43:57 GMT

I'm off in the morning to a vipassana, http://www.dhamma.org/en/goenka.shtml . 10 days of silent meditation for roughly 10 hours a day...<nibbles nails>. I so need this right now. It could not have come at a better time for me. I am so un-present these days, well I'm certainly present when I hoop but I cant realistically do that all day...not for want of trying I might add. I know that I will return from the following difficult days more calm, more focused, more connected energetically with life, connected in stillness of mind. I'm not allowed to hoop, read, write, phone, talk, dance, meet eye contact with anyone.....sounds fun doesn't it....I am so hardcore!!!! On Friday there is a special world wide mediation for global peace, I don't know who might believe in any of this but it seems so fitting for me to be sitting in a hall with many people while this is happening http://www.kachina.net/~alunajoy/solarwave2008.html To log...Since my return from Morocco I have been to the Maidstone Club twice with Tola: 4th of March and last night the 18th March. Both times I danced hard and long to pumping music and I loved it. All those natural body chemicals pumping through my body, all that cleansing sweat (which I still feel a bit mixed about). I love that I can just be present and not care, it is not a performance for me but pure pleasure on a huge circular dance floor. I love to be alive during these moments, even when my knees start hurting and my back whinges...to be alive. On Friday the 29th February I went to Brighton with my good friends Janice and Tola and we went to some Psy Trance gig in the concorde 2. I had a brilliant time dancing from 12 - 5am without a single drop of the alch or any thing else. I had a wicked dance with my hoop from 3 - 5am. I was twirling and whirling and swooping and leaping. I actually engaged with people. Before I had a hoop I loved to dance but I had nothing to say to strangers...I found the whole conversation, that glib party people conversation empty and I felt false. Now I can wax lyrical about the hoop and I feel like I belong. I love it when a girl or woman watches and she has that look in her eye, that "I can do that, I'm sure I can". On the following Saturday I went to the Concorde again...but this time I came out with my Honey. We went to see System 7 and Eat Static. I had yet another great dance...I should write more often about these things because now I feel very lucky...all week I've been feeling sad and grumpy, perhaps it is because I am going on the Vipassna and my ego is pissed off with me...anyway I digress. I was a tiny teeny weeny bit naughty this time and boy oh boy did I regret it. My body can handle all night dancing without any additives but stick something alien into the equation and boooooom! Slllaaaaaaaaaap! This does not happen though until three days later and then it lasts for weeks. From our mistakes we learn the greatest lessons...why is that, eh? I was still a good girl though really and I had a wonderful time dancing to Eat Static, they were so brilliant. Phil is in lots of pain these days, bad knees, bad hip...mispent youth of football and raves. So at one point I was dancing and he was sat down, I danced about him like the little pixie I am when I go for it. Apparently some people came up to talk to him about me, which he loved. We had a brilliant night out together. Then last Saturday 15th, my mother and I went to run a 4 hour workshop for the Sports Relief in Strood. It was in a secondary school, not massively attended but enough lovely children for me to feel that perhaps I should be going into schools and teaching. The woman who organised the event was well made up with us and promised that she would write some funding referals which is really good. I had one little girl who just shone brightly, she was beautiful too. She was not afraid of who she was and she seemed to know exactly where she was going in life. I've also been preparing stuff for funding, helping get the Lighten Up arts book keeping into order. I have reinstalled my syestm software and put back most of the music/ movies/documents etc on the computer....phew! I'm also taking Miracle Mineral Suppliment in order to clean out some of the heavy metals in my body, I'm kind of hoping that my thyroid will improve and when I go to the doctor next he will say..."It's amazing Mrs Bevan, your thyroid is better, we will drop your medicine for the next 6 months"!!!!! I've got to be a good girl because I want to get well. waffle waffle waffle waffle waffle. Must go to bed. Peace. Wish me and my monkey chattering brain good luck.

Another long post!!!!!!

Sharna Rose — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 20:51:49 GMT

Nearly one month on from my last post, I must be slacking. Actually I think I am a bit of a slacker in general - I try not to be but I am. I think I am lazy, no I know I'm lazy. All my friends say 'you're being too hard on yourself, you are creative and you have children, a part time job..." etc but I know that I am lazy and that is why life has whooshed by. It is only since the hoop came into my life that I seem to be passionate enough to stick with it, but it makes me more unorganised because all I want to do is hoop and revel in the bliss that it brings.... Got to sort it out! It was such a blessing to be invited to Morocco by Thomasina. It is also tragic that I was only invited because her ex boyfriend died in a horrid accident. Thomasina used to travel with Andy (departed) a lot when they were younger. We all used to work on a farm harvesting apples when we were in our early 20's and from the money they saved they did a lot of traveling around Asia and India. I was still at university and then I got pregnant so my continental travel fantasy was fulfilled through them. They used to come back with big tales of horrific bugs and bus and boat journeys. I was warned by Thomasina that I would probably get a funny tummy in Morocco but luckily I did not. I have been drinking Kombucha culture drink in the last couple of months and I think this really strengthens your own immune system. I had also been Dr Shultz green powder in smoothies and not drinking or indulging in anything bad since Boxing Day. My thryoxine has also been increased and starting to work so I was on good form generally and only drank bottled water. The food was delicious and we ate very cheaply, but well. We stayed in budget hotels costing about £10 a night for the two of us without any food and using a shared shower and toilet. We would get breakfast (very French style) at local cafes and this would cost about £1.50 including extra coffee. I did drink coffee and actually it was one of my regrets because it is so detrimental to my health. Then again the sweetened mint tea was also bad for you. I took to asking for it sans sucre and they would look at me as if i was asking for black tea without milk. Mint tea, the common drink, is lovely if mildly sweet, they called the sweetened version Berber whisky. Morocco is a dry country, only the rich and non religious drink. They loved this joke, hot and sweet and warming in the desert, but It became slightly tedious after two weeks. If the American people are alleged to think that the British have bad teeth then they would be horrified at the Moroccan peoples teeth. We stared in Marrakech for two nights these two days were invaluable for me and my need to adjust to the culture, the pushy, barterning nature of the people. I was also confused because I saw lots of women wearing very tight jeans and not having their hair covered verses a multitude of women that were extremely covered. I also saw lots of skinny cats and beaten up donkeys, a life I am glad from the bottom of my heart that I do not lead. We went to a old palace and several museums and drank freshly squeezed orange juice from the main square. I loved the main square at night with the water sellers, the snake charmers, the henna tattoo ladies, the food kitchen stalls and the story tellers. Then we joined a organized tour to the desert, the dunes of Merzouga, in a comfortable car. For two days we drove through the countryside and it was fascinating at how dramatically it changed. The first night we spent in a wonderful hotel with a toilet and shower attached. The hotel was very colonial with a river running down the gorge next to it. After dinner the local lads played their drums and we all tapped our feet, some Australian girls played along with the attention of the boys. The next evening we arrived in the desert in time for a camel ride to our camp just before sunset. It was beautiful. My favorite part of the whole holiday. Then on a whim we decided not to go back to Marrakech with the tour, 12 hours, but to catch a bus to Fes, a 12 hour bus ride!!!!!! We caught a public transport bus and that was an experience, it was not unpleasant but we were very popular with the locals. We were always respectful of the way the women dress, obviously we did not wear our hair covered but our shoulders and legs were always hidden. We never knew when the bus would stop so I got quite dehydrated on these journeys. I really do not like needing a wee for hours on end. Fes was wonderful with its winding Souks. I liked Fes the most, the people were polite and friendly. Travelers cheques were a bugger to change mind. We always stayed in the Medina, this is where the budget hotels are. I had my first ever carpet buying experience there. We sat above a shop and drunk Berber Whisky whilst the man showed us a 101 carpets, he even made the Ali Baba joke (by the time we had left Morocco this was no longer funny!!) Thomasina barters like a man, having traveled before she is an expert, she has a price she wants to pay and will never go above it. I was rubbish but I suppose it was my first time and I'm being hard on myself once again. It's all experience. We left Fes when we could no longer bear the male attention that we were receiving. They were lining up for us. On the last night we sat in a cafe and were literally surrounded by men that had tried it on in the last few days. We jumped on another public transport bus and went to Rabat, the capital city. We stayed in a very expensive hotel for us, it cost us nearly £13 but it did have a shower and toilet separated by a shower curtain from the main room. We explored the beach in Rabat and we met an kiwi lady who accompanied us on our walkabout. Then Thomasina got some attention that was hard to shake. He turned out to be quite interesting and later we went out to dinner with him. We think he may have been very rich but we will never know now!!! Next we went to Essouria, the tourist town by the sea. We were hassled her by the men. Thomasina especially because of her blonde hair and hight. Moroccan women are like me, small, brown eyes and dark hair and brown skin. I'm not brown now but I go a lovely color when I spent time in the sun. The amount of times that a comment was made to me that "you look like a Berber lady..." I loved the spice markets and the herbalists here. I brought Phil a drum made from the Oujida? wood and goat skin and I brought myself blocks of perfume from Musk and Amber. We shared lots of great own mixed teas from the stalls. We decided to go to Diabat, allegedly Jimmy Hendrix had stayed there and we fancied getting away from all the bullshit that we had received from the men. When "sexy lady" comes from the mouth of a 11 year old, the same age as my son, I could not but help feeling a bit ill. The weather was horrid and rainey at this point but the hotel had The hotel in Diabat cost us £54 for a double room with shower and toilet. It had no electricity but we had a log fire and candle arbors in the room. We also had a meal and breakfast included in this. The meal we ate in a candle lit hall with a roaring log fire, with all the other guests. We pushed the boat out even further and ordered a bottle of wine £10 , a lot of money for a drink in Morocco. Still it was my first drink of the year and it was Moroccan wine and went with the fantastic dinner so well. I phoned Phil. A 13 min call cost me £26!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then it was back to Marrakech for the last few nights. I felt like I needed a holiday to recover from the holiday but I enjoyed the experience. I had a horrible encounter on the last night when I tried to barter for a cheap crappy belly dance costume. I only had some cash in my purse and he asked to see in my bag and took a knife I have as part payment. I didn't want to swap the knife as it was worth more to me than some crappy old belly dance costume. Still it was all resolved but I really wanted to go home at that point. I didn't sleep that night at all. Anyway my arm is killing me now so I am going to leave at this point. Morocco is lovely, the quality of light and the base chakra nature of the music is amazing. I have written about my hooping experience in this post http://tribes.tribe.net/thehoopersjournal/thread/19eb8365-773e-4fb0-b37b-27120510bdb7 Thank you, Good night.

Off to Morrocco

Sharna Rose — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 22:08:00 GMT

Not a long blog, just want to catch up before I leave. I've got my beautiful collapsible hoop in my bag, and my bag is packed and I'm a bit nervous (just like in the picture. I'm feeling odd, slightly nervous and a bit sad...normal I guess as I am leaving my man and my children behind. Two weeks away.... yipppeeeeeeeee. Last Friday I went to London for a photo shoot. It was for the 'Circularily Thinking Conference" act that I did with Roses Urquart. Interesting experience really and it really drew my attention to the fakeness of most photographs in magazines, or rather the cleverness of the photographer in making a staged photo look real. I sprained my ankle mildly doing an awesome jump unprepared. It is better now, but it almost made me sick when I did it... and it halted my hooping for a few days. Nervous....

Where would I be without my honey Phil?

Sharna Rose — Wed, 06 Feb 2008 02:18:18 GMT

Where would I be without the continued support of my loving and wonderful Man Phil? He has encouraged me and supported me throughout this whole hooping experience. Some Men would feel threatened by my passion toward the hoop but he just lets me get on with it and laughs at me when I upload yet another video to youtube. I love You Phil, you are the best and the most patient man I could ever ask for....I am so lucky. I went out to the club again tonight, this is the second time that I have gone with my amazing friend and hoop comrade Tola. The promoter of "liquid/Envy" Carl called me via my mobile last Wednesday to offer me a platinum membership card so that we could come and go from the club as we wished without paying. So we went on Friday of last week and danced our little socks off. Tola found the club a bit difficult as it is a chain club and full of Maidstone'ites which are a bit interbred at times. She did not like it that the punters where robotic in a sence, and drunk, wore and danced like they have been programmed to via MTV and the google box in general. I however have so much energy at the moment it is unreal. I went to dance and I don't look out, I'm selfish and self centered on that dance floor, but that is me, i am enjoying myself and I find it hard to be the performer on the pedestal, with smiles that don't feel real. I can full on dance my little socks off for nigh on two hours with only stopping for water and a wipe down (yeuk)) All this au-natural. Excuse my repetition of these statements but I am so surprised at the energy that I have these days (mornings are hard mind, late night or not, but that is my sluggish thyroid functioning without its important thyroxine chemical) Tuesdays are student nights which I really enjoy because I hope that some of the girls feel that "I might be able to do that" feeling, that feeling we all had when we saw our first dancing hooper. My sad news is that I was offered a chance to participate in an art project but I will be away in Morocco. Its not sad that I will be in Morocco but that I will miss the project. My friend Tola is going to do in instead of me. I have a feeling that this project is going to be amazing. I'll let you know more about it after it has been completed because I don't want to spoil the end result. I am concerned for my hooping when I am away, gyrating lady in Morocco, primarily Muslim, will attract a lot of unwanted attention....I may have to stop hooping for two weeks.......arrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh...........arrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh!!!! I guess it will be good for me....I'm taking a collapseable hoop just in case. Got lots more to say but all of a sudden I cant stop yawning, it is 2.17am and I should be in bed. Love love love and more love to you all....

Very proud of myself

Sharna Rose — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 01:00:32 GMT

Still taken from the beautiful Mandala's at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fsu9WDElTSE , I love Mandala's (circles of course) I had it firmly in my head that Tola and myself were going to go to a club in Maidstone (spiting noises!) and dance before it got busy. Tuesday is student night at Liquid/Envy and for some reason I thought that it was going to be free before a certain time. Tola could not get a baby sitter and normally I would have waited for her and gone another night. However I had got it into my head that I was going to go. So...shock horror...I went by myself. I would never have ever done this 2 years ago. However every ounce of my instinct was telling me to go. I trust my instincts implicitly. On arrival they nearly did not let me in as it had not been arranged. However I flashed my psi hoop and asked them to speak to the Manager. I said I'll hoop until it gets busy and then I'm off. They let me in but I had to pay (I had vowed never to pay for the privilege's of hooping this year!!!) I was in heaven when I got into the club. The dance floor was circular and lit with stunning blue lights and ... totally empty. The music was alright and changed when I started dancing. The energetic exchange between the DJ and myself was cool, they always love it when people dance especially when it is empty, everyone likes to feel loved and worthy, and DJ's like to feel god like, just like I feel like a goddess when I dance. So I danced for two hours until it became to busy and I was dangerous. I was sweat soaked and thirsty but pleased with myself, pleased with my bravado and pleased with how I danced. It was as if I was the only person there. Lots of I's in this blog. However they are fairly ego-less I's because I danced for nobody else but for the beat and the rhythm of the music, I rode the invisible patterns and they pushed and gently nudged me this way and that. It was simply divine. I love my body chemicals, I love music and I love my light little psi hoop, I bloody love life right now. As I was leaving I passed the bouncers who smiled at me, already we had a relationship from the one encounter at the start of the night. One asked me If I had a good time to which I replied "It would have better if I didn't have to have pay". It just so happened that I was speaking to the promoter and he got out his wallet but could not find a £5. He did offer me (and Tola - because I did mention my friend who had been unable to make it that night) that we could come back and dance every Tuesday before it gets busy, for free and with drinks provided. I skipped to the car and whooped for joy all the way home. I am so proud of myself. I still have not had a drink, so for over 1 month now, no demon drink for me. I feel so good. I have had only two coffees in this time. I have discovered Yerba Mate which is really tasty. I have stayed clean and pure and it feels great. I am waking up to the real me, the inner me and it is great, the me that refuses to sleep. I did feel very odd yesterday and this morning, very insubstantial and like I was in a constant state of deja vu. This worried me, I also had a horrid dream last night. Today I found out that a Asteroid passed very close to the magnetic field of the earth and I'm wondering if this is why it felt as it the synapses in my brain weren't firing right!!! I think too much, definitely. We are so insignificant really http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcBV-cXVWFw One last thing, I watched a horrid documentary (not for the faint hearted) and although it made me cry I knew that I had to watch it. I have not eaten nor will I buy meat again. I would consider eating meat from my friend Janice's land as her pigs are free range and live happy lives but I will not buy any packaged meat from the supermarket ever ever ever ever again. Even though I know we do not have the same level of agro corp that is present in America a lot of our meat comes from Europe and they do have the land mass for this type of foul practice http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhxKnys7Ryw I warn you now it is not nice viewing but I do believe that it should be witnessed and God Bless the Internet.

Purification

Sharna Rose — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 13:31:19 GMT

Today whilst browsing on youtube I found a great animation that cylce's through the chakra's ( http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=jeanjeansl is the profile to go to if you are interested. The picture is a captured still from one of the vid's in the series of 3). I have always been fascinated with these energy wheels and now my thyroid is suffering I have become even more interested as the thyroid is directly linked to the throat Chakra. It seems very timely that I rediscover that the throat chakra is directly related to purification, a concept of which I am starting to integrate directly into my life. Last night I went out hooping at the launch of a gay club in Chatham. I had such a good time and I danced until 2 am without drinking a single thing. I sweated so much, it was revolting really - however it is also purifying I guess. I love my body chemicals and I had forgotten just how great they are as it has been so simple to remain asleep yet feeling connected in such situations. I feel free and strong and on waking this morning I was so happy to be alive and I guess I am just acknowledging my commitment, for until one is committed providence cannot move correctly. I am so happy to be alive.

Centered Focus

Sharna Rose — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 00:25:20 GMT

Centered Focus are my keywords for 2008. Since my last blog I have come to the rather pleasant realization that one is always at a crossroads no matter what position one finds one self in. Not a new thought but more of a knowing this time around. There are endless possibilities at any moment and if anything this has been the major lesson that has come about through my hooping practice. If I can only transpose this free flowing energetic that I have found through hooping onto my real life then I will be able to bend, turn to face, deal and move onward without resistance, but occasionally picking myself up and starting again (without retreating inward). Stuff happens in life but picking that hoop up and getting on, learn my lesson, try not to make the same mistake again, and even if I do, so what, mistakes are our biggest teachers, brief excursions to the underworld make those trips to heaven a lot more fun.... My physical being has been troubling me, my thyroid is suffering and I have had to put up my thyroxine medicine. I attributed the exhausted feelings to Christmas, the dark nights and winter of discontent that returns yearly (or I blamed the toxic chimney - according to the parish council it is steam!?!!!??). This thyroid illness is like a thief in the night, stealing my grain(energy) supplies by tunneling under my larder, one day you go to cook some barley and you notice that there is hardly any left and there is a big hole in your larder floor (where did that little yarn come from?) Suddenly you cant get up, your eye is twitching, your joints ache and you've put on weight. My only real worry is that this might continue to get worse. It also gets worse when my spiritual being wakens, it is my throat Chakra after all. Perhaps I'm not speaking out enough. Who knows, still the levels will adjust soon, It is already easier to get up in the morning. I have made some painful decisons about this year. I have accepted working at Glastonbury, which means that I am unable to go to Carborro in June. Arabella Churchill died last year, very suddenly of Cancer. I really enjoyed working for her and her team and when they asked me to come back again I felt unable to say No, after all it is our biggest Arty Music Festival. I agonized over this decision. Should I go? Should I stay? It broke my heart to make this choice as so many of my virtual friends would be at the HoopPath retreat. Then the next day I received an email offering me the chance to do something else in September, this also looked very exciting but I will have to see how it pans out. So I might be coming to the States after all as Burning Man is looking unlikely due to lack of cash. I am working very hard on my financial block this year too. My outdated pattern about my money beliefs, I guess I carry a part of me that thinks Money is evil, downfall of man, something which in reality does not exist yet is held so dear to mankind, it causes war, poverty and it enslave us. However we do need it, especially if i want to take my family out of this horrid country. We also want to move this year, away from this rather crowded county and the chimney of terror! Tee hee. I have also given up the demon drink, I have sent it packing and I wooped it's big fat arse. I said, "I don't need you, you keep me sleeping, you suck all my illusory money away, I realize now and name this genetic pattern once and for all, now bye, bye" Its not as if I had a problem but I was feeling controlled by it, in my own small way. My dna is damaged and this makes me sensitive, but in a bad way. Its no good for failing thyroids either :-) I was nominated in the Hooping.org hoopies, which surprised me somewhat and It made me feel humble and loved. I personally found it very difficult to nominate in the first instance and subsequently find the daily vote odd, I vote for different people in some of the categories. Philo is such a hardworking man, I mean he does not get paid for all his work, he does it for love of hooping, he should have been nominated. This is the difficulty that I have, so many great people, I guess I don't really feel worthy of my nominations. I'm so self depreciating at times. I want to smash this old programme of my childhood, smash the poor sorry ole little Sharna who so desperately wanted her Mummy to love her. Even though the script is obvious I cant quite let go of it yet as it comforts me in some twisted way. Wow, how to turn an interesting paragraph about being nominated into a bitter little rant about my 'little, but oh so big really, me'... sorry!!!...oh look here I go again...I think I'm going to leave this paragraph behind and start again with a new one. Clean slate...hee hee, I'm on Radio 4 tomorrow but I'm going to miss it because I'm going to Kundalini Yoga, I really need to go and connect with the ultimate reality of existence. My mum is going to record the Radio for me onto a tape...a tape...blimey how old skool. I have never been on the Radio before, how many never have before's is this hooping practice going to afford me? I know, with a deep knowing, that this is my role now, and I don't care what people might think about this statement (this is a first in my life). Some people channel music (waveform), some people channel the voice of an angel (waveform), some channel dance (waveform), some channel art (waveform), I am channeling the patterns of the invisible (waveform). This journey runs at its own pace, my body is freeing rapidly, I feel less dense, more airy, I am discovering my arms and my feet and I still am oblivious to outside world. I am confident that this is what I came to do, having spent a life time searching this hooping practice found me, it embraced me like a mother embraces a child, like the mother I wanted (careful Sharna...lets not go back there...) I must be careful not to betray this energy by being something that I am not. I am not really a performer, but I feel I must perform in order to spread the importance of how accessible this practice is, I want people to say "I think I could do that". This means rehearsal, schedule, organization, everything I avoid and retreat from, lessons indeed. So lessons for this year: Centered Focus and Mother Hoop will lead the way, I'll just turn in her wake and she will lead me. Or I will lead myself with clarity and purpose intent and motivated. Postscript: I am not mad just feeling free, more free that I have ever felt before. I have not gone loco with power mad visions of becoming a Hoop Guru, or even of winning, Infact please dont vote for me. Vote for life....tee hee hee, Vote for love and freedom, vote for your own divinity. Always dance as if nobody is watching. Gratitude and love, and love and gratitude infinitum.

Crossroad

Sharna Rose — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 22:47:24 GMT

Well here I am standing at the crossroad of another year, 2008! I am so confused about the direction to choose, where am 'I' going to go or what am "I" do this year. Three definite plans: Vipassana, trip to Morrocco and move our asses out of posionous little Yalding, Two fill my ego with dread the other soothes and carress it. Hoop direction? I really dont know! Since the hoop came into my life it has lead me, seriously took my little lost girl hand and led me, led me here, led me there, made me grow, made me laugh, cry and scream. Now the hoop angel seems to have left me to grow up, I feel in Stasis, lost and waiting for my mother to show me the way. What shall I do? Shall I seriously get teaching?...why did I spend money on teacher training and then just fester at home waiting for work?...Am I lazy? Am I lazy? Oh hoop angel help me, show me the way from here, be my candle in the dark of my unconscious self and lead me back to the path. I'm going to eat well, and sleep well and look after my self, I promise. Another 300 odd days of this 5th glactic night to go....all this information keeps turning up on my computer and I dont know what to think, What is real and what is anothers imaginings? . All the time I waste sitting at this screen watching information. Whose information is real, whose is brainwashing. I think the TV in the house is really messing with my head. I dont even know why I say this but since the TV moved in I have been more miserable...I dont really watch it but I think it is the vibration from the thing...its waves. Is this as real as the connection I have with all my friends across the globe? My connection with the hooping world feels wave like too, but much better, more positive, the TV feels negative, the computer feels a tad negative as well as positive. I AM THINKING FAR TOO MUCH! One thing is for sure, got to live in the moment cause there might not be a next. Cheery little blog. Right hoop angel I'm going to hoop and see if you can show me some answers, please :-) Happy New Year 2008 - Its going to be good apparently, a golden age of mankind! Much love,joy and healing hooping for all.

Green eyed Monster

Sharna Rose — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 23:50:21 GMT

Had big green eyed monster issues yesterday concerning my friends new psi hoop (this was dispite my own sweet baby coming home a great 34 inch's not 38"). I was shocked at the amount of horrid ego emotion that surfaced within myself. It was even more shocking considering all the amazing video's that I have been watching about the Mayan Calendar and the great feelings, mass tingling and other strange unexplainable odd sensations in the body, that have been surfacing from my absorption of this ( http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6681910439634411366 ) Later when I had a hoop, all these crappy feelings just shifted away, the connection to being connected melted all ego into oblivion. It felt good to recognise this behavior, to be able to name this rather than fighting or fleeing the emotion, it felt very conscious despite it's base unconscious nature. Last night I had bizarre dreams of portals and compasses that took you to other dimensions, I think I may be spending too much time in trying to understand the Mayan Calendar!!! Phil did not get the job (which should truly honestly should have been his), my friend Tola got a beautiful new psi hoop with more bling than me (insert ego "she is going to get all the attention" and this comes from the person who "I dont want anyone to look at me" self confessed). I suppose I feel that we deserve more. We are lovely, we are charitable, we are kind, we share, we spread joy and love, we care (we being my lovely little family) yet we are nowhere and have nothing...we have no house of our own, we barely have enough to live on (although we are rich by third world standard). I worked really hard to buy my hoop...oh fxxx. Phil has worked really hard for over 10 years, we deserve more.... And...I burnt myself when my fire hoop had gone out as I moved away from the spectators...It's midnight, I'm off for some hooping connection and sod this earth bound reality...I'm off to hyper space...(tee hee hee, still got my humor, my all to human humor... :-) )

New Cousin, Hal

Sharna Rose — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 21:24:55 GMT

Welcome Hal, you may look a bit humpy now but in time you'll remember why you came... I look forward to dancing with you... Rhythmic Moon day 6 Year of the White Lunar Wizard kin 199: Blue Self-Existing Storm I Define in order to Catalyse Measuring Energy I seal the Matrix of Self-generation With the Self-Existing tone of Form I am guided by the power of Vision