It's All An Illusion

I am alone. At any moment, the people, places and things that I treasure can be ripped away and I am left with nothing but myself. I've been living this lie that I can build a pretty little life in a pretty little home and a pretty little job and a pretty little family and it means something. All of those things are just markers of time and space. They can all disappear in an instant and all I am left with is the deafening scream from the darkest recesses of my mind.

This emptiness

The emptiness is endless. It envelopes me in a blanket of misery and desolation. There is happiness and opportunity but nothing fills me. I can see it and I walk through all the happiness and go through my days among the living but it is empty. It is all a mask elaborately created and maintained to keep the world out.

I've built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.
Don't talk of love,
But I've heard the words before;
It's sleeping in my memory.
I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

"Are We The Waiting"

Starry nights city lights coming down over me
Skyscrapers and stargazers in my head
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
This dirty town was burning down in my dreams
Lost and found city bound in my dreams

And screaming
Are we the waiting
And screaming
Are we the waiting

Forget me nots and second thoughts live in isolation
Heads or tails and fairytales in my mind
Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown
The rage and love, the story of my life
The Jesus of suburbia is a lie

And screaming
Are we the waiting
And screaming
Are we the waiting
And screaming
Are we the waiting
And screaming
Are we the waiting
And screaming