My first post...

I've never posted on Tribe because whatever I felt I had to say about a performance, other people seemed to say better. Call me crazy. Truth be told I was stuck in the troupe mentality and was only here because it was the troupe mandate (I make that sound negative, but it was a great thing, really!). Anyway, now that there's no one else to talk about the prep for, and relief after, my performances, it's time I took a stab.

Saturday night I performed at a benefit show for the Family Crisis Center in Stevens Point, Wisconsin. I was making myself so incredibly nervous due to the fact that I've only danced in troupe atmospheres. Sure I've done solos, but my girls were right behind me, waiting to take the stage themselves when I was done. It was a much different feeling flying solo. I was in tears two nights before because by not practicing with a troupe I had felt I had lost my support group. I was preparing to step into a group of incredibly talented dancers and essentially make my debut, and there was no one else there to stress over choreographies, and no one to hide my weaknesses behind. I felt horribly unprepared due to the fact that I have been so busy lately, but I got up the courage and used some old numbers with new tweaks to make it through. Honestly, despite the fact that I had to reposition my sword twice (once because it slid completely off), and the fact that I threw together a costume that has only served to inspire me to make something new, I can't even explain how high I feel having gotten out there and faced my fear. Which fear exactly? I'm not so sure, but something was making my stomach churn and causing me to be short on breath.

Now that everything is said and done, It seems I was well received and I hope that I have found some new sisters to add to my bellydance family that I will get to dance with again soon, maybe as a soloist again, maybe back in the comfortable family atmosphere of troupe dancing. I suppose there's a time for each, right?