joined on 05/25/07
last updated 06/07/07
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
AND FINALLY........
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other
Fri, September 7, 2007 - 4:40 PM
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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK ...
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon
THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate
THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type...
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A woman in her fifties is at home happily jumping, unclothed, on her
bed and squealing with delight.
Her husband watches her for a while and asks,
"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with
you?"
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says,
"I don't care what you think, I just came from having a mammogram, and
the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of
an 18 year-old."
The husband replies,
"What did he say...
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FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY:
===========================================================================
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told ...
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It finally happened - 3rd time lucky with those postponements. I flew the aeroplane!!!! And it was absolutely amazing. The views were fantastic - it was sunny and clear as far as the eye could see. We flew from Lower Upham, over Portsmouth - over the warships, the aircraft carriers, HMS Victory etc and even alongside the Spinnaker Tower to have a look!! Then it was over the Solent to the Isle of Wight - around the coast to the Needles, encircled the Needles and then back to the airfi...
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about me
Hi!! I'm a mother of two - one is 16 at the mo and the other is 4. Got married April 06 after spending over 12 years as an unmarried single mum. Did my BA Honours Degree in that time too - one of the best decisions I've ever made. I love reading, spending time with my husband and my kids, selling in my Ebay shop, watching fave TV programmes and films (nowhere near enough as I'd like to though - doesn't help that actually stopping AND sitting, in a comfy chair no less, means I fall asleep within minutes!!!), laughter, making and maintaining new friendships, exploring new ideas, new ways of thinking and new ways of exploring my world.
I gave up employment in June 2006 after having started up my Ebay shop in the previous month. I am now also a School Governor at my youngest daughter's school (she's in the nursery at the mo - starts 'proper school' in September when she'll be 4 and 7months). Being a Governor is challenging and rewarding and involves both daytime and evening commitments. I'm still learning as I started my 4 year governorship last Oct/Nov. I will also be shortly running a support group for single parents at the same school - only obstacle at the moment is that building work needs to be finished to make room for us!!
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