i resonate. i pick my fingertips and they look horrible. it's been a life-long habit. sometimes i smoke, sometimes i don't. i swear i grew an inch taller the year i was 18. sometimes i deliberately get lost. other times, it's an accident. at one point, i thought i wanted to be a nun. i was drawn in by the promise of simplicity and solitude. but realized i do not like simple and solitary all of the time, or most of the time for that matter. additionally, i cannot commit to any religious doctrines. that's just me. if you can do it, more power to you. i will smile at you. people will tell me anything. i can sometimes become self-righteous, but try really hard not to. i refuse to pray when i'm scared. i push the envelope at all the right times. i've never been afraid to fly. people look to me to make sense of things, and i oblige, if only to soothe. i might be fake. i might be genuine. it all depends.