Male

45

A note on the recent name change:

"Watermelon," while being a name that reclaims an epithet lobbed at environmentalists by the political right (green on the outside, red on the inside, get it?), is not a plant that grows well in the maritime Pacific Northwest, my home. Moreover, the name itself was a decade old.

So I decided a change was in order. The last part of the name, Pax Ferox, came to me at the conclusion of an allegorical dream about nature, technology, and society. It means "fierce peace" in Latin. While seemingly paradoxical, as Oscar Wilde once wrote: "[T]he way of paradoxes is the way of truth. To test Reality we must see it on the tight-rope. When the Verities become acrobats we can judge them."

The ending of the institutionalized violence inherent in in hierarchical civilization is a prerequisite for peace, yet those who sit atop the apex of power will not hesitate to use violence to preserve it; therefore, of necessity the pursuit of true peace will not be a process that is all sweetness and light.

Ah, light. A desirable, but overrated, concept, both literally and metaphorically. Literally, there's starting to be studies showing that the end of natural twilight and darkness wrought by electrical illumination is psychologically damaging. Metaphorically, there's an inordinate level of value placed on light, happy, sunny emotions in our society and an inordinate level for disrespect of anything dark, heavy, or complex.

While "Pax Ferox" came in a dream and I'll honor that, Latin doesn't have much to do with this region. So I'll translate "darkness" into Chinook Wawa: Pulakli (or Poolaklie if you prefer the alternate spelling).

And now on to the previous bio text:

I almost didn't post this, but several people have told me to check out
tribe.net and I've typed this in over a period of weeks, entering a or
revising a paragraph every few days.

As it is, I don't plan on being super active here; my life's crammed
with other obligations, and I spend far too much time sitting on my butt
in front of a computer as it is. But I do check my e-mails regularly and
am very interested in finding and meeting kindred souls.

If there are any, that is. Something tells me I may just be a tribe of
one.

How do I describe myself without misleading anyone? I am me.

Completely accurate, but hardly helpful to those that don't already know
me. So let's try again.

Some people see my bare feet, long hair, and tie dye and think I'm a
hippie.

Some people hear my rantings against class, privilege, and authority
and think I'm an anarchist.

Some see my knowledge of plants and think I'm a botanist.

Some see my knowledge of computers and electronics and think I'm a
techie.

I am all of that and none of that, simultaneously. Each term describes
SOME of what I am while at the same time tending to paint boxes around
what people see I can be.

I've never been good at fitting in those boxes, and don't see anything
wrong with not doing so. I'm a hippie who doesn't believe in astrology,
a city dweller who loves being close to nature, a luddite technologist,
a spiritual agnostic, and a cautious revolutionary. Among other things.

That's made getting along in the work world difficult for me, because
the whole notion of "career" and specialization is all about creating
boxes and putting people in them. I have diverse interests, but make me
spend the majority of my waking hours on any one of them and I'll soon
get sick and tired of it.

Sometimes I think I was really intended to be a lesbian and made a queer
man by mistake. It's the lesbians that have the disdain for the fashion
world, the progressive and radical politics and lifestyles, and the
focus on meaningful relationships instead of quick sex.

Unless there's other good reason to suspect it (say, it's in the context
of a Radical Faeries gathering), most people never guess that I'm queer.
Which is fair, as I have almost no gaydar to speak of and usually miss
all the "signs" that others put out.

We probably won't get along very well if:

- You insist on discussing astrology with me as if it's actually a
legitimate science instead of a collection of old superstitions.

- You smoke tobacco (see below).

- You think _Out_ and the _Advocate_ are anti-establishment
publications.

- You think you're challenging the mainstream because the car you drive
everywhere is a Volvo with progressive bumper stickers and your house is
in a "hip" neighborhood and filled with hippie tchochkes.

- You think you're challenging the mainstream because you spend your
income on fashionable clothes and furnishings and a trendy pad in the
gay ghetto instead of a home in the suburbs, kids, and a minivan.

- Your tribe.net profile lists your dick size.

- You lied about your age in your profile so you can get more dates.

So, what kind of person am I looking for?

First, I've got allergies. If you smoke tobacco, I'm not going to be
able to spend much time in your physical presence because even the
lingering odor on body and clothes makes me physically ill.

If you're vegetarian or vegan it would certainly make cooking and meals
easier, but it's not a must. If you insist on eating meat at every meal
it will probably complicate things.

Some interests in common with mine (see above) (especially botany) would
be nice. As would some that aren't; it would expand my horizons.

Probably most important of all, you have to have some understanding of
the abyss modern, industrial, bourgeois society is hurtling all living
beings on the planet into. You have to be making some honest effort to
minimize your personal participation in this machinery of death. You
have to be making some effort to derail it and/or create positive
alternatives. It doesn't have to be my understanding, my efforts, my
activism. But it does have to amount to something more than hollow
symbols and words.

Last (and in this case, probably least) I definitely find the more
"alternative" looks (long hair, facial hair, unusual dress, piercings,
tattoos) attractive.

One final thing. My blog (which doesn't support RSS so can't be listed in the normal way) is here:
homepage.mac.com/n5jrn/blo....html#last