My Blog

Grrr...may I have some cheese with my whine?

Lillith — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 15:32:13 GMT

...so here we are a week before Yule/Giftmas debauchery and Typhoid Zoe has given me the flu...blech! Don't these nasty little bugs know I have much overcompensating to do for my own childhood by going overboard with preparations? Somewhere the Gods are laughing hysterically I know. Add on the loveliness of having my monthly friend decide to visit along with the virus and I've been waking up for the past two days with one eye swollen. I may hot glue some Yule decor on to a pirate patch and be cheerful...I mean, WTF ONE eye? Why not two? Being sick and pitiful I haven't applied any makeup so I have no idea what's causing this. Joel has also been sick my sweet Prince did nothing but lay around on the couch for two days because he was "too sick" while I still did all the Mom things that must be done. He of course is feeling much better...who wouldn't after spending two days laying on the couch watching The History Channel? Bastard. If I could get away with it, and I wasn't too sick, I'd flay him right now. Just because he's feeling better and I'm not. Let's add one more piece to the puzzle. Zoe has a project due today on black holes. My little genius did a wonderful job creating a powerpoint presentation for her project. We were ready to ace this one...except that I can't get the presentation burned on to a CD. I'm not sure if it's my burner or the CDs. I'm ready to throw this blasted machine out the window but then I wouldn't be able to whine on this blog. I've copied it to a Zip drive and hopefully it will get accepted that way. If not, some of you may be getting panicky phone calls in about an hour with me asking if I can use your computer. Did I mention I'm really too sick to deal with this shit?? OK, end of whine...I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming

Pray For Peace

Lillith — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 00:30:47 GMT

Pray to whoever you kneel down to: Jesus nailed to his wooden or marble or plastic cross, his suffering face bent to kiss you, Buddha still under the Bo tree in scorching heat, Adonai, Allah, raise your arms to Mary that she may lay her palm on our brows, to Shekinhah, Queen of Heaven and Earth, to Inanna in her stripped descent. Hawk or Wolf, or the Great Whale, Record Keeper of time before, time now, time ahead, pray. Bow down to terriers and shepherds and siamese cats. Fields of artichokes and elegant strawberries. Pray to the bus driver who takes you to work, pray on the bus, pray for everyone riding that bus and for everyone riding buses all over the world. If you haven't been on a bus in a long time, climb the few steps, drop some silver, and pray. Waiting in line for the movies, for the ATM, for your latté and croissant, offer your plea. Make your eating and drinking a supplication. Make your slicing of carrots a holy act, each translucent layer of the onion, a deeper prayer. Make the brushing of your hair a prayer, every strand its own voice, singing in the choir on your head. As you wash your face, the water slipping through your fingers, a prayer: Water, softest thing on earth, gentleness that wears away rock. Making love, of course, is already a prayer. Skin and open mouths worshipping that skin, the fragile case we are poured into, each caress a season of peace. If you're hungry, pray. If you're tired. Pray to Gandhi and Dorothy Day. Shakespeare. Sappho. Sojourner Truth. Pray to the angels and the ghost of your grandfather. When you walk to your car, to the mailbox, to the video store, let each step be a prayer that we all keep our legs, that we do not blow off anyone else's legs. Or crush their skulls. And if you are riding on a bicycle or a skateboard, in a wheel chair, each revolution of the wheels a prayer that as the earth revolves we will do less harm, less harm, less harm. And as you work, typing with a new manicure, a tiny palm tree painted on one pearlescent nail or delivering soda or drawing good blood into rubber-capped vials, writing on a blackboard with yellow chalk, twirling pizzas, pray for peace. With each breath in, take in the faith of those who have believed when belief seemed foolish, who persevered. With each breath out, cherish. Pull weeds for peace, turn over in your sleep for peace, feed the birds for peace, each shiny seed that spills onto the earth, another second of peace. Wash your dishes, call your mother, drink wine. Shovel leaves or snow or trash from your sidewalk. Make a path. Fold a photo of a dead child around your VISA card. Gnaw your crust of prayer, scoop your prayer water from the gutter. Mumble along like a crazy person, stumbling your prayer through the streets. pray for peace - ellen bass From: www.worldprayers.org/arch...kneel.html

Free At Last! Free At Last! Praise The Goddess I'm Free At Last!!

Lillith — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 17:52:42 GMT

I finally gave my notice yesterday at work. My last day as a government drone is August 22nd. Next comes the scary and exciting part of working for myself...oy vey!

Getting to know "me"

Lillith — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 18:06:11 GMT

I've been on a Pagan message board with the same group of ladies for about six years now. One of the things we do when new members come along is ask them to answer a series of questions as our "featured" member. We've found it was a really good way to get a feel for new people and see if they fit in well with our small group. Recently, we decided that we should do them again as well. I found answering the questions was very interesting and the answers so much different than what I wrote the first time I did them. I decided to post them here and share... 1) How did you find your current Path? Well, maybe I should just talk about the last 5 years. I used to be a solitary Wiccan, but then started attending a Wiccan learning circle. I really enjoyed it at first and got my first taste (and was hooked) of group energy. I was able to put a lot of my spiritual knowledge to actual practice and it was just the indoctrination I needed. Of course, after a while "drama" intervened and the Circle eventually disbanded. I then joined a larger Circle that is very eclectic and free flowing and from there I've expanded to learn more about tantra, breath and energy work and ecstatic experiences like fire circle. At the same time my DD, Zoe, was starting to ask questions about God/Goddess. She also spends a lot of time with my mom who is hard core Catholic. I really wanted to be open minded with her and while I loved my magickal community it was not kid friendly. I somehow found my way to the Unitarian Universalist church. I had heard they were Pagan friendly but didn't really believe that. I made sure to wear my big 'ol pentacle the first time so I could gauge reactions to it, lol! I was pleased to find out the sunday school teacher was a male pagan who is wonderful at what he does. So we started going, mostly for my DD but I soon found that I really enjoyed the "mental" aspect of the services. We've become more and more involved over the years with the congregation. I really feel like I have the best of both worlds: a beautiful magickal community that allows me to feel safe enough to commune with Spirit in a wholly authentic way and a UU community that feeds my mind and fires up the flames of social commitment while providing DD a positive community experience. So all that means I'm a Unitarian Universalist Pagan 2) What things would you like to add to your spiritual practice that you have either been putting off or don't feel you are ready for? I'd like to make more time for meditation and being present with myself. I tend to get caught up in a lot of little details and busy work and forget to take real spiritual time for myself. 3) How does your Path, whatever it is, make you *FEEL* inside? Connected? Powerful? Weak? Fearful? Awed? Confused? Peaceful? Flexible? Balanced? Guilty? Overburdened? Ready for anything?! Etc. It makes me feel authentic and balanced 4) How does your Path help you through the challenges/lessons that come on a day-to-day basis? Does it make it easier? Harder? (explain) I think both. On the one hand, I think it would be a lot easier to not have a spiritual side or believe that theres a diety that is totally responsible for what I do in my daily life. If only I could get away with thinking, "The Devil Made Me Do It" or "It's God's Will" On the other hand, I think my beliefs make me more open to accepting things as being in the moment and a lesson 5) Do you feel "settled" and at home with your path and your connection to the spiritual being you are? Why? Why not? I feel at home because this is what my heart believes to be true. Settled, no, because I feel to be spiritual is a never ending path, there is not "settled" point, I strive to be more each day. Mostly I fail, but sometimes I don't :lol 6) Do you believe in reincarnation or an afterlife? What do you think happens when we die? It's all hazy, but I think that when we die our spirit is absorbed into whatever greater spirit there is and it's eventually reincarnated into something else. I don't really give a lot of thought to life after death because it's a mystery we can't know. What's important is how I live my day to day life in service to that mystery 7) Is there anything about your chosen path that you reject or have a hard time accepting? The first principal of Unitarian Universalism is "Respecting the inherent worth and dignity of every person" I struggle with that one...how can I respect the worth and dignity of someone like Dick Cheney when I feel he has no worth or dignity? 8 ) What have you found the most surprising about your chosen path? Why? That the "intellectual" portion of my path has led to some of the greatest spiritual healing I've gone through. For example, for a long time I was a very angry anti-christian A year or so ago the head of the UU Christian Fellowship was going to speak at the church on Palm Sunday. My first thought was "free Sunday, yeah!" Then I stopped and thought about it; if I really wanted to walk my talk about being open minded I should go endure this. I also wanted to be indignant towards some of our Christian members who don't come to any Pagan sunday services (I can't believe I'm admitting that,lol) I was so surprised about the service! He spoke of Jesus not as a messiah who died or did whatever he does during Lent, but as a social activist who upset the system by going in and throwing out the money changers from the temple. He also suggested it was this type of activity not the fact that he was saying that he was the son of God that got him killed. This is a Jesus I like! So it made me see this figure in a more multi dimensional way. 9) Do you already or do you plan to raise your children in your path? Why or why not? How? Yep, see all of the above...it all started because I wanted to give her a well rounded religious education. She's at "church camp" as we speak being around other progressive, liberal kids *happy sigh* and she's away for a week! 10) What is the one most special/sacred item that you own which relates to your path? What is the one special/sacred object that you would like to own? Why? My most special magickal item I have is the Athame my DH had made for me. It has a bone handle and some sort of dark stone blade. I love it, mostly because he thought to have it made for me, he's not always the most thoughtful guy. I'd love to own a Sekhmet statue 11) Have you visited any pagan sacred sites? Where? When? What was it like? I am so lucky to live 45 minutes away from the Goddess Temple dedicated to Sekhmet that I visit often. I've also been to the Cahokia Indian mounds in Illinois. It was a trip to climb and stand on top of them knowing people had worshipped there ages ago 12) If you absolutely could NOT follow your path, which other pagan path would you be likely to follow? Which 'mainstream' religion? I cannot follow any other path other than the one I walk 13) Have you ever had a personal experience with a Diety and how did that affect you? I'm helping priestess the Sekhmet ritual at the temple this year and I was very nervous about it, I didn't feel "worthy" and was really kinda stressed about it. In May I went to Mayfire, an all night alchemical fire circle. On Sunday morning as we were watching the sun come up and really going nuts with the dancing and chanting, Sekhmet appeared to me in the sun. One of Her names is "Eye of Ra" She let me know it was ok and to well, get over myself 14) When did you first know that magick is real? I don't think I ever thought it wasn't 15) How has your current path changed you? I think it's made me a more balanced, authentic person. 16) Do you view yourself differently than before finding your path? I don't think that I would now like the person I was. I used to be very concerned with what others thought of me in a superficial sense. My clothes, material things. Now I can give a rats ass 17) Familiars? do you have any or housepets who act like they are? My cat Chiquita has appeared in some of my journeys but I don't know if she's necessarily my Familiar, she seems to like DH a lot more than me! 18 ) What is your favorite book(s) of all time? A book(s) you can't live without and why? My favorite book of all times is "The Red Tent" by Anita Diamant. I couldn't live without "Circle Round" it has come in very handy for Scouts! 19) What are your favorite Deities and spells? Favorite Dieties: Asherah, Lilith, Virgen De Guadalupe, The Green Man, Pan, Ganesh. I don't do much spellwork anymore but I'd have to say the Abundance Check thingy is pretty handy 20) Describe your first spell, what was it's outcome? I think it was something like sticking a needle through a candle wick to get rid of a love rival. I must've been all of 15 at the time and no, I don't think it worked. He ended up marrying that girl later but they did divorce so maybe it just took a while! I didn't want him at that point, rofl 21) Where do you see yourself spiritually/magickally in 1 year?5 years?10 years?How do you think you will grow and change inside those time frames? OR,what goals have you set for yourself? I'd like to become an ordained UU minister. I have a 13 year goal because that's when DH can retire from the City of LV with a full pension. I haven't decided if I want to be a congregational minister. I think I'd rather be a hospital chaplain. In the meantime, I'd like to study more on energy work and get at least an associates degree in psychology because I feel that the mind and mental health is a very important aspect of spirituality. 22) What is the last magickal book you've read? The Witch's Shield by Christopher Penczak, I think that's his name! 23) Do you have a Totem Spirit/Guide and who or what is it? I like frogs a lot but am not sure if they're a totem. I've had things appear in differant shamanic journeys I've done but I don't think any of them were "THE" guide 24) Why are you on your path? Because this is the path that Spirit has put before me 25) What religion (if any) were you raised in? How has that shaped this path? I was raised Roman Catholic, I think it gave me a nice introduction to ritual practice 26) How does your SO feel about your religious beliefs? Are they different than your beliefs? How did you agree on how to raise children? He's Paganish/UUish too thought he doesn't have a deep need to worship with others, for him its very private and personal. He is starting to do more with me in the community. We're on the same page as far as Zoe goes in wanting to provide her with a lot of information on different beliefs and trying to give her the tools to make an informed decision 27) How old were you, when you started on your chosen path? About 20/21? Though I did have a fascination with it as a teenager but had no clue about the spiritual aspects, I just thought witchcraft sounded kewl. 28 ) Do have a daily practice of prayer and meditation? I don't always do it, but in a perfect world I ground/center/shield myself in the shower and then do a Sekhmet mantra (trying to work with her more in prep for the festival in August) and a Ganesh mantra that I really like 29) What books, websites, etc would you recommend for anyone interested in learning more about your chosen path? Hmmm...Drawing Down The Moon, The Spiral Dance, and Wicca for the Solitary Practioner for the newbie. I really just tell people to read anything that appeals to them and to take it all in with a large grain of salt. www.witchvox.com for networking