Bad dreams...lessons not learned

For those of you who don't know me very well, I am a follower of totemic/native american religion as it was in the 1700's.
Some even say I am wiccan in many ways, since there is a similarity there between the 2.
I spent time in my late teens and early 20's under the tutelage of a Lakota Sioux shaman and friend.
I have found great comfort over the years in totemic belief and the lessons that can be learned from fellow creatures great and small.

I am not one to have bad dreams often; maybe once or twice a year. When I say bad dreams, I mean ones that make you sweat in your sleep, bring on feelings of distress and wake you up feeling wrung out and distraught. I don't know if its everything going on in my life recently, but I had a powerful one last night that has left me shaking my head. Brother wolf is one of my main personal totem animals. He is mainly representation of "TEACHER" or MENTOR. Wolf has many lessons to teach us if we are open enough to see/learn them.
I love wolves. Contrary to popular belief, they are gentle, social animals with admirable intellegence and traits. They may squabble over food, roughhouse and threaten; but they rarely are violent enough to cause serious harm. To most humanity; they are beasts to be feared...though there are very VERY few recorded cases of a wolf attacking a human.

My nightmare last night included a wolf; attacking me in the face so visciously that it left me without skin or much muscle left...grossly wounded yet alive, not bleeding (oddly) and horrified......and once the shock wore off I had to fight back and pin it into submission under me. I felt torn down to the basic animal instincts we all have BUT just don't like to let rule us.

If one believes our dreams are our subconscious talking to us or otherwise....I believe that dreams are influenced by the thinning of the veil between realms while sleep occurs...then with all my training, I would interpret this dream to mean that brother wolf; my totem animal, was trying to tell me I am not learning/refusing to learn the lesson he is trying to teach me at this point in my life. The level of violence indicated the level of desperation felt by both the spirit of wolf and me.....my horror and shock representing my ignorence and reluctance to accept/see/learn a particular lesson....my loss of face representing loss of self identity I have been feeling...perhaps even a play on my vanity....and the struggle/fight to bring the wolf into submission was representing the struggle I am dealing with to try to gain some semblance of control over the downward spiral my life has been heading before it kills me/deforms me.

I would deeply appreciate others input on what they interpret this dream to mean. I want to make sure I am open and on the right path.
I would really love to hear ESP what Nenad and Wendy have to say because they have a similar belief system as I....but ALL input is welcome and appreciated.

Americans should consider this

If you have 2 hours, watch this video. You won't be sorry. It's an eye opener.....even if some of its conjecture.

www.zeitgeistmovie.com

The Journey.............

When you bring a pet into your life, you begin a journey. A
journey that will bring you more love and devotion than you have ever
known, yet will also test your strength and courage. If you allow, the
journey will teach you many things, about life, about yourself, and most
of all, about love. You will come away changed forever, for one soul
cannot touch another without leaving its mark.

Along the way, you will learn much about savoring life's simple
pleasures -- jumping in leaves, snoozing in the sun, the joys of
puddles, and even the satisfaction of a good scratch behind the ears.
If you spend much time outside, you will be taught how to truly experience
every element, for no rock, leaf, or log will go unexamined, no rustling
bush will be overlooked, and even the very air will be inhaled,
pondered, and noted as being full of valuable information.
Your pace may be slower, except when heading home to the food
dish, but you will become a better naturalist, having been taught by an
expert in the field. Too many times we hike on automatic pilot, our goal
being to complete the trail rather than enjoy the journey. We miss the
details: the colorful mushrooms on the rotting log, the honeycomb in
the old maple snag, the hawk feather caught on a twig.

Once we walk as a dog does, we discover a whole new world. We
stop; we browse the landscape, we kick over leaves, peek in tree holes,
look up, down, all around. And we learn what any dog knows that nature
has created a marvelously complex world that is full of surprises, that
each cycle of the seasons bring ever changing wonders, each day an
essence all its own, each day a gift from God.
Even from indoors you will find yourself more attuned to the
world around you. You will find yourself watching: summer insects
collecting on a screen; how bizarre they are; how many kinds there are
or noting the flick and flash of fireflies through the dark. You will
stop to observe the swirling dance of windblown leaves, or sniff the
air after a rain.

It does not matter that there is no objective in this;
the point is in the doing, in not letting life's most important details slip by.
You will find yourself doing silly things that your pet-less
friends might not understand: spending thirty minutes in the grocery
aisle looking for the cat food brand your feline must have, buying dog
birthday treats, or driving around the block an extra time because your
pet enjoys the ride.


You will roll in the snow, wrestle with chewier
toys, bounce little rubber balls till your eyes cross, and even run
around the house trailing your bathrobe tie with a cat in hot pursuit,
all in the name of love .

Your house will become muddier and hairier.
You will wear less dark clothing and buy more lint rollers. You may find dog biscuits in
your pocket or purse, and feel the need to explain that an old plastic
shopping bag adorns your living room rug because your cat loves the
crinkly sound. You will learn the true measure of love. The steadfast,
undying kind that says, "It doesn't matter where we are or what we do,
or how life treats us as long as we are together."

Respect this always. It is the most precious gift any living
soul can give another. You will not find it often among the human race.
And you will learn humility. The look in my dog's eyes often made me
feel ashamed. Such joy and love at my presence. She saw not some flawed
human who could be cross and stubborn, moody or rude, but only her
wonderful companion. Or maybe she saw those things and dismissed them
as mere human foibles, not worth considering, and so chose to love me anyway.

If you pay attention and learn well, when the journey is done,
you will be not just a better person, but the person your pet always
knew you to be. The one they were proud to call beloved friend.
I must caution you that this journey is not without pain. Like
all paths of true love, the pain is part of loving. For as surely as
the sun sets, one day your dear animal companion will follow a trail you
cannot yet go down. And you will have to find the strength and love to
let them go.

A pet's time on earth is far too short, especially for those
that love them. We borrow them, really, just for a while, and during
these brief years they are generous enough to give us all their love,
every inch of their spirit and heart, until one day there is nothing
left. The cat that only yesterday was a kitten is all too soon old and
frail and sleeping in the sun. The young pup of boundless energy now
wakes up stiff and lame, the muzzle gone to gray.
Deep down we somehow always knew that this journey would end. We
knew that if we gave our hearts they would be broken. But give them we
must for it is all they ask in return. When the time comes, and the
road curves ahead to a place we cannot see, we give one final gift and let
them run on ahead, young and whole once more. "God speed, good friend,"
we say, until our journey comes full circle and our paths cross again.
And bless their souls for sharing their lives with us... and
adding so much to our very existence.
Author Unknown...

The True Meaning In Thanks & Giving

Today is a holiday that honestly, I am surprised has survived historically. Native americans centuries ago went out of their way- as a result of their humane and generous nature.....to aid and help the pilgrims that came here.

Their greatest gift was to teach those few men and women how to feed, cloth and shelter themselves in a new land. They gave these men and women the gift of life and independance and how this country treated them in the following decades and centuries equates to cultural genocide.

Today I choose to honor strongly the Indiginous peoples of North America who so generously and so humanely went out of their way to help some strangers on their lands learn how to survive there against the odds.

I choose to honor their spirit of sharing and caring for each other. Having studied native americans extensively as well as had the honor of studying under one of their shamans....In the spirit of thanksgiving and sharing....

Today I will not forget those aboriginal peoples who made such wonderful gifts to total strangers....nor will I forget to honor the Turkey; which this holiday aptly represents as both a spirit guide and totem animal.

Turkey has long been the selfless giver of its own life so that we may eat & live. Do not forget to honor its sacrifice today so that we and our families may celebrate our lives and our gift of independence.

Give thanks today for so many reasons.....and enjoy the good food, the good company and good cheer of this warm fall holiday....but please do not forget to give thanks to the contributors and originators of this holiday by honoring the memory of all they sacrificed to teach us about what it means to really be....Thankful for all we have and those that share our journey thru this life and world....

Both human and animal.