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Ally

offline 127 friends
joined on 10/04/06
last updated 07/07/08
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Tori Amos- Big Wheel

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In The Flesh

There Is No Difference, except SHE....
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Book Of Mirrors...

today is better....
i wrote this yesturday( poem below), because thats how it is, how im treated...i just want to be accepted a little, even...i want to b e seen as someone who can be loved...

poem:

Am I the cause of all the 'sighs'? The urgent ringing in man's ears?
Am I the forgotten when gone?
Am I the induction of relief when not around?
Am I the punching bag for the m addened and enraged, swinging aimlessly, pendulously on higher ground?
Am I to be forever, the blamed?
... read more
Sat, July 12, 2008 - 2:33 AM permalink - 4 comments
 
you know what?..things got better, so so much better, all of a sudden, then people met ME.
ME.

and now things have turned to shit...people are people, and will never accept someone, or something different, so let me , allow me to introduce the negative aspect of this discussion..FUCK THOSE PEOPLE, because they hurt me, they REDUCE me to tears and affect me, and if I DO, AND I will, succeed in my next ( suicide)attempt, allow me to FEEL THE NEED TO BLAME THE BASTARDS...they are cruel and... read more
Fri, July 11, 2008 - 6:46 AM permalink - 3 comments
 
Love is too big for him....hurt is his forte... he feeds and grows off of using...using the 'me' thats left for sex...he uses me and hurts me with faking it all, faking love and feeding off of my pain...with him i am alone and restless, a roamer in the world of inevitable selfishness...im in pain and still recovering from induced hurt...fuck em all...i am alone in it all, alone in this reality, struggling through my surreality...love is pain...madness, my shame, my fear...my losing the self i... read more
Sat, June 14, 2008 - 4:54 PM permalink - 2 comments
 
Am sad today...but things are reasonably alright...ive recently started a job at a backpackers 45 mins outside of Port Elizabeth, my home town and its going alright...

Im a bit lonely but im grateful for this opportunity to save up money to do my studies in Port Elizabeth, at the old erica campus, I want to do Graphic design, and then psychology...from there id like to move away from South Africa and study art therapy...at the moment im re doing my last few matric exams, as everyone knows,... read more
Sat, June 7, 2008 - 1:29 PM permalink - 7 comments
 
i am putting myself up for adoption...someone please do adopt me because id like to be adopted...me feel sooo sad today..
Mon, June 2, 2008 - 9:39 AM permalink - 22 comments
 
For those who are unaware of what xenophobia is, it is the descrimination( by violent acts) of anyone not of your country/ culture...

What has been happening in South Africa at the moment is absolutely awful.

Africans have been targetting other Africans from Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Somalia and, well, just anyone who dares come into our country to escape dictatorship rule...these fellow Africans are just looking for a Democratic country to feel safe in, and to work to feed the family.

... read more
Wed, May 28, 2008 - 12:46 PM permalink - 8 comments
 
I am so sickened by people's hate speeches towards me.

I believe that if one dares to reduce someone to inadequacy (in their eyes) they ought to have the respect and love enough to give the person pointers on improvement at least. One should never break down another and then on top of it all not care for what the other has to say. People should take time to listen to each other, to HEAR eachother.

We are all inevitably different, some young, some older, some bruised, some suffering repe... read more
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 2:41 AM permalink - 3 comments
 
The loudest silences are filled with everything thats been said

I know I've spikes along this box wherein I sit
You cut your hands every time you reach out
Hold your breath-feel it
Thats me without you

In a world inbetween Heaven and the great abyss
All the world screams out - All thats charged with the grandeur of God
Is this where you'll not go nor risk?
Your hand touches sorrow when you choose to
Your ardour, your free hugs flame out like shining from shaken foil
No need fo... read more
Sat, September 15, 2007 - 7:10 AM permalink - 0 comments
 
One of my favourite poems...something that needs to be shared and taken into the very soul...



The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer



It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squarin... read more
Sat, August 11, 2007 - 5:21 AM permalink - 2 comments
 
Ere to black Hecate's summons
Lilith doth all in her favour protect
Triad of glistening black crows doth skies above in black cloud veil
Crows make wing to th' eucalyptus wood, dense and impenetrable
Cloaked by Morrigans hood, bathed in the blood of those enlightened by pain
Enter brave one, blackness doth to its prey rouse
O treachery as slow feet doth guide yee i' th' midst
Confined and bound
O wretched dismal and macabre end
Thu, February 15, 2007 - 10:27 AM permalink - 3 comments
 
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They sit on top of my cupboard with me..

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Gaea

Gaea
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The Valley Of The Unforgivens Soul...

Gender
Female
Age
21
Location
about me
Old Soul in a new age world...Lone gypsy in a gothic hippie robe....Strange little girl in a woman suit with a pen up her sleeve and a poem on her lips...Silent sparrow spilling forth pain in a loud world...

"LOOK back on time with kindly eyes,
He doubtless did his best;
How softly sinks his trembling sun
In human nature’s west! "
- Emily Dickinson

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Butterflies don't bleed

Love.Light.Hope.Pain.Acceptance.Confusion.FEELING.
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tORI aMOS- bELLS fOR hER

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Bent- Alanis Morissette

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Make it easy, easy

Arcane
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Enlightened beings

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Transform

Trancide
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So Mote It Be!!


Aine:
One of the great Goddesses of ancient Ireland survives in modern times as the queen of the Fairies of South Munster, the southwest corner of the island and is said to haunt Knockainy Hill there. Originally Aine was a sun goddess who assumed the form of Lair Derg (red mare), the horse that none could outrun. Her special feast was Midsummer Night, when farmers carried torches of straw in procession around Knockainy and waved them over the cattle and the field for protection and fruitfulness.


Angus of the Brugh / Oengus of the Bruig:
God of Youth, son of Dagda.


Anu:
One of the ancestor Goddesses of Ireland, some say she is the same Goddess as Aine. Others say she is identical to Danu. In any case, she was known as a force of prosperity and abundance.


Arianrhod:
"Silver Wheel", "High Fruitful Mother". One of the Three Virgins of Britiain, her palace is Caer Arianrhod, the Celtic name for the Aurora Borealis. Lady of the Silver Wheel.


Badb:
A Goddes of war. Bird shaped and crimson mouthed, Badb uses her magic to decide battles. One of the forms of the Morrigan. Badb often washes the clothing and armor of men she has doomed to die in combat in rivers and streams. When she lowered her hands to the water, it ran red with blood; when she raised them, the water disapeared, leaving a fordable pass.


Brighid / Brigit:
The Great Triple Goddess of the Celtic Irish - Goddes of healing and craftsmanship, patron of learning and poetry. The devotion of the Irish to their Goddess was so deep that the Christians "converted" her along with her people. They called her Bridget, the human daughter of a Druid, and claimed she was baptized by St. Patrick himself.


Cerridwen / Caridwen:
"White Grain" "Old White One" Corn Goddess. Mother of Taliesen, greatest and wisest of all the bards, and therefore a patron of poets. Caridwen lives among the stars in the land of Caer Sidi, and is connected with wolves. Some claim her "cult" dates to the neolithic era.


Cernunnos:
Horned God of virility. Cernunnos wears the torque (neck-ring) and is always in the company of a ram-headed serpent and a stag. Extremely popular among the Celts, his "cult" was a serious obstacle to the spread of Christianity.


Dagda:
Earh and father God. Dagda possesses a bottomless cauldron of plenty and rules the seasons with the music of his harp. With his mighty club Dagda can slay nine men with a single blow, and with it small end he can bring them back to life. On the day of the New Year, Dagda mates with the raven Goddess of the Morrigan.


Danu:
The greatest of the Goddesses of ancient Ireland, Danu was the ruler of a tribe of divinities called Tuatha de Danaan, the people of Danu. Her name derives fom the Old Celtic dan, meaning knoweledge, and she was probably the same Goddess as the Welsh Don. Some scholars see her as the same as the Goddess Anu, while others contend that she is an aspect of Brigid.


Donn:
Irish counterpart of the Gauls Dis Pater. Donn sends storms and wrecks ships, but also protects cattle and crops.


Epona:
Horse goddess usually portrayed as riding a mare, sometimes with a foal.


Lug /Lugh/ Lleu:
A sun and hero God, young, strong, master of all arts, skills and craft. One day Lug arrived at the court of the Dagda and demanded to be admitted to the company of the Gods. The gatekeeper asked him what he could do and for every skill or art Lug named, the gatekeeper replied that there was already one among them who had mastered it. Lug at last pointed out that they had no one who had mastered them all, and so gained a place among the deities.


Macha:
"Crow" The third of the triad of war Goddesses known as the Morrigan. Like many other Celtic Goddesses, Macha was threefold - athlete, queen and warrior- called Macha, wife of Nemed; Macha, wife of Cruchchu; and Macha the Red to distinguish the exploits of the Goddess' different aspects.


Morrigan, The:
There was a trinity of Goddesses of war and death in ancient Ireland, and scholars argue about which one was the preeminet figure. Was Morrigan a form of Badb, or the other way around? Was Nemain the same as, or different from, Macha? Was the overall name Morrigan, with the component parts being Macha, Badb and Nemain; or was there no overall name, with Macha being a completely different Goddess? The only thing that distinguished Morrigan from the otheres was her association with magic; she sang runes and cast charms before battles to strengthen her favorites.


Nemain:
Her name means "venomous one". She was one of the powereful battle goddesses of ancient Ireland and was related to the crow Goddess Morrigan.


Nuadhu / Nud/ Nodens/ Lud:
Nuadhu of the silver arm - God of healing and water; his name suggests "wealth-bringer" and "cloud maker". At the first battle of Moytura, Nuadhu lost an arm and Dian Cecht replaced it with a new one made out of silver. Because of this, Nuadhu was obliged to turn over leadership of Tuatha de' Dannann.


Ogmios / Ogma:
"Sun Face" A hero God like Hercules, a God of eloquence, language and genius. Generally protrayed as an old man dressed in a lion skin.

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My Recommendations

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"Ozark Avalon"
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My Recent Activity

Re: The Legacy of Shame (in Depression) im so down today...time to sit in my cupboard again..
discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 12:29 PM
Re: Medications (in Borderline Personality Disorder) im on lamotragene and prozac...fun fun...well, i suppose its best that if one needs the meds, just submit to it. I know i have to take it and it is helping.hope your app went well daughter...
discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 12:05 PM
Re: Emptiness persist (in Borderline Personality Disorder) i too am a self injurer and it is not an easy task, the trying to abstain from the urge to cut. I enjoy reading poetry; or music; sometimes a good walk helps one calm down...or phone someone.if you would like, i can give you my cell number and you... read more
discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 12:02 PM
Re: Loneliness (in Borderline Personality Disorder) try to be around people...the less time you spend alone, the less time there is to dwell...it'll be okay....you are not ALONE.....and the feeling of loneliness will go eventually...i hope you are doing better...xxx
discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 11:58 AM
Re: Hello everyone... (in Borderline Personality Disorder) hey there...yup, was having trouble with my internet connection, seems okay now, however busy lately with art commisions...how you all doing today?xxx
discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 11:55 AM
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Lilith

Lilith