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today is better....
Sat, July 12, 2008 - 2:33 AM
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i wrote this yesturday( poem below), because thats how it is, how im treated...i just want to be accepted a little, even...i want to b e seen as someone who can be loved... poem: Am I the cause of all the 'sighs'? The urgent ringing in man's ears? Am I the forgotten when gone? Am I the induction of relief when not around? Am I the punching bag for the m addened and enraged, swinging aimlessly, pendulously on higher ground? Am I to be forever, the blamed? ... read more
you know what?..things got better, so so much better, all of a sudden, then people met ME.
Fri, July 11, 2008 - 6:46 AM
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ME. and now things have turned to shit...people are people, and will never accept someone, or something different, so let me , allow me to introduce the negative aspect of this discussion..FUCK THOSE PEOPLE, because they hurt me, they REDUCE me to tears and affect me, and if I DO, AND I will, succeed in my next ( suicide)attempt, allow me to FEEL THE NEED TO BLAME THE BASTARDS...they are cruel and... read more
Love is too big for him....hurt is his forte... he feeds and grows off of using...using the 'me' thats left for sex...he uses me and hurts me with faking it all, faking love and feeding off of my pain...with him i am alone and restless, a roamer in the world of inevitable selfishness...im in pain and still recovering from induced hurt...fuck em all...i am alone in it all, alone in this reality, struggling through my surreality...love is pain...madness, my shame, my fear...my losing the self i...
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Sat, June 14, 2008 - 4:54 PM
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Am sad today...but things are reasonably alright...ive recently started a job at a backpackers 45 mins outside of Port Elizabeth, my home town and its going alright...
Sat, June 7, 2008 - 1:29 PM
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Im a bit lonely but im grateful for this opportunity to save up money to do my studies in Port Elizabeth, at the old erica campus, I want to do Graphic design, and then psychology...from there id like to move away from South Africa and study art therapy...at the moment im re doing my last few matric exams, as everyone knows,... read more
i am putting myself up for adoption...someone please do adopt me because id like to be adopted...me feel sooo sad today..
Mon, June 2, 2008 - 9:39 AM
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For those who are unaware of what xenophobia is, it is the descrimination( by violent acts) of anyone not of your country/ culture...
Wed, May 28, 2008 - 12:46 PM
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What has been happening in South Africa at the moment is absolutely awful. Africans have been targetting other Africans from Zimbabwe, Mozambique, Somalia and, well, just anyone who dares come into our country to escape dictatorship rule...these fellow Africans are just looking for a Democratic country to feel safe in, and to work to feed the family. ... read more
I am so sickened by people's hate speeches towards me.
Fri, September 28, 2007 - 2:41 AM
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I believe that if one dares to reduce someone to inadequacy (in their eyes) they ought to have the respect and love enough to give the person pointers on improvement at least. One should never break down another and then on top of it all not care for what the other has to say. People should take time to listen to each other, to HEAR eachother. We are all inevitably different, some young, some older, some bruised, some suffering repe... read more
The loudest silences are filled with everything thats been said
Sat, September 15, 2007 - 7:10 AM
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I know I've spikes along this box wherein I sit You cut your hands every time you reach out Hold your breath-feel it Thats me without you In a world inbetween Heaven and the great abyss All the world screams out - All thats charged with the grandeur of God Is this where you'll not go nor risk? Your hand touches sorrow when you choose to Your ardour, your free hugs flame out like shining from shaken foil No need fo... read more
One of my favourite poems...something that needs to be shared and taken into the very soul...
Sat, August 11, 2007 - 5:21 AM
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The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squarin... read more
Ere to black Hecate's summons
Thu, February 15, 2007 - 10:27 AM
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Lilith doth all in her favour protect Triad of glistening black crows doth skies above in black cloud veil Crows make wing to th' eucalyptus wood, dense and impenetrable Cloaked by Morrigans hood, bathed in the blood of those enlightened by pain Enter brave one, blackness doth to its prey rouse O treachery as slow feet doth guide yee i' th' midst Confined and bound O wretched dismal and macabre end
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Gender
Female
Age
21
Location
about me
Old Soul in a new age world...Lone gypsy in a gothic hippie robe....Strange little girl in a woman suit with a pen up her sleeve and a poem on her lips...Silent sparrow spilling forth pain in a loud world...
"LOOK back on time with kindly eyes, He doubtless did his best; How softly sinks his trembling sun In human nature’s west! " - Emily Dickinson
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**Nirvana**,
10th Circle Of Hell Welcoming Commitee,
A Gathering for King Black Acid,
Alive In SPite Of PTSD,
all alone...,
Re: The Legacy of Shame
(in Depression)
im so down today...time to sit in my cupboard again..
discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 12:29 PM
Re: Medications
(in Borderline Personality Disorder)
im on lamotragene and prozac...fun fun...well, i suppose its best that if one needs the meds, just submit to it. I know i have to take it and it is helping.hope your app went well daughter...
discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 12:05 PM
Re: Emptiness persist
(in Borderline Personality Disorder)
i too am a self injurer and it is not an easy task, the trying to abstain from the urge to cut. I enjoy reading poetry; or music; sometimes a good walk helps one calm down...or phone someone.if you would like, i can give you my cell number and you...
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discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 12:02 PM
Re: Loneliness
(in Borderline Personality Disorder)
try to be around people...the less time you spend alone, the less time there is to dwell...it'll be okay....you are not ALONE.....and the feeling of loneliness will go eventually...i hope you are doing better...xxx
discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 11:58 AM
Re: Hello everyone...
(in Borderline Personality Disorder)
hey there...yup, was having trouble with my internet connection, seems okay now, however busy lately with art commisions...how you all doing today?xxx
discussion post on Thu, November 12, 2009 - 11:55 AM
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