While I was driving to burning man I had two thoughts that I think are worth mention.

1. The trek out to the playa for me begins full or all the worries, and mucked up thought processes from the rest of the world, but because for me it is a solitary journey I have found that the hours of road and music start healing a lot of the damage that the previous year has done, and kindles those good things that I have learned. For me the trek there, and out are as much a part of the experience as the man burning if not much, much more.

2. As some of you know my truck is (though very loved) not still in her early years. The trip up the mountain was hard for her, and as I drove higher and higher into the mountains in the sun I found myself (literally) talking to her. Encouraging her, and telling her that I knew it was hard, and I (having completed basic training on a broken hip) knew that it seemed almost impossible to conquer each uphill slope but that it would be worth it. I think that as much as machines are able, that little truck WANTED to go to burningman. I had a good laugh at my self and continued willing her to go on, despite any snooty sports cars that zipped up the hill like it was nothing. I felt a parallel between my actions with my truck, and God with us. Now, mind you... I have, as most of us know dove into every thing I do head first, including the Mormon religion. I don't want to come across here like that is the ONLY way to find God. It just seems like whether you are taking this route or that more than anything, some routes to the desert are prettier but take longer, and others are very efficient and work well. What ever you call it, we are all generally trying to go to the same place, and we are just taking different routes, and calling that end destination by different names. Yes, it was harder for my truck to make it out there, and it is harder for some people, and easier than others, BBBBBuuut.... I felt like the universe, or God, or Goddess or the team was routing for us to make it up our hills just like I was my truck, even though it wasn't fair or easy and I wanted to lay that out. I am totally sure I should go back and edit this, and am not sure I will even bother, this is the first time I tried really putting it to words and I apologize for any disjointedness.

Moving right along, the burn was amazing and wonderful as ever. Kicked things off with a full moon, full lunar eclipse, arsonist filled night of decadent fun, had mild weather with only one really good dust storm, and healed spiritually for a week. I may write another, with a little more detail but for now, it was a good burn over all, and I love my black rock family.

So then. I came home from the burn to find that my little bear has chicken pox... when they say there is no rest for the wicked, they sure aint kidden huh? Anyway, he sure has been a trouper about it, but he has been miserable and I can tell; it sucks. He seems to be over the worst of it, and emotionally is (aside from a little frustrated from the itching) a very happy kid.

The "new guy" is actually not that new, he has been a friend for years, he is a good man, in fact... enough a man that I feel like a lady when I am with him. I feel like a divine creature with him, and I absolutely adore it. *bout damn time you ask me ;) Anyway, after an initial feeling things out period he came out of his shell a little and I totally adore him as well. He said that I am his dream girl, and he just feels "RIGHT" to me, if that makes any sense I don't rightly care, but I have fallen for him. My big concern thus far is that he seems to perfect, I am trying not to expect that ***JUST KIDDING*** slap in the face where it all goes kerthump, but it is hard to not have a little reservations. We will see, I haven't given up yet, and if I break my heart a thousand more times; I hope that I will dust myself off and keep trying a thousand more. I REALLY hope that this will be it, no more heartbreaks, no more games, or dating BLEH (I hate dating) just two people who love each other settling into a warm loving friendship that will carry on till they are crazy old folk. sigh.... yeah that sounds nice,


*oh yeah, and yesterdy he sent flowers,... my favorite flowers (easter lillys *the swoopy kind) with roses.... ahhhhhh sigh