Cell phones are okay after all...

It took me a while to decide whether the cell phone is just one more onerous piece of clutter with which I am forced to load down my pockets.

I know that many-many people in the world find cell phones to be miracle devices. They enable us to maintain a siamese-twin-like contact with our friends and loved ones (Im brd, sup w/ u? ... nuthin, u? ... nuthin ... bumr) because the tragedy would be of Greek proportions if a conversation with someone not in the room were permitted to lull for more than sixteen minutes, or worse yet (horror!) actaully end. One might be forced to pay attention to the people nearby: other friends, classmates, teacher, co-workers, boss, customers, traffic, the friendly highway patrolman...

For myself, however, that addiction-platform feature is the primary thing that has kept me from deciding cell phones are actually beneficial to people. Just because the AMA hasn't labeled a particular addiction as bad (cell phones, texting, Starbucks, Giga pets) doesn't mean the addiction is harmless. It only means that no pharmaceutical company with a big war chest has yet come up with a lucrative drug to combat the addiction.

I'm introducing too many subjects, however. My point is that I finally have decided the cell phone is -despite containing inherent dangers- indeed something good. I suppose it's more accurate to say that the cell phone finally won me over.

I was driving with my daughter to a special place I wanted her to see. A place where, when I was in high school, I used to take my dog for long walkies and hours of tennis-ball fun. A place that, for me, is a node of peace and tranquility and memories of joy. But the drive was a bit of a long one, and sitting in a car seat isn't exactly engaging, and the mind of a six-year-old just plain gets bored in the car. Additionally, it'd been a few days since I talked with Mom, and I had a bit of news to share. The news could wait until I got home to a land line or an email box. There'd be no harm whatsoever in letting the news wait another 8-10 hours. But I had an idea...

Picked up the phone. Dialed Mom. (Dad had two theatre productions for him to take care of, or he'd have been there too.) Gave her the news. She was excited and happy. Had a nice decent chat, actually exchanging information - neither one of us saying, "I'm bored, what's up with you?"

Best thing:
When all the news was shared back and forth, and Mom and I were about chatted-out, I asked Mom if she'd like to chat for a bit with Ona Bug. I knew the answer, of course. But it was fun to look up in the kiddie mirror and see Bug's face light up. Mom sounding delighted, and Bug with a big Kool-Aid grin on her face, I passed the phone back to Bug. Much happy chatting commenced. They had a grand visit, over the phone.

A very simple action, that.
But it made the two most precious ladies in my life very, very happy.

Okay, cell phone. Ya got me.
You can stay.

Kahn

[Warning: Mild gaming-geekery within.]

[Note: Many of the proper nouns here are neither capitalized nor easily identifiable as to who they might be. Doesn't matter. They're handles. I have copied this straight from a different blog format, and I am not going to re-edit.]

[That said, here it is]

Happily, much like last year...
- Refreshing break from routine.
- Good friends.
- Good games.
- Yummy eye-candy.
- And more new ideas for games to run next year.

***** FRIDAY *****

Arrived, unpacked, and helped rescue a damsel from a locked tower without even being in a game. deirdremoon, a definitively capable damsel, ordinarily does not need rescuing from anything. In this instance, however, she had been outmaneuvered by sly and sinister forces (the hotel staff and their subcompetence).

Always feels good to rescue a damsel and make the Manometer tick upward a bit.

With dancingshaman, completed most of the remaining work to be done on our game while logan_w got into a game being run by a friend. After-hours party for LARP folks was several kinds of fun. Catching up with old friends. Making new friends. Discovering new drinks (thank you loupyone!) that my body will allow me to take without objectionable consequences. (Almost never been drunk - usually just get to feeling sick.) All fun was good fun, but the making new friends part was my favorite. Then, finally, a little bit of sleep.

***** SATURDAY *****

355 days of the year, my body assertively wants to sleep in, and I normally have to set 3 alarms to successfully wake myself up. Not so at a con, it seems. With no sleep since Wednesday (writing-vs-sleeping, writing wins), and enough alcohol Friday night to make me goofy (yeah-yeah... more than normal, wiseguys), my body nevertheless woke up of its own accord after 4 hours, before any of my alarms went off. A very nice, peaceful catching-up breakfast with amywithani involved lots of protein, as I remembered how easy it is to get to midnight at a con and find I've not eaten anything since breakfast. I feel I showed considerable restraint in not knocking down the sightseeing families obstructing my path to the bacon. (Yes, sightseeing. Yes, at the buffet table. No, I don't understand it, either.)

Shiny Thing Games put on a neefty cool mind-bender of a LARP. A cool idea for the revelation of lost memories. A locked room to escape, a post-apocalyptic town to explore, frightfully strong monsters to survive, good complex puzzles to solve throughout, and some secret muhaha's at the end to twist around what you'd thought you had all figured out. Oh, and brass knuckles. I distinctly remember a very up-close, very abrupt viewing of some brass knuckles. (Oof!)

Evening came. dancingshaman, the grizzled veteran of Chuckling Cthulhu (logan_w being a veteran, but not so grizzly), was all a-twitter over whether everything would be okay with our game. And I was the relaxed one, confident everything would be fine. Seemed like an odd reversal of who ought to be nervous - considering this was the first LARP I'd ever run or written. (Not trying to hog credit for all the writing... We wrote in equal portions.)

The game was a hoot, for me. Not surprising, since creative people are fun to do creative things with. I had no end of fun with the players who managed to take our characters and plotlines, and go left. And some who saw the yellow, "Caution - Bridge Out!" tape across the road, and hit the accelerator. One fun difference between tabletops and LARPs that I got to experience for the first time: Players taking characters I'd written, and *visually* defining them for me. There are a few characters whom I will not be able to see any other way, ever again. Made of awesome.

Most importantly: People seemed to have fun.
Mission accomplished.
Pack it all away... Happy dance!

Post-midnight. After-hours party. deirdremoon built up some karma points by going to the bone. (Don't read too much into that - it's G-rated.) Helped a lot for winding down. This party, many strange faces. Some nice to meet, others just strange. For CC's part, we were wiped. Stayed long enough to chat a bit with people we wanted to see, and dragged our butts up to sleep.

***** SUNDAY *****

Crashed.

Yeah, I was awake... I just didn't want to acknowledge it. The big thing was over, and I was in a cavernous, empty, "So, now what?" kind of place. Tagged along with dancingshaman and logan_w to breakfast, because I knew I'd pay later if I didn't get fuel. Took a while to find the cure for the blah. Turned out it was to start writing the sequel. (I'm moderately worried about what that says about me, but I'm writing it nonetheless.) The laughter came back.

Mostly relaxing day. Had enough free time to take a much-needed nap (guess it's only at night my body doesn't care about rest at a con). Got to meet up in person with an online friend and chat and build more of a friendship. Good guy. Glad to know him. Side benefit: he owns a game store. Never hurts to know a guy like that.

Dreams Of Deirdre's game.

First thing I'll say - the game rocked my socks! I was so busy and so involved that when the game came to an end, I was slightly puzzled, feeling as though we'd only been at it maybe 2 hours, not 6.

Funny jag for me (well, it'll be funnier as time goes by): deirdremoon gave me a character with a personal history and situation that couldn't help but push tectonically-powerful buttons in my own life. And then amywithani did a marvelous job with her character, which unfortunately involved pushing those buttons like she was playing Whack-A-Mole. Acting the dramatic emotions (pain/grief/longing/loss/fear) has never been easier. It was holding myself together in between that required the drill sergeant. And, as ever, the writer/observer in the corner of my mind sat back, taking notes about how it all affected me for real, and giggling at my dilemma. If ever I find a psychic fly-swatter, that f*cker is in for a world of hurt...

Lest anyone get the wrong impression, deirdremoon could not have known ahead of time what playing that character would do to me. I don't think even dancingshaman could have known it, and he knows me better than anybody. And despite the game-long shock of feeling like I'd been hollowed out with an egg beater, I also enjoyed the hell out of the game. From a writer's standpoint. From a player's standpoint. Marvelous fun that I would not trade. I'd gladly do it again. (Though, as with writing my sequel, I'm moderately worried about what that says about me.)

After-hours party was very nice relaxation. Returned deirdremoon's GM-massage karma, achieving the droopy-eyed smiling face that says you hit the right spots. More of loupyone's wonderful Scotch and Port (not as much as Friday, for me). Almost all of us were able to embrace the, "I'm done," cooldown. Best thing: I found that some folks who'd only been tenuous or distant acquaintances had turned into friends. Always a warm fuzzy. Sleepystumbled to bed, beating the morning Sun by a smidge.

***** MONDAY *****

Seriously, this body-wanting-to-be-up-early thing is just foreign and weird to me. But there I was, inexplicably wide awake by 8:30, regardless of alcohol and sleep-deprivation. So, breakfast. Protein (BACON!) and orange juice, and more calm, relaxed visiting with several good friends. Not heaven, but in the same league.

Sad to say goodbye.
Nature of the beast, though. Nothing ever starts that isn't going to end.
That's what I said to myself.
No, it didn't work.

Got packed up, said goodbyes, crammed ourselves into the car, and headed out.

On the way home, while I dozed in the back seat, a cephalopod melded with me. No sh*t, all on it's own. dancingshaman got a photo, which hopefully he'll send to me.

***** STILL MONDAY? *****

Got home. Cas grabbed my leg and wouldn't let go.
Okay, he's a cat - what he really did was maow and arch his back and rub against my ankle, again and again and again and again and again. But saying it the other way sounds funnier. Checked his food, water, litter. Happy to see I'd left him plenty of each. Good daddy.

Crashed.
Didn't... want... to... do... ANYTHING.

Unpacked. A little.
Napped. A little.

***** NO, SERIOUSLY, STILL MONDAY? *****

I may have failed to explain that I am an idiot.
It's usually not the first thing I bring up, in conversation.

So, I've been wanting to get myself out of the house more, lately. Specifically, wanting to be physically active again, in any one of a variety of ways. Two of the new friends I mentioned earlier learned I used to enjoy Irish dancing, until about my 4th-5th feis, when the snarly-competitive mindset ("Dancing is not for enjoyment, we dance to *WIN!!!*") had built up enough over time to suck all the fun out of it for me, and I stopped.

These two (separately, not ganging up on me) invited me to go to a place they like to go to for fun, laid-back Irish ceili dancing. Without the carbon rod up the ass, without the resentful competitive us-vs-them sentiments.

Thing is, it happens on Monday nights.
So, I went.

Body: You don't really want to do this, do you?
Me: Yes.
Body: But tonight? NOW?
Me: Monday nights are when it happens.
Body: But this long weekend was exhausting. I'm tired. You're tired!
Me: You're the one wanted to get up before we needed to each morning.
Body: That bed sure is looking gooood...
Me: No. If I don't get myself out that door tonight, I know I won't do it next week either, and that'll pretty much be that.
Body: You're only determined to go because they're girls.
Me: [Blink]... -the hell's wrong with that? [Tries to picture dancing with just guys. No-go.]
Body: Admit it - if they'd been guys, we'd be lying down getting the rest we need right now.
Me: Your point?
Body: You're avoiding my real question.
Me: You haven't asked your real question.
Body: Are you-
Me: We're going. Grab the water.
Body: I hate you.

Upon arrival, I had to laugh at my luck (perhaps lack of same?). The dance they were teaching this particular Monday evening was the Polka Set. I remember this one from St. Pat’s at Blackpoint. I also remember we always saved it for the very end of each day, because every dancer was dead at the end. Okay, not dead-dead, but nobody was going to get back up and do any more dancing afterwards. It's especially vigorous. And it's been nearly 8 years since I was sufficiently active in anything to consider myself remotely in shape.

I received many warnings and I-told-you-so's from my body, throughout the evening.
But, I had expected I would. And I was careful to listen and heed the warnings.

About midnight, I climbed back into my car and headed home, this time to truly get some rest.

It was 100% worth it.
Oodles 'n spoodles of fun.
And getting my body active again will only be both good and better.

***** QUESTION ANSWERED *****

Quite by accident, I stumbled onto a very reasonable (I think) answer to a question posed Monday morning by dancingshaman: "Why do we do this, again?" My flippant answer at the time was a cheerful, "'Cause we're stupid." However, thinking about it later, I came to the conclusion that my issue Sunday morning gave me the real answer - at least for me.

The most enjoyable way to recover from con-crash is to immediately begin barnstorming ideas and writing the next game. (Yes, I know... but "barnstorming" gives me a visual that's more fun.) We may have been stupid to run the first one we ever did (effectively, the "first hit" - the beginning of the endless cycle). But we continue, quite simply, to stave off the desperate, "What now?" empty feeling of con-crash.

Or, maybe that's just me.

But if it is, y'all can put yer own answers in yer own journals. ;-)

Good weekend.
Cheers, all.

A Year Goes By

((Maybe there's something about getting sick right after New Year's Day. It jumped in, took hold, and wouldn't let go until I'd written it down.))

Seasons change.
I am more. I am less.
Both are good.

My angel visits. My lucky one eve a week.
We talk, we laugh, we play.
Dinner.
Homework.
Candyland.
And then

Sometimes The Electric Company.
Sometimes a bath.
Depends how active the day, how ratty her hair.
Talk all the while, ‘bout everything that strikes her fancy.

The space of a blink.
Her ride is here, time to go home.
Traitorous clock! I’d shake my fist, would it do any good.

Hello, come in, yes-quite, she’s fine.
One moment, just getting her shoes on –

Yes, love, you have to go.
Because it’s time.
Be good. Be safe. I’ll see you next week.
Thank you for visiting, my angel. You make me so happy!
I love you more than anything. Anything!

Watch her walk out the door.
Hold face. Hold silence.

She is bigger this week than last.
Next week she’ll be bigger again.
Just the way of things.

…Just the way of things.

Round the corner now.
I close the door.
The quiet, normally a blanket, is piercing cold empty.

Shower. Solace.
Steady comforting white noise.
Warmth. Streaming down my face.
In the shower, I can pretend it’s water.
And the world can’t see.

A year goes by.

80's

1. How old were you in 1980?
11-12

2. How old were you in 1989?
If you can't add 9 for yourself, bugger off and quit asking me questions.

3. Were you a Toys R' Us kid?
Woulda' been if there'd been one around.

4. Did you watch Transformers?
Yeah, but only to get to Star Blazers.

5. Did you see E.T. on the big screen?
Yes. Was not equal to the hype.

6. Did you own a Lite Bright?
No.

7. Who is your Favorite Golden Girl
Change channel...

8. When someone says "Who you gonna call?" You think?
Ghost-BUSTERS!
(and the Ray Parker Jr. / Huey Lewis controversy)

9. What was your favorite toy?
Toss-up between soccer ball and Atari & C-64.

10. Did you have a Hyper-color shirt?
No.

11. Did you listen to New Kids on the Block?
No.

12. 'Forever Young'- Alphaville or Rod Stewert?
Never heard of Alphaville, so Rod Stewart.

13. Freddy or Jason?
Jason is a mute hockey mask and 1000-gallons of ketchup.
Freddy is actually scary.

14. Did you have a Swatch Watch?
No.

15. USA for Africa or Band-Aid?
I heard of them.

16. Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?
Both massive fun, but Ferris squeaks out the win.

17. Star Wars Toys or GI Joe?
Star Wars.

18. Did you ever play MASH?
Watched it over and over. Never played it.

19. The Breakfast Club or Sixteen Candles?
Both.

20. Did you have a crazy hairstyle?
No.

21. What was your first bike?
I think it was called a "Roadmaster." I have no idea whether that was a model name or a manufacturer's name.

22. Name one thing you still own from your childhood?
- Many stuffed animals
- A Kermit-the-Frog pillowcase
- A Snoopy sleeping bag
- Family heirlooms & memorabilia
- My sense of curiosity & wonder
- My conviction that the world should be a place where people treat each other with courtesy and compassion.

23. Did you have a Cabbage Patch Kid?
Bleah, no.

24. Madonna or Cyndi Lauper?
Eh, either.

25. Night Court or Cosby Show?
I liked the Cosby Show, but NIGHT COURT!!!

26. Did you watch Miami Vice?
Couple times.

27. Tight Roll your pants or Parachute Pants?
Bluejeans. Left 'em alone.

28. Did you own a Trapper Keeper?
No.

29. Atari or Comadore 64?
Atari 2600 and Commodore 64.

30. Did you play Pac-Man?
A little.

31. Which was better: the Goonies or Stand By Me?
Each was outstanding for different reasons.

32. Say Anything or Better Off Dead?
John Cusak is made of awesome.

33. What movie scared you the most?
Nightmare on Elm Street.

34. Did you try to dance like Michael Jackson?
No.

35. Rolling Stone said U2 was the band of the 80's, who was the band of the 80's?
Van Halen.

36. Do you remember the founding members of Depeche Mode?
No.

37. Wham! or George Michael?
Nah.

38. Oingo Boingo or Talking Heads?
Both.

39. Blue Monday; 1980 version or 1988 version?
I do not know what Blue Monday is.

40. Back to the Future or Indian Jones?
Very close, but Indiana Jones.

Optimism

For the first morning since October, I didn't have to wake up to an alarm clock. My body is so much happier with me now.

Just a wink after 9am, I was enjoying the luxury of not having to rush about, when I found my brain humming along to "The Entertainer." At first it took me a moment to identify the music. Then, I thought to wonder why that particular tune was playing itself over and over in my head. Then, my ears tapped on my brain, pointing out that the music was originating somewhere outside.

December 24. Pretty well into the chilly season.
There was an ice cream truck trolling the neighborhood.

Grinning, I continued reading my book.

More questions answered

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Why "or"???

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Meh, wherever.

4. Pork, beef, or chicken?
Not while I'm sleeping or having sex...

5. Have you ever had to pull over on the side of the road to puke?
No.

6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No.

7. Shower or bath?
Depends on how much time I have.

8. Do you pee in the shower?
No. I have a toilet.

9. Mexican or Chinese?
I like the Mexican pyramids/ziggurats well enough (though I like the Incan ones better), but the Chinese win hands-down for the scale and audacity of that big wall thing.

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Depends on definitions: I don't want someone just lying there, and I don't want pain or damage. Somewhere in between, thank you.

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Yes.

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Yes.

13. Love or money?
Verb?

14. Credit cards or cash?
Verb?

15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
Yes.

16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
If the camping/hotel itself were the purpose of the trip? --Camping.
If I were doing other things while there? --Depends on what else I'd be doing, and how long the trip would be.

17. What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
What do you consider weird?

18. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
Easy.

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No.

20. Ever been to a bar?
Yes. I've even gotten into an R-rated movie without my Mommy, too.

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
No.

22. Ever been so drunk you had to be carried out of somewhere?
No.

23. Kissed someone of the same sex?
Yes.

24. Favorite drink?
Water.

25. Had sex in a movie theater?
I've worked in a movie theater and seen the filth with the lights turned up...
I'd rather have sex in a petri dish.

26. Had sex in a bathroom?
Yes.

27. Have you ever had sex at work?
No.

28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Yes.

29. Bought something from an adult store?
Yes.

30. Have you been caught having sex?
No.

31. Does anyone have naughty pics of you?
No.

32. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
No.

33. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Guts ain't the same as interest. That said...
Who wouldn't have the guts?

Only so many fingers...

...to cross.

This job I've been working is beyond wonderful in almost every possible way (except one... see below). Far and away the very best job I've ever had. None of the others are even in the same league of career-goodness.

The only way it could be better would be if I were a permanent employee with the company. Currently I'm in an intern position.

The department head just came to me and let me know that the company will be posting a permanent position within a month. The posting will be public.
- But he wants me to apply for it.

I'd have to say that's a good sign.

Here's hoping that any other applicants get afflicted with Tourette's Syndrome on their way to the interview...

Charlie Sneak

Funny, sometimes, the internal associations that can make something turn real (or not).

Marking the final 1/6 of the year's weekends as "busy" on the calendar? - Meh.
Rehearsals for specific shows? - Nah.
Workshops? - Uh-uh.
Pulling the costume out of the closet? - Not really.
Seeing construction, setup, and everyone running around in costume for dress rehearsal? - Nope.

Crates on Mad Sal's stage.
Rory gliding by on roller skates.

And suddenly.

Brain blinks, snorffles, looks again, hey...
Dickens and Christmas are here.

Another reason Starbucks is De Debbil

Mental note: No more caramel apple ciders before singing.
Voice crawls in a hole and hides for hours. Won't come out for nothin'.

Like playing trumpet with the mute inserted, but trying to get the sound out bold & brash.
Like one of those icky dreams where no matter what you do, you can't get enough breath, can't run fast enough, or can't be heard. Especially the being heard part.

The one drink Starbucks has that I actually like...
Tasty, but - meh, no more.