Just announced on our local news station:

As of November, 2007... there have been at least 60,000 reported cases of HIV since the early 80's.. and the average new cases reported each year is at least 4,500.. in the state of TEXAS alone.

That's just the number that have been tested and KnowN to have the virus.

Get tested people.

Make sure any potential partners are tested ... FIRST (before actually having sex).

One of the nurses who worked with B, Ashanti, had a lingerie & novelty party. A couple of the ladies there were talked into a "gag-gift" purchase for their Hubbies. Sandi (a newly-wed of only a couple of months + having children from previous marriages in the household) decided to buy the "men's thong with the elephant head front". She took it home to Steve & they both got a good laugh out of it... & set it aside.



I have to preface the rest of the story with the fact that Steve is tall, a bit of a spare tire around the middle & has a left eye that is permanently crossed and staring at the bridge of his nose. He's the one that will be talking to one person, but a different person in the group answers... so, he yells at the answering party,"Wrong Eye!" And the boy drives logging truck for a living.

So, Sandi gets the kids all tucked in & sound asleep and heads off to get herself ready for bed. Sandi, all ready for bed, steps out into the living room to catch some TV with Steve. She stops at the sight of Steve, naked, standing in front of the couch... bent over the coffee table with his a$$ in the air. She takes a couple of steps closer & notices a thong string where she has never seen one before. She quietly, somewhat nervously (& with a little giggle in her voice) asks, "What are you doing?"

He jumps up, spins around at break-neck speed and yells,"THERE'S A FLYIN' SQUIRREL LOOSE IN THE HOUSE!!!"

All she can do is start laughing hysterically, cause she can't even stop long enough to say,"...and you thought the new elephant head thong was proper attire for a squirrel hunt in the living room"...

Meanwhile, he's running from room to room chasing this furry, little ball of lightning up curtains & across counters. He stops and says to Sandi (we think, cause you never know exactly who he may be lookin' at... with which eye), "Gosh... if I catch that thing, I can't do it with my bare hands... it might bite me!" All while Sandi just looks on, laughing and gasping for air.

He disappears into the kitchen. A few seconds later he proudly steps back into the room announcing that he can now catch the squirrel...

He is now a man, chasing a squirrel, in an elephant-head thong... wearing matching lobster claw oven mitts!

Oh, you'd think that it would all end there, but... as fate would have it... there was still a little fuzzy friend loose in the house!

I'll shorten this by skipping ahead to the next hillarious part.

So, Steve catches up to his new little friend. He didn't count on the fact that this happy little guy has gotten used to Steve being in the same room. Steve gets it cornered, it jumps on his leg & starts headin' NORTH!!!

Sandi says that she is thankful that their chldren sleep through anything. Cause the sight of Dad dressed like that, jumpin' up and down flappin' his arms like a little bird...

screamin', "AAAAAAAAAAA.... AAAAAAA...(like a little girl) GET IT OFF ME... GET IT OFF ME!!!!!!!" ... would have scarred them for life!

I think I need to write a book... entitled "Mountain People I Have Known"...

ROFLMAO~ DoDi*