(selected from Swamiji.com)



I believe in God. I just don't trust anybody who works for him.

-------

If it seems like everything is coming at you, maybe you're in the wrong lane.

-------

Q: How many yogis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Into what?

-------

The enlightened ones have no boundaries, but respect those of others.

-------

If you believe in telekinesis, please raise my hand.

-------

Gypsy Rose Lee: "God is love, but get it in writing."

-------

Q: Why couldn't the Yogi vacuum his carpet?
A: He had lost his attachments.

-------

Bertrand Russell: "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important."

-------

A temple for atheists is a non-prophet organization.

-------

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

-------

Lily Tomlin: "Why is it when we talk to God, we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"

-------

George Carlin: "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two
institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."

-------

Woody Allen: "It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

-------

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.