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Dear Tater Face,

Hi. It's me. You know me. I guess I wanted to say that I am sorry I call you 'Trans Fatty' but I heard that Tater Tots are lethal. That's right, you heard me correctly: lethal. Now I'm not hatin on you or trying to step, I'm serious. I mean it as a term of endearment, a bit of pillow talk - if you will. I hope that one day you will grow to accept this.

With porkchops,

TM xxx

PS.
Kick Charley's ass for me.

Tater, you're just adorable.
Head butts and purrs.

Ain't nobody better mess with my girl Tate or they'll come face to face with a world of pain! Me and dis grrl go way back. Back when I had my Cuban cigar smuggling ring running in Florida, we'd hit the strip clubs a couple times a week. And damn if she didn't personally know every one of them dancers! But this grrl ain't no ho. She keeps it real and I'm proud to know her.