Friendship

So you think your man is cheating?

> So you think your man is cheating....
>> > A couple was invited to a masked costume Halloween party.
>>The wife
>> >got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party
>>alone.
>> >He,being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said
>>she was
>> >going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need
>>for his
>> >good time to be spoiled by not going. So he took his Batman
>>costume and
>> >away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour,
>>awakened
>> >without pain, and, as it was still early, decided to go to the
>>party. In as
>>
>> >much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she
>>thought she
>> >would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted
>>when she
>> >was not with him. She put on a Goldilocks costume. So she joined
>>the party
>> >and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor,
>>dancing
>> >with every nice chick he could cuddle with and copping a little
>>feel here
>> >and a
>> >little kiss there. His wife went up to him and being a rather
>>seductive
>> >babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted
>>his time to
>> >her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was
>>her
>> >husband.
>> >After some more to drink he finally whispered a little
>>proposition in her
>> >ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a
>>quickie
>> >in the back seat. Just before unmasking , she slipped away and
>>went home
>> >and put her costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of
>> >explanation he would make up for his outrageous behavior. She was
>>sitting
>> >up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he
>>had. "Oh, the
>>
>> >same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not
>>there."
>> >Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you,
>>I never
>> >even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown
>>and some
>> >other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all
>>evening."
>> >"You must have looked really silly wearing that Batman costume
>>playing
>> >poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm. To which the
>> >husband replied, "Actually, I gave my Batman costume to your Dad.
>> >Apparently he had a whale of a time. He told me he got lucky with
>>a hottie
>> >in a Goldilocks outfit"
>> >
>> >Moral of the story: Don't try to sneak up on your man!!!

Life

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

RENT FOR APARTMENT

RENT FOR APARTMENT A businessman meets a beautiful girl and agrees to
> spend the night
> with her for $500. So they do. Before he leaves, he tells her that
he
> does not have any cash with him, but he will have his secretary write
a
> check and mail it to her, calling the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."
On
> the way to the office he regrets what he has done, realizing that
the
> whole event was not worth the price. So he has his secretary send a
> check for $250 and enclosed the following typed note:
--------------------
> Dear Madam: Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $250 for
rent
> of your
> apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I
> rented the apartment, I was under the impression that:? 1) It had
never
> been occupied.
> 2) That there was plenty of heat.
> 3) That it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.
However, I
> found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't
> any heat, and that it was entirely too large. Upon receipt of the
note,
> the girl
> immediately returned the Check for $250 with the following
> note: --------------------
> Dear Sir,? First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a
beautiful
> apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.
> As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it
on.
> Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if
you
> don't have
> enough furniture to fill it, please don't blame the landlady.
> Send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present
> landlady.
>?

sex

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.?
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2. Gentle,? relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat? produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.
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3.? Lovemaking ? can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.?
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4.? Sex is one of the safest sports? you can take up. It stretches? and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!?
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5.?? Sex? is an instant cure for mild depression. ? It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria? and leaving you with a feeling of well-being. ?
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6.??? The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!???
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7.??? Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.????????????????
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8. Kissing? each day will keep the dentist away. ? Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid? that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.?
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9.???? Sex? actually relieves headaches. ? A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.??
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10.?? A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. ? Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.??
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This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex. The original? is in a room in the basement of the Dwight House Pub. It has been sent around the world nine times. Now sex has been sent to you. The "Hot? Sex Fairy" ? will visit you within four days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.

If you don't, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest? of your life. You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals? will rot and fall off. This is no joke! Send copies to people you think need sex (who doesn't?). Don't send money, as the fate of your genitals has no price.

Do not keep this message. This message must leave your? e-mail in 96 hours. Please send ten copies and see what happens in four days.?

Since the copy must tour the world, you must send it. This is true, even if you are not superstitious