i worked a really long saturday when i finally got home my husband was gone with the bean, helping his mom put new locks in hew new home. it sent me over the edge that night. it was the first time i've really had to miss her and be without her. i never knew i could love so deeply, and be so attached. i held her all evening and just cried. i wonder if i was loved even half as much as i love the bean.

got me thinking alot about my mother, who had six children and left us and my father behind... read more

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
i got pregnant, i became my own boss.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't make new year's resolutions.

3. Did someone close to you give birth?
yes a friend i've known fow 8 years had a son in july.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no deaths in the family and no friends.

5. What countries did you visit?
imaginationland.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that ... read more

health insurance is a joke. i'm paying in monthy bills to baby's arrival more than they are covering.
health care is a fucking joke. 1000 dollars for blood tests. (unneeded) more money on unnessacary
ultrasounds., even more on unwanted genetic screening. doctors assume you want everything.
babies aren't just for people who can afford every test you want to give them. i am too empowered
to be a passive patient. pregnancy is not a fucking disease it's a natural event.

that said.
i swi... read more

i had my first ultrasound where i could actually see my fetus. whats taking place inside of me has definately sunk in. at 12 weeks it looks like a baby. it even moves and slides and reacts to my movement. i was feeling very emotional seeing my baby for the first time. my "morning sickness" is almost gone except for a dizzy spell yesterday and i'm starting to enjoy being pregnant and the amazing changes. my breats an\re now labeled the "beasts" they are huge and full and fucking heavy!!! i am... read more