Whoa! I just got back from what I thought was going to be a vacation but turned out to be a major spiritual transformation.

Had 2 of my days meant for the retreat (in Mexico) tied up in American airports... had my luggage lost and didn't get it back for the whole trip... lost my 3 rings ... had 2 miraculously find their way back to me a day or two later... borrowed people's clothes and (mainstream-which I never use) body products ... made it home healthy, happy and transformed.

Major melting of the ego? Oh yes!!! Unending opportunities for thriving over surviving? Yes! Regrets? None.

Still integrating the lessons of letting go, trusting and keeping it positive yet real.

Truly blessed am I for the lessons I've received.

I embrace...
Light
Darkness
Effervescent splotches of grease on a console

I want it back
My innocence
My youth
My stain free console

Life is passing by... faster by the second

I want off a ride I don't remember getting on
I try to stop it as I push it faster
The world of duality entices me into her inner reaches

How to get off something you never got on?
How to sell something you never bought?
How to tell lies about things you never thought?

My brain is scrambled like eggs at a greasy diner.
What's up with all the grease in this world anyway?

And what's the point? Where do I fit in?
What happens if I don't run while the wheel keeps spinning?

Up and over... life lies
In the valley between everything and nothing.

I seek the sacred third
That which comes from heart knowing.

I seek and I strive, busting through walls
With this yang physicality I know I am real
With my yin perception, I know I will heal

Shamans reveal me
Ancestors heal me
As addictions conceal me
I hide in a tube of toothpaste squeezed from the top end

This life ride of responsibilities is feeling listless and lackluster.

But the clittety clack of the keyboard is enough for today.

click... clack... satisfaction in sound.

Grace saves me once again
Where the details abound.

and you can go fuck yourself for your judgements, criticisms, expectations, arrogance, lack of integrity and inauthenticity.

Just gotta get that shit out sometimes ... now I can carry on being my friendly, optimistic (though occasionally mouthy) self.

Crusader for the shadow,

Meridian

As I was pondering aloud what I want to be when I grow up, it came to my attention that according to mainstream society, I'm already grown up and am now considered an ADULT. This in and of itself is not a problem except that this so-called mainstream society also seems to have dictated what one should be doing as an aforementioned ADULT.

Unfortunately, I seem to have lost the manual and I'm not exactly sure what living as an ADULT entails. As a matter of fact, I think I must have lost the whole darned box of manuals for it seems I haven't a clue about fitting into mainstream society. It's also come to my attention that I lack both the know-how and desire to perform many of it's all-important tasks.

Therefore, in my efforts to be a good, all American GROWN-UP, I'm requesting copies of any manuals I might need to order to effectively become a cog in the wheel of this great nation.

(Oh, and if you're going to send a paper manual, please be sure it's on double-sided recycled hemp paper printed with organic inks harvested sustainably by people earning a fair wage.)

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.