1. "I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer." (OK in Texas.)

2. "Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in."

3. "Aren't you that guy from the Village People?"

4. "Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 m.p.h. to keep up with me. Good job!"

5. "Are You Andy or Barney?"

6. "I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be police officer."

Did You Know...



If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)


If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)



The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(O.M.G.!)



A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.


(In my ne... read more