Another shaving milestone!

My Dad told me how to shave with a hand razor and shave cream, decades ago. Countless cans of cream and tons of tubes of shaving soap later, I've found that a razor is really all that's necessary.

Now, I simply shave right after showering. No lather obscures my aim, and no rinsing is necessary, since the whiskers are dry enough to fall like chopped wood, instead of clogging up the blade. The shave is smooth and nonirritating, more accurate, and takes about half the time.

This is undoubtedly one of the most significant personal discoveries I've made since realizing I could avoid removing my pajamas everyday, merely by putting my school clothes on over them. (Saved a lot of time for me until Mrs. Tandy told my Mom.)

If you don't believe me, please, stroke my face.

lessons learned

Last final for the semester was this morning. Important things I have figured out how to do or do better:

1. listen in on conversations in other rooms
2. telepathically contact friends in Missouri, Kansas and some of the Phillipines
3. become visually opaque
4. eat food at arm's length
5. write haiku of up to 130 syllables
6. find and keep coins dropped by others
7. make farts sound like a woodpecker or whippoorwill

New Life

Dear Diary,
It's been so long since I wrote you last. In case you haven't noticed, I shaved my beard, then went back to school.
How do those Middle East dudes do it? After a couple weeks of beard growth, it felt stuck on my face--it itched, jabbed me, got tangled in my fork. I had the chance to look like Vito Morgenstein, and I turned it down.
But I like school.
See ya in study hall!

Faith

"Faith--with it, you have the power of all the oceans and stars in your hands. Without it, everyone you meet is a sinner, and everywhere you go is hell." --the movie Leap of Faith

Mission?

All that went before, I didn't mean that, I was like George Bush on the aircraft carrier, announcing the war was over.
More shock 'n awe to come...by the way, I quit shaving.