My personal God and Goddess embody their dark faces.
Somehow this must be perfect for the development of
the Self, the Divine face. This is the mystery which I
embrace; I hold that all experience is perfect to the
evolution of heart centered existence. If I continue
to hold the dark God and Goddess as separate from
myself, then I also reject their light, nurturing,
active elements within myself. The process of
recognizing and owning their dark faces within my own
psyche is slow and painful. I see only their
destructive power in my life. This is the reason I
rejected their image in my biological parents in the
first place. Although they provided a good hook for
the projection, what was hidden in my shadow was their
presence in my own psyche. Since I first recognized
the dark God and Goddess in them, I believed that they
WERE dark God and Goddess and also believed it was my
own inadequacies which caused their light faces to be
forever inaccessible to me. I didn’t realize that in
projecting both light and dark outside of myself, I
was left impotent to effect any action in my life.

As I embrace my desire to re-dream my old reality, as
I connect to my sexual being and creativity, I meet
their dark, destructive faces in my thoughts and
actions towards myself and others. I must not reject
them, but only watch them painfully. I notice how
much power and energy they hold over me; the power I
crave to effect change in my life is held in their
wounded hearts. I watch the destructive, castrating,
manipulative, devouring feminine respond to imagined,
habitually anticipated slights with bitterness and
vengefulness. I watch the cruel, cold, heartless
masculine who debases the feeling function, who brutalizes
anything soft and vulnerable. As I watch myself want
to retreat into these habitual, previously unconscious
patterns of relating, I am saddened and hopeful. As I
go to close my heart in bitterness and heartlessness,
I open it tentatively to the healing Love of the
Divine Feminine. I allow fresh oxygen, blood and
nutrients to bathe my wounded heart. I'm not yet
saying Yes to love. And the difference is now I'm not
saying No. I allow the heart to relax it’s fearful
contraction against imagined outcomes. I surrender to
the new dream. I surrender the darkness to the light.