Lion's Share

Bastille Days

Traci — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 15:10:29 GMT

Last day of Bastille Days. Trillium will be performing on the Air Tran Stage (formerly Kilbourn West Stage) at 2:00, 3:45, 6:15, and 7:45. We'll probably be roving the grounds with Zephyranthes (Jen's Studio Troupe) throughout the day. Come see us, it's a fun festival! http://www. easttown. com/info/Bastille%20Days/bdindex

Ack! Mercury still in retrograde!

Traci — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:08:20 GMT

I thought today was the day Merc went back direct....silly me! I was 10 days off! http://www.astrologycom.com/mercret.html

What the hell is wrong with people? (again)

Traci — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 17:32:27 GMT

My son and his friends are sad this morning..... Some of the equipment at the Hartland North Elementary School playground was destroyed in a fire over the weekend. HARTLAND - Some of the equipment at the Hartland North Elementary School playground was destroyed in a fire late Saturday night. The police department is investigating what appears to be a case of arson. In an email to parents, North Elementary principal Pat Thome said the equipment is insured and will be replaced over the summer. Thome wrote, "It's a very sad sight, and I will take time in the morning to use this as a teachable moment with students. "The charred remains will be a reminder to kids every day of what can happen when bad choices are made. "Tomorrow I will stress that you can make two choices when something like this happens: you can feel sorry for yourself or you can learn a lesson and move forward in a positive manner, which is what we'll do." There are still some undamaged sections of the playground including the monkey bars, swings and sandbox.

Poor little robin

Traci — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 03:55:06 GMT

Logan saved this little guy today. He and some friends were playing and heard a noise under the big pine tree in front of our apartment. He ducked in and found him hanging from a bleeding broken leg. At first he thought a small branched had impaled him, but we found a long length of string (possibly kite string) tangled around his little leg. We broke off the branch and took him to Wildlife In Need and they are taking care of him. Lucky coincidence that Wildlife In Need visited Logan's school yesterday with rescued animals and he remembered them.

No Chicken Ass!

Traci — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 01:58:00 GMT

POSTURE! POSTURE! POSTURE!

Happy Freakin' Spring! =-{

Traci — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 18:28:43 GMT

This sucks. So did my hour and a half drive to work (15 miles on the freeway) with people spinning out in front of me and getting to work only to have 3 of my 5 massages cancel. I have decided I am not driving in dangerous conditions anymore. How nice must a massage feel when my ass is still clenched and my fingers are cramped from white-knucking the steering wheel?! At least it is supposed to taper off by midnight. Blech. It's cocktail time!

Merry Ostara!

Traci — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 16:37:41 GMT

Happy thoughts of Spring! "Peep Show"

Dear Diary,

Traci — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 17:20:40 GMT

Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Wisconsin . It is so beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change in the seasons. This is truly God's Country. Oct. 14 - Wisconsin is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the real special places on Earth. The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are so graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth. This must be paradise. Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of peace and tranquility here in Wisconsin . I hope it snows soon. I love it here! Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must have gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I love it here! Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here! Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow! Dec. 21 - More of that white shit com ing down. I've got blisters on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. Asshole. Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my hands on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate him. And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this crap?? Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been inside since then, except of course when that SOB 'Snowplow Harry' comes by. Can't go anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is?? Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's com ing down it won't melt until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the shithead actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told him I'd broken 6 already this season. Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to get some food and a goddamn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the bastard. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me. Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old piece of shit into fireplace wood when I had the chance. May 23 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up, heap of rusted cow shit. May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to Georgia . I can't imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the God forsaken State of Wisconsin.

Trillium is Spreading the ATS love to Waukesha County and Lake Country!

Traci — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 05:34:08 GMT

CHIROPRACTIC AND WELLNESS on Pewaukee Lake Presents AMERICAN TRIBAL STYLE BELLY DANCE with MARIE KAPLAN and TRACI ROBERTS of TRILLIUM TribalBellyDance Learn the beauty that is American Tribal Style Belly Dance (ATS)! Using both slow movements and fast steps, we’ll get you dancing in your first class! Follow the format and work progressively, or just drop in. If you miss the beginning of the current course, you are still welcome to drop in. There is plenty of review in each class. Our classes are for women only. Please, no children at class. 6-Week Session $90 drop-in for $18/class. Free Demo and Shimmy Lesson 7:00pm February 20th Classes begin 7:00pm February 27th (262) 424-7972 or (262) 389-1492 Demo and Classes will be held at: Chiropractic and Wellness on Pewaukee Lake 213 W. Wisconsin Ave Pewaukee, WI 53072 ~~ (262) 695-0022 ****Trillium Studio Class cards not valid for these classes****

Today's Horoscope...not the nice one =-} hehehe

Traci — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 05:11:36 GMT

Aquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) - You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk. Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) - You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick. Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) - You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit. Taurus (April 23 - May 22) - You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a fucking communist. Gemini (May 23 - June 22) - You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest. Cancer (June 23 - July 22) - You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer. Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) - You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex. Leos enjoy fucking small animals and kiss mirrors alot. Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22) - You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps. Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) - You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nill. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease. Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) - You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch.Most Scorpios are murderers. Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) - You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of shit. Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) - You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.

Most Embarrassing Moments

Traci — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 05:07:37 GMT

Ok, I realize it must appear that I am wasting too much time lately, but in reality, I have been more focused and have been accomplishing more than I have in months! My friend sent me an email that describes embarrassing moments. It made me think of two of mine. Feel free to share yours! Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back.. or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the Testimonials of a few unknown people who did.... FIRST TESTIMONY (unknown): I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, 'How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?' I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. SECOND TESTIMONY (unknown): I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, 'I think I like playing with mens balls' THIRD TESTIMONY (unknown): My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, 'No, I'm just looking at your nuts.' My sister started to laugh hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. FOURTH TESTIMONY (unknown) : While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving 'right now' she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, 'If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!' The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter. FIFTH TESTIMONY (unknown): Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while. I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No' .. I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.' Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?' 'No,' he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!' While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had! LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY (unknown): This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any! We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: 'So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard! ******** Mine: #1 My hubby, Matt and I met his aunt and uncle for a beer after work one night when we lived in St. Louis. They don't have Miller or Coors there. Only Budweiser/Busch products, which usually give me a headache. The only one that I could stand was Busch Light, so I ordered a bottle. So did Matt's aunt and uncle. Then Matt ordered a Jack and Coke and I thought that sounded better than the beer. I looked up at the waitress and said, "Scratch my Busch, I'll have a Jack and Coke, too!". Matt almost fell out of his chair he was laughing so hard! #2 In college, my friend and I used to meet a couple of guys in our dorm for dinner and go to the commons together. One evening, we arrived at their room to meet for dinner after the guys had just showered following a workout. Jeff, who I had an incredible crush on, answered the door in a pair of grey cotton shorts, wet hair, still a little wet from the shower. While my friend, Cindy talked to him, I practically undressed him with my eyes....I may have actually been drooling....finally, I looked up at his head level, and he was looking right into my eyes and smirking! I may as well have been touching myself-I was so embarrassed to have been caught!

Wasting Time...

Traci — Sat, 05 Jan 2008 04:42:22 GMT

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? my dad's sister (died of spina bifida) 2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? a few minutes ago. 3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? not unless I write slowly. 4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? tuna 5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? yes 6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? yes, I'm fabulously likeable (and humble, too!) 7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? who, me? 8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS ? yes 9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? NJN BFN (that would be noooooooo!) 10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? hot-Cream of Wheat...cold-Mini Wheats 11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? yes, except my sneakers 12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? yes 13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? yes. ok, how 'bout Chunky Monkey! 14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? eyes 15. RED OR PINK? Red 17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? any and all family and good friends that aren't near me on a regular basis. 18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? ok 19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? black pants, no shoes. 20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? pizza 21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? 80's hair metal mix 22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? orange 23. FAVORITE SMELLS? coffee, incense, a clean house 24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my neighbor 25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS? very much. 26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Belly Dancing (dancing's a sport, right?) & Ice Skating 27. HAIR COLOR? Dull Blonde with lots of highlights 28. EYE COLOR? green/grey/blue....depends on how the light hits them 29. Do you wear contacts? yes 30. FAVORITE FOOD? I LOVE FOOD! ok, fine..roasted veggies w/balsamic and rice (ask me again and you'll get another answer) 31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings!! 32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Practical Magic 33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? black (is there really any other color?) 34. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer! 35. HUGS OR KISSES? Can't I have both? 36. FAVORITE DESSERT? sheesh! why do I have to have favorite foods? Can't I just love them all?.......ok, Warm Chocolate Pudding 37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? does it matter? 38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? everyone 39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? "M" is for Malice; Lady of Avalon; Cakes and Ale for the Pagan Soul; Sacred Circle Tarot; The Original Illustrated Sherlock Holmes (from the Strand Magazine); Adult Children-The Secrets of Disfunctional Families; The Language of Letting Go-Daily Meditations for Co-Dependents; The Sea Priestess; The Hobbit (always fun to re-read the whole series). Yes, I'm reading them ALL at once...I keep them in my bag, the car, in my studio, next to the tub, in the potty, next to my bed, etc. Never like to be without a book! 40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? my right index finger (laptop) 41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? CSI & video-Sunset Boulevard (1950-Gloria Swanson & William Holden) 42. FAVORITE SOUND? My son's laughter 43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? I like them both a lot, and I would probably choose Beatles for nostalgic reasons, but frankly, I would like more choices. 44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Grand Cayman 45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Massage, Belly Dancing 46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Wichita, Kansas 47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? any who answer. 48. WHAT TIME IS IT NOW? 10:02 p.m.

2007 in 5 Sentences (Shamelessly stolen from Zareen-Thanks!!)

Traci — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 04:01:56 GMT

What happened/impacted your life in 2007 (in 5 sentences)? What do you want to accomplish in 2008 (also in 5 sentences)? FOR ME, NOT ORDER OF IMPORTANCE...MOSTLY IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER 2007: 1) Had an adventure-Spent a week with my best girlfriend in San Francisco where I earned my FatChanceBellyDance General Skills Intensive Certification! 2) Became Self-Employed and began to learn the ups, downs, ins and outs of managing myself (Woohoo!.....and.....Arrrggghhh!) 3) Lived through the horrible, parents' nightmare (and now the flashbacks) of my son's terrible fracture and subsequent surgeries and rehab. I pray I never have to see my son in such pain and facing such horrible odds again...ever! 4) Made a huge decision about our finances and are working at getting out of debt. 5) Worked with my troupe to put on Tribal:Pura Milwaukee. A wonderful workshop and show. 2008: 1) Since physically, I am not in control, I am sending lots of positive healing energies to my Dad, and prayers that he is willing to accept the help he needs. 2) Better time management and less procrastination...really. 3) More time for my family. 4) Better housekeeping 5) Save for a family vacation. I'd love for us to take Logan to a big amusement park or something.

Subject: How to Wrap a Gift (With a Cat)

Traci — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 01:40:32 GMT

39 Steps, and even then success is never guaranteed! 1. Clear large space on table for wrapping present. 2. Go to wardrobe and collect bag in which present is contained, and close door. 3. Open door and remove cat from wardrobe. 4. Go to cupboard and retrieve rolls of wrapping paper. 5. Go back and remove cat from cupboard. 6. Go to drawer and collect transparent sticky tape, ribbons, scissors, labels, etc. 7. Lay out present and wrapping materials on table, to enable wrapping strategy to be formed. 8. Go back to drawer to get string, remove cat that has been in the drawer since last visit, and collect string. 9. Remove present from bag. 10. Remove cat from bag. 11. Open box to check present, remove cat from box, replace present. 12. Lay out paper to enable cutting to size. 13. Cut the paper to size, trying to keep the cutting line straight. 14. Throw away first sheet because cat tried to chase the scissors and tore the paper. 15. Cut second sheet of paper to size by putting cat in the bag the present came out of. 16. Place present on cut-to-size paper. 17. Lift up edges of paper to seal in present, wonder why edges now don’t reach, and find cat between present and paper. Remove cat and retry. 18. Place object on paper, to hold in place, while cutting transparent sticky tape. 19. Spend next 20 minutes carefully trying to remove transparent sticky tape from cat with pair of nail scissors. 20. Seal paper down with transparent sticky tape, making corners as neat as possible. 21. Look for roll of ribbon; chase cat down hall and retrieve ribbon. 22. Try to wrap present with ribbon in a two-directional turn. 23. Re-roll up ribbon and remove paper that is now torn, due to cat’s enthusiasm in chasing ribbon end. 24. Repeat steps 12-22 until down to last sheet of paper. 25. Decide to skip steps 12-16 in order to save time and reduce risk of losing last sheet of paper. Retrieve old cardboard box that you know is right size for sheet of paper. 26. Put present in box, and tie down with string. 27. Remove string, open box and remove cat. 28. Put all packing materials in bag with present and head for lockable room. 29. Once inside room, lock door and start to re-lay out packing materials. 30. Remove cat from box, unlock door, put cat outside door, close door and re-lock. 31. Lay out last sheet of paper. (Admittedly this is difficult in the small area of the toilet, but try your best!) 32. Seal box, wrap with paper and start repairs by very carefully sealing down tears with transparent sticky tape. Now tie up with ribbon and decorate with bows to hide worst affected areas. 33. Label, then sit back and admire your handiwork, congratulating yourself on making good of a bad job. 34. Unlock door, and go to kitchen to make drink and feed cat. 35. Spend next 15 minutes looking for cat, before coming to obvious conclusion. 36. Unwrap present, untie box and remove cat. 37. Retrieve all discarded sheets of wrapping paper, feed cat and retire to lockable room for last attempt, making certain you are alone and the door is locked. 38. At time of handing over present, smile sweetly at receiver’s face, as they try and hide their contempt at being handed such a badly wrapped present. 39. Swear to yourself that next year, you will get the store to wrap the darn thing for you.

WTF is wrong with people?

Traci — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 04:02:30 GMT

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5hyEHdKMeAipyZ10L1cAmHRn3uwbQ

Bravest boy ever

Traci — Tue, 25 Sep 2007 15:51:49 GMT

Logan is having surgery today (right now) to repair his brachial artery. For those who don't know, he fell 8 ft while climbing in the rafters of a gazebo 7.5 weeks ago. He sustained an open fracture of his left humerus with damage to his median nerve and brachial artery. He had emergency surgery that night and his biggest concern was that his friends were going to have nightmares from seeing his bone sticking out of his arm. I'm surprised I haven't had nightmares from that and the little voice in my head that won't go away saying, "Momma, it hurts so much!". I won't post the pictures here, but will save them for him to see someday if he wishes...when he is older. It is interesting from a clinical point of view, but not when it is my baby. When you aren't quite 10 years old, it is hard to think of the consequences of just being a boy. For the last (nearly) 2 months, he has felt like he's being punished because his activities are so limited. No running, climbing, skating, biking...etc... He pretty much has to just do calm things. He is in such good spirits today (as always), joking with the doctors and nurses and techs. Seems everyone knows him; they've all been waiting to meet him because it is such an interesting case. Again....this would be cooler if it weren't my baby. The most frustrating thought to Logan is that his arm will be somewhat immobile for a little while and he wants to be able to move it freely. Goddess Bless my little bubby!

"C" is for Cookie

Traci — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 12:44:39 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BovQyphS8kA Just because. =-D

Today Logan is a hero!

Traci — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 03:26:36 GMT

When my hubby picked Logan up at camp today, a counselor approached him and said he wanted to let Matt know what Logan had done today. Matt was a little concerned that Logan may have been naughty, but instead learned that during their trip to the waterpark today, Logan saved a 4 year old boy's life! Logan (who I'm convinced is part fish...or Merman!) He was walking around the pool and noticed some little hands waving in the water and heard a scream. He jumped in the water, pulled the little boy to where he could get him out of the water and got him out to the deck. The mom and lifeguards ran over and hugged and thanked him with relief. We are so proud that he is always ready to help; today it sure paid off! He is the BEST BOY EVER!!

Beautiful Poem to Share

Traci — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 18:02:55 GMT

Blessed is this pain I feel, for now I might know real happiness. Blessed is this sorrow which weighs my heart, for now I might know joy. Welcome is this cold touch of death, for now I might truly begin to live. Welcome are the momories, both painful and not, for now these create belief. Belief becomes truth. Truth becomes reality. Therefore, pain becomes happiness. Sorrow becomes joy. Death becomes life. Memory becomes reality. In my will, I find my way. Blessed be the way. Blessed be the will. Tzujan 02August, 2003 Used with permission from the author. Written while I was sharing some feelings and memories and lighting a candle in honor of my "Poppy", Chet Shellenberger who died 01August, 2003..../Traci Roberts

Fabulous New Words & Definitions

Traci — Thu, 17 May 2007 14:07:11 GMT

Here are the winners of the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. The 2006 winners are: 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time. 2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole. 3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with. 4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future. 6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. 7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. 8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. 9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. 10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. 11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) 12. Karmageddon: It's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes and it's a serious bummer. 13. Decafalon: (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. 14. Glibido: All talk and no action. 15. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. 16. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. 17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. 18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are: 1. Coffee, (n.) the person upon whom one coughs. 2. Flabbergasted, (adj.) appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained. 3. Abdicate, (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. 4. Esplanade, (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk. 5. Willy-Nilly, (adj.) impotent. 6. Negligent, (adj.) absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown. 7. Lymph, (v.) to walk with a lisp. 8. Gargoyle, (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash. 9. Flatulence, (n.) emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller. 10. Balderdash, (n.) a rapidly receding hairline. 11. Testicle, (n.) a humorous question on an exam. 12. Rectitude, (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists. 13. Pokemon, (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist. 14. Oyster, (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms. 15. Frisbeetarianism, (n.) the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there. 16. Circumvent, (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish Men,

Your new name....

Traci — Mon, 23 Apr 2007 02:24:37 GMT

My 9yr old, Logan, LOVES Captain Underpants books, so I am blogging this in his honor! Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, YOU NEED SOME SILLYNESS to break up the day. If we are HONEST, we HAVE a LOT MORE STRESSFUL DAYS than not. Here is your DOSE of HUMOR... Follow the instructions to find your NEW NAME. A senior manager is now known far and wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer! ***The following is excerpted from a children's book titled, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants, By Dave Pilkey. In which the Evil Professor forces everyone to assume NEW NAMES... SO:-................................! 1. Use the THIRD Letter of your FIRST Name to determine your NEW FIRST NAME: A = snickle B = doombah C = goober D = cheesey E = crusty F = greasy G = dumbo H = farcus I = dorky J = doofus K = funky L = boobie M = sleezy N = sloopy O = fluffy P = stinky Q = slimy R = dorfus S = snooty T = tootsie U = dipsy V = sneezy W = liver X = skippy Y = dinky Z = zippy NEXT 2. Use the SECOND Letter of your LAST Name to determine the FIRST HALF of your, NEW LAST NAME: A = dippin B = feather C = batty D = burger E = chicken F = barffy G = lizard H = waffle I = farkle J = monkey K = flippin L = fricken M = bubble N = rhino O = potty P = hamster Q = buckle R = gizzard S = lickin T = snickle U = chuckle V = pickle W = Hubble X = dingle Y = gorilla Z = girdle THEN... 3. Use the THIRD Letter of your LAST Name to determine the SECOND HALF of your NEW LAST NAME: A = butt B = boob C = face D = nose E = hump F = breath G = pants H = shorts I = lips J = honker K = head L = tush M = chunks N = dunkin O = brains P = biscuits Q = toes R = doodle S = fanny T = sniffer U = sprinkles V = frack W = squirt X = humperdinck Y = hiney Z = juice Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name IS: FLUFFY Chucklefanny. and mine is Snickle Pottyboob!

Crack Pots.....er.... cracked pots

Traci — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 05:02:56 GMT

My mom sent me the following today: An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak all the way back to your house." The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?" "It's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the ! ;path, a nd every day while we walk back, you water them." "For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house." Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

Craft Wise Tribe

Traci — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 03:40:13 GMT

Marie and I have created a new tribe to showcase our unique costuming pieces and accessories! We will also occasionally have items that are just special finds! We hope you'll visit...join if you like! We are happy to take custom orders! http://tribes.tribe.net/craftwise

Respect the Elements

Traci — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 04:26:44 GMT

I should know better. I DO know better. But today, I let a busy morning cause me to forget to respect my element. At 9:53a.m., my client was telling me about her well water quality and I shared a story of a friend whose water for a time smelled like rotten eggs. It was then that I remembered that at 7:40a.m. I had put eggs on to boil and that the (gas) stove was most definitely STILL BURNING! My parasympathetic nervous system took over and my client insisted that I interrupt the massage and call someone. I was so fortunate that my mom was home and able to be there within 10 minutes. The apartment was full of black smoke and the eggs had disintegrated! I'm sure that I must have been minutes away from a fire! There is stinkiness, but thankfully, no smoke damage. Freyja and Gypsy are thankfully healthy and not wheezing! They apparently hid in a smoke-free room! What if my mom had left for Wichita this morning instead of tomorrow as planned? What if Gerda had not been in a talkative mood? Usually when getting a massage, she is quiet, and therefore, so am I. What if my friend hadn't had stinky water for a while? So many "what ifs". We have renters insurance, so I wouldn't worry about the physical things, but we don't have "lose all your memories" insurance....and we certainly don't have "try to forgive yourself after letting harm come to the sweet, dependant kitties you love" insurance!!!!! I'm not blogging to get sympathy ( you can find that between shit and syphilis in the dictionary); I'm blogging in hopes that through reading or sharing my story, someone will save their home from a fire. One client today suggested that I set a timer when cooking in the morning since it is not something I do often. I believe I'll take that suggestion. Blessings, Tra

Tagged by Kelly!...7 things about me

Traci — Fri, 16 Jun 2006 01:37:14 GMT

* My legal name is Mary Theresa; my mom had no say in what to name me...but insisted on "Traci" rather than "Terri" for my nick name. With a maiden name like Shellenberger, it was difficult to fit it across the top of school papers! * I have moved 33 times in my (nearly) 42 years....perhaps I was a real Gypsy in another life. * I have never been on a ferris wheel....too scary! *I dream of having a bed and breakfast with a dance studio, dojo, tea room and massage studio...and very few things would make me happier than being home when my son got home from school. *I was once a cocktail bimbo (term of endearment) at a heavy metal dance club in So Cal. Sometimes I sold shots w/a holster that held shot glasses and two bottles of kamikazee on my hips...and shimmied to mix/sell them! *Not being in control (of my life) frightens me. *I think a bubble bath can cure almost anything. Tagging...Jen, Jenn, Sabrina