whaga whaga



meh.



blarg.



that is my content for the day...



yes..in my opinion these words still say more than most twitterings... :D



I had forgotten to realize that wow.. i am throwing things out of balance again with the move to the elementals...whee. Anyway..I just realized that I did the Air working last night.. Air..Yesod..FUCK.. I HATED HATED HATED YESOD! I hated it then..and i think i will hate it now!

/me sighs tiredly.



Between moving , netzach, dominus liminus, a gf, and the holidays..I've just been so fucking busy that I barely touch the internetz when not at work. I miss my occasional lazy evenings chatting and drinking tea , laptop on knee, velvet comforter cuddled up around me... *Sigh*



I had my Air Ritual Last night for D.L. at a place around the De Young Museum. More giant tasks to fulfill within the month...more intensity. I think to myself..if i can manage to complete all these quests within the month..there will be no doubt in my mind that i am ready for D.L...cause damn my elements are harsh! I think they all think they are the center of the universe. ; )



I realize i still haven't updated on Water and now I have to update on Air. Hoping to do at least one if not two today at lunch break. Also had the first meeting to prep the sacred play ritual for Pantheacon next year. It was a very informative meeting and lots of good brainstorming happened. Only half of last year's AW group and a bunch new people..but it's a good group..I am glad we are doing it.



I have realized in order to finish my D.L. initiation (new moon January) preparation I am having to declare myself on official hermitage for the rest of December. I simply have too much to do magickally to be social at all.. the move, the annual solstice ritual my friends and I do, and family stuff for the holidays..will take all the time I have.



I had this epiphany about priorities last month..ran through this little exercise that looked at my life as if i was stranger and made a list of the priorities of the person..and discovered i was valuing community more than experimenting on magick. I have corrected that. I am pulling back from some of my community magickal activities in order to focus on my personal Great Work for the next month...so that I can be more clear about exactly where and how i want to focus my magickal Will on community stuff when I return from initiation in January. I have desires when it comes to taking both local and non-local magickal stuff to the next level..but i feel i need to do some housekeeping in my life before I am fully ready for that. My energy that direction has been scattered because i haven't been completely clear with my aims.



anyway..there is a method to my madness. I had some remaining aspects of Netzach that needed resolution. Rituals were designed and accomplished to resolve them. I stlll have a few remaining tendrils to tie up for my netzach working, but my primary focus is on the equilibration of the elements in the Maltese Cross.



I am officially in Hermitage for the next month. Will try to keep updates happening on LJ.

So..a number of friends of mine have recently been having nightmares..a combination of entity types of nightmares and regular play with one's fears types of nightmares. It could be coincidence or could be something local or could not be...



just wanted to see if out in the internetz...anyone else was seeing or experiencing something similar

Boo.



I'm not dead ..just all of my energy, free time, etc is going towards moving and this life simplification process otherwise known as get rid of shit! I am spending almost no time on the computer when not at work..so am falling very behind on all computer-based projects. Looking forward to being moved and taking time to catch up though I fear it won't be till January till I am all caught up on the internetz. For now i am giving up on my quest to try and map the crazy any other way than through the cool vid pharminatrix sent. I had a process..it was good...



Still working Green Tara current as I begin to wind down my Netzach working. Directed Non-Attached Will seems to be the name of the game for this final stage.



"For pure will, unassuaged of purpose, delivered from the lust of result, is every way perfect." --AL I:44



I have been contemplating pure will/pure intention a lot.. and exploring Voluntarism

"Fichte is the first to conceive of will or deed-action (Thathandlung) as the ultimate and incomprehensible source of all being. He is followed by Schelling, who says that will is Ursein: there is no other being than it, and of it alone are predicable the attributes usually predicated of God. "



Reflecting on the fruits of Netzach:

1) Increased consideration for others - ex: asking myself how my actions will affect others

2) Increased endurance for the accomplishment of my will -ex: burning man

3) Better relationship boundaries ex: ceasing active involvement in relationships that are toxic to me.

4) Seeing the world as an artist ex: being caught by the textures, colors, sounds, and shapes of the world around me.

5) Living in the present - decrease in stress, focus on expressing my will in the moment - ex: i think that is visible everywhere.

6) A better living/home situation - yay catcave

7) A serious relationship with an amazing woman. yay whimsywanderer



What I was missing until recently was non-attachment as it relates to the Great Work through Green Tara, and the gathering of power through the expression of wild and untamed passions to fan the fire of Will through Gwyn Ap Nudd and the need to invite one's shadow into oneself and nurture it. I received a raven feather placed at my car last week. This I take to be an excellent sign in regards to my work with the ravens of dispersion as well as a caution to continue to focus and constrict my energies not defocus and disperse them.



Now Onward Ho. Last night, the D.L. phase of my Work was inaugurated through the reception of the Water Quest which I will write about later as it deserves a different post. The ritual took place at Sutro Baths which I felt was perfect. For the next month I will be undergoing four elemental quests that will form the basis of equilibrating and proving my successful passing of the elemental sephira. So yes..I will be quite quite busy between now and January when I take my chaote version of D.L.



So Mote It Be.

Random -



the word aurichalcum was spoken by my gf last night. Shortly after I told her that I needed to know more details about what things are a happenin' alchemically with my copper in the long run cause getting rid of the silt wouldn't take forever.. she doesn't know much about alchemy but had heard the word before. Didn't know it related to copper..didn't know my working related to copper.



Orichalium. (33). Yellow copper ore,mountain brass; or white copper, an alloy of Cu and As.



Looks like i have more research to do. Not sure if this was a mystic sign or just a freak occurrence but i figure the least i can do is research it and see if it is appropriate. Now this is interesting because i think..maybe its my green and orange..but then there is the issue that it actually also appears to represent the "red-gold room" being gold-copper and copper in its metallic form is red. Then I discovered that zinc is another metal for Mercury (or perhaps uranus?)..this makes perfect since if i used the aurachalcite -zinc copper as my original state..the orange and green. That seems also too simple....but then again...aurachalcite can be seein as a copper-gold alloy or a copper-zinc alloy. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!



GRR. I feel like I don't have enough chemical and alchemical knowledge to understand this properly. I just want some nice little step process. like start with this..add this..then this turns into this..then now that you have that..to separate out this crap you do this. AAAIEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!



and then there is the green tara - array of colors and black silty floaty stuff..which i had thought was a potential reference to the peacock's tale when it first happened..but then didn't think that would happen so quickly. This however makes gives a bit more credience to that cause it talks about an oil later on the surface of the watery mass coming after..and my black silt is very oily.



"At this point the alchemists would often encounter the Peacock's Tail,a sudden appearance of a rush of colours, an iridescence on the surface of the material in the flask, which made some think they had achieved their goal. This could arise through the formation of a layer of oil on the surface of the watery mass (in the wet way) or some oxidation-reduction reactions,say on the surface of liquid metal (in the dry way). It was a fleeting show of colour changes, that pointed to the fact that one was on the right path, and reabsorbed the energies released in initial emergence of the polarities. It was a midway point of the process, which could be seen asa false conclusion. Many people who have this experience in their innerlife often falsely assume they have reached the end of the work, and attainedinner transformation and enlightenment. The inner vision of the PeacockÕsTail, beautiful though it may be, is merely a digestion of the polaritiesof the black and white stage. These must be transformed further into spiritualtinctures, if we hope to have any permanent transformation within the soul"





Interestingly enough i found a picture of aurachalcite and its orange and silver green. hmm... "Curious" said Alice.



so hrm..maybe i'm going crazy. i would like to actually figure out the process, including the next few steps, and attempt it in practical alchemy.



I am feeling a bit like soup at the moment in trying to research this. I tend to think we go through the entire alchemical process with each working...and have been through a variety of these stages before in other periods of my life....what is specifically weird about this is the intense quickness that things are happening. Fun and Intense ..sure..but confusing..









-Vel