My Blog

Too Much Me

Dian — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:59:47 GMT

I am going on a diet. And I’m announcing it on Tribe because I have been going to go on a diet for the last two weeks and somehow manage to keep putting it off. If I put it out there, I’ll be less able to rationalize that whatever it is that’s calling my name at the moment. I’ve been less and less happy with myself lately. I know I’ve put on (more) weight. How much more I’m not sure, because I’ve been afraid to step on the scale lately. (I’ll have to weigh in before starting the program and you will probably be able to hear the scream all the way at Lotus when I do.) I think I’ve gone beyond being a little overweight into being unhealthy. My right knee is starting to twinge during certain weight bearing movements and my energy level keeps dropping out. There will always be room for chocolate in my life, but its time to reign in my worst eating habits before things get further out of hand. So, after some discussion with The Incredible Shrinking Jane, I’ve decided to give Weight Watchers on-line a shot. A few years ago, I tried the traditional program with good results, so I’m hoping this will be the shot in the hiney I need to get back on track. Wish me luck!

Good News and Bad News

Dian — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 16:20:46 GMT

The good news is, the house is looking much less like a construction zone and a lot more like a home. The bad news is, its because we’ve been working like crazy to get things finished because the “in-laws” are coming to visit starting tomorrow. I can’t believe how nervous I am. I have a background that involves event planning and high level customer service. You want to throw a party for 300 people? I’m your girl. Last minute client events? Not a problem. I’ve dealt with celebrities, country music singers, fortune 500 company CEOs and the minions who surround them. I should be able to handle Jeremy’s parents for five days, right? Right? (Sigh). The problem is, I’m a hussy. Yep. Jeremy gave up his family and all of his friends in order to move to Charlotte to live in sin with me. Okay, so it might have had something to do with the fabulous job offer with an international firm, too. And Jeremy’s family and friends have never made me feel less than welcome. But I still wonder if they don’t somehow blame me just a little. I know I feel guilty when we go to visit and his mom gets all teary eyed when we leave. I feel all this pressure – totally self inflicted – to somehow prove to them that I’m taking good care of their son. I’m worried they won’t like the house that we’ve both worked so hard on. I’m terrified I’ll try to cook dinner and burn it. I’m worried I’ll run out of conversation or bore them to death. Love is strange. None of this would matter to me half as much if it were just my family coming to visit.

Behind the Scenes

Dian — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:45:06 GMT

Okay, I have to admit that for the last month or so I haven’t been the best friend and belly dancer. Remodeling the house has taken up so much time and energy…..if you watch HGTV, please know that they lie. Its not quick, easy or fun to do many of the projects to upgrade a house. I’ve had to cut way back on classes and seriously contemplated not participating in Yasmine’s recital. That would’ve been a huge mistake. I would’ve missed getting to better know and appreciate a group of smart, talented, funny and (sometimes) opinionated women. Seriously, whether you guys know it or not you’ve helped me keep some perspective in my life lately when the house stuff has been driving me insane. Thank you. For me, its seems to be the moments that happen backstage or leading up to a recital that make it special or stand out. Don’t get me wrong, I like getting dressed up and being on stage, but it wouldn’t be near as much fun without all the craziness and laughter. I think I did this after the last recital, but I kinda like bringing up some of the things that didn’t necessarily happen on stage, but stood out and made this recital special to me: Yasmine giving us staging. Yay! Okay, so that one probably counts as an "on stage" event. But still, us, level 2, changing lines and stuff. And lots of people said it looked good! Rebecca and Angela opening their homes to our class for extra rehearsals. Besides having a great time, I think it really helped us pull together. It certainly helped me feel more confident in the routines. Seeing everyone in our group be so helpful and generous with their time, talents and costumes. I wouldn’t have had a drum solo outfit if not for Angela, Judy lent me flowers to pull back my hair when it frizzed out after the first dance, Kim made sure I had enough make up on, Michi pinned me into my costume and assured me I looked beautiful. And that was just the help they gave me. I was having a bad day until I walked into the green room. You guys are awesome. Thank you. Seeing people I haven’t had a chance to catch up with in awhile. Cat, Ronda, Haley, Renate. You all looked beautiful and it was good to see you again. It was also great to run into Iona at intermission. Thanks for the support, Lotus Lady! Of course it was awesome to see Renate rock her first solo. And leave it to Cat to come up with the perfect props for her routine. I'm looking forward to the DVD to see all of the performances I missed.

Loosing Tribe? What to do....

Dian — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 14:48:18 GMT

I've read some of the rumors that Tribe might shut down or go to some type of payment service for membership. I read on The Biz of Bellydance thread that a lot of folks are moving over to www.ning.com, which is a social networking site much like Tribe. The way it seems to work is you set up a "Social Network, " which is the main area, and then you can have various groups within that network. For example, someone set up a Tribe Refugee Bellydance network and a lot of people are moving their various groups under that main banner. I think this is a good idea, because I really like having a way to keep in touch with folks (without having to pay money) and having a way to network on-line. However, I don't want to start, say, a North Carolina group 'cause then *I* would apparently be moderator. So I was hoping to bring this up so maybe someone with more experience might jump over there and start a group or two for if and when Tribe bites the dust. (*Cough* Nayna, Iona, Sanura *Cough)

We have a house!!!

Dian — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:32:40 GMT

Finally! We closed yesterday on a cute little place in Huntersville. Its not huge, but its got a great open layout and good sized rooms. It needs a little work – scrape the ceilings, new floors, paint, new countertops in the kitchen, etc. But, according to the boyfriend, “nothing major.” LOL. I should be ecstatic. I thought I would be jumping up and down like a beauty pageant winner on crack when this happened. Instead, my response was “Yay! We have a house!” followed immediately by “Holy crap! We have a house!” Its mostly the sticker shock. This is our first home and I’ve never been in this much debt before. And the commitment to things like a yard. We have grass and bushes and things to take care of now. I haven’t done that before, either. And being responsible for the entire outside of the house, not just the inside. Before now, if the roof leaked, I just called maintenance. I’m sure once I get used to it all, I will be ecstatic. I’ve had a great time obsessing over paint colors (anything but apartment cream) and looking at appliances (new ‘fridge – no more worrying about someone else’s science experiment) and carpet (berber). And I can practice my zills without someone banging on the walls or calling the lease office to complain. And, best of all, I get to make a home with the man I love. Its not – quite- time for the ring, but this shows me his commitment to our relationship in a huge way. ‘Ya know, when I think about it that way, having a yard and a mortgage isn’t so scary……

Help! Can anyone recommend a good realtor?

Dian — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 17:00:06 GMT

We’re specifically looking for someone familiar with the Huntersville, Cornelius, Denver, and Mt. Island Lake areas. We are looking for someone who is knowledgeable, responsive to e-mails/phone calls and who is above all honest. Any advice or leads would be appreciated!

Guilty Pleasures

Dian — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 14:59:50 GMT

We all have our favorite belly dance songs – I love Drama Queen off of Bellydance Superstars 3. Still, I have to confess that there are songs that are not really performance or class appropriate that make me want to not just dance, but full out shimmy, undulate, hip drop belly dance. I consider them my guilty pleasures: Baby Got Back by Sir Mixalot – the perfect shimmy song. The Whistle Song by Juelz Santana – I always though this would make a great “drum solo.” Baby Girl and I Will Make You Cry by Nellie Furtado – a great rhythms and attitude. Does anyone else want to ‘fess up? Do you have a guilty pleasure you like to dance to?

Almost Home

Dian — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 19:21:17 GMT

*Update: We put in an offer only to be told the bank will be taking offers for at least another week and then will award the house to the people with the highest number. (Its a foreclosure. We understand that they're doing this to get the max number from folks from the outset. It also allows them to cherry pick or just wait until the number they want comes across) No negotiation. Bleh. Looks like we have to continue Looking.... We are Looking for a House. We have been Looking for a House for some months now, but haven’t found anything that quite fits the bill for one reason or another. Looking for a House has grown into quite the hobby. The boyfriend and I spend quite a bit of our free time Looking! For a House! So imagine my joy when we actually see one that might just possibly work. It needs some TLC, but we’re okay with that. It meets all of our major requirements – good sized rooms, two car garage, not so close to our neighbors that we can see in their windows. I’m trying very hard right now not to get my hopes up ‘cause we still have two major hurdles to get over. The comps on the other houses in the neighborhood (to be sure it’s a good investment) and the home inspection (needing TLC is one thing, major surgery is another thing entirely). I’m trying really hard right now not to daydream about paint colors and flooring and a new refrigerator. Its hard not to get all excited about being able to practice my zilling without the neighbors pounding on the walls. I don’t want to get too invested in the idea of living in this place and have my dreams dashed. Still, keep your fingers crossed for me, please?

How to be tastefully tacky?

Dian — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 18:53:43 GMT

So I tried these new eyeshadows from The Belly Dance Shop called True Colors in the recital this past weekend. I was very pleased with them, but not so pleased with my stage makeup. I feel like I went a little over the top in the effort to put on enough. I know we're supposed to look....overdone, but how much is too much? Is there such a thing as tasteful stage makeup? Are there any good resources out there?

Philosophy on the Fridge

Dian — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 17:24:05 GMT

A little while ago the boyfriend and I saw this magnet that said “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?” Mostly, I’m five. Okay, okay it changes, but I realized how I feel is rarely the age I really am. I think that’s a good thing overall.

Joy in Unexpected Places

Dian — Sun, 17 Jun 2007 16:37:10 GMT

Strangely enough, for me the highlights of last night’s recital all occurred off stage. Don’t get me wrong, being on stage is always a huge buzz and I love it, but when I sat down to write this morning the things that keep popping into my head don’t have much to do with my performance. In no particular order: Having to rush back stage to get into line up because I didn’t want to miss seeing Nayna perform in “the bra from hell.” Haley telling me which eye shadow colors to use on her mom. She has good taste. The big group hug to dispel the evil spirits from the first level 2 dance. My boyfriend kissing my hand during intermission and telling me how beautiful I looked. Realizing little Maya has Mommy Iona’s radiant smile. Joy’s and Shayda’s solos. Wow. Just wow. Everyone congratulating each other after Harem. REDEMPTION!! Nayna’s reaction when I called her short. Which I will never, ever do again. I wish the site would let me post the photo. How absolutely beautiful everyone looked. Isn’t it amazing how sparkly outfits and lots of mascara can transform a person? It was a great night and I was proud to be a part of it.

Warning....mush content

Dian — Fri, 15 Jun 2007 14:19:19 GMT

Okay, I just have to gush a little. Somehow, someway I have lucked into the best belly dance boyfriend a girl could have. He’s always been very supportive, but he’s been doubly so as time for the recital gets closer. I tend to get very focused…okay borderline obsessive around performances. Quite frankly, I would have strangled me by now if I were in his position. I fret about how I’ve gained weight and have nothing to wear and he takes me to The Belly Dance Shop and buys me one completely new outfit and accessories to dress up some other pieces I have. I get asked to an extra practice and he encourages me to go, even though we have to rearrange our plans for that day. Ditto no complaints when I want to do a pick up class and a private lesson. He asks me how classes are going and actually listens when I go on about shimmys and zill patterns. He even knows quite a few belly dance terms – probably learned them out of sheer self defense. And he constantly tells me how proud he is of me. What can I say? I’m in love!

Why Am I Doing This?

Dian — Thu, 14 Jun 2007 16:11:44 GMT

Its recital time again and I’m full of doubts. I’ve gained weight and look like one of the dancing pink hippos in a Disney cartoon. My ohmis are mushy. My zilling sucks. I’m going to turn the wrong way on stage and put someone’s eye out. Why am I doing this again? Really, why am I doing this? Not recital. Belly dance. Glittery costumes and making friends aside, why this. Why not golf, or book club or biking? Because it lets me climb out of the freakin’ box. I realized a few years ago that I was living in a box defined not only by my choices, but by people’s perceptions of me. I’m not sure how it happened or when it began, but I realized friends and family saw me in a certain ways and those ways were…..boring. And only a portion of the whole. (Please let me state for the record that my boyfriend has never tried to put me into a box. He supports me 100% in anything I choose to do. Its one of the many reasons I love him.) Adjectives used to describe me are dependable, smart, loyal, organized. Ask any of my coworkers or acquaintances if I was a belly dancer and they would probably laugh. Seriously, I’ve had this happen. I think it’s the glasses. So, weird as it sounds, belly dance lets me rebel. It’s a small rebellion and personal. Belly dance is my reminder to myself that I’m not solely defined by what’s expected of me. Yes, I may be dependable, smart, loyal, organized. But I’m also graceful, fun, sexy, mysterious. Belly dance lets me dream, perform, express. So during recital I’ll cast my doubts aside and walk onto that stage with my chin up. For those few minutes its all about the dance and the music and the joy of sharing it all with others. If you want to look for me, I’ll be the brunette on the second row of the level 2 dances with the mile wide smile. I’ll be the one dancing outside of the box and loving every minute of it.