Here I sit with nose practically pressed up against the glass door of the boarding lounge, waiting to board the plane. Waiting...very eagerly….!!!

There’s no sadness attached to this event, (particulary because I’m exiting though Delhi, a total nuthouse.) , no regrest or reminiscence , in fact I look around me and see scores of men with a hungry look in their eyes and very few women.

Poor me ! I Lament to myself. Not a moments personal space…sniffel cough… not a breath of fresh air… phlegm ball…cough… I spend a week in Delhi and become run down by the whole set up there, an existence consumed with wanting , getting .
A friend shared her reflection of India, that after months of yoga and spiritual quests, she actually felt as if she was further away as apposed to closer to her ‘self’. But of course! Was my initial reaction. Isn’t that the whole point of eastern spirituality? To loose the self, to Transcend the ‘self’ to feel the interconnectedness of everything ? How can we feel this if we’re to busy trying to be an individual and find our”selves”.

On the other hand, at what cost do we abandon our personal boundaries and loose ourselves? When I think of all the amazing art and philosophy that has come out of India , the magic and beauty of it’s lands , it’s difficult to comprehend how there can also be such chaos and poverty. I see the reality, the experience of the masses. Even after thousands of years of avatars, India is still stuck in the same loop. It makes me wonder even why we come to India to deepen our spiritual practice ,to increase our inner awareness. What about our outer awareness , positive action and energy that is desperately needed in India. ? When there is so much that needs to be done in terms reliving poverty and environmental awareness?

I love the contrasts of India but can’t help but be disturbed by some of them . I love the magic and tranquility of the mountains . The holy men giving satsangs on mind body balance , inner harmony and containing the monkey mind. Then I leave the mountains to the city and am overwhelmed by the lack of harmony and balance , of monkeys dancing in their own poo in the so called economical hub of India , Delhi. Perhaps I’ve got it all wrong but that was my impression .

Well , the announcements on to board the flight , I think I’m gonna be the first one out of those glass doors!