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RD

offline 34 friends
joined on 02/05/09
last updated 12/08/12
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My Recent Activity

Re: Positive exemplars (in Limerence Experienced) I of course can't speak for anyone else, but for me, the sadness lifted - the constant sadness lifted. It was a reality *for a while* but not forevermore. Better yet, the new reality doesn't feel sad. For me, accepting helped me let go of that... read more
discussion post on Thu, August 7, 2014 - 6:34 PM
Re: Breaking Free and Thinking Forward (in Limerence Experienced) The gray days - I remember that place all too clearly. The endless gray empty place. Not quite numb but a whole lot of nothing. It seemed to go on forever.

First: It does NOT go on forever. I'm here to tell you, it ends.

All the things th... read more
discussion post on Tue, August 5, 2014 - 5:02 PM
Re: The Crisis is in the Healing - (in Limerence Experienced) "It is the moment when our resolution seems about to become irrevocable, when the fatal iron gates are about to close upon us, that tests our strength. Then, after hours of clear reasoning and firm conviction, we snatch at any sophistry that will ... read more
discussion post on Mon, August 4, 2014 - 7:04 PM
Re: cult leaders and limerent objects (in Limerence Experienced) Funny. I used to tell LO that it was good that he wasn't interested in being a cult leader because he'd be wildly successful at it.
discussion post on Thu, July 24, 2014 - 6:24 PM
Generosity (blog entry) A quote:

We tend to like those who are generous with us, allowing us to make mistakes and be imperfect without holding it against us. When people are generous, we feel like we can breathe around them. We feel like we can be more authent... read more
blog entry posted Wed, May 18, 2011 - 7:25 AM permalink - 3 comments
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My Friends

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Gotta have faith

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What makes sense to me...

Gender
Female
about me
"Overdoing leaves insufficient time for savoring." Margaret Roach

"I have always thought that the length of a relationship and it’s ending should not determine how we remember it."

"where you find something out of your control you will always find god." isis

"nonsense draws evil after it" CS Lewis, The Four Loves

www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php
www.didymus.org/falling-ou...apathy.html

Overpowering another person by personality, intensity, argumentation, or any other means is in essence a form of slavery.

"I'd rather clean up after you 1,000 times than find out you were afraid."

"Ravish hope
heedless imperfection
deceptive debridement
empyrean abyss...
radiant Life
my azure Muse."



Character... the willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life... is the source from which self respect springs." Joan Didion

I need your grace to remind me to find my own.

If you never thought you might be bipolar until you got involved with a certain person it is likely the other person who is off, not you.


A friend of mine who is a 12 Stepper recently wrote this: Many drug addicts think "I want to feel the high right now. I can handle the fall out/consequences. I think it will be worth the fun I have right now."
Don't let this describe your limerence. It IS an addiction but you cannot handle the fallout.


"If you make a mistake, note it rationally and logically but not emotionally. Minimize its size, impact, and meaning. Then forget it and go dream about your goals, the exciting things you are now working toward. " wwnh.wordpress.com


"The inevitable end of a relationship is no reason not to go there in the first place."

It's not about achievement, it's about adventure.

The idea that you can do everything right and avoid a crisis is a myth.

He may think he is sincere about you. And you may be the primary object of his affection. But, he isn't really grown up enough to follow a reasonable script, and it probably isn't advisable to wait around for him to grow up (on the chance that he might want to).

"When you see crazy coming, cross the street."

"Safe upon the solid rock the ugly houses stand:
Come and see my shining palace built upon the sand!"
Edna St. Vincent Millay

"Fear can never be satisfied, it can only get stronger, only desire can be consummated." Kevin Behan

""I guess part of the appeal of the LO is having the space to want them in because they're not there." Notreallysarah

"A person can negotiate for the extras in life... but never negotiate for respect."

Kelsey's First Law of Human Dynamics: Those in pain will choose to stay in pain until it rises to such a level it can no longer be ignored. Change will then emerge.

When people can't push you around anymore their true colors come out.

Men do not like to be on the "outs" with a woman. They just don't. They want to feel like they are a good guy. I think he is happily married but he doesn't want to be on the outs with you. He is trying to feel better about it.


Men are not to be relied upon as emotional crutches. The moment you do that, they poof! So don't expect another man to replace the emotional crutch you just lost. You CAN be your own emotional crutch. You must remember you have your OWN path in life, your OWN purpose to fulfill, and if a man so chooses and YOU so choose he can accompany you on your path, but he cannot substitute for your purpose in life.

It's tough to fall in love with yourself when you are fascinated by someone else.

There is no substitute for peace.

"giving in to love as a prelude to falling in love with life"


Whoever tries to win you over into trying out new things that you have already rejected, is simply trying to control you.

"Be wary of those who enjoy your attentions but who do not place a premium on your society." Celestia

What you want isn't merely what you get. It's where you'll be. It's who you'll be. Better to sprain your sensibilities early than to find your life irrevocably fractured down the road. Speak now or forever sacrifice your peace. (Just Say What You Want, Tien)

I will begin to listen to what my feelings are trying to tell me. I may not always know what to do, but I am willing to experiment with my greatest asset.

No man can ever guarantee you a "happily ever after", and you need to take responsibility for creating a life that you, and only you can live with, right now.

There's no such thing as a 'fun fling' with someone who takes advantage of you.

"I’m compatible with someone who loves, respects, trusts, and cares about me, that has values, shares my values, and isn’t trying to fight being a decent person in a decent relationship. I'm not compatible with bullsh*t." (Baggage Reclaim)

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.
- J. P. Donleavy

Half my life is an act of revision.
- John Irving

Reading and weeping opens the door to one's heart, but writing and weeping opens the window to one's soul.
- M. K. Simmons
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My Blog

A quote:

We tend to like those who are generous with us, allowing us to make mistakes and be imperfect without holding it against us. When people are generous, we feel like we can breathe around them. We feel like we can be more authentically who we are. Generosity is a spacious phenomenon.

Yet most of us are pretty stingy. Rather than looking for people’s positive traits, we assess them, instead, through the filter of who we think they should be or shouldn’t be, an... read more
Wed, May 18, 2011 - 7:25 AM permalink - 3 comments
 
A year ago someone on tribe pointed out this website to me - baggagereclaim.com. I haven't checked it out in months... looked today and found this entry. A must read for those of us who are hurting or have been hurt relationally.

She hits a lot of areas that are still sore spots for me. But, gratitude through tears is my new favorite emotion.
_______________________________________

Happy Thanksgiving to my American readers! Wherever you are today, sometimes it’s good to reflect on... read more
Thu, December 9, 2010 - 5:58 AM permalink - 7 comments
 
I was flipping around the radio one morning this week and I heard someone singing:

"Would you dare to believe
that you still have a reason to sing?
Because the pain that you've been feeling
is the hurt before the healing.
Becuase the pain that you've been feeling
is the dark before the morning"

It caught my attention because it put words to my current experience. I am daring to believe... more daring than believing :) I think it's called hope.

I am not a fan of Christian "r... read more
Wed, November 3, 2010 - 11:51 AM permalink - 2 comments
 
I spent the last week on "vacation". Yeah, I am sooo not rested.

I've written a little bit about this dog trainer, Kevin Behan. I've been following him on his website and decided to drive to his home to get Lou (aka tasmanian devil) trained by him. Lou is aggressive, motivated by fear. If you came to my house he would, given the freedom, grab ahold of your pant leg and tug and maybe (even likely) bite the crap out of you. This is the kind of dog Kevin likes. He lives a long way fro... read more
Tue, August 3, 2010 - 11:12 AM permalink - 7 comments
 
I am come into a Presence.
passionate with patience
familiar as sorrow,
stern as a rock that questions dash against
and die like waves away

into a stillness
worn and dear as a mother’s hands,
a space of mercy, a space of quiet
a dear and gracious place.

and shall I truly know
some day
that high, glad, lifting joy
that lilting happiness?

I am open to the earth and sky
washed by rain and dried by sun,
the scarecrow stands in empty fields
as happy and as free.
And wheeling... read more
Fri, June 26, 2009 - 6:54 PM permalink - 4 comments
 
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