My Blog

Finally I Am Starting To Understand Myself...

tigerman68 — Sat, 17 May 2008 12:14:05 GMT

Finally! At this point in my Life, I am starting to understand myself, and why I have made certain questionable decisions in my past. Recently diagnosed as having "Bipolar Disorder", my curiosities about myself are becoming clear. I have spent my Life proving to the world that I am not an idiot, stupid, nor irresponsible. My problem is that my mind is always spinning at 100 miles an hour, and, I come across to others as frazzled and dizzy-headed. You don't just quit a good-paying career becuse you "don't like the way things are anymore". Well, I once did. Anyway, I am hopeful, that, with proper treatment, I am starting on the right road to recovery, for myself, to live and lead a better, more productive Life. My partner hopes so, too...! (The photo above is a representation of a Man who is on this Better Road.)

So, It's Not All My Fault

tigerman68 — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 15:49:39 GMT

Finally, I have learned that one can struggle to get ahead in Life, and, try as hard as one can, sometimes it's NOT all "My Fault". Being diagnosed as Bi-Polar, and, knowing that there is help available, I will finally (and hopefully) be able to settle down a bit, and really focus, for the first time in my Life. I no longer have to put myself down for not doing better for myself. And, maybe, relieve myself of a vast amount of Guilt... We'll see how it goes from here.....I now have New Hope for Myself...!

To Be Desired, Without Making Apologies for Who You Are.....

tigerman68 — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 20:44:06 GMT

Another one of my favourite images here. I have to hold back from being too "racy". I know this profile of mine comes across very eclectic and dizzy, when I demonstrate that I wish to be the "Betty Crocker" in my home life with my partner, and, at the same time, exploring interests (only on the internet so far) that are so vast and seemingly unrelated, and certainly clash with the former. Very few people truly understand me; even my partner is often perplexed by me. But, we do a lot of communicating, which is the foundation of a healthy relationship. (O.K. - start the music now and sing with me: "Someday My Prince Will Come....") - as they say on the Internet - "LOL"

What's Your Opinion?

tigerman68 — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 15:56:19 GMT

O.K. friends, what's your opinion? In this photo, I have proportionally enlarged my lobes to a full 1 inch. They are 7/8" already, and, I like even numbers. I have also added a couple small tattoo elements, one further up the side of my neck, and one behind my ear. I also miss the labret piercing I used to have (below the lower lip). Feel free to share with me your comments.

So This Is "What 40 Looks Like"...

tigerman68 — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 12:25:10 GMT

Another Birthday. Well, here I am at a new "Cross-Road of Life", that my partner describes, where I am at in my life right now. Just turned "the big 4-0", I was very curious what I would be like, where I would be in my Life, when I turned 30. So, I have High Hopes for this next decade in my Life... more on this, later.

Happy New Year Tribe Friends!

tigerman68 — Sat, 29 Dec 2007 12:23:10 GMT

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukkah, and a Happy and Healthy New Year! Let's all look forward to Wonderful Times to come, full of laughter and smiles, in 2008!

My Man Turns 53 !

tigerman68 — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 13:21:19 GMT

He's My Daddy! ~ We celebrated my partner turning a sprite 53 years young recently. He is a perfect example of a well-adjusted man, who has survived many tough challenges in his Life. I aspire to develop more like him as I age... but, in my own style. We don't see "eye-to-eye" on everything, however, we also seem to contrast, as well as compliment, each other, very well.

I Have Come To A Cross-Roads....

tigerman68 — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 14:03:42 GMT

I have come to a "Cross-Road" said my partner, last night. I came home late from work, to celebrate my lover's 53rd. Birthday. I just received a promotion at work. In a field that is not my chosen desire in life. Desktop Publishing full-time, out here in the country where I live, seems to be near impossible. Now my "other" career is moving upward. What to do? - I ask myself. And, I must decide NOW, as I turn 40 next month..... (new photo of me with 7/8" machine tunnels & 4ga septum ring, which my partner thinks makes me look like a monkey...)

In The Words of Jessica Rabbit...

tigerman68 — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 15:07:15 GMT

Do you recall the movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?". The main character, Roger, was a dorky yet talented fellow ( a "toon" rabbit). He was married to a Vixen-looking creature named Jessica Rabbit (a human-like "toon"). At one point, she had to explain to a Private Investigator, that, "I'm Not Bad, I'm Just Drawn That Way". Isn't that so true? One should not judge a book by its cover.

Introducing "Blue Boy"

tigerman68 — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 14:54:26 GMT

I have decided to create time in my Life, once again, for other long-loved pursuits. I enjoy creative expressions in the form of painting, specifically with acrylics. This "Blue-Boy", above, is my first painting since I've moved out where I now live in the country. Painting for me is both a means of self expression and self-discovery. (Acrylic on Canvas Board, 16x20")

Two Of My Most Favourite Things

tigerman68 — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 14:21:37 GMT

I know, I am a complete puzzle. I love masculine guys, and, Ford's biggest marketing flop, the Edsel. I don't believe they are subconsciously connected in any way. I have always loved the flashy, flamboyant cars of the Fifties. Bold, in-your-face designs in metal. The Edsel was supposed to be a big success, but it turned out to be a huge failure, for many reasons. Check out the Edsel Tribe I have just started!

The Lighter Side of Life....

tigerman68 — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 13:37:59 GMT

On the lighter side of Life, here is a fun pic of me with my 2 Djungarian Dwarf hamsters, Dino & Harvey. They are now about 1 year old, and therefore middle-aged. Dwarf hamsters have a shorter lifespan than regular-sized hamsters, which is about 2 years. Their coats have turned very white since I've adopted them. So, I must enjoy them while they are with me! They are great fun creatures to care for. Hamsters, as pets, are not just for children!

Storms In My Mind....

tigerman68 — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 22:00:26 GMT

This photo is perfect. It describes the active, powerful, continually rotating storms of thought in my mind... I have spent the past decade of my life trying to find my Happiness. I have discovered, the hard way, that, finding ones Happiness is much more than finding the right Life Partner, or, moving to a new home town, or even, acquiring the perfect job (well, we'll see about that one!) I have decided, that, true personal happines comes from within one's own mind.... by avoiding the unnecessary pressures from those around you. Well, I have said before that I am a "Work In Progress", and, now, I am finally actively working on this...

I Can't Wait To Turn 40!

tigerman68 — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 18:32:04 GMT

Yes, well, I have been in a rush to grow older since I "Came Out", at the age of 29. Why? Because I was very frustrated with myself, for not acheiving "enough" in certain areas in my Life. Only, now, after celebrating my grandparent's 70th - yes, 70th - Wedding Anniversary, and, my niece's Bar Mitzvah coming up next year, I do not feel like rushing Life by. yes, I wish to grow smarter and wiser with time, but, at the same time, those I love, will not be around forever.... It seems, growing older and wiser does have its down-side. Well, that's Life. Just for fun, I created this caricature of myself, perhaps, in the future. Some elements are computer-additions. Can you spot them??

Me in My Dream Car

tigerman68 — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 03:35:00 GMT

Well, it happened in Moncton, New Brunswick! I got the chance to sit behind the wheel of a beautiful 1959 Edsel Corsair convertible, a classic car I wish to own someday. My partner & I visited Moncton for the Atlantic Nationals Classic Car Event - 4 days of over 3000 classic on display. It was awesome! - And, so were the Men!!

Latest Tattoo Design

tigerman68 — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 11:37:12 GMT

Well, I had in mind one last pair of tattoos, on the tops at my shoulders, which developed during my previous design idea. Future tattoo wishes shall be put "on hold" for now, for a variety of reasons. People I love in my Life are a BIG reason... but, I will never promise that "I'm done". For, how does a painter promise to no longer paint???

My Next Design Element

tigerman68 — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 21:45:00 GMT

First - relax, my dear Partner - the photo here is just a flight of fancy. Except for the element circled in red. That item I want very soon. Well, I didn't get banished from my family recently, at a big event. My grandparent's 70th - yes 70th - Anniversary party. Mazel Tov! With me, dressed in my highest-collared dress shirt - and, my Grandfather noticed my latest designs on the back of my neck. He told my father (who hates my tattoos the most) - that, he thought I was now a part of some Sect. Oy vey! I had to tell my Gramps later in private, that, they are simply abstract designs that I like on my body. And, yes, I can have them removed, someday, when I am old an 95, and preparing to get myself burried in a Jewish cemetary. (For those who don't know, Jews are not suposed to alter their bodies - Oops!) Anyone who knows me, knows the importance and pride I hold inside myself regarding my faith. In the words of Jesicca Rabbit - "I'm not bad - I'm just drawn that way" ! - from the movie - Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"

This Man in my Life is Amazing

tigerman68 — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 21:18:35 GMT

Here is my Partner. For lack of a better term, there is no word in the English dictionary that I like, for a same-sex spouse. He is not my "Husband", although, he fills that role completly, except that we are not legally married. Here is my Dwight, making home-made strawberry jam. He also fixes my car, feeds me wonderful meals, and treats me with full respect, love, and devotion. AND - he's wonderful in bed! As my lover says to me: "what more could you want" ? That's true. O.K., so, he's not quite the "Nice Jewish Girl" my parent's had hoped I'd find. I'll take him, with everything he has to offer. I am blessed to have this man in my Life.

Tattoo Additions

tigerman68 — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 22:15:01 GMT

I decided that I pared back my initial design too much, so I had 4 small elements added. Also, I discovered a big design issue! I designed my neck tattoo around my hair line, assuming that it was dead-centre to the back of my neck. Well, I as wrong. Nature is not perfect, and, my tattoo is actually off-centre from the back of my neck! Not that anyone would notice, but that is also why I chose to add a few more elements! It's hard to design around a cylindrical part of your body!

My Nape Tattoo Arrives!

tigerman68 — Thu, 24 May 2007 01:15:54 GMT

I was finally ready to add this element to my body. In itself, this shape on the nape of my neck (above the Capricorn goat) is just another pretty shape on my body. However, its' placement is full of meaning. It was still designed to be (almost) concealed by a collared dress shirt, for the needs of others in my Life. But I have no qualms about that. I am very proud of this tattoo ( I had gone through many revisions!). Just don't ask me if I'm "done yet"...!!! Most importantly for me, my Partner attended by my side. I had this design tattooed at: www.shiversink.com - A very clean, professional place. More ramblings on this later.

My Next Tattoo Design

tigerman68 — Tue, 15 May 2007 22:40:57 GMT

Here is a sketch of my next Tattoo element I would like to accomplish for myself. Just above my Capricorn, on the nape of my neck. I just hope it does not cause a Divorce, between my Partner and I.... Oh, he thinks I "like to push boundaries"... well, that is not entirely accurate. I just want to grow into the "ME" I wish to be, and wish to become... before I'm 75 years old, laying in my death-bed, regretting not doing things in my Life when I had the chance. You only have one Life to Live - so, I think - one should LIVE IT!!! (more on this later...)

I Am An Edsel

tigerman68 — Sat, 12 May 2007 10:55:41 GMT

If I was a car, I would be a 1958 Edsel Citation. Yes, Ford Motor Company's well-known "flop" from the late Fifties. Why? Because it was oddly decorated and missunderstood. I have been fascinated with Ford's Edsel ever since I was 13, and watched a program about the car on the evening news. In my Life, I have always equated myself with the "underdog", be it cars, or cartoon characters (such as Charlie Brown). Someday, I will drive my own Edsel Citation (the top-line model, of course), 4-door hardtop, 3-tone, in black, white & pink. The image here is a factory promotional shot for a 1958 Edsel Citation 2-door hardtop.

The World Is Not Ready For Me

tigerman68 — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 13:27:11 GMT

It seems that I am an Odd Duck. The world is not ready for me to continue discovering, and growing, into the person I feel I am meant to become. Well, my previous partner, whom sat with me through my first tattoo, dumped me because I added too many tattoos over time. My partner in my life now (and hopefully the last one in my life), would like me to be "finished" with my tattoo desires, although, he knows that I am not. this conversation is not over yet. This photo shows a future tattoo design up the nape of my neck, in my tribal style. Also, future ideas for the backs of my hands.

What I Want To Be When I Grow Up

tigerman68 — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 13:08:12 GMT

Confidence, and a healthy Self-Esteem, is what I am working on building. After living my life for many years with someone else's Rules and Belief System, I had learned to be Dissappointed about Life, and not expect much happiness, in myself. Now is the time to change this. I wish to become Bold and Confident like I believe this man is, of course, I am assuming that he is not worried about his finances, nor what other people think about him. Hey, I'm guessing, here.

Tattoos "R" Us

tigerman68 — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 01:09:33 GMT

Well, this is my first "Blog" here. I am just a quiet, gay male, learning to be confident once again at this late stage in my Life, trying not to be Too Hard on myself for it. I yearn to discover and grow within myself, without harming others. That is how I was raised. Oh, and I do have one BIG supporter in my Life, my Partner, who is slightly older than I, and, sometimes has problems understanding me, but he tries. So far, so good. Here is a pic of some other tattoo ideas I have... we'll see if I have the strength to follow through with them. I don't want to have any regrets before I die, you see.