I’ve discovered that it is vital to know myself completely before I enter into a committed partnership with another human being, to know my values, needs, ethics, desires and rules. I need to know what my reality is, all that is right and true for me. No matter if those variables differ from anyone else’s, so long as I understand that they are mine.

I am slowly setting my protective barriers so that I may avoid experiencing a similar painful crash and find myself self-immersed in anger, pity, and pain for so many months, blaming myself because a relationship came to an end, and ended partly because I was not compatible with another human being, or was unable to accept or submit to parameters other people demand of me to meet as part of a privilege of being with them. I want to actually believe and trust in acceptance and self-esteem. I want to have faith and trust in the people around me, but the only way I can trust them is to Trust and Believe in Myself.

When I don’t know who I am, what I stand for, or what I need, then I leave myself open to be preyed upon, to be taken advantage of, to be manipulated, and used . . .by lovers as well as friends.

This is the bubble of knowledge and strength I wrap around myself every day before I mingle with the people around me. How I am able to offer myself as a whole individual to family, friends, and lovers.