Outward extension of my waffle

at least you can walk

Gingerbeav — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 21:11:38 GMT

yesterday, there was a man in a motorized wheelchair stuck in the road. no one was stopping. cars were going around. granted, this is new england and everyone has places to be and things to do, but no one was stopping. a friend who was in the car with me helped push him onto the sidewalk (motorized chairs weigh 300 pounds) and then we called whomever we could to find some one to pick him up. eventually the fire department had to come to take the man who could barely use his hands and definitely could not use his legs home. i know you might be having a bad day; your lover and you disagreed, you wrecked your car, your father took a car loan out in your name and is on the verge of suicide, you spilled soup on your gorgeous blouse, getting a phd is rough most of the time, it rained on your parade...but hey, at least you can walk. and use your hands. (for those of you who can.) my heart is overwhelmed. this is a gift. shanti, shanti, shanti.

love me some ptown

Gingerbeav — Wed, 07 May 2008 23:40:06 GMT

soooo good to see all of yer shining faces this weekend. thanks for giving me the energy to finish up the first year of phd hell. see you this summer!!! love love.....llllooooove.

a restitution

Gingerbeav — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 14:57:06 GMT

things left unsaid. if i've ever hurt you; i apologize. if i never told each of you how shining and radiant you are; i'm doing it now. if you've ever let me store my stuff at your house or in your psyche; thank you. if you ever came over in your jambos and cried in my arms; i honor you. if you ever cuddled me because it was just impossible for me to get out of bed; i remember you. if you ever let my snot drip on your leather jacket because of racking sobs; i know i'm whole because you witnessed my broken woman tears. if i ever said i wanted you out of my life; i was lying. if we ever made out in the corner, under a table, or on the kitchen table; it was hot. if i ever called you an unfair name; i was actually calling myself out. if we ever drank maker's and i said some things i shouldn't have; i'm sorry. if we ever got so high we weren't sure we could figure out how to get back home; i don't think i want to do that again. if we ever danced and danced until we saw god; you are god. if you played the most perfect set for me under the full moon; i recognize you. i see you.

Your Ginger wants to see YOU!

Gingerbeav — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 16:21:16 GMT

So I'm coming in town tomorrow until january 7th. and i'd love to see you. call me and we'll play. also, no one wants to pick me up from the airport at midnight tomorrow, do they? it's late so i didn't want to ask anyone directly. loves!!!

thunderstorms and lifepoints.

Gingerbeav — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 18:35:39 GMT

i'm having one of those days where it's pouring the rain and i'm wondering what the hell i'm doing out here. i knew that getting your phd was a lot of work, but there seems to be less point than there was before. i love where i live, the people around here, and my work, but i can't figure out if it makes a difference. is it better to write studies, do research for years and years and hope to instigate some sort of change or to live your life "selfishly" but wholeheartedly in love with every movement and do whatever the hell you want? i'm just not sure these things can congeal into one place anymore. because i absolutely cannot maintain the level of fun i want to have and get all this work done. there just aren't enough hours in my lifetime. and i used to be impressed by working for the woman who used to run the ford foundation or being in class with the guy is responsible for getting out the word about artic global problems and was on npr yesterday, but it's seeming a little less impressive by the minute. and i miss the west coast. there's already been a couple people here to visit and all it did was give me more ants in my pants. is there really a reason to be working this hard? i'm just really not sure...two months down; 2 years to go...

things i've learned so far in new england gradual skool

Gingerbeav — Wed, 19 Sep 2007 02:55:32 GMT

- How to replace words like "holding space" and "paradigm shift" with "wicked" and "lobster" - There are exactly 3 bike lanes in new hampshire...that are actually supposed to be used as a right hand passing lane for cars going 110. - That once you've taken acid with 50,000 of your closest friends and run around the desert nekkid, the sociological liberal enlightenment theorists of the 1700's cease to be as exciting. - Baseball is the new fucking. evidently.

Sayonara PDX

Gingerbeav — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 16:06:27 GMT

I love you! See you at the Burning Man.

Ginger B.'s going away bash...Save the date!

Gingerbeav — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 03:49:06 GMT

Okay, so I'm checking outta Portland for a bit to finish up grad school and will be back and forth and all that. But before that, I want to see all your beautiful faces (the ones of you that won't be at SOAK) and drink a lot of whiskey with you. I'd also like to introduce you to the keg stand club and see you shake yer ass. So we're having a good sized bash. Saturday, July 21st at Thane's house cause it can hold everyone and he's been fixin' up the backyard with you in mind. 25th and Alberta. Details still being worked out, but I think DJ Global Ruckus, Angry Buddha, and Luke will probably be giving the musical entertainment. If yer not going to SOAK, there's really no excuse for you not to come and play with me before I head off to the east coast where people are invariably much more boring than you.

My Phone is Phucked.

Gingerbeav — Wed, 09 May 2007 06:44:29 GMT

I turned my phone into salad today by accidently getting basalmic vinegar all over it. I know most of you are having a sweet time at the Yard Dogs right now, but I'm feeling the addiction to my cell phone and am sad cause it's done for. I need like a bagillon phone numbers. Could you email me your phone number puhlease? Also, if I don't return text/phone messages for the next coupla days, it's because my phone is phucked.

Performance Meet-in, my casa

Gingerbeav — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:41:38 GMT

Loverlies--- I think I've called everyone, but other lovers of monkeys are welcome to be a part of what we're trying to plan... We're planning on going to SF in June to perform at a friend's wedding with a bunch of other people and want to get sumpin in the werks. If you like to perform and want to play with the monkeys, give me a call or just show up tonight at my house at 7pm. Call me if you need directions. love!!!

Swimming in Mud

Gingerbeav — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 19:53:13 GMT

Did anyone else notice it this morning? There's some sort of over caffeinated while strangely muted feel in the air. Like we're standing, not on the edge of a cliff, but more like the edge of a ditch. Everyone's just about to understand there's no real danger. And you can circumnavigate it or maybe we don't want to. It feels like mud. I prayed for darkness on New Year's because I wanted to understand. And instead of darkness I'm learning about circles. Spring's here and all those mornings into afternoons of looking out the window at the rain are turning into solidity. What's everyone doing with themselves this summer? Do you see a ditch or do you see a cliff or something different entirely? Does anyone else feel fragmented, but completely whole? How are you reconciling the beauty, the confusion? Maybe it's just about acceptance.

my love for you...

Gingerbeav — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 07:55:20 GMT

so i think i have about 5 minutes left of my birthday. but i wanted to take this time right after thanksgiving and right after i was just rebirthed yet again as the half scorpio half sag i am and send out my love to everyone. i'm so thankful you're all in my life. i love you.

one certain ginger beav loves you

Gingerbeav — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 04:13:23 GMT

this is the sound of a ginger beav being mopey. i've been wandering around wearing my monkey scarf wondering where my family is. can i fit 35 or so (counting our visiting friends) into my bed for a big slumber party for the next 49 weeks until we do it again? i miss you! yes you! one certain ginger beav loves you. let's play soon. i'm serious.

um, i'm only about 76.2% nerd; i swear. come play with me.

Gingerbeav — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 23:03:26 GMT

Are you a ninja or think yourself ninja-like? Do you want to trade in those 8 inch platforms for a few hours and kick ass in a pair of tennis shoes? Were you at one time a 10 year old kid? If you answered yes to any of these questions you are eligible to: CAPTURE THE FLAG! at Laurelhurst Park, Friday 8:30pm. Yes, you too can experience that feeling of triumphant euphoria last experienced when you were 10 and you beat the pants off the enemy in this oh so sneaky game. Last time we had 24 people, most of whom were dressed as pirates and it ruled.

sleeping with cassady and ginsberg

Gingerbeav — Sun, 12 Mar 2006 02:25:17 GMT

Oh, Beat america. Let loose with what you will, but that constructive chaos inevitably turns. Unless it is just the correct proportion. An alchemical reaction. I want it in my bed and then I want my life back. Can we live like that? Sometimes when I dig my bare feet between your foot and the riverbank I know sanity. Other times there is just too much. ‘Give me peace!’ you say. And I answer that I don’t have time to play this game. The weather is warming up and summer will be here soon.