My Blog

My Sun....

Joshua — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 02:27:24 GMT

Sun = vitality, sense of individuality, outward creative energy Sun is our conscious mind, our will to live, our creative life force. its our ego, so it censors us. The position of the sun by zodiac represents the life purpose and style in which we leave our mark in the world. The sun by house is where our personality shines. so here it is.... Sun = Sagittarius you're restless, cheerful, and friendly. Generally on the go. You have a love of freedom and dislike routine. you're generally easygoing but you’re a fire sign which means you're generally quick tempered. But you forget about it as quickly as you became angry. so your temper is short lived. Make friends with people from all walks of life. Love to laugh and tease. Get along well with both sexes. You often have a blind faith in people and the world. Your optimism is infectious, but can get you into trouble. you are a curious person who loves to learn new things. you have an idealistic nature. Your need for escape is generally strong and you come across as irresponsible. You’re easily forgiven because of your directness and honest approach to life. A negative: you are too adventurous and leave things to chance. you take risks which can cause problems. Rebellious. Sometimes tactless when offering opinions. Sun in XII house [XII house not a good place for the Sun. its complicated to interpret. Not to mention hard to live with. This house’s energy attempts to dissolve the ego boundaries set by the sun. the sun is personal but this house is universal (collective)] Tendency to be introspective and need some space and seclusion in order to pull up your strength. May avoid the spotlight but if you find yourself in a public role you will hide your true self behind a role. Becuz your will is directed inwards, you need to find a path for yourself that allows you to get away from it all at least some of the time. you need to honor your need to be alone with yourself, but avoid over identifying with your inner world to the point that you truly feel alone in a crowd. You shine when you sense you’ve served others in some way. Your compassion sets you apart from others, but you need to learn to work with it rather than let it work against you. Saturn in opposition to your sun [Saturn associated with restriction & limitation. It constricts. Reminds us of our boundaries, responsibilities & commitments. The position of Saturn by a sign & house reveals our own limitations, fears & sense of responsibility. Saturn will alter the characteristics.] You faced a few challenges in your life especially in the first ½ in which your attempts to express your will were often thwarted. You have the feeling that you don’t get what you want in comparison to others. You feel unlucky at times. You try to control your environment & sometimes others. You want to be considered an accomplished and important person but when you face obstacles you don’t realize you’re your worst enemy. A conflict is that you may want to be considered important in the eyes of the world but you fear success at the same time. You take failures and minor setbacks to heart and might beat yourself up for them. When you ease the pressure you put on yourself you’ll find that you don’t face as many brick walls. Deep inside you, if you tell yourself that you deserve happiness and peace of mind, you will find it. When you express egotism of any kind you feel guilty. The sun rules our conscious mind. It’s the “adult” in us. Saturn is like a “parent”. So your struggle is from within you. You set standards for yourself that are too high, hence the reason for running into brick walls. Sun sextile uranus [Uranus is forward-looking. Balks at tradition. Celebrates originality and individuality. [positive position] You question tradition, becuz you’re an individualist. You rebel against what is established, but you don’t constantly break rules though you do question them. You don’t like routine. you're an independent worker in the sense that you work better when you are able to establish your own pace. You have a lot of self integrity. You avoid labeling people and are offended when others try to label or stereotype you. You embrace new ways of doing things. You stick up for the underdog. You express yourself in unique and inspiring ways. You are original, creative and progressive without trying, but don’t want to stand out as unique. You’re not pretentious. You value honesty and truth. Your life is interesting because you invite unusual or adventurous experiences into your life. Your appreciated by others because you’re open minded, fair and non-judgmental. You believe in equality. You can relate to people from all walks of life.

Die to be Born

Joshua — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 06:09:50 GMT

Blinded, dazed and ever lost, was I so thought to be. By blazing lights of dawning days, so now I see. Travel far and journey long on dusty roads I walk, until at last I am here with thee. I stand upon the threshold wrapped in darkness, shrouded not in fear. I listen to the whispers, I wait for what I hear. Wind so softly, caressing me all around, my ears are filled with secrets of some lonely sound, my soul is coming, soon it will be found. Blanket me not with silence or ever will I roam, the gypsy always searching for what will be his home. I reach the edge of fires burning blazing light, the comfort from the coldness in the still of night. Dancing wild, passions heated breath, to venture forward I must embrace this death....

A Neon World: Epic fall and recovery in colour

Joshua — Sun, 24 Jun 2007 05:56:28 GMT

How was it then that I awoke to find that I had wholly vanished al together? In some mystic change amid some sleepy and inattentive stillness. A melancholy dream within a dream. I wandered in a trance baffled in my pursuit of yesterday's delight and dear was the memory. Then sadness fell...I gazed bewildered as gloom crept softly. An uncertain absence shrouds the mind and forsaken was the world left behind. A breath of fright stirred in the shadowed light, trembling cold and ghastly fears. Before me appears some form...a haunting specter... ohh... shifting, fleeting, weak and weary, dark and dreary, sways to and fro, it's vaporous form, it spoke... hollowed, lost and wavering; oppressive demands upon my soul... it howled. "Darkness comes the cry, wild with all despair..." we clashed in the dark of night. Now scornful, hissing, hollow roar... straining, entangled... scraping and creeping hither, our battle ensued as the torrents roared below and see the dark lowers where haunted the mournful numbers marched. With a fiery clash we fell amid the hopeless dead upon the murky ground. My thirst for vengeance seething, I feared the fury of my savage race, but again I met my foe with scorn and promised it with agony of strife. Then I felt it coming... and ever increasing courage that ripples through. I surged forth and stripped it of pride, and now withering on the ground with utmost despair, it sank back past the dark lowers. Silence stills the rapid mind and in this dreadful deep, a voice fell thundering from the heights... "in pathless space we often wander enthralled within fearful worlds, amidst the slumberest dead in silent solitude." Still dizzied with the sleep of the dead, is in this darkn'd underneath murky with obscurity, I lapsed back with all regret... battered, broked, bruised and torn... dismayed, sullen and astray, I sobbed sorrowfully with sad regard and distraught with the sharp distress of my dreadful past. And still the numbers marched ashamed of the light they lay beneath me weeping, forsaken, gaunt and dusty grey... in sleepy slumbers, drenched in earthly woe. And hanging in this heavy air lay the endless moans and the putrid laughter of the imps frothed in cruel mockery. In my unbecoming my inner-spirit sings the lamentation of my doleful song. A renewed desire to ascend to celestial heights above and to that light I search the trail, far-sought was I. From out of my darkest hour they came, prancing, dancing enchanted lights they frolic. Star-shinned and blind I stumbled on. Slumberest still and just below the grave I struggled for the way out. Forlorn within this grave, I reconciled to leave this blinded daze and forced my way up through the ground. So in the underneath my dreadful past will parish, love come back asail upon the air. I arose from the sleep of the dead amongst the flowers far-surrounding. The dream that throbs in my memory still when my soul flew over this dark world, had ripened and now fades. My ear is touched by wonderful melodies, my doleful song passes I heard the angels sing. Silently, almost invisibly, a traveler came by, adorn with an airy dalliance to my vagrancy and avoid of outtergloom he stood above me with a faithful smile. Odd familiarity... he was but the same who struggled up from the grave : Me : yet not the same who toiled so... beneath. How many have I been? An ancient tale he told with crescendoing voice blending in choric insanity wild with his wonders. Far-folded, ever-silently those who sought ancient founts of inspiration by seeking narrow pathways days far off in to the neon world. Theres a secret place that no one knows, a secret garden where no one goes bathed in color bright. I bound up with vigor and voiced to him my longing, he laughed with a silvery tone that set me in a dreamful ease absent of my strife. A mystery far-surrounding, the ripening of dazzle that flourishes past my sight. Beauteous floweret with which he points the way and over there down the pathway glitt'ring with golden flakes upon the ground. With a valent awakening we walked : I and Me :, now interposed within we merge as one, the moment in time, my former self dissolving. Upon the path my unairing footsteps fell with soft chimes... years approaching the gate... emotions throb... my senses... pleasing aromas winding and dancing upon the mellow breeze... sweetgrass, sage and shalimar, the shamans chant, the color illuminates in regal splendor beyond. I'm stepping through bound in bonds of black and white the world left behind me. Soaked in neon I gazed with all inspiration before me. My passionate soul awakens... breath deep... my heartfelt joy overwhelming to the utmost pinnacle and plumes into shapeless form, gleaming, my distant footsteps echoed. "Welcome to the neon world my secret garden's delight now bathed in colour bright."