The Two Eyes of GodWed, September 5, 2012 - 3:13 AM
I "feel" two parent forces to humans. My brain comes up with all sorts of stories when i try to explain this feeling to myself, but i like to keep the ones i actually believe as close to raw symbol as possible... so my favorite is that we have a "spiritual father" and a "spiritual mother." To me, Mother feels to be the plane(t) itself. In a very real way, we are made out of her. The Father feels to be a "seed from elsewhere" (everything points to "from the heavens".. whatever that means), that organizes the stuff we're made of into a Conscious Life-Form, and provides us with the will to exists, and to continue to exist, and to be hungry for bigger and better ways to exist.
Both of these appear to be necessary pre-requisites for existence, and i have another -- underlying -- feeling more difficult to explain. It says that "even these two forces are ultimately One, in a way you cannot yet perceive." As a way of acknowledging this feeling without truly understanding it, i call the "Mommy and Daddy" forces the Two Eyes of God. This way i can acknowledge the Two as Two, but still recognize them as One... that's my goal right now. "Transcend Duality;" see and understand One, without needing to break it down into parts.
All of my rants about evil are directly connected to this idea. I'm aware that the "parameters of existence" are different for different people, but in the culture i have the most experience in... ONLY ONE (IF EITHER) OF THESE TWO FORCES IS RECOGNIZED AS "GOD."
I think the "other half" is instinctually felt on the whole -- so it cannot be sincerely denied; but, because it doesn't fit into the accepted (warped and incomplete) image of "One God," it becomes an Opposing conception of a Powerful Enemy to this imagined "One God."
Since I first reached out to my parent Force(s), and first felt an response... my soul has wailed "THIS IS WRONG!! God HAS no enemies! What you condemn is ALSO of God." I feel, instinctually, that spiritual existence should be about collective and cooperative growth; but i've witnessed it be, instead, about unnecessary strife... an internal war agreed upon and externalized. What i've seen of established religion seems, to me, to be a centuries-old attempt to pluck out one of "God's Eyes."
What makes this situation even more miserable is that the Half of God, Existence, and Everything that is being condemned is PRECISELY THE HALF THAT IS READY AND WILLING TO BE SHAPED BY A HUMAN'S INBORN CAPACITY TO CREATE. It is the Great Mother, the Dark Womb that gestates and forms dreams into being. So the Womb answers, and spits out whatever twisted shapes its condemners choose to envision and conceive of.
We've done this to ourselves.
I, for One, am done with this Way of Doing.
|add a comment|
very cool you speak very clearly of very complex matters all of which are relevant to me pretty much - thanks
I think Cognitive Dissonance fucks with our heads a lot. I had to shit kick old Cognitive Dissonance to the ground myself just to get my head clear enough to fathom this stuff all of which is not left brain linear language intellect friendly (intellect friendly aka monstrous understatement, man) So that there are easily and truly two things at once, many things at once and even all things apart and together at once so you perceive true I think only trying to bring this back through the bottleneck of language is a bit of a chore, man
the mother father aspect is interesting to me as well and I have great and good experience with the mother aspect but you make me realize nada on the father aspect and my quiet voice within just said almost playing, "You Are!" So I guess because I am the father?
but in a mushroom trip out in the Gila Wilderness only a few weeks before my epic attack tripping on the forth day of backpacking so as centered then as I might ever be then, I met eternity a female goddess and saw "Source" which looked like an enormous fire in loose shape of a cylinder with tiny bits of flame both coming off of it and kind of strangely to me also going into it? The pieces of fire or blinding white light coming off of it made me think of a fire putting out sparks
Then it head me that is the godhead, the source. The lights are souls being born somewhere going out from it and the dead souls in their light bodies going back into it. Awe and beauty as I hovered in space with someone else who only recently I realize is very most likely my grandmother angel and I think: If I go in there, man - won't be coming back to this part of the stream ?
When I came back to proper consciousness my forehead in the dirt having pitched foreward forehead muddy from tears flowing as I come to full consciousness now back here on the earth with the Giaian Mother often close to me in these experiences saying to me, "O honey, I am not your mother like you think I am. You have no mother. You have no father. Energy neither created nor destroyed. I am sobbing very hard and glade that I am literally alone in the wilderness not as always just alone but here where there is no one to feel bad for me because I do not feel bad for my only very hurtful because I thought that SHE was the mother of me.
As if to console me, just before coming fully back awake, as it were, she says hopefully, "I am the mother of your body, David - if that is any consolation"?