My Blog

Finally out of state

Lynn — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 05:34:20 GMT

It took 3 weeks to drive the coast of California and I'm now in southern Oregon. God the coast is gorgeous. I loved being able to take as much time as I want, drive as slow as feasible (constantly letting others by, of course), stop whenever I felt like it. I think I started off in a Costco parking lot during my first week. The second week a Ranger invited me to stay in the Fort Ross Day Use Park overnight as a fire had jumped Highway One further north. Weird to be so alone and so out in the open. Plato kept hearing animals and didn't get much sleep that night. Plato is my now 9 month old 9 pound adorably soft and cuddly male Shih Tzu. He couldn't be a better travel companion. I've often made coffee before Plato feels like getting out of bed. And tonight he literally talked me into taking him out for a run on the beach at the bottom of the cliffs. So glad I did as he's now curled up in the corner hiding his eyes waiting til I'm ready to go to sleep. Costello said he thinks Plato is the relationship I've been looking for all this time. He may be right. I love not having to apologize or even wonder if I'm being too loving or too lazy or too busy or too silly. He's even slept in the seat next to me at the movies a couple times. My trip so far has been about finding great places to camp and great mexican restaurants. I extended at this state camp in Brookings, OR, because it's only $18 for full hookups, an ocean view, and a one mile path to tostadas. I even biked it in the rain the first day with Plato in the basket. Can't say he was thrilled but he'd prefer that then being left alone. Leaving tomorrow for Port Orford but really looking forward to Licorice ice cream at the Tillamook Cheese Factory before crossing into Washington state. Had a fantastic visit in Berkeley with Costello. I'm so happy we've let our love and friendship continue to grow while we support each others current lifestyles. His main squeeze seems a very good choice and I appreciate that Anne adores him as much as I do. It was such a great surprise to see so many "old" friends and burners at a camp out Costello and Anne invited me to. What a great way to start off this trip. Since I haven't been blogging much, I should probably mention that Plato and I are headed to Alaska to spend 6-7 months exploring British Columbia, the Yukon, and most of the driveable parts of Alaska except for the Arctic. My housemate's lease is up November 1 so I'm planning on being back in San Diego by then but who knows what will happen. This trip is happening with some research and a lot of intuition and instinct. So far so good.

Long time, no Tribe

Lynn — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 06:44:40 GMT

Not sure why I stopped blogging. Could blame it on Plato, who is now over 8 months old and just the best pup I could ever imagine. He's still puppy cute, very chill yet loves long walks, completely housebroken and very well trained and behaved. He's got some adorable bad habits which I accommodate (stealing napkins and toilet paper out of my hands). I've taught him to Leave It and High Five as well as heel and come of course. He doesn't retrieve well - he gets it OK but then wants to keep it to himself. He's a terrific companion and I am looking forward to our 7 month trip in the RV heading to Alaska soon. Great housemate in place to watch the house.

Having a lovefest with Plato

Lynn — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 09:52:15 GMT

Wow. Long time no blog. My life is fully of puppy. When I returned from Virginia in late August I called my friend's Shih Tzu breeder and put a deposit on a 7 week old named Plato (pictured). I visited him several times before flying to Denver to attend The Intensive with The Lady and the Miracle of Love Retreat with Kalindi. Both were fabulous. Saw lots of friends I hadn't seen for 15 years and had some very deep meditations that opened up my heart and cleared my mind. Some of the Germans attending remembered that they stayed in my house on Palmyra when they flew to San Diego to first participate in the Miracle of Love Intensive in the 90's. Good memories. Honestly I don't remember what my life was like before having Plato. Of course, because he's just a (now 17 week old) pup he requires lots of attention. There's looking out for all the potty signals but he's about 80 percent going "on command" now which I think is pretty damn good. We learned in Puppy Kindergarten that when he has an "accident" I should roll up some newspaper and hit myself in the head with it. Right on. I am determined to have a trained (hopefully not neurotically so) dog. First day home on 9/27 he learned to heel and just tonight I took him off leash on the beach and he stuck right by my side even when people walked by. That's amazing to me. In much younger days I had Irish Setters and white German Shepherds that would run away at any opportunity, which I took quite personally of course. This little guy is just as cute as when he was younger and SO SOFT! We start off his daily grooming session with a tummy massage while he lays on his back and almost goes to sleep. Then I brush his teeth (yup, unbelievable), and BabyWipe his ears out and wipe the sleepy seeds and tears from his eyes, and comb every inch of his thick soft hair. Which would get 10 inches long if I let it. We'll see when it gets too unmanageable to comb or trim before he goes to the groomers for a puppy cut. And he lets me trim his nails. He definitely has his own mind about things. I love to see him go through his toy box to decide which toy to play with. He LOVES his little squeaky toys and I've even seen him comparing their squeak by squeaking first one then the other. It is amazing how much joy this little guy has added to my life. And I take him everywhere but the movies. He sleeps through my mexican tostada lunches but loves prancing through Home Depot and making tough looking guys grin. His favorite is when girls squeal about how cute he is. Our only problem is separation anxiety, which I'm convinced is sourced by moi. Never thought I'd be such a good puppy mom. But there's nothing like seeing your little one happy. And he's happy A LOT!

Enjoying the Fun Puppy Ride

Lynn — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 06:11:07 GMT

I woke up early this morning very happy that I had made the decision to pick up LoverBoy and buy him knowing that I could return him within 48 hours and it would cost me "only" $150. I called my sister to see if she would walk with me (she said yes as she was getting off the treadmill!). I got more excited as the morning progressed, really letting my excitement flow thru. After walking, I called to make sure LoverBoy had not been purchased and after being on hold forever, I was told they'd moved him to another pet store but my wonderful sister said she still go with me even though she had work to do. We went to our fav mexican restaurant, Anitas, and I had borrowed Gail's cat carrier to take to the pet store. When I walked into the store, LoverBoy was in a display up front with his cagemate from the other store. Lover was in a chewy mood and started gnawing on my fingers. When I picked him up he wagged his tail but was very preoccupied with being playful so we didn't have the same connection we'd hard the earlier times I'd visited. So I was disappointed and thrown back into confusion and doubt. Melinda, a good friend who has an adorable Shih Tzu in San Diego, suggested I visit with another Shih Tzu to see if my love was for the breed or for that dog, which ended up being an excellent suggestion. I was surprised to find myself liking LoverBoy's play mate (pictured above) because he was so much cuter and smaller and more interested in me then LoverBoy. Yeah, I'm that fickle. So I picked up LoverBoy and told him that he was going to have to give me a sign to let me know he wanted to go home with me. I suggested he lick my nose but probably any affectionate gesture would have done the trick. But he didn't do anything to make my heart explode like last time and since I started liking the other one just as much I realized that Melinda must be right - it is the breed I like because they're all little fluffballs of love and cuteness. I bought a book and video about Shih Tzus and walked out of there very happy and relieved that I would not have to go through all the stress of spending more money then I needed to get a Shih Tzu and making the arrangements to get him home with me. What a fun ride!! I not only thanked my sister and friends for supporting and guiding and accepting me through this week long process, I appreciated myself as well. It's so important to me to live out of my heart as much as possible that I honor actions that support that. I let myself be tempted by going into the pet store. I let the love explode through me for this adorable puppy. I let myself be pretty consumed with the notion of getting him home. I talked with friends and invited their honest opinions. I listened to the reasonableness surrounding why I shouldn't buy him. I decided to go with my heart but I kept my mind open and stayed present when I had to make the choice of buying this particular dog. And my heart guided me to not do it, which is why I was so happy and relieved afterward. I will talk to my friend's breeder and probably put myself on her 6-month waiting list to get a Shih Tzu. Living in the now is what really worked to have this process go so well.

INCURABLE CASE OF PUPPY LOVE

Lynn — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 03:37:50 GMT

I'm visiting my sister in Virginia so I go in to see the puppies next door while she's having her nails done. A little Terrier catches my eye but is pretty rambunctious, then a mix of something is cute but heavy. The tiny white Maltese is pretty sweet so I hold her a while. I pick up my sister and somehow convince her to come back to the pet store with me (her 16 year old cocker died recently so she has pretty strong resolve not to give up her freedom at this point). The clerk I've been talking wth now tells me about a Shih Tzu in the back that's not ready to be out front yet and goes to get him. This adorable mostly white with some interesting color ball of soft fluff comes out in her arms and gravitates to me like fly on shit as my dad used to say. All the while I'm talking to the clerk, this 12-week old puppy is stretched out on my left shoulder and wagging his soft tail. At this point I'm liking both dogs equally wondering how the Maltese and Shih Tzu breeds compare as companions. My sister and I walk out and continue our day but I cannot help thinking about the fluffball Shih Tzu. A lot. Many times. I don't really want to buy a dog, especially one that costs $1699 so I mix the practical in with the lusting and my feet stay on the ground about having a dog. I mention it to my sister and remind her I have no problem loving something I cannot have. I wouldn't want to NOT love it, just because of that, would I?? The next day I go out to buy picture frames but make a bee line for the pet store, just to stop in and get some puppy love. This time I just want to see the Shih Tzu, who is out with another darker colored one. The one I like is more white. A male with a slight overbite (for $1699!!!) and he's neutered and ready to go. So I hold him and talk with the clerk a lot more seriously about the breed. I put him down to see what he does. He's calm but curious. The perfect mix of liveliness for my tastes. He loves being held and snuggled. So I start falling in love. You know puppy love. It's not really love is it? It's lust or something else, right? Not the lasting kind of love that's going to stick? But goddamn it still feels great. My heart is bursting. I'm smiling. But I'm fine with falling in love. I'm not attached. I let it flow through me. All is good in the world. And I keep thinking about this puppy. I wonder if I should buy him? How would I get him home to San Diego from VA? I'm not really serious but I kind of like challenges like this so it's fun to think about. Today I find myself in the car again making a bee line to the pet store. This time, however, I'm going there to break it off. To let this puppy know that despite how adorable he is, I have enough good sense to not spend $2000 I don't have to buy him and fly him home with me next week. What would I do with him when I'm in the MIracle of Love Intensive next month after all? Just going in to get my last dose of puppy love before going to my high school reunion events this weekend. There's a new clerk and she's as helpful as the other one and lets me hold the puppy and put him down and put him on the counter and people in the store are saying how happy the dog seems with me (he is wagging his tail ALL the time). And how paying $100 to get him home is nothing of the span of a dog's lifetime. So I'm turning into a pile of gush right there on the store floor because of a white ball of fluff. But I don't want a dog. My best friends and family all remind me of this fact. And I don't want to give up my precious freedom for the next 12-15 years (until I'm 70 when I pay off the loan on my Winnie - that's when I'll really be free!). I'll have to give up movie sneaker days so that I can be home to let the dog out every 2-3 hours?!?!? ME?!?!?!?! I don't think so. I hate schedules and anything I must do or the world will fall apart. So my heart is breaking open and I'm smart enough to leave the store to research more and talk with my friends and make this very important decision in an entirely logical and sensible way. But that's so not how I like to live my life. I love impulse decisions. They've resulted in some of the best experiences of my life. And is it so impulsive if you've been thinking about it for four days? For some yes, for me not so much. A lot of my big decisions I've almost, like buying houses, I've almost had to do impulsively, after researching or shopping a lot, true, but if you don't act quickly when you see a great house it's likely not to be available long (in previous markets anyhow). So I have tons of reasons not to buy this puppy. And I will sleep on it tonight and see how I feel tomorrow. Isn't that the logical thing to do? BTW, did I mention I've named him Loverboy? I'll probably call him Lover for short. That's IF I buy him. The question is - do I want to want a puppy or do I want to have a dog?

Watching the Olympics from the East

Lynn — Sun, 10 Aug 2008 04:50:16 GMT

I'm on the east coast for a couple weeks, attending my 40th high school reunion in Maryland and visiting my sister and family in Virginia, plus a few old friends from when I lived here. My retired life in San Diego is pretty relaxed but staying at my sister's feels like a luxury vacation. The DC area weather is unseasonably mild this week with mid-80's highs and mid-60's lows. I'm missing my daddy and my sister's cocker spaniel, as both passed on since my last visit. Both my parents are now buried (separately) at Arlington National Cemetery. Since I stopped getting cable in May I haven't watched TV, but my timing could not be better as the Olympics started the day after I arrived and it's one event I really enjoy watching. Course they never have much equestrian coverage, which is my favorite, but I like learning about the host country (even China, who is not even on my travel list) and watching athletes surprise themselves. I thought the Opening Ceremonies last night were awesome! The management of getting that many people (2,000 at a time) to do complex actions in synch is mind boggling. It's also interesting to continue watching what I eat when I'm back in familyland. Thankfully my sister has also recently lost a lot of weight so we are splitting meals and walking to offset some of the high calorie foods we are prone to have when together. Like Outback's Bloomin Onion. I've already found one mexican restaurant that has my diet staple - bean mini-Tostadas - so I should be at my goal of 140-142 at my reunion. And I love all the new Medium size 10 clothes I've picked up at thrift stores so feel motivated to maintain under 145.

I love being a movie addict!

Lynn — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 07:04:39 GMT

God do I love watching movies. Mostly I like to go to theatres and eat lots of heavily salted and buttered popcorn and drink a large diet coke. o But the big screen is so captivating. And I admit to being a sneaker. Today I saw The Dark Knight and I have to agree with the hoopla - Heath Ledger did an outstanding job and probably deserves a Best Actor nomination for this role. It is too bad that he's not alive to receive all his accolades but whose to say he isn't somehow aware of them. Seeing the new X-files movie was a perfect follow on and I enjoyed seeing the ongoing and expanded relationship between Scully and Mulder. When I got home tonight, I watched Running With Scissors, which apparently was based on a very bizarre true story. Well acted movie. The author of the book was the main character and featured on the DVD. The Special Features are what has peaked my interest in DVDs. When I'm traveling I will miss being able to check out 10 videos each week from the library. But I have some DVDs to take with me that I haven't seen and I have a little 13 or 19" TV in the Winnie if I don't feel like watching on my laptop. I had an allergy patch taped on my back this morning to help find out what's triggering such constant eczema/itchy skin episodes (since November off and on). I can't take Benadryl or any antihistamine for a week which is going to be difficult. I've needed to take it once or twice a week recently to get through particularly reactivating nights. The patch comes off Thursday but my skin is likely to keep reacting for a week. It really didn't feel itchy until about an hour ago (11pm). So I'm using this time to FEEL the itch instead of trying to satisfy or disappear it. I loved it when my therapist reminded me I could spend these two days distracting myself as much as possible. I may go to the zoo tomorrow after doing some clothes selection for my trips. Most of today was spent emptying the Winnie of stuff I haven't ever used to try to lighten the load a bit, and continuing the endless job of cleaning playa dust out of the corners. I love it when I can travel with my soft green rugs and pretty fluffy color matched stuff. I admit I'm nervous about not being able to get to sleep (due to the itching). My tolerance for being physically uncomfortable is admittedly very very low.

Then and Now

Lynn — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 06:30:53 GMT

I was surprised at how difficult a decision it was for me to skip Burning Man this year. But I couldn't help noticing how much I was resisting and procrastinating getting the Winnie ready for the playa these last few weeks. And I was already not looking forward to cleaning it afterward. After enjoying my first day of Comic-Con last Thursday, I decided to stay home so I'd be ready for a full day again on Saturday. Friday morning I got a phone call from one of the many Miracle of Love roommates who lived in my house in Clairemont back in 1996. Two days earlier I heard from one of the German houseguests that did the Miracle of Love Intensive with me back in 1993 when it was based in San Diego, which stirred all sorts of wonderful memories. The first caller still lives in San Diego and doesn't participate anymore but the second caller followed the movement to Denver and said Kalindi wanted to bring those of us from the beginning years together for a retreat. Especially those who met and resonated with the Incarnation called Gourasana before he died, which I did. When I was a real estate broker back then, I found large houses for those leading and staffing the Miracle of Love Intensive to live together and got to know the community really well. I've always regreatted having lost touch with all the amazing houseguests (mostly German) that stayed in my house for months at a time back then. The retreat is happening in Denver the middle of September so I've decided to fly east for my 40th high school reunion in Maryland, then fly home to pick up the Winnie and drive to Colorado. It's a part of the country I haven't camped in and I know some of the country there is quite beautiful. Any ideas of things to see and do along the way are welcome and invited. I'm not sure what routes I'm taking yet. One the luxuries I indulge in these days is allowing myself to take as much time as I need to go through my decision process. Sometimes I watch where my feet go to see what I want to do. Today I watched as I began unloading the cuddle pool and shade structure that I'd hauled to Elysium. And when I got tired I stopped and read the rest of the Sunday paper. But I did notice I was no longer procrastinating. In fact I was looking forward to getting the Winnie back to her pristine traveling condition again. Where things have a place and a purpose, all in support of being on the road for a couple months or more. I also notice how the universe responds to my decisions. Within an hour of posting I sold my Burning Man ticket as well as my Poly Paradise space (for cost). And got an email saying the retreat would be reduced for us "old timers". Life sure feels good when you're riding the horse in the direction it's going.

Elysium was awesome!

Lynn — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 06:58:01 GMT

Shane and Amaya's magical wedding on Saturday was so moving and I had a great time officiating. Amaya's wedding gown was stunning and designed and handmade by her sister, Katherine. Her father is with her above. I felt very honored to be a part of their ceremony. The La Jolla Indian Reservation is beautiful and only an hour away from San Diego. Elysium was one of the best burner-type events I've gone to since coming to the best er west coast. Finally starting to feel a part of the community here. Funny that it's taken almost two years.

Officiating my first wedding this Saturday!

Lynn — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 08:09:55 GMT

I'm so glad I decided to stay in town to officiate Shane and Amaya's wedding at Elysium this Saturday! They have made it really fun to be involved in the details of their ceremony, which is taking place at the same spot on the river where they met a year ago. Amaya's parents are really nice and her father put together a beautiful vase of colorful cut flowers for me today. Amaya's sister, Katherine, designed and produced Amaya's stunning wedding gown and I've never seen such a beautiful piece of art in the form of a dress. And the way it looks on Amaya's sleek form is breathtaking. And that was just from the sneak peek I got. I hope to get some pictures posted next week. Shane is wearing something equally fitting, though I have not seen it on him yet. I'll be meeting Shane's family Thursday. The bride herself made the adorable earthy green short sun dress I will be wearing to officiate. It is glittered with small butterflies all over the tie-dyed shear fabric that covers a modesty slip that's a really pretty shade. The groomsmen will be wearing pants made by Amaya that match the underslip of my dress and the 5 bridesmaids and Maid of Honor have dresses that also coordinate with my dress. I can't recall ever seeing the one performing a marriage ceremony so included in the wedding party and I'm thrilled to have this experience as my first. I'm so glad Amaya and Shane mentioned they wanted to live in Pacific Beach and moved in last January. They have been the best roomies I could ever imagine having and I love that we've become good friends as well. Elysium has sold out at 400, not counting the 30 or so family members that are just coming for the daytime ceremony Saturday. This will be my first time at Elysium, which is held on the La Jolla Indian Reservation in Pauma Valley, about 2 hours NW of San Diego. Tall oak trees for shade, hot showers, flushing toilets, cool streams running through the campground - sounds like paradise to me! I love living in California! Not only is the state honoring same-sex marriages now, they will accept fully that the Universal Life Church deemed me a minister able to legally perform marriages. The state only requires that I be approved of by the bride and groom. I received my designation via the Internet at no cost for life! Anyone else want to get married? Have certificate will travel.

Werner Erhard's still Got It!

Lynn — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 07:56:35 GMT

John Denver did it. So did Cloris Leachman, Diana Ross and even Dr. Phil, Yoko Ono, and Jeff Bridges. Yup, they all did the est training back in the 70's and 80's. Valerie Harper acknowledged Werner Erhard publicy when she received an Emmy for Rhoda in 1975 after taking est. When I took the est training in DC at age 29 in May 1980, I got the good news and bad news that I was the only one responsible for how my life was going to go. The est training was the very first of many things I've done that made a profound impact on my life's direction. I learned about impeccability at the est Six Day in NY in 1984 and met my 2nd husband when assisting at his est training. He basically moved in after our first date and we got married three years later. We both fell in love with San Diego and decided to move there in a year, which would be fall 1986. I left NEA, we sold our house in Virginia, and then got the shocking news that he wanted a divorce. One of the first and smartest things I did in San Diego, in late 1986, was enroll in an est seminar so I could meet like-minded people. That seminar is where I met some of the closest friends I have to this day, including my best friend Bridget, _Greg, and Nancy and Derek Casady. Soon after, Werner Erhard led a huge satellite event and introduced Possibility as a new distinction. I remember going home to our Pacific Beach apartment and talking with my future ex-husband about exploring the Possibility of our creating a post-divorce relationship that was loving and respectful. And we did. I credit Werner with my ability and willingness to "mine for the gold" when listening and to examine devastating and challenging situations for the Possibility that they offer. Just today, 28 years later, I sprained my ankle as I stepped out of the car and was able to talk myself through a reframing of my perspective and story so quickly I'd forgotten all about it by the time I'd walked 5 blocks to the Library. I'm not saying I am successful at doing that with everything every day by any means, but when I can do it I am aware of the source of those powerful distinctions. All these memories have been stirred because I just watched the newly-released DVD entitled "Transformation: The Life and Legacy of Werner Erhard." It has lots of wonderful clips of early est when Werner was extremely handsome and charismatic while being ruthlessly intrusive. Werner participated in the making of this DVD and talks about what he's up to these days. Several people were interviewed, including family members he deserted in his early 20's. There's good coverage about how the accusations made on the 60 Minutes episode in 1991 were cleared and why he continues to live outside the United States. I am happy to share the DVD with anyone interested. Werner really is one of the many unsung heroes of our time, in my opinion, and I'm glad to see he's still out there sourcing transormation in a world that can sometimes be pretty resistant to change (maybe it's time I change that story as well). DVD available from: www.wernererhard.com Info on The Forum is at www.landmarkeducation.com If you need my contact info, please Reply and let me know.

What do you think of Ranger Fickle?

Lynn — Sat, 31 May 2008 03:00:57 GMT

I've been trying to find a Ranger name that fits for years so it seems only fitting that Ranger Fickle may be the one that fits. So I'm asking for feedback on whether you think that name fits. When I Rangered at Playa del Fuego, the Mid-Atlantic Regional burn, I was called Naked Ranger, though I was required to be clothed when on duty. On the west coast, I started calling myself Ranger Moop because it seemed what I was mostly doing while Rangering was picking up MOOP (Matter Out Of Place to you non-burners) to support our Leave No Trace policy at festivals. If I ever want to Ranger on the playa at Burning Man, I will need a two-syllable Ranger name as one-syllable names cause problems when used on the two-way radios. I like to think I'm open to other suggestions as well but mostly want to know what folks think of Ranger Fickle. The playa name most like to call me is DCLynn, because that's my email address. But Ranger DCLynn is too much of a mouthful in my opinion. Thanks.

The Smile before the Sting

Lynn — Thu, 29 May 2008 10:57:26 GMT

I've lost over 20 pounds since moving to San Diego 18 months ago and have been hovering around 145 for a month. I'd love to lose 5-10 more but I don't want my weight to be a constant and forever struggle so am finding myself pretty happy at this weight. I've given away all my Large size clothes and bought a bunch of Mediums at Goodwill. And picked up a couple of Chico's Size 1Travelers pants on sale. Chico's is the only non-thrift clothing store I ever go to. I did a bunch of filing and started going through and organizing some of my paper mountains. This gave me a bunch of energy. I fit into a favorite pair of size 10 slacks I'd saved from before and had a fun new top to wear to the concert so I asked my roomie Amaya to take my picture. I felt like I looked the best I've looked in a long time, definitely concert worthy. To see how the picture actually looks is a bit disappointing, but given that I never did learn how to pose properly to get that flattering profile, I was happy to see my smile so bright. Before the concert on Monday, I went to Tierrasanta to visit with some good friends I've known for over 20 years and it was hard to leave. I knew I was going to miss out on good food and good conversation. But I'd bought my ticket to see Sting months ago and I had high expectations (oops--that's the first clue that disappointment was soon to follow). I'm sitting here wanting to say something positive about spending $90 for the seat, $25 more for ticket fees, $25 for parking (don't ask), $10 for lousy binoculars cause I forgot mine in the car and there was a no reentry policy, plus the gas down to Chula Vista in my premium gas Roadster. I didn't mind the traffic getting to the Cricket Wireless (formerly Coors) Amphitheatre as it was a beautiful day and I had the top down and the Chula Vista police were friendly and kept 19,000 attendees moving along rather well. At 7:40 Elvis Costello opened as I was wolfing down a hot dog loaded with jalepenos and ketchup. I'm not familiar with his music and it doesn't resonate with me that much. After a 20-30 minute break, Sting showed up with a full growth of gray beard. He sang some of the old favorites and I was on my feet dancing the whole time which was fun. He looked very relaxed and didn't seem put off that over half the crowd stayed in their seats the entire time like they were attending a Sade concert or something (no judgment there of course). At 10pm on the nose they were done! While everyone was doing the traditional scream and clap encore routine for 10 minutes until the 3 Police returned, I decided to take advantage of my premo parking space 150' from the entrance and join the other 3,000 by leaving then and avoided the entire post-concert traffic snarl. As I left, I heard the familiar beginning sounds of ROXanne. Not sure how much longer they played but I was surprised that my $150 bought barely over an hour's worth of Sting's presence. I am glad I got to see him in the flesh. Sting is one of those larger then life people for me as I admire his talent, love to sing his songs, and he seems to be a nice person when I've seen him interviewed, etc. In hindsight, I'm not sure who was lacking more enthusiasm, Sting or San Diego.

Groovin in San Diego again

Lynn — Sun, 18 May 2008 04:14:06 GMT

I feel like I'm back in the groove of San Diego again. Although I wanted and clearly chose to come home early from my travels to be on the first episode of Heroes' next season, I was immediately missing being on the road. I even took my Winnie up to Los Angeles and explored some of the area. Had a great walk in the Santa Monica Mountains near Malibu. Boondocked in Newport Beach and went for a bike ride along a wonderful bay side trail there in the morning. And hung out and caught up with _Greg, et al, in Escondido for a couple days. I've really been enjoying seeing more of my BF Bridget since I've been back. And walking her a few times a week has helped to renew my motivation to keep losing weight. Once I broke my good habits in Las Vegas by having wine and mixed drinks and full breakfasts and eating larger portions, it was a bit of a struggle to get back on track by noticing when I was full and stopping eating. Given how well I did at two (soon to be three) parties today, I think I'm over the hump. I even got a bean tostada in between parties so I wouldn't be tempted to over eat at the pool party (only had a couple choc chip cookies and no booze). The next party will be more difficult to not drink at because I'm not sure who's going to be there and how comfortable I'll feel - great excuse to numb out er get more relaxed, don't you think? Had some nice conversations at the earlier vegan potluck at Marge and Keith's. I brought some fresh fruit and ate some of the salads but was pretty hungry when I left at 3pm. Gave myself a lot of space to "chill" at the pool party watching the volleyball game while on a floater and not talking to anyone. But when that game was over I (forced myself to) got out of the water and met some newbies and tried to catch up with folks I've chatted up before. Then I participated in the Chicken Fights and Find the Rubber Ducky (except it was a couple of balls that a bunch of peeps try to find with their eyes closed). Now I'm home psyching myself up to go out again. It's a saint/sinner party and since I have a red dress and no white I'm a declared sinner. Wonder if anyone will actually wear white, since I think it's still uncool to be a saint but I'm not totally sure about this. Not feeling like I really fit the bill of a sinner these days. I turned down an offer to fool around recently because the guy smoked. Well that's probably not the total reason I declined, but if a guy smokes cigarettes it's just so unappealling I don't even want to have an open mind to him. Of course, sometiimes if he's very very very (young and) cute I like to make an exception temporarily. Anyway, I digress. I was surprised that being home was such a difficult transition (for a short time anyway). My roomies are great, I have the hot tub and my house to enjoy. And my fun little car, which needed a new battery and radiator (ugh). But I'm really missing traveling in the Pacific Northwest and feel like this is such a good time to do it since I have such great people to take care of my house while I'm gone. I feel like a spoiled child with too many toys to choose to play with. Such a wonderful problem to have, eh? I'm definitely staying until the Sting concert on 5/26 but I really need to relook at my commitments after that. If I cancel my ticket to Comic Con in July soon I can break even on that I think. Not sure why I even bought a ticket except that reading about all the cool costumed people and celebrities that showed up made me think I'd like to go. I have been thinking about going to SOAK in Oregon again. For all the wrong reasons but that wouldn't stop me. The guy I crushed on last year at Burning Man lives there but I've only heard once from him briefly. I bet my therapist would be good at helping me to sort out some of this stuff. I haven't seen her since February when she suggested I buy some Medicine Cards, which I thought was a strange/awesome thing for a therapist to suggest. Well I think I'm in the right headspace for party #3 today. Lots of socializing for this loner today.

Freaky windy in Indio

Lynn — Thu, 01 May 2008 00:23:46 GMT

After giving the Winnie a good shower and rub down this morning, which was really comical on a windy day, I soaked in one of the 3 mineral spring hot tubs at the RV resort before taking my shower. I then had a bean tostada for the 3rd day in a row at South of the Border on Palm Drive in Desert Hot Springs. Driving just a couple miles south toward Interstate 10 was scary. I'm guessing the winds are 20-30mph gusting to 40-50 but whatever they are when they hit the side of my 26' long, 12' high motorhome it's very disorienting. I feel as though the wind could push me into the next lane so am always on the outlook for what's ahead and what's behind me. Once I got on the Interstate, the wind was coming from behind which felt fine but knowing I would have it banging at my side if I headed for Ramona, I opted to check into the nearby campground I belong to in Indio. I'm lucky because it's closing for the season today but they let me stay overnight. It's a pretty park, lots of grass between the RV sites and good size trees scattered around with large flowering bushes to look at through the front cab. I look forward to coming back here when both RV parks reopen in October. I could not see if the forest fire that started yesterday (see Tuesday's blog) was still going or not but there was a lot of gray hanging against the mountain. Thanks to Bridget for alerting me to The Desert News wanting to run a story on my seeing the start of the fire. I've emailed the editor as requested but haven't heard back. The wicked winds have stayed up all day. I'm nestled in the Winnie reading about RVing in Alaska but the wind is constantly jostling me so it's a challenge to relax. I must have been swept up in a tornado in a previous life as heavy winds that last a while really unsettle me. What is delightful is the number of hummingbirds flying around. I have my big slider window open and they must be attracted to the big red pillow cause they keep checking it out. OK I admit it, after seeing the first one I puffed it up a bit so they'd be sure it see it through the open unscreened window. Is that a cruel thing to do? I'm assuming I'm going to have another night of frequent wakeups. Wish I hadn't tossed the rest of my Moscato down the drain yesterday. I'm finding it a struggle to get back into the habit of eating less and moving more after eating more and moving less in Las Vegas for a week. And extra alcohol calories are the easiest to give up.

I reported a forest fire in Palm Springs today

Lynn — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 06:04:24 GMT

I'm hanging out in the Desert Hot Springs area at one of my membership campgrounds for a few days and decided to check out the Aerial Tram in Palm Springs today. It's Awesome! And so easy to miss. It was 90 degrees and very windy in DHS so I was thrilled to have someplace else to go without driving too far. There are no roads to the top of the Tram, which means it's still a wilderness area. Great hiking around huge boulders and pine trees and snow patches and desert sand. A weird combination but it works. And the temp was a refreshing 60 degrees. While I was hiking, the winds came up but that just made it more enjoyable to be up there. Until... around 4:30pm, I climbed up past the Tram station to the highest point around there and SAW SMOKE on another mountain top, about 10 miles away. At first it looked like a cloud but when I looked through my binoculars I could see flames! I immediately went down to the Rangers who were not aware of the fire and, after confirming what I'd seen, radioed it a nearby ranger station. They thought it was just a dust storm so had ignored it but I loaned my binoculars to the Tram Rangers who confirmed they saw flames. An hour later I saw a plane fly over the smoke, then shortly after that a helicopter dumped some water. It looked like it missed the mountain entirely from my high vantage point, because the winds were gusting so high. And I never saw it return with more water. I was completely consumed with watching this forest fire until around 6:30 when I took the Tram down (from 8600' elevation) to the lower station at 2,000' elevation. Sometimes it looked like it self-contained itself, then a gust of wind would feed the flames and they looked like they were going to the other side. That's were they tried to dump the water. Before I left, the fire had made a huge leap down the side of the mountain toward Palm Springs. Not that I think the town was in danger at all. There were many desert mountains in between. I stopped for a salad at CA Pizza Kitchen and forgot about it for a while. By this time it was dark and when I got in the Winnie to drive back to Desert Hot Springs, I could see the fire on the side was raging. The flames on the top of the mountain were out. If anyone hears anything about this, please let me know if they were able to contain it as I have no TV access to news and couldn't get an update via radio. Ever since I attended my first Burning Man event, I have been captivated by the dance of fire. It's weird to find something so potentially destructive to be so beautiful.

Heroes called!

Lynn — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 09:12:08 GMT

I'm cutting my road trip short to head home as I got a call asking if I was available to be on the Heroes set on Monday, May 5. They're shooting Episode One of the next season. I'm assuming it's because I was in the cliff hanger scene of the final episode (where I was unintentionally teleported). Of the six shows I worked on last fall before the writer's strike, Heroes was the most fun. Peter, Nathan and Matt were in the final Press Conference scene and had so much fun goofing with each other and the background actors. Can you tell I'm excited?

Free help with accepting our/others humanity

Lynn — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 18:40:14 GMT

I just finished watching chapter 6 (Breaking Free) of Oprah and Eckhart Tolle's webcast of his book, A New Earth (www.oprah.com/anewearth). What an amazing free gift they are giving to anyone that is willing to take the time to watch. While watching something often doesn't feel participatory, I find that watching these webcasts gives me access to important distinctions and acceptance of so many aspects of our humanity that we are challenged by. Even those who are not into reading the book can get a lot from watching any of the webcasts. All the webcast chapters are posted on the Oprah's site and can be watched or downloaded to an IPD at any time. They invited those who had not read nor watched anything previously to watch Chapter 7's webcast called "Finding Who You Truly Are". While watching Oprah sometimes annoys me, I appreciate that she repeats a lot of what Eckhart says in a way that is easy to hear by more people. What they're discussing has given me so much inspiration to be more present and aware of this amazing life. And I'm not just talking about the RV or travel or retirement life I lead. I am appreciating the added dimension of my vision and other senses as I have sort of slowed down my energy or vibration in a way that is allowing me to live clearer and more acutely. This all sounds kind of weird as I write it because words are so limiting. I find I don't need to read while I eat breakfast as I have such a beautiful view to appreciate while I'm drinking my decaf or eating my half jalepeno/cheese bagel. I called Bridget this morning and asked if she could just "get" a communication so I could let it go. I discovered there's a trail near the RV park and I wanted to listen to Chapter 6 on my IPOD as I walked. I've looked everywhere and cannot find where I put my IPOD and it's the 2nd time I've "lost" it so I was angry and disappointed in myself for being so careless. The first time it was hidden for months then I found it as I was packing for this trip and put it in a very careful place. She is so great at hearing me and recreating what I said that the anger etc was gone by the time we hung a few minutes later. So I surrendered to watch Chapter 6 via video on my laptop and I enjoyed it so much more then had I tried to listen while walking. So great when the universe supports me in this way. Chapter 6 has a great take on true love vs ego love. And I loved it when Oprah acknowledged when her ego was trying to tell Steadman (her partner) how much more enlightened or aware then he she was. She is surprisingly transparent. And Eckhart got very tickled when telling (caller)Dave not to try to discuss his wife's painbody when her painbody is present as that's when things get thrown around. Like they were demonstrating Breaking Free as they shared how to do it. Thanks to all the people that have let me know they are reading the book I gave them and enjoying it. It's fun to be on this ride together with people I know and care about. (Costco has A New Earth for only $8)

Sedona the Beautiful

Lynn — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 05:51:03 GMT

I woke to a stream of sunlight knocking at my window at 6:30 this morning and when I pushed up the blinds I was gifted with a view of a majestic red rock cliff reflecting the bright morning sunrise. The sky is a unique color of clear blue here which makes the red stand out even more. This RV park is amazingly worth the $50/night it's costing. The front of my coach is facing a stream I cannot see and huge white -bark trees that don't yet have their leaves. The park is full of tall trees that let in floods of light - very unusual given the temp is 50 low and 75 high. My new RV friend Ann had a couple friends visiting today and asked me to join. After a yummy lunch filled with interesting getting-to-know-you talk we headed to Upper Red Rock Road and our first of two vortex visits of the day. The drive and park was gorgeous and we followed the path to a larger Oak Creek than the one bubbling by my temporary home. Several people were swimming in the very chilly water. Ann's sweet hearing dog, Curly Sue, is aged and holding them back a bit so I walked on ahead toward the enormous cliffs towering above. The scenery both high and low was beautiful. I turned a corner on the path and stopped dead in my tracks starring at the amazing...creation...ahead. The base was a huge smooth flat boulder bathing in the sunlight, about 12 feet across and 20 feet long. Someone had taken 5 rocks and stacked them on top of each other. (In the manner that people used to mark trails and tell followers of the direction they should take.) Then someone else took 8 rocks and stacked them upright. Then someone else took 4 rocks and stacked them in a similar manner only they put a very tiny tiny rock on the top. The next time someone put small rocks in a circle around their stack. On and on and on and on it went. I did not count but I can only guess there were 50-75 stacks of rocks on this one boulder ranging from one to two feet high or so. It was so striking that so many people would take the time to do this. I walked down the path some more into a large shaded area filled with beautiful multicolor rocks that looked like they had once been a creek bed as most of the rocks were smooth with round edges. This entire area had been filled with stacks of rocks, all varieties and shapes, some wide, some tall, some creating a bridge to another, some with BIG rocks, others with little tiny rocks but all following the general formation of one on top of the other. There was something so charming about it all. The message was so uniform yet so unique and individual at the same time it seemed to scream out - see we are all ONE! We're the same yet different - like YOU and YOU and YOU. I could not NOT participate in this game of life I had found on the path to find a vortex. So I took some rocks and added yet another stack. A bit further down, someone had created a big yin/yang symbol with rocks. I had been told that one of the girls channeled John Denver and it hit me that that was likely happening so I returned to join them and ask John some questions for myself. She relayed his responses quite swiftly in her own voice and none were very surprising but it was fun to sit in the sun on the rocks with my feet in the chilling water asking questions about what life is like after we drop this physical body. The two channels I am familiar with go into a trance and look and sound quite different then themselves when channeling but this woman simply relayed his responses, rather then taking on his persona. We were afterall in a very magical place. While I did not "feel" a specific energy shift that I could then call a vortex, I couldn't help but be in a heightened state of awareness with so much beauty to be present to. On the way back we drove up the airport road to visit the second of four vortexes that have been identified to the masses on vortex maps available in crysal shops in town. It was a somewhat short steep climb up red rock to get to the flat top where the vortex is known to be. It was about 5pm and I was immediately struck with the stunning beauty that I was now surrounded by. At the top of this rock I could see 360 degrees around, to both sides of the town below me, to the far away red rock formations and cliffs miles away. The setting sun was casting dramatic shadows all around. Rarely does one get to see and be in the center of such a living masterpiece. When I asked myself if I could acknowledge this place as a vortex, I thought that trying to put a label on what I was seeing and feeling was too much of a limitation so I dropped the question. I then continued to let my awareness extend out beyond the rock I was grounded on. I was surprisingly cynical about Sedona before this visit. Now I'm just enjoying being surprised. Sometimes it's nice to be mistaken.

I've lost 20 lbs on the Tostada Diet

Lynn — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 05:24:57 GMT

Yup. Got a new bath scale yesterday and it confirmed I'm down to 145.2 lbs. Yeehaw! I'd gotten up to about 168 or so and started on a pretty slow and steady diet over a year ago. I knew I wasn't willing to eat anything but what I like to eat so I decided my only option was just to eat a lot less of whatever that was. Mostly it's bean tostadas, sprinkled with jalapenos of course. Not those huge $8-12 size but the $3-5 size that fit on a small plate and have lettuce and cheese on top. I usually eat all the chips and salsa they serve and decline refills. And I've almost eliminated all alcholol, except for an occasional rum and diet coke or glass of Moscato. Thanks to my bestest friend, Bridget, I've been walking regularly and I think that has been an important factor as well. In fact today we walked and talked together on our cell phones while she was in San Diego and I'm in Camp Verde, AZ. I pulled all the large and x-large size clothes out of my closet before I left San Diego and passed most of them on to the Salvation Army. Just to eliminate that option, or at least make it hurt more. What's really cool is I feel completely enrolled in eating this way for the rest of my life. I still get to eat out a lot. I still get to eat my fav mexican food. I even have a hot fudge sundae (with peppermint ice cream of course) now and then. And because I eat such a small amount I usually take home half to eat later on. So happy I finally figured out something that would work in this area. And I like the way my back side looks again.

Out of Africa - s of Sedona

Lynn — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 05:06:17 GMT

Spent the day in a wild animal park called Out of Africa today. Never have I thought my $32 was so well spent. All the animals without exception seemed so happy and well cared for. Most of the big cats (pumas, lions, Bengal tigers) and even the bears showed affection whenever the handlers were close by. The park is privately owned by a couple who began taking in damaged or abandoned wildlife and it's heartwarming and heartwrenching simultaneously to see crippled animals be loved enough to have a good home for the rest of the life. There's a 23 year old male lion there that is living 5 years past his due date. Not all the animals are damaged, just a small handful of them. The two active and fiesty Bengal's the choose to play with today in the Tiger Splash show were amazing. None of the animals are trained at all, the handlers just play with them and the animals respond favorably. Including letting the handler on its back when swimming. They have a cougar/puma in the same "enclosure" with two black bears which was interesting. They did a bit of hissing and huffing when it came time to be fed but otherwise they kept a respectful distance. Enclosures were all large and natural-looking with shaded dens and lookouts for sunning. Besides the tram that takes you by the enclosures, there's an open Safari bus that takes you into the 22 acres were the zebras, ostriches, sables (those horns!), and giraffes live. The driver/handler gets out and interacts with almost all except the aggressive sables. We each got carrots so we could feed and pet the giraffe who had some intense focus on goofing with the camel in the adjacent enclosure. Seems the one hump camel bit the giraffe on the butt twice and the giraffe has been in payback mode ever since. We saw the giraffe take one swing of the neck but the camel was too fast for that. One of the other things that impressed me was that I never felt any of the drivers/handlers had a script they were going by. They just knew a lot of information about all the animals and shared it as it occured. So refreshing! Out of Africa is now on 150+ acres in Camp Verde, Arizona, south of Sedona. They moved from a 22 acre place near Phoenix a few years ago.

Enjoying the Ride

Lynn — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 22:10:48 GMT

I had a great time visiting my old boss and his wife in Phoenix. I don't usually visit people when I travel which is opposite of what a lot of people do (I think). Not sure why exactly. Something about how ackward it gets about where I'm going to sleep and how long I'm going to stay maybe. It had been two years since I'd seen Jackie and Charles at his retirement party at NEA in Washington, DC. Charles retired about six months or so before I did in June 2006. He looked wonderfully relaxed and Jackie made me feel very welcome to stay in their guest room. It was nice to see sides of him I had not known, like his beautiful house with a pool and his paintings which were quite good. They live next to a mountain and I was anxious to try out my new Merrell hiking shoes so I woke early and found my way huffing and puffing all the way up to the saddle (.6 from the top) where I could then see to the other side. Wow. So nice not to be slipping on the little pebbles all the way down. Stopped into Arcosanti on the way to Sedona. It's Paolo's long-time idea of communal living at its best. His dream was to build multi-use sustainable living structures that would eventually house up to 5,000 people. He got about 5-10% there and is now in his 70's but still very active and hands on. About 65 people over 3 generations live there now, with many graduates from his courses coming to visit infrequently. The setting is cool but quite remote - 2.5 mile gravel road to the structures at the edge of a canyon. Great food and friendly down to earth happy people abound. Makes me wonder if anyone these days is manifesting visions like this and Biosphere 2 and even Frank Lloyd Wright communities for learning architecture (I also saw Taliesen West near Scottsdale, AZ a few days ago). Yesterday I drove around Cottonwood and up into Sedona to look at campground options as I'm here for two weeks and am meeting up with a new friend I met at Life on Wheels in Tucson. She is a solo traveler in a small rig like mine so we thought we'd share a rental car. As skeptical as I am about how exploited for tourism Sedona has been, the beauty and amazingly vibrant redness and unique shapes of the surrounding land is unquestionable. We may even go on a Vortex Tour as I want to feel for myself the energy centers that so many experience. It's a ridiculous $50+ to camp in town but I will enjoy being able to walk to shops and restaurants and hiking paths. I'm getting spoiled by being able to park in nice RV resorts for just $2 a night after forking over $5,000 a couple years ago to Western Horizons. Today I'm in Camp Verde enjoying the large shade tree and the privacy of facing a grove of trees as well as the quietness. I do like quiet. Except of course when I'm boggying (how do you spell that word?) to a Seal CD I just found. I bought it for $1 at a yard sale Costello found in Berkeley a year or so ago and it's got that amazing song "we're never going to survive unless we get a little crazy" which I just cannot listen to without going a bit dance crazy myself. Don't you just love things like that?

Feeling a part of it all

Lynn — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 14:09:20 GMT

Wow. I am surrounded by amazing beauty and nature and flying things and crawling things and feel a part of the natural life here. Like it’s not separate from me but an extension of me. My vision and hearing seems more acute as I watch the hummingbird feast on the little red bush nearby. That’s the way my heart describes it. My mind says I am on my comfy couch in my Winnie in a gorgeous campground in the Usery Mountains, northeast of Mesa, Arizona. I picked out this spot, drove 5 miles for pizza, then returned to watch a blue and pink sunset performance as I set up “camp” for a few days. I covered my brand new tires so they would not dry up and crack like the one I found flat a few days ago as I left the Biosphere 2. Instead of being bummed I was just so grateful not to have experienced a blow out. A sweetheart of a guy responded to my Winnebago/Coach-Net Road Service call within an hour in the middle of nowhere. Everything went wrong for him but he did not let it faze him, he just kept trying this or that and calling his resources. First they’d locked the Biosphere 2 entrance gate so he couldn’t get to me, then the lug nuts wouldn’t unscrew, his generator wouldn’t start then later ran out of gas, his jack was not big enough to lift 14,000 lbs, the bolts holding my spare underneath were rusted shut, then it got dark. One by one, he stayed focused and came up with alternate methods and solutions to each problem. When his dad/boss came with a bigger jack I made sure he knew how amazing his son was, then tipped the son $20. The call didn’t cost me anything but roaming charges and I was on my way… to Camping World! Since it was dark I drove about an hour then got off the main road and found a sweet spot to pull over and park for the night. I already had an appointment to replace my 3 year old roof top air conditioner so I called to see if they’d put on a couple new Michelin’s while I was there. Determined to solve future tire problems in advance, I also asked them to put in metal stem valves and extensions on the rear duals so I could actually test air pressure on all 6 hereafter. Turns out a couple more tires were showing sidewall cracks so I replaced those as well. Now I’ve got an extra tire to take on the Alaska Highway next summer. The cool thing is I was able to delay paying the $2,000+ bill for all this for 12 months with zero interest. After spending the next night outside Camping World in the middle of suburbia Mesa, I was ready for some nature, though I enjoyed catching up on a couple movies and having my fav Red Lobster lunch. Back tracking just ten miles to Usery Mountain Regional Park, I strategically parked the Winnie last night so I could sit on my comfy couch and see the city lights of Phoenix way off in the distance. I have my bedroom facing west which allowed me to sleep in this morning (until 10:15 - a new record since retirement). The morning sun shines in the extended slide to warm up the couch where I usually eat and read. That’s where I’m sitting now with my laptop. All the windows are open and the breeze is awesome! It’s sunny out but the breeze has a coolness to it and goes from still to gusty. Though the campground is pretty full I can barely see a trailer nearby. Many beautiful birds are flying round and seem to stop right outside my window on the big desert bushes that almost pass off as trees. I usually like tall forests with shade trees but this is one of the prettiest desert scenes I’ve been in. Lots of bright yellow flowers, young jade green bush trees, little red/orange flowers that attract hummingirds, and fuzzy bunches on 7’ trees. Also, some of the tallest (20') cactus spikes I’ve ever seen, with not two but 8 branches sticking straight up. Just saw a little lizard pass by, then a bunny hopping. Writing and reading about these things certainly doesn’t capture the aliveness and specialness of the feeling here.

New sadness for old pattern

Lynn — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 05:57:00 GMT

This may be a long one so I just need whoever is reading this to know that I'm writing this for my benefit, not as a communication, but as a tool to see if something will reveal itself via this process. I tried to go to bed early to avoid what was going on but thankfully the truth wouldn't be shut up so easily. So I lay there with my eyes open until I could admit what was going on. It started simply. I miss Costello. I am sad and really miss the way Costello listened to me when we were together, especially when we first met. I'd never met a guy that was so sincerely interested in hearing about all that wonderful stuff I'd spent 50 years learning...about life, about myself, about God and beliefs. My soul was so nurtured by having someone listen and my heart exploded with the excitement of being able to finally share the many gifts I'd been blessed with having experienced. Thank you God and Thank you Costello for those 3-4 years together. So today I spent some time with a guy that I met a couple years ago that has an RV so I saw him again at the Life on Wheels Conference and he wasn't willing to do my RV maintenance unless he could flush the hot water heater so we arranged to stay and hang out a few days at a resort I belong to. First, I'll share the facts. Then I'll share my stuff about those facts. I arrived yesterday and found the place to be really pleasant. The spot I picked for us to park next to each other (he arrived today) was near a large fishing pond and under some tall shade trees. Across the pond is the main two-lane road which I don't notice that much (maybe because my hearing isn't as sensitive as others). There were several families camping nearby and it was nice this morning watching the kids fish or the ducks waddle around while I was eating breakfast and fussing around. And the hot tub and showers are close which I enjoyed. When my friend arrived he said the spot didn't work for him (too close to the road and kids, no sewer hook up, too shady for his solar system) so we walked around the RV park and found two spots at the top of the hill that are completely open (no trees). We couldn't get the spots with a view of the incredible mountains in the distance so we decided on the spots facing the brush and I'm to move up there tomorrow. It will be better to be less conspicuous when he's doing maintenance on my Winnie because you technically aren't supposed to "service" your vehicle at the resort. We're only here through Thursday (two more nights) anyway. Since he tows his work truck he was willing to drive to a town about half hour away to go to a mexican restaurant the resort recommended. Since it was Easter Sunday, that place was closed but we found another mexican restaurant open nearby that had good food but lousy service. It's more diffcult to stick to the facts without including my bias then I thought. After eating, we went to Tombstone which was much larger then I expected. It's been very well preserved and recreated. We each paid $10 to go through what was then a House of Ill Fame (now a museum of sorts) frequented by Doc Holiday and Wyatt Earp, etc. That kind of stuff seemed to fascinate us both. Then we had a drink in Big Nose Ruby's Saloon, which had live music and good lookers dressed up like the old Earp gang. So far, doesn't it sound like everything was going great? Well it was and it wasn't. It was nice not to have to drive the Winnie 20 miles. And it was fun to explore a new place with someone. And I most likely would not have felt comfortable being solo in a saloon, old time or not. What wasn't great was how much I noticed I withheld. I started withholding my opinions after I decided (based on something he'd said, of course), he wasn't open to hearing them. I withheld my intelligence and started asking questions about things I knew he knew more about than me. I withheld my approval of him while I thought to myself how critical he was (how ironic this is). I withheld my humor which is only allowed out when I either feel totally comfortable and accepted OR don't give a hoot what the person thinks. I mean I don't think I expected us to really hit it off but I sometimes miss the me that would at least get along enough to have sex before deciding I didn't want to spend more time with him. I guess those good ole days are long gone. That's not the real reason for the tears though. I think the reason I'm so sad is I miss me when I am so withheld. And I'm frustrated that I don't see it as a choice. And often when I am with a guy that I want to impress or attract in some way. the me that I really like completely disappears. Geez it's certainly no mystery why I've been preferring my own company lately. And I've noticed this pattern goes back to as far as I can recall. I'm in the "pain-body" section of Tolle's book now so I better keep reading. Maybe something deeper has been reactivated because I'm very itchy and antsy and squirmy right now.

Life on Wheels Conference is a Deal

Lynn — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 06:48:49 GMT

What an amazing bunch of useful practical information for maintaining my Winnie and getting the most out of being on the road for long lengths of time - all for $199, including the dry camping on Pima Comm College Campus in Tucson. There were 10 ninety minute sessions over 3 days and we had over 80 sessions to choose from. Gaylord Maxwell and his wife are in their mid-80s and still put on and attend 4-5 of these around the country each year. The LOW Conferences came about because after Gaylord retired as a teacher he thought it would be useful to teach RV classes but was told it wasn't lucrative enough for a company to take it on so he started them from scratch and get a dozen or so companies to sponsor it which keeps costs low. Like Burning Man, he doesn't allow any commercial vendors to sell products or set up booths. Some of the instructors have written books, along with Gaylord, and those are offered in the bookstore along with LOW logo clothes. He is a hoot and both are a terrific example of how to continue having fun up til the very end. A film producer/ RV couple did a presentation on Alaska and I am now inspired to spend a summer driving the Winnie up through Montana and the Canadian Rockies, follow the Alaska Highway and ferrying down the inside passage. If my house is rented, I could do it next year. I bought their set of 8 DVDs (3 of AK) so I could get the benefit of their experience. It's a 4,000 mile trip from San Diego ONE WAY so it takes a lot of preparation, in addition to the fuel costs. My solar system will save a lot on camping though as boondocking places are plentiful up there. It's great to be out of the city! When the conference was over I headed west too late to get into the International Wildlife Museum or AZ-Sonora Desert Museum which folks have said are must-sees. But I happened upon a campground in Tucson Mountain Park which was surprisingly gorgeous as the sun started setting and making things more defined and colorful. Those tall lanky cactus trees are all over the flat lands and the mountains. I can't help but think about Charlie Brown's Snoopy and his bandito character talking to the cactus. Though there are a lot of people camping (it is Friday night afterall), it is totally quiet and there is a full bright moon lighting up my bed area. I spent all night organizing and labeling my plastic bins. I bought the Arrested Development Season One DVD so will watch an episode or two before calling it a night.